Have no one to go to cultural events with <sob>

[AnotherSurreyMum]

I live near a Thameslink train line which gets me into London within 30-40 mins.
Adult children now grown and flown and I'd like to go to see more plays, classical music concerts and author talks/ literary events.

But I simply can't seem to find folk to go with!
Friends don't seem interested (maybe cost an issue?) and DH mostly 'not his thing'.
I'd love to be able to go to London early, have something to eat, see the event and have a chat with someone about it. It would be a bonus if we travelled together, as coming home alone late is also not great.

Am I missing something? Do groups exist for this?

😢

I’d go by myself rather than miss it, but I totally understand where you’re coming from

Are there any Facebook groups? I’m in Scotland, so miles away, but I joined a group for social events up here. I’ve been to a few theatre shows, cinema etc with the group so far.

What sort of things do you like? I am in a similar position and would love someone to go to the theatre and art galleries with. Imm

I feel the same as you. I’ve been to events eg a gig and sat behind couples where the man (it’s usually a man) is obviously bored stiff, and showing it, and you can see the partner keep checking in on him rather than be able to be caught up with the show.

I went to a gig once with my DH whose music I was so-so about and decided then and there not to do that again. I didn’t of course show my boredom for a second but honestly life is too short and those tedious 2 hours add up 😁

We are fine about going separately to things where our interests don’t match.

I have an arts background and probably want to analyse and discuss in more detail.

No arty friends or colleagues?

I go on my own but often have Facebook chats with friends who might have seen the show at a different time.

My friend has started a theatre club. She posts up shows, sees how many people would like to go, and then negotiates group rates with the theatres. She gets really good deals. People pay her upfront,

It’s quite a bit of organisation though.

I go to loads of stuff on my own. My partner and children often aren’t interested, and I’m happy on my own. Almost every time I end up with people chatting to me. I’m not sure why; I don’t think I look particularly friendly!

I’m single, retired and live in London. I go to cultural stuff (theatre, opera, art galleries, museums, etc etc) several times a week, almost always on my own, and I love it. I always get cheapest tickets, sit in the gods or stand, off west end mostly. This week, for example, I’m going to ‘Iolanthe’ at Wilton’s Music Hall, ‘Arcadia’ at the Old Vic, a free LSO lunchtime concert and ‘16 Postcodes’ at the King’s Head Theatre in Islington. If you want to try out meeting me for a meal before and a chat afterwards to do it with someone, feel free to message me.

Yes, I had a spell of trying to organise book-related events for a book club I was in and it was a bit of a nightmare - people saying they'd come then not paying, or dithering until all the tickets had gone, and people not putting the date in their diary/ 'forgetting' etc. I'd also say that since covid there seems less of an appetite for going out generally (and certainly for going up to London from where I live). People seem more wedded to Netflix!

It is hard! I also once started a book club - utter nightmare. And it’s true we’ve lost the habit of going out, post-lockdown. I’ve attempted to fix that by divesting myself of some screening subscriptions and signing up to a monthly cinema membership. But I’m definitely not back to full steam with live performances.

Are there any coach companies that do theatre trios? Or any local friendship women groups that do trips? I belong to one, and people post ideas on it such as theatre etc, and see if anyone wants to join them.

The local groups arranging theatre trips by coach all seem to be for popular musicals/dinner packages, which isn't really the sort of thing I'm looking for.

I think the local U3A might do some, but I still feel a bit young for that!😂

Absolutely. I wouldn’t be attracted by coach trips. Or musicals. I’m completely wedded to the spontaneity of choosing my own transport and only going to things I’m interested in - which might be far away from what’s generally popular.

It is really fortunate that I don’t mind my own company and have no qualms whatsoever about going to things alone.

Why? I wouldn't go with him to a football match. I went to the ballet on my own last month and loved it. It's nice to go with someone and chat but if nobody else is available I would go alone. If I wanted to go to the cinema I would probably ask on my Book Club WhatsApp first, I've done that before.

So go on your own OP! My biggest treat is a morning train to London, quick whizz around an art gallery, early supper in a restaurant, watch a play, night in a hotel, breakfast, then home. A solo 24 hours, and just the best pick me up ever.
And once a year I make it a 3 night trip!

If I lived as close as you do, I'd be there every week..... just do it, and enjoy yourself.

I have had to do these things on my own for years . Ex had no interest and as people say I usually chat nicely to others. But it does get lonely and tedious by yourself all the time . Seems a shame to live in London and not get to take advantage of all it has to offer.
OP @LoserWinner has offered to contact and maybe meet up . Would you do that ? Then you have to keep us updated !. I have had connections in RL from MN going on for years now.

You don't need to talk to anyone, you just enjoy being by yourself. Put a book in your handbag, if that helps.
I see lots of solo folk at the theatre - nobody cares. I was at "Operation Mincemeat" at The Lowry on Saturday, and there were plenty of us without a companion.

Even if you can't find a specific group, could you join a local hobby group in the hope of meeting like minded people who might like to go? For example, I sing in a choir and am in a book group. I have gone to things like theatre, flower shows etc with people from there.

This is the thing - I'm involved in a music group and two book groups and a hiking group and I often suggest stuff to people in these groups, but hardly anyone seems interested in any of the more cultural stuff!
I don't think it's me, as they're friendly otherwise and we do coffees and meals out and things. Getting people to go an see NT Live events at the local cinema is about as much as I've managed!

I honestly prefer to do things on my own sometimes. For museums, galleries and the like I prefer to move at my own pace. For concerts and the theatre you're not talking to anyone anyway.

Quite often I go with friends or family but have come to realise more and more that I prefer my own company.

Maybe someone local to you on here would be interested though. Could there be a group set up?

Maybe start your own group online? I'm sure there are other people in your situation!

I regularly go to the theatre on my own. I'd say 90% of the time I will find myself talking to the person sitting on either side of me during the interval (if I don't go to the bar) or whoever I'm standing next to (if I do). Sometimes before the curtain goes up too.

I think you should probably stick up a notice on the local meet-up page and see if you can get a few local people interested in joining you. A chap near me set up a book club just after lockdown and he is still going with 10-20 people meeting every month. Once you have a group you can have a WhatsApp and everyone posts the trips they’re interested in doing. I’m not suggesting you all go to everything. I’m in a book club and a group of us will go to other types of events - theatre, cinema or art exhibitions. We don’t all go to everything but there’s usually at least one person up for something if you propose it. ( payment sent at the time of booking though)

Theatre - there is a families who love theatre FB group and everyone there is very friendly. I am sureties would be people on there open to
meeting up and going. (Although it has family in the name it’s really not particularly family orenitated)

Just agreeing with everyone else really. Once I started going to the theatre on my own I noticed how many other people are also on their own. I keep a cultural journal (yes, I know that sounds like I am a twat) but I review the books, the plays or exhibitions I see. I used to engage on Twitter about things but now I don't have that I haven't worked out how to use Insta in the same way.

I take a book, I often go somewhere nice for lunch or dinner and if I know someone local I will mention I am coming. I went to a literary festival recently and two people I have met from MN live the city so mentioned to both and one spent the whole day with me at the festival and lunch etc and the other coffee.

The problem is if you don't then only you miss out. I love going at my convenience, and I will sometimes want to pay more than most for certain productions and i dont like having to be sure someone else has a good time. Plus, sometimes people do talk.

Join U3A? Our branch has a theatre group. Also, Maybe there is a stand alone theatre group in your area.