Poetry Workshop - Exercise 4

6 replies

Janstar · 21/05/2004 11:27

I've just read a thread by Elliot asking for poems for a welcoming ceremony for her ds.

What poems can we come up with to welcome a new baby?

Can someone please post a link to the other thread for reference?

OP posts:

mothernature · 21/05/2004 11:35

here

Original poster

Janstar · 21/05/2004 11:47

Thank you mothernature.

OP posts:

mummytojames · 21/05/2004 15:53

as i stand here with you in my hands
i say welcolm
welcolm to the world
welcolm to the family
welcolm to my heart
we will make many promises through our lives
some easy to keep
some hard
but the easiest promise i can make to you
is that i will love you unconditional
i will protest you with my heart and soul
and most of all i will always be here for you
welcolm (enter name)
welcolm to our lifes

Original poster

Janstar · 21/05/2004 17:32

mummytojames, that's lovely. All the sentiments are there and I think it would be most appropriate for a welcoming ceremony.

You do need to watch your spelling and grammar a bit...look at the 11th line for instance. You didn't mean 'protest', but 'protect' and the error changes the whole meaning!

That doesn't mean to say that your spelling and grammar have to conform to conventionality in poetry - have you ever read anything by e e cummings for instance? He never ever used upper case. DO keep to your own style as long as the meaning is clear.

I think if this was to be a written piece I would cut out the three 'welcome's on the 3rd 4th and 5th lines and just say 'to the world' etc. However, if read out the repetition works very well. With the grammar tidied up, this poem reads aloud very well indeed.

OP posts:

popsycal · 21/05/2004 19:30

elliot - i wrote one for my son's naming ceremony - would you like to read it?

popsycal · 21/05/2004 19:33

elliot - i wrote one for my son's naming ceremony - would you like to read it?

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