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Culture vultures

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What;s the worst song you have ever heard?

368 replies

UnquietDad · 31/07/2007 17:59

For several years, for me, it was Puffy P Diddy Daddy's drive-by murder of "Every Breath You Take", inexplicably re-titled "I'll Be Missing You", and even more inexplicably Number One for 6 weeks in 1997.

But now it's something I had the misfortune to hear the other day, a collaboration between someone called Nelly and someone called Tim McGraw.

The former presumably has enough bling and "attitude" and stupid sportswear for him not to mind people pointing at him and saying "you've got a girl's name". The latter is one of those people you only find in the American charts, clad in shades and a black cowboy hat and sporting a camp goatee. Yes, it's the world's first rap-country crossover, and it is every bit as bad as that sounds.

It meanders along for four minutes (although it seems much, much longer) with no vestige of a tune and one or both of Nelly and Tim growling "it's allll in mah heeeee-d".

The video gives away the fact that the two of them haven't even met and probably recorded the thing in two separate studios thousand of miles apart, thus betraying the "song"'s origins as a marketing-man's dream. Presumably it's aiming at snaring a predominantly-southern-state white redneck audience and an urban black audience at the same time. I note also from the video that "Nelly" also wears a plaster on his head (heeeee-d), presumably because he really isn't a wack def jam muthafeckin brutha from da streetz at all, but a bit of a wuss who got scratched by someone else in the playground.

It's such an unmitigated load of shite. And it'll probably lead to more amalgamations of the two genres: "Mah Baby Dang Done Left Me (So My Homeez Gonna Fill Da Bitch Wit Lead)" perhaps? Or "I Ain't Gonna Hang Wit Ya Posse No More (Cos You Said Mah Cousin's Dawg Was Ugly)"?

OP posts:
moondog · 31/07/2007 22:22

Savage garden astoundingly bad

Has anyone mentioned Sting yet?

UnquietDad · 31/07/2007 22:24

Rufus Wainwright has an INCREDIBLY annoying whiney voice.

OP posts:
moondog · 31/07/2007 22:26

Hasn't he just
What the fuck do people see in him?

moondog · 31/07/2007 22:26

Break my stride
Matthew Wilder

That was nasty

itwasntme · 31/07/2007 22:32

all that she wants

Fuck off you whiney voiced cow

I reaaaaaally hate this song

GryffindorGHOSTY · 31/07/2007 22:32

I was reading through this thread and was thinking, "Who wrote that utterly shite song about not liking ghosts and preferring toast"?
Thank you margoandjerry ... that has to be the worst set of lyrics ever written ...

itwasntme · 31/07/2007 22:33

Moondog, I agree with you about Sting.

Has he ever released anything that doesn't make you want to throw the radio out of the window?

moondog · 31/07/2007 22:34

God,he's so fucking smug too isn't he?
I'd love to twat him.

lucyellensmum · 31/07/2007 22:37

i cant think of one, but i know dp absolutely HATES achey breaky heart by billy ray sirus - i quite like it

Miaou · 31/07/2007 22:38

How about MacArthur Park?

Here's the chorus:

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Desiderata · 31/07/2007 22:38

Electric Avenue by Eddy Grant.

I can't say I hate it, but I laugh hysterically whenever I hear it.

'Deep in me heart I abhor ya, can't get food for the kids ... Good God' ... and then there's a squelchy farty noise.

MotherFunk · 31/07/2007 22:44

Message withdrawn

corblimeycharlie · 31/07/2007 22:45

I can't bear that whiney shite that was played endlessly on commercial radio earlier this year (my secretary makes me listen to something called Real Radio, she has acrylic nails and I am too scared of her to object) by Pink I think its called No Body Cares or No Body Knows or some such rubbish. Utter fecking drivel.
Not too keen on the umberella rella rella song either.

melpomene · 31/07/2007 22:46

This year's Eurovision effort (Scooch, was it?) has got to be up there.

And the Cheeky Girls: "Touch my bum, this is life"

Desiderata · 31/07/2007 22:47

Get it right, charlie.

Ella, ella, ella.

Desiderata · 31/07/2007 22:47

Madonna's version of American Pie.

Evil.

corblimeycharlie · 31/07/2007 22:49

Sorry Des. I'm trying not to pay too much attention but it seems to have been around for ever eva eva.

mamazon · 31/07/2007 22:50

anything by coldplay - its all so depressing

moondog · 31/07/2007 22:51

What the hellis MacArthur park about? Is there a deeper meannig or am i being too optimistic?

lol at farty noise on Electric Avenue.Dead right.

lucyellensmum · 31/07/2007 22:52

oi!! i like eddy grant i do

lucyellensmum · 31/07/2007 22:52

what farty noise?

eidsvold · 31/07/2007 22:54

whitney houston

my heart will go on - celine dion

beautiful by whiny James Blunt

MotherFunk · 31/07/2007 22:54

Message withdrawn

wotsits · 31/07/2007 22:55

I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder - it's bloody awful.
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by Air Supply.
Can you tell we had crap in-car entertainment in the 80s?

MerryMarigold · 31/07/2007 22:55

Yeah, pretty much anything by Slean Dion

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