Historic abuse

[Anonadvicepls]

I found out last night from a close family member that they were a victim of child sexual abuse, along with their siblings. The perpetrators were not related but known to the parents. This abuse was horrific and went on for a long time.

This family member has never told a soul until she told me last night. I was very supportive and listened to everything and didn't pressure her for anymore, now I don't know what to do.

Do I bring it up again or do I leave that open for her? I feel so awful that they've carried this with them all their life, she is the eldest of 5 siblings, most of the abuse was directed at her, but she knows that x2 other siblings were abused along with her. She said she's never spoke to them because of the ages it happened she can't be sure that they remember it and doesn't want to put that on them,

Any advice on helping support someone in this situation would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance

My advice would be let her know you are there for her, listen, and do no more unless she asks you to.

All you can do is be there for her if/when she wants to talk about it. There's nothing you can do except support her.

You shouldn't really be the one to bring it up in future. Just allow her to, if she wants.

You could say that you're glad that she was able to confide in you. Out of respect, you won't raise the subject again, unless she does. Not because you don't care, but you know how difficult it is to talk about. But you're here whenever/if ever.

Even as a grown up, you feel totally ashamed (logically, the only people who should be ashamed are the perpetrators, and although you know that, it doesn't stop you feeling ashamed). That's a part of what makes it so difficult to talk about. I wouldn't want to discuss it at all on anyone else's terms but my own, and suspect most people would feel that way.

It makes me so angry and sick how people can do this to children. I hate nobody more than paedophiles. I'm so sorry this happened to your family members.