Have no one to go to cultural events with <sob>

[AnotherSurreyMum]

I live near a Thameslink train line which gets me into London within 30-40 mins.
Adult children now grown and flown and I'd like to go to see more plays, classical music concerts and author talks/ literary events.

But I simply can't seem to find folk to go with!
Friends don't seem interested (maybe cost an issue?) and DH mostly 'not his thing'.
I'd love to be able to go to London early, have something to eat, see the event and have a chat with someone about it. It would be a bonus if we travelled together, as coming home alone late is also not great.

Am I missing something? Do groups exist for this?

😢

Do you ever go on your own? I can see that having someone to discuss things with would be good, but I wouldn't let lack of company stop me enjoying the theatre/museums etc.

I KNOW exactly what you mean just this week-end i booked myself in for one theatre trip and 5 literary talks at a local festival. Not one of my friends wanted to go with me. I think most people must just like to stay home and watch TV/surf the web.

There are meet up groups that might go as well but i've decided to just go on my own now.

Would say biggest problem £££. How much is the ticket for such a show?

Buy a spare ticket post on your local nextdoor group or facebook?
Contact local u3a?

May be, you can check out Thrive on Facebook. It’s for women to meet up and support each other, although I haven’t met anyone/ dont have local meet-ups.

the talks I booked were £10 and the theatre was £35 but I don't often go to the theatre. Surely a takeaway for two is £35 nowadays.

Just go by yourself, better that than missing out.

I do sometimes, and especially for daytime events. But I often look around the groups of (mostly) women there in twos and threes and feel a bit sad and lonely!

I do try talking to other people on their own, but it's hard.

I think your DH should go with you..even if it's not his thing entirely, isn't that what couples do?

I get you OP.
There is a show coming up near me which I'd like to see but I can't find anyone to go with either.
I'm thinking I might just go on my own.

Part of enjoying a show is having someone to chat about it with though.

He does occasionally come to things, but to be honest he can suck the joy out of an evening if he hasn't enjoyed it! Also isn't really into discussing it at all.

I have an arts background and probably want to analyse and discuss in more detail.

I don’t know. I wouldn’t ask dh to come with me for things I know aren’t his thing, he’d be bored stiff and it would take the shine off of whatever I was doing. Likewise he’d not ask me to come to something he’d know I would find boring and I appreciate that.

That's hard, I always go with my DH as we like similar things, can't he go with you anyway, it seems sad not to share stuff like this with him, he might enjoy it more than he thinks

I agree that it isn't too much to ask for him to join you at least occassionally.

Only if you view coupledom as dragging yourself to stuff in which you have zero interest because your spouse doesn’t have any interested friends.

No! I don't want to be sitting with someone bored to tears, it sucks some of the fun out of it.

I go to opera, ballet and theatre on my own because it's not DP's thing. We go to comedy together, he goes to gigs without me because it's not my thing.

There are always people to talk to in the interval when you're comparing thoughts about a show.

Well, find a way to find companions for this kind of trip. Go on Meet-up? It will allow a new organiser to start one group for free, with up to ten members, and two ‘events’ per month. Yours would be about finding interested parties to attend cultural events with.

I hear you @AnotherSurreyMum! I’d come with you if I lived closer to London (I’m 100s miles away). I grew up in London and me and my dad did “a cultural thing” once a month in my teens. We didn’t actually do that many before he got too ill, but a highlight was the 1812 overture with canons at RFH.

Our DC are now old enough to be left. The various big northern cities I live within an hour or so’s drive of have a lot to offer. DH is not the most enthusiastic companion, but he did accompany metro “H is for Hawk” at the weekend. Not highbrow culture, but a film I really wanted to see, but not one he’d chose. Opera North were performing Peter Grimes the same night. I had no takers for that, bit we can work up to it!

I quite often go to the theatre on my own now, DH will come occasionally to some things but theatre really isn't his thing and it's a lot of extra money to spend for something he won't really enjoy. He is more into live music but I don't like the bands and singers he likes so he goes on his own to those although I did go to one gig by myself last year. I go with friends too sometimes but there is something quite liberating about seeing something advertised and just going on and booking it there and then without having to faff about trying to organise someone else to go with. I have had some nice chats with people next to me in theatres and just read my phone otherwise in the intervals. You can always book matinees if worried about travelling home late, I tend to do that for the West End but drive to local theatres in the evenings.

Look at the Meet Up website or post in other local sites inviting women in your position to join up with you? I’m sure there will be women local to you in exactly the same position. I’m in a similar position myself, I live in London but all of my friends have gradually moved away so I’m left going to these sorts of things alone. I’d rather go alone than not go at all.

I would look upon this as merely one stage of your life, not forever. For now, become your own best friend and go alone. You can do all the things you’ve listed by yourself except the chat afterwards (and for that there are fellow audience members and / or starting a thread here). As for getting home afterwards - cabs or a Premier Inn, unless you have London based people you can borrow a bed from.

How close are you to your children having children of their own? I spent a wonderful ten years taking a child to everything - (theatre, opera, concerts, choral evensong in Cathedrals, sightseeing, restaurants, etc). We had so much fun, but I’ve gradually acclimatised to doing most things on my own again. It’s fun going out with another adult - but generally much less relaxed.

I go on my own to stuff. It's great to go with other people but sometimes I have an idea in my head of what I want to do, where I want to sit, and then if you have other people, you have to take their views into account.
Which of course is how it should be - but there are plusses to going alone!

I don't love eating alone though, so I tend to swoop in and out of that a bit.

I joined a few Facebook groups about musicals/plays I like, I don't go to them with these people, but you can talk about it there afterwards. Was anyone at Hamilton today - what did you think of Aaron Burr?
You can also quite often chat in the interval with your neighbours, especially if everyone is enjoying it.

Havent read the full thread but try London lonely Girls on Facebook if not mentioned. If there's something I want to do that pals don't, I pop on there and usually find someone.

No.
I'd go to a gig with DH if I thought I'd enjoy it at least enough to not be miserable but wheres the fun in knowing he won't enjoy it, is probably zoned out, won't be much use taking a out it later and we've paid extra £++ for the privilege