Have no one to go to cultural events with <sob>

[AnotherSurreyMum]

I live near a Thameslink train line which gets me into London within 30-40 mins.
Adult children now grown and flown and I'd like to go to see more plays, classical music concerts and author talks/ literary events.

But I simply can't seem to find folk to go with!
Friends don't seem interested (maybe cost an issue?) and DH mostly 'not his thing'.
I'd love to be able to go to London early, have something to eat, see the event and have a chat with someone about it. It would be a bonus if we travelled together, as coming home alone late is also not great.

Am I missing something? Do groups exist for this?

😢

Hi @AnotherSurreyMum you and I sound quite similar. I do have a DH who'd go with me but we have a SEN child and some issues around babysitting. PM me if you want to try a meet up!

I go by myself, for stuff I really want to see, would prefer to have company so do that when I can but much prefer going alone to not going! It’s been enjoyable every time.

agree about wanting to talk about it afterwards, so I look up peoples’ reviews (written or video) and / or post about it on here, although it’s quiet in this bit of MN!

How old are you? U3A round our way have groups for art, opera, ballet etc, etc.

I once ventured to a music event in my own, I got chatting to some women next to me, and they made a huge fuss about me being on my own. I was mortified, I felt self conscious enough as it was, and left at the interval ☹️

For goodness’ sake! Surely you didn’t?

Yes, I did. I’m sure the women meant well, but making such a fuss about something I already felt very self conscious about, made me feel very Billy No Mates. Rightly or wrongly

Post on next door and you will probably find willing companions. Problem is if you don't click...

I love to go to classical concerts on my own, choose relatively cheap seats, get a cheap and tasty dinner beforehand and if I don't want to, I don't need to talk to anyone for 3 hours!

It's nice to have someone to go with too, but please don't miss out because you feel self conscious, OP. Lots of people go on their own, noone will be looking at you or judging you.

I know exactly how you feel, OP. It's not the same on your own. Also it's not like people sitting next to strangers necessarily want to engage with them! I wish there was a FB group for people like us who want to go to the theatre.

Just realised this post is from months ago. Hope you found someone to go with!

I live rurally. I love going to concerts ... no-one to go with since OH died. So I started organising coach trips to concerts for people ... it has been massively popular!

Have a look and see if there is a NADFAS group near you. Obviously they will be organising local talks and events that you can go to, but they also arrange trips further afield, with a cultural theme. It's also a good place to meet other people who are in the same position as you, and who might be interested in joining in your own excursions.

https://theartssociety.org/NADFAS%20Home

Honestly going on your own to these things is the best. I have recently obtained a gentlemen friend after years of being single and he likes to come with me, which is nice, but sometimes I do miss the days when I used to mooch around London by myself before the performance and find someone interesting to talk to in the bar.

When I go with him or a friend I sometimes find myself more concerned about whether they're enjoying themsleves than I am about enjoying it myself.

Good luck OP. I am working to going alone to things too. Don’t give up on going out.

My mum goes to shows on her own all the time

my mother joined a WI group and then out of that group can find someone or a few to go with her - so join a group locally and work from there in my opinion

but i go to things by myself all the time and so does she

I often go by myself, mostly because once I decide I want to go, I don't want to wait for people to take a couple of days to check their diaries etc. I appreciate that's pretty selfish but everyone knows.

Also I'm a bit better off these says so I tend to treat myself to good seats and I appreciate not everyone can afford Covent Garden.

Anyway after a bit of "oh I'd have come...:" from some people, I've set up a WhatsApp group to invite people but they know they need to reply within 24 hours or I'm booking with or without them! I throw out the date and the price and have to sit on my hands for a day. It's purgatory!

I do like going with others but if I do go by myself, I try to give off "International woman of mystery" vibes 😄