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What other "Dad" things do I need to learn?

137 replies

MavisEnderby · 12/02/2011 21:51

I am now mum and dad since dp died.So here is a lighthearted thread about the Dad things I have learnt to do since dp is no longer here.Any suggestions for other Dad things I need to learn welcome!

1)Assemble flat pack furniture

Nightmare.It took me 2 hours to put together a CD tower thingummy.(Dp,I know you used to drive me mad with a lot of things at times but I take back all the moaning I did when you used to do all the DIY)

2)Taught ds to ride a bike without stabilisers

A park and lots of time and encouragement needed for this one

3)Taking the bins out

Enough said

4)Taken ds to the football

Not even the team I support.2 hours sat in the cold watching mediocre football in midwinter eeeek

5)Playing football in the park.

DS "You're not really very good at this are you Mum"

6)Assembling Starwars Lego (partially)

Ds "Hmm I think Daddy was much better at this" Big fat fail,we never did manage to fully assemble the Star Wars spaceship thingy.There are about 200 instructions.Crazy

7)Mending the broken Wii

Me "Are you sure we can't just turn it all off and then turn it back on again?"

DS (plaintive wail) "But then I'll lose level 200 (or something) on Lego Harry Potter

By some miracle managed to get it going again

Will add more as they crop up.

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Asteria · 14/02/2011 00:21

Brilliant thread! I'm doing the mummy/daddy thing too - my DS is 8. I seem to have got it all under control so far...

He has a big fat Swiss Army Knife and I have taught him how to whittle twigs. I taught him the fine art of "pull my finger". We also have a collection of old National Geographic for him to peruse whilst on the bog. We live in Yorkshire and he is very into his cricket (used to go to school with Botham's daughter funnily enough!) thankfully I have two DB's so I knew how to knock in the new bat. Little sod will not watch rugger though - but we do actually have the Barbarians v All Blacks video awaiting the first spark of interest.

Mavis - pm me if you want to discuss the fine arts of being both parents Smile

LittlePushka · 14/02/2011 00:35

Asteria..."pull my finger" indeed, Have you NO shame girl??!! Grin

Asteria · 14/02/2011 00:38

nope Grin none whatsoever! He also knows "wet willies" (lick finger and stuff it in the ear of unsuspecting victim)...

LittlePushka · 14/02/2011 00:54

That reminds me of another extremely important one - mavis and you must absolutely encourage and demonstrate the shameless art of the "wild wee" - it will put you is a dilemma of course because it is the mams job to roll eyes and tut in mock disapproval...

exexpat · 14/02/2011 01:06

Good post Mavis - I'm in the same position as you (DH died four years ago, DS is now 12).

Luckily I was always the one who put up the flatpack stuff, so Ikea holds no terrors for me, and 'our' toolbox is one I bought myself about 15 years ago. The screwfix catalogue arrives with my name on it.

But I really don't get sport - DS has been watching the rugby this week, and I try to get excited about it with him, but really I haven't a clue. Luckily he has an uncle who occasionally takes him to the rugby/football. I did manage to find him some very fine Jonah Lomu clips on youtube to admire, though.

I have had to learn to be the IT guy of the household - DS instinctively knows how to do a lot on the computer, but running virus scans, setting up printers and sorting out settings he has accidentally changed doesn't seem to be part of a nearly-teenage boy's computer expertise.

I definitely draw the line at watching Top Gear though - nothing could make me stay in a room with a television with Jeremy Clarkson on it - but DH wouldn't have watched it either.

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 09:23

The Screwfix catalogue is dangerous tool porn. It can all too easily lure you into the real hardcore material of Teng Tools or even (gulp) Snap-on. Ooh, just the name alone gives me a frisson of excitement.

I keep my Snap-on tool catalogue in a special velvet-lined box and I only get it out when I need some quality time on my own.

piprabbit · 14/02/2011 09:24

Sneezing, really loudly. So that the windows rattle.

Pan · 14/02/2011 10:17

Snorbs - visits to socket sets sections of DIY stores must always be an accompanied event for me. Just can't be trusted.

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 10:58

Oooooh. Socket sets. The chrome glitters so beautifully under the shop lights, doesn't it?

But you know what you want to go with a good socket set, don't you? A nice big torque wrench. G'wan, you know you want one.

Pan · 14/02/2011 11:18

I have a variety. 1'2 inch, 3/8 drives. Greased and ready to make that sublime wrenching sound....

Original poster
MavisEnderby · 14/02/2011 17:51

Really laughing at these,anymore?

OP posts:
Asteria · 14/02/2011 18:25

I'm teaching my DS (in the capacity of kitchen disco) to dance Rock'n'Roll style - nothing better than being flung about the dancefloor by a man who knows what he is doing!

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 18:43

Pan, are you sure you're not talking about socket wrenches ( for tightening or loosening, lovely clicky noise on the back stroke) rather than proper adjustable-range torque wrenches, calibrated in both foot-pounds and Newton-metres, precision tightening for the use of?

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 21:53

Ooh yeah. That hits the spot. I might just need to go and, um, have a private moment.

Pan · 14/02/2011 22:21

you just don't understand....

fridascruffs · 14/02/2011 22:25

torque wrenches are sooooo last year. give me a bearing puller anyday.

Asteria · 14/02/2011 22:34

Pan - I beg to differ, I have a pretty impressive (as described by my DH's godfather) tool box thank you very much. I need one as I do most of my minor car maintenance myself - put in a new alternator the other day. My stepfather gives me a Haynes manual with every new car (when I say new I mean crappy old banger that I buy off ebay!).

Oh crap, I'm turning into a bloke...

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 22:34

Bearing pullers are good but there's only so much you can do with one. They're like grease guns - fun when you need them but doomed to spend most of their time at the bottom of your toolbox.

A good and chunky pair of mole grips is another matter. Now there is a tool that you could use every day. Perfect for everything from clamping while welding to quick and dirty riveting to gripping rounded off nuts to removing splinters from small children's fingers. And if all else fails you can even use them as a hammer.

Stick a screwdriver blade on the back of a pair of mole grips and I'd accidentally stab myself within seconds you'd have the universal tool.

exexpat · 14/02/2011 22:40

Do you think you need one of these?

maxpower · 14/02/2011 22:45

always fill the dishwasher in the most illogical manner ever (so that if you took everything out and refilled it, you'd get twice as much in it)

also fill the dishwasher up but don't put it on

never replace the toilet roll on the holder, just balance the new one on the top of the empty roll

if you've sorted the dirty washing into different loads, make sure that you add any new dirty washing to the washing basket, rather than the corresponding load iyswim

Snorbs · 14/02/2011 22:49

Back off the tool porn for a minute, one thing I think would be useful to do is to teach a child how to maintain their own bicycle. Checking tyre pressures, checking the brakes, oiling the chain and so on.

namechange100 · 14/02/2011 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fridascruffs · 14/02/2011 22:54

Snorbs- bike maintenance is still tool porn and you know it. You're in denial- a course of counselling might help?
Bearing pullers don't have wide application, it's true, but i love to just... play with them.
i see your mole grips (all mouth and no trousers IME, the mole grips) and I raise you a Stilson's.