Could she have been murdered

[Streamofconsciousnesss]

This is a sad and strange one and not recent. Please be gentle, I would like to hear your opinion.
I can't shake off the idea that this lady I knew was murdered by her husband.

Let's call her Mary. She was married to Alan for many decades, they were happy, prosperous and enjoying their retirement. Mary wholly was devoted to Alan and to her DCs, now grown ups, and to her GDCs. Her family was her world. Her house was her pride and joy, the backdrop of all family Christmases, summer holidays, engagements, weddings, christening, etc. Mary is active and engaged in the local community.
Sadly Alan passes away very suddenly, Mary's world utterly collapses. Her only comfort are her DCs and GDCs and visiting Alan's grave several times a day.
A few months later, to the surprise of absolutely everyone, Mary announces that she has met and is engaged to a man that no one has ever heard of, Tom, they marry within the year. Her children are shocked, but also, in spite of their shock, understanding; Mary seems to be happy. I meet Tom at her wedding, a funny little man, not a patch on Alan, but Mary is happy. Soon, another surprise, she sells her house and moves to a different part of the country with Tom, and buys a very nice house there. Very strange. Things have hardly settled that Mary is diagnosed with a terminal illness, and dies within just a few months. Just an unbelievable set of events, everyone is shocked and very sad. I go to Mary's funeral and there, the second I am greeted by Alan, this thought comes to my mind, from absolutely nowhere: 'You've killed her, haven't you.' This is kind of thought that you are supposed to dismiss, so I do, of course. Anyway, the situation is sad enough without crazy thoughts.
A little time passes, and then it turns out that Mary had altered her will to leave everything, house and money to Tom and nothing at all to her DCs and GDs. Her DCs, distraught by the deaths of both their parents in less than 2 years, try to fight this to the best of their abilities, but get nowhere. It's so out of character for Mary not to have wanted to look after her own family, there's no explanation for it. Tom makes off with everything and is now very hostile to Mary's family.
As if that wasn't enough, Tom gets married again, just a year later. No idea what happened to him since.

I mean, what the heck. Thank you if you've read so far. Seeing it written down actually convinces me even more that Mary was targeted and killed for her money. This is quite a few years ago but I can't shake that thought. I can't bear to imagine Mary's final months if this is true. What do you think?

I am so sorry @BadNomad apologies!!!

This was fo @Glorified

Nothing suggests murder to me either.

In a way, it reminds me of those threads where a poster vehemently blames a SIL or BIL for their sibling’s behaviour (no longer attending family occasions, forgetting children’s birthdays) and it’s clearly because it’s easier to blame the spouse for distancing the sibling from the family than to recognise that the sibling is in fact responsible for his/her own choices (assuming non-abusive/coercive relationship).

It’s clearly easier for the OP to think of Mary as having been conned, coerced into disinheriting her children and then murdered by Tom than to think she freely made the decision to disinherit her children in favour of her second husband.

You're right, I have nothing more than speculations. I knew her for years, but we weren't intimate. No one knows what goes on inside a marriage.
Still I know her DCs quite well, they wouldn't have questioned their mother's will if it had seemed consistent with her character or the wishes she'd expressed to them. They were hurt by the whole thing and only shared outlines, what they couldn't bear to keep in. The matter was only discussed once and has been closed for a long time.
Of course Mary was entitled to dispose of her house and money as she saw fit. If leaving everything that Alan and her had worked for, all their lives, to a husband of 2 years -who incidentally, steams through marriages- versus her beloved DCs and GDCs seems perfectly logical to you, you're entitled to your opinion. And her DCs, and I (for the purpose of this thread) who knew her, are entitled to ours.

Seems that you have 2 user names running in this thread @Streamofconsciousnesss and @CressidaV ?

There's nothing vehement in my thread other than defending the good character and loving relationships of everyone involved. Can't work out what reminds you of dysfunctional families. And it's no skin off my nose, as I would have been gobsmacked if I had been included in any way in Mary's will.
The only one who behaved like a shit was Tom, but then it only started after the succession came through. Makes me think about the series of events from a different perspective.

That's right, well spotted. And?

Thank you, it does help.

No, I have not. It's seems like overstepping based on thoughts and feelings from a distance, if there is validity in it then it would have occurred to her DCs to do so? I really don't know where I stand with it all.
At some point they have moved her from her original burial spot to a lovely grave with their father, so they must have felt strongly about her being wrong in some way. Can't have been a decision taken lightly or undertaken with any glee.

Just trying to be helpful to you not sure why you are so hostile to me?

@Streamofconsciousnesss I'm not and didn't say it was fair, just that it was the law and not much anyone can do about it. The Will was not challengeable under the Inheritance act so there is no point speculating, let alone talking about murder. I didn't say it was fair or logical, but unless the Will was forged there is not much anyone can do. Apply for a copy of the Will.

The will really is none of my business, I will not request a copy. As i said upthread it was challenged and the succession subsequently modified. Why are you so obsessed with the will and the succession, they're only relevant in that they sit in total opposition to whom this woman was. That's why I do speculate.

It's probably time to wrap this thread up. Thank you very much to all the posters who have shared their thoughts, it's been interesting to me to read your different takes on this.

How did her DCs get permission to exhume her body from Tom if he was hostile to them after they challenged her will?

Also would her new married surname be on this new grave?

1/ I don't know. Maybe he felt they could 'have her' since he got everything else and he'd moved on and got remarried.
2/No it's not.

You’re completely misreading my post. The comparison was nothing to do with ‘dysfunctional families’, or vehemence, but to point out that it’s easier to blame a coercive third party for behaviours we don’t like or don’t understand in a loved one.

You clearly find the pattern of behaviour exhibited by your friend after she was widowed, that culminated in her disinheriting her children in favour of a brief second marriage to someone you didn’t think measured up to her first husband, incomprehensible and out of character to the point where you’ve invented on no evidence an alternative scenario — because the alternative would be recognising that Mary, the person you loved, made these choices of her own free will.

@Streamofconsciousnesss I'm obsessed with the will (which you now say is genuine) because if you are speculating on there being a crime committed, the will is the 'motive' you need to commit a crime. Dr shipmans crimes came to light because he tried to forge a will.

Surely any forgery would have already come to light in the messy legal challenge of the will?

You've completely misunderstood or are twisting everything. You misquote yourself and take things I've written to prove the opposite of what they mean. You're making up things and then try to be insulting as well.
But thank you so much for your thoughts!

I had no close emotional bond with Mary that would taint my judgement and no game in how she lead her life, please go away with the psychology for dummies.

Oh I see, sorry. I really don't know but I don't think there was anything suspicious about the document itself, if there was, I don't think her DCs would have had the stomach to discuss it outside of their solicitor's office, or not with me anyway.
But there are ways to coerce or get a result that are not as crude as forging a document. I don't know the exact details, but Dr Shipman was not married to his victims so that was the only way for him.

@username8888 I never said the will was not genuine.

I. never. said. the. will. was. not. genuine.

After a while people just make things up rather than read a thread further the discussion.