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Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Original poster

Older dads?

19 replies

Mymblesson · 24/01/2011 14:33

Any other men on here fall into the 'older dad' category?

I'm 48 and have a 4 year old son and sometimes it worries me that I won't be able to keep up with him by the time he's a teenager. After all when he's 16, I'll be 60!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GentleOtter · 24/01/2011 14:38

My husband is 54 and we have a 3 year old son. (I'm 50) We are both gibbering wrecks trying to keep up with him.

We were wondering how many people take their toddlers on Saga holidays.

Original poster

Mymblesson · 24/01/2011 14:44

Hehe - I wonder how the other people on the holiday wuld react

An additional complication is that I was in good health when we decided to try for a baby, but in the last couple of years I've developed an autoimmune disease related to the mild psoriasis I have which means I get swollen arthritic-y joints sometimes and also suffer from chronic fatigue when I'm having a flare-up.

Now, I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than watch football, but I want to be fit enough to kick a ball around with my son to give him a chance to get to enjoy the game even if I never have. I worry that I won't be able to .

OP posts:

GentleOtter · 24/01/2011 16:55

Have sent PM.

geordieminx · 24/01/2011 16:59

My Dh is 48, we have a son who is 3.5, he also has 2 grown up children from his first marriage. It's not a problem for us, although he has said no more, as he would like a little bit of time to himself in his 60's.

purplepidjin · 24/01/2011 17:07

DP is 45, I'm 29 (and female), we're paniing to try in a couple of years. He is very healthy - running, martial arts - but I do have some private concerns... It's nice to know that there are guys out there of a similar age enjoying fatherhood

BeenBeta · 24/01/2011 17:17

Mymblesson - I wouldnt worry about not being able to keep up when they are 16. They won't want you to be with them by then anyway.

I am 47 and have a 8 and 10 yr old son and was quite ill for a couple of years when they were younger. It a sad for me when I couldnt run around with them but I did as much as I could on a good day.

I am planning to Judo with them as they do it now and older men can do that quite happily. I thought maybe camping and skiing as well when they are a bit older. Its not so much what you do as just being with them they care about.

CrispyTheCrisp · 24/01/2011 17:20

My DH is 50 and we have a 4 and 2 year old.

I had concerns too purple, but the DD's have a father who loves them and for now can 'keep up' physically. I would MUCH rather this than a father who was violent/uncaring or absent from their lives

4andnotout · 24/01/2011 17:25

My dp is 46 and we have 4 dd's of 9,5,3&2 and are trying for another. He is a hands on dad and can keep up with these energetic years so I don't think the teenage years will be too bad, he does have an allotment to run to if it gets too bad though.

Original poster

Mymblesson · 24/01/2011 21:37

Thanks for the responses, it's cheered me up.

I've had a bad day with the psoriatic arthritis (it comes and goes and affects different joints) and have been hobbling around like an old man in the office today: when I'm like that I'm just so afraid of what the future might bring, so thanks for the boost when I needed it!

I love being a dad and am very hands on: as she'd be the first to admit, my wife is rubbish at getting up in the night and in the mornings for example, so I've always done that side of things as interupted sleep doesn't affect me half as much and I like getting him ready for Nursery and giving him breakfast. I just hope I can keep it up!

OP posts:

eeore · 25/01/2011 18:07

I'm 42 with a nearly 3 year old and a 7 month old.

I've never thought of myself as an older father.

I've always taken the attitude that you can only do what you can do, and they are going to hate you for not doing the stuff you can't - until they become parents themselves when they will appreciate what you did do... if you see what I mean?

Tudgelina · 01/02/2011 21:07

I'm 28 and have been trying for a baby with my partner who is 51. He already has 2 older teenage children. The doctor said it shouldn't make any difference and to give it a year but I'm sooo worried : ( any advice appreciated

eeore · 02/02/2011 01:12

Tudgelina

I realise you are desperate but this is a thread for older dads to talk about their experience of fatherhood.

bobbyzee · 10/02/2011 13:30

My best friend is 43 and has a 4 year old and a 9 month old. He is a fit bloke and has no problems.

I am 40 and was completely the other way - my kids are 20, 16 and 14.

We have discussed this at length - the right time to become a dad and we have agreed that there is no right time. I love the fact that I am still fit enough to be actively involved in my children's lives - I took my oldest to his first few gigs and I am about to do my ref's badge and coach my youngest's football team.

He has the advantage of being much more financially secure than I ever was/have been.

Swings and roundabouts.

oldbloke · 18/03/2011 16:09

First post.

I have two boys, 8 and 5, and I'm 51.
I'm fit and healthy enough, though if I'm honest, after a weekend with both of them I'm usually in need of time in an iron lung, not a demanding week at work ahead!
What does prey on my a lot is the fact that I'm likely to die while they are both relatively young. Hopefully not next week or anything, and I'd prefer to peg it sometime after my telegram from the King, but I have to be realistic. I feel a lot of guilt that they will have to deal with losing me sooner rather than later.

Seabright · 19/03/2011 22:26

My DP is in his early sixties and we have a 2 year old. Already had people assume he's her grandfather

textualhealing · 20/03/2011 09:26

Hats off to all older parents! I was very young when I had my children and now I am almost 50 with 2 grandchildren, I often wonder how I would have coped if I'd been an older mum. The GC's are normal, energetic, little beauties but I'm always slightly relieved when their parents take them home!

menottoooldyet · 07/06/2011 23:13

I'm 39 and DP soon 53 and we are thinking of becoming parents for the first time... Eeeeek!
-Time has just "not been right" before (education, work etc.).. Now we want "a go at it" before it's too late....
Any comments?.. -Any advice?

hipsdontlie · 12/06/2011 22:36

kids - 1,3,5

me - 43

DH - 51

good fun but we are very tired all the time!

iamthedaddy · 01/07/2011 22:04

so an old thread but 1st time dad here at 43 and I wanted to add my tuppence worth. I am really, really chilled with being an older dad. I am wealthier than I have ever been, more wordly wise and capable than I ever was in my twenties and I've done the wild parties, drinking until I am sick and general irresponsibility that comes with being a guy so much that I now feel that I am ready for family life [insert your own joke here about pipe and slippers]. Mind you bagged a gorgeous young filly too so that helps a lot

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