Is "ladies" patronising?

9 replies

CabbagesOnFire · 18/04/2016 10:59

My partner, with nothing but polite intentions (he's a brainy engineering type, not much given to considerations of language/meaning/etiquette) uses the word "ladies." I find it weird and patronising. As in "At the top of the hill were a group of ladies on their phones."
Does anyone else feel the same way?
I think of myself as a woman, and would never refer to myself as a lady unless I was being silly in a mock-posh sort of a way.

OP posts:

MattDillonsPants · 18/04/2016 11:10

Well have you told him? Being brainy and an engineering type means nothing by the way when it comes to being aware of sounding like a tit.

Ladies does garner mixed response on here you will find. Some don't like it, others do. I always think it's best to accept that if some don't like it then it's better to find another term.

Original poster

CabbagesOnFire · 18/04/2016 11:23

Ha ha, yes I have told him.
I just wondered if it was just me. Interesting that you say it's been discussed before.

OP posts:

MardyBra · 18/04/2016 15:24

""At the top of the hill were a group of ladies on their phones."
in this context it is, unless he would say a group of gentlemen on their phones. women is better imo.

I would only use ladies in a situation where I would use gentlemen, or gents - mainly addressing groups or talking about loos.

catsofa · 18/04/2016 15:34

I hate it, I'm a woman!

AlleyCatandRastaMouse · 18/04/2016 15:35

Use ladies only where you would use gents to describe the male equivalent scenario is my view. We have a few ladies sports round these parts and I hate it.

Owllady · 18/04/2016 15:36

I'm married to an engineer

Bloodybridget · 08/05/2016 13:02

I notice when DP and I are together in a cafe, for example, we're very often addressed as 'ladies' as in 'what can I get you ladies?' (we are both women, obviously!) and it does make me cringe a bit, but I understand it's meant politely and there isn't a clear alternative. But people using the word to refer to a third party sounds kind of old-fashioned and sexist.

MomofBride · 08/05/2016 13:09

No one would say to two men in a cafe 'what can I get you gentlemen' would they. What is wrong with 'what would you like' or 'what can I get you'. Unless it's referring to the loos it's patronising.

Bloodybridget · 09/05/2016 22:02

MomofBride that's true. I wonder what I'd say if I was working in a cafe?

Flip