Abusive ex partner is controlling.

[Teddybear84]

Hi I'm new to all this. My ex partner is a nightmare. We have a 4yo child and he uses him as a weapon. Makes my life a misery and still controls me even tho I left him moved out of my house! A year ago. I'm thinking of making a complaint to the police but I'm afraid of what he'll do as he's very clever and a manipulator.

What kind of thing is he doing ?

Was with him 14 years. Although he was controlling and aggressive. Was all emotional abuse. Made me feel guilty for everything that went wrong. Didn't want to be with him since my son was born but he always made me feel bad for wanting to leave. Since I left him I've moved on and met a lovely guy. He's made all kind of threats towards me by email as he hasn't got my number just my partners in case of an emergency when he has my son. Constantly trying to humiliate me and make me look like a bad mother.

Hopefully he'll calm down when he gets a new gf

Keep the emails whatever you do it's evidence

Has had a new g/f for a while. Has even moved her into my house which I'm still paying half the mortgage on. My lender says if i stop paying it I could end up with bad credit. I want the equity out but he won't agree to sell it. I had to leave bc of his behaviour and none of my family believed me. Have a court order so he can't come to my house for handover and his parents are supposed to do it but he sits in the car outside just to intimidate me. I called the police after a particular nasty handover at my old house before the court order and they warned him but he denied it and said I was making it all up.

If he parks outside again can you photograph/ video him as proof ?

If the court order says his parents are suppose to do it - yet he's outside in the car - you need to get a picture / video of it and file back to court because they and him are in breach of it.

Is there no way you can sell the house or get him to buy you out of it as it seems silly you are paying for a mortgage when you're not living there. Maybe seek legal advice.

He cannot control you anymore.
Keep all emails, texts etc
Don't tell him anything. And if you have to read the emails is there anyway your new partner could and then just reply on your behalf to the email of a reply is actually needed to take the stress away from you for a while

You'll have to apply to the Court for an Order for Sale. There's no alternative really.

@Singlenotsingle My son lives in my old house when he has contact. He insisted on the court order saying specifically that he "lived with him " my solicitor didn't make me aware of the consequences of that statement. I've found out that bc it says live with he doesn't need my permission to take my son out of the country on holiday nor does he need to inform me. Unless it's over 30 days. So I'm assuming that he may say the house can't be sold bc my son lives with him as well? My solicitor says I may have to wait until he decides to move out which now his g/f lives there as well he may not. He was willing to sell before they met. It feels hopeless

I'd get a better solicitor !

@FinallyFree123456789 Yes my fiancé is amazing. My ex doesn't have my number which he hates but has my partners which he knows so he doesn't text or call. He'd only use the number if it was for 999. I've spoken to a domestic abuse charity today and they've said to block his email and use my fiancé's but we've created a new email altogether instead as my ex always plays the victim card in front of people and has already complained when he thinks my fiancé is involved with emails etc as he wants to only deal with me all the time. I can't believe I put up with it for so long!! This is the second solicitor I've had and they all seem to be on another planet and I've spent 5k so far which is nuts.