Feel free to rip this apart. I'm not precious.

[AliceScarlett]

I'd appreciate some feedback if anyone had the time and inclination. I've never written fiction before and I'm approaching it as I would with any skill. I want to learn and practice. Like swimming or something.

This is the 3rd paragraph, I'm trying to introduce my protagonist in her natural setting.

I'd appreciate feedback on tense if possible too. I don't know how to keep writing in the past tense :/

"I stacked the plates in the dishwasher, placed a clean mug on the worktop and flicked the switch on the cheapest kettle available on Prime. Two months ago I had discovered minimalism during aimlessly browsing for podcasts to be absorbed in. With the usual vigour that overtook me when I decided a particular ideology would be the key to my salvation I threw away a large proportion of my possessions, including the toaster. Why buy, clean and maintain a commodity that capitalism tells you you need? They said. So I did. Keen to rise above the socially constructed consumerism that lied to me about how possessions would fill my emptiness. As a result I couldn’t leave the toast under the grill unattended as it would set the fire alarm off, and apparently increase my risk of cancer. I decided to risk it for a minute, put two slices of Tesco Wholemeal Medium bread on the wire-rack and walked towards my phone simultaneously pushing out of my mind the image of the tin-foil underneath the grill-pan, saturated with crumbs."

@BlueTrampolines Ummm not even thought about it!

Couldn't you say, "I went into the kitchen and started to clear up" (for example) rather than listing every single thing she does?

And why 'clean' cup? Surely you'd only need an adjective if something unusual had happened, eg "I fetched my mug from the living room. It was still half full of vodka, so I drank it quickly and made coffee."

When she sees her kitchen, the cheap kettle, the mess etc, how does she feel? Depressed?

I'm neither a writer, and editor or a proofreader - I'm also foreigner and English is not my native language, so I'm probably very unqualified to comment.

With that caveat, I would say that I like the way you painted a vivid picture of the situation, but (like a PP) I had to read a couple of sentences a few times.

I think you're missing a lot of punctuation that would make it more fluid.

The cover is the last thing to be considered!

Holy shitballs the amount of mistakes on my post!

The irony...

*Holy

I give up

OP, think of this being read aloud on the radio or as an audio book. I know what you mean about your character - you want to show her as a bit off beat and someone who's deeper than a lot of main characters. But the reader couldn't care less what kind of bread it is - I think we like a mixture of detail and broad brushstrokes, but be careful with the detail that it doesn't get boring.

Hollow

That is your opinion. I was interested to know.

When you talk about this unusual energy she has (I wondered about bi-polar, then) I think you should try to show this rather than just tell us about it.

So for example she could be packing up her stuff to throw away/send to Oxfam and tell a friend that she has too much, that she can't focus when there are too many things around. And that she's wasted so much money, being sucked into consumerism, when she really should be spending that on things that make her free. Or something!

She bins the toaster but keeps the dishwasher?

It's not just my opinion, @bluetrampolines. My books are published and I know where the design of the cover comes in the process.

"I stacked the plates in the dishwasher, placed a clean mug on the worktop (you're either doing one thing or the other) and flicked the switch on the cheapest kettle available on Prime (Prime and cheapest not good. Her 'ancient kettle or her rudimentary kettle, if it's relevant). Two months ago I had discovered minimalism during (while) aimlessly browsing for podcasts to be absorbed in (to absorb me - why?). With the usual vigour that overtook me when I decided a particular ideology would be the key to my salvation I threw away a large proportion of my possessions, including the toaster. Why buy, clean and maintain a commodity that capitalism tells you you need? They said. So I did. Keen to rise above the socially constructed consumerism that lied to me about how possessions would fill my emptiness. As a result I couldn’t leave the toast under the grill unattended (you were stacking the dishwasher? ) as it would set the fire alarm off, and apparently increase my risk of cancer. I decided to risk it for a minute, put two slices of Tesco Wholemeal Medium bread (don't mention brand) on the wire-rack and walked towards my phone simultaneously pushing out of my mind the image of the tin-foil underneath the grill-pan, saturated (saturated is wet, not crumbs) with crumbs."

I quite liked the Tesco wholemeal detail when describing the bread. I thought it contrasted nicely with the main character being swept up in the minimalist ideal of not having a toaster just because society tells her she should against the fact she buys her groceries at Tesco.

Hi alice
I'm a fiction editor. Off the top of my head, here's what I might suggest:

"I stacked the plates in the dishwasher, placed a clean mug on the worktop and flicked the switch on the world's cheapest kettle. Two months ago I had discovered minimalism while aimlessly browsing for new podcasts. With the usual honeymoon zeal that overtook me when I chose a particular ideology as the key to my salvation, I'd thrown away most of my possessions, including the toaster. 'Why buy, clean and maintain something just because capitalism says you must?' they said. So, keen to rise above the socially constructed consumerism that lied about how possessions would fill my emptiness, I'd hired a skip. And now I couldn’t leave the toast under the grill unattended as it would set the fire alarm off, not to mention giving me cancer. Nevertheless, I decided to risk it for a minute, put two slices of cheap wholemeal bread on the wire rack, and walked towards my phone, trying to forget the sight of the tinfoil underneath the grill pan, saturated with hard black crumbs."

It's a bit all over the place, not sure whether she's making tea, stacking dishwasher or making toast. One sentence could replace that. E.g below (note, not a writer)

"As a result of a frivolous notion to rid myself of all my worldly possessions on the advice of a youtube guru, I now found myself attempting to grill toast rather than having the most basic of non-necessary consumer items - a toaster!"

I think it is over-written and sounds pretentious to the point of satire, I'm afraid. I had to read it numerous times before it made any sort of sense. Cut out the unnecessary details and the florid language. The sociological stuff sits oddly- can you find another way of getting this across?

@JeannePoole Wow! Thats amazing! How did you even do that. Love it.

@Dhapeer Thank-You. You've picked up on things I have not noticed there.

@undeecided Yeah because you can do toast under the grill, but dishes wont wash themselves.

@Hollowtalk *Holy Moly

DH just gave me his opinion! I feel a embarrassed for being so pretentious now. But it is good that I'm finding this out in week one. Can you imagine if I had written 20000 words like this?!

@Dhapeer ""As a result of a frivolous notion to rid myself of all my worldly possessions on the advice of a youtube guru, I now found myself attempting to grill toast rather than having the most basic of non-necessary consumer items - a toaster!" Nice. Easy. Simple. I can see where I'm going wrong.

@Mightybanhammer Well that is because it is overwritten and pretentious!
I'm not currently able to get some of things I want to say across without sounding like a twat.
Maybe I'm trying to rush this and a paragraph or two showing how she lives as a minimalist is better than shoving it all in a sentence or two.

Alice erm ... practice, I guess!

Bare in mind it's easier for us to edit than for you to write. Don't be disheartened.

Before I write a scene I make a note of what I want the reader to know - I break it into what's physically happening and what the character feels.

Then I try to show the reader what's happening rather than just telling them about it. Sometimes you have to do that but eg if someone is a bit mean with money, it's far better to show them being mean to someone rather than just have them say, "I'm careful with my money."

Sorry. It's been a tough weekend. And well done for your books. I was/am just interested.

I think what I'm going to do is write a few more paragraphs, ban the thesaurus, wrestle the ego to the ground and tie it up, then show in more detail what I'm trying to achieve rather than tell.

You've used two hundred words to describe what you could have said in 50. I think there's a lot of extraneous details in there you could really lose. I have to be honest I wouldn't read on if this was a sample id downloaded as I hate wafflers!