Ireland is a hard place to live

[Mooshamoo]

Just watching the video of the black child being not given a medal by Irish gymnastics.

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here on craicnet, who is not Irish, living in Ireland. What your experiences are.

I think that Ireland can be a very hard place to live if you are not fully white and fully irish.

I'm half Irish. I was bullied all the way through school for not having an Irish surname. Then when I grew up and lived in the same small town, all of the same girls from my school were living in that town. And as adults they refused to talk to me.

I see the women who are fully Irish, being popular , having great lives.

To be totally acceptable and popular in ireland, you have to have a rich family, brothers/father who play gaa etc.

All the rich girls in my school hung around together. And again as adults all the rich Irish women hung around together in small town Ireland.

If you were foreign, from a single parent family, seen as poor, you were not accepted at all.

And it's who you know

I think this makes Ireland a very difficult place to live

@Frankinbeans Unfortunately there are extremely thick and obnoxious people among us. I would have nothing to do with her.

I got a very strange reception when I worked as a teacher years ago in a small Co. Cork town which will remain nameless. I wasn't one of them and the students gave me a very hard time, more than what is usual for a substitute teacher.

Last week I was told I was a blow-in in my own town (the town I live in) and I've been here for more than twenty years. I'm from Cork City. It was all jokey and it didn't bother me as such, but I may have inwardly rolled my eyes. There is an insularity in the mindset of certain Irish people, usually among those who haven't moved off their own patch or who haven't mixed much with other people outside their immediate circle. I think it's better than it was, however. I hope!

As Mrs Doyle says. A load of lads kicking a ball around a field!

There is definitely xenophobia and racism in Ireland. I’m as Irish as they get (my last name premarraiage was as Irish as they come- no links to gaa though- I wish!!! ) and there’s times I want to bash people’s heads together- two of my mum friends are from different countries and people took so long to start including them and that was literally because they pushed to be included, both were so friendly the Irish had nowhere to hide! I definitely see is getting better, more inclusive, more welcoming and I hope you experience this better side sometime soon x Hope your mum’s ok too

Ps op I remember as a child walking into a pub with my family for dinner when we were down to visit my granny In hospital but not anywhere near where she, or we lived. The whole room shut up when we walked in. Same in the local shop. I remember my dad laughing about how shocked we were after. He said ‘they don’t like dubs around here, get used to it!’

Thanks for sharing that you have seen racism and xenophobia in Ireland.

There is a LOT of it that goes on.

I have been in so many groups, where I see the white local people all sticking together, and anyone that is the wrong colour/ wrong nationality is excluded.

Ive heard so much from people about "fucking foreigners" and I have seen people in Ireland talk to foreigners like they are sub human.

It's not a nice mentality.

I do think people do it because it gives them a sense of superiority.

One man said to me the other day "there's jobs that Irish people won't do, it's just beneath them. The foreigners will do those jobs".

:(

I'm Irish but have immigrant parents. Let me tell you I got my teeth kicked in every day at school for 12 years. It was hell.

Ireland is still a racist little country no matter how woke people want to appear.

I have a tendency to agree.

We've been living in England for a few years and returned home to Ireland.

My gorgeous little DD aged 10 has been getting dogs abuse on the bus to our lovely village primary school - because she has an English accent. I'm irish, she is irish, but she is a laid, she's ENGLISH and she stole the land apparently and therefore is a rat. Efeyihe in the bus lets this shit rain on her. She is a really sweet kid and timidly declared back "I don't care" to which they replied ..."about you! We don't care about you!" Bunch of nasty little pricks.

Yet let's all rave about how welcoming we are. Stupid hostilities with the UK and English people prevail. And look how we treat the travellers. Magic lot we are.

6 months ago I would have said its just a blind spot against the brits but the riots proved that isn't so

@twoforj0y i am so so sorry to hear this. Your poor little one - that is just disgusting what she has to go through. Can you have a word with the parents of these kids to let them know their darling ones are little racist bullies?

sadly, my English born and raised kids had similar nasty comments about their accents when we moved to Ireland. Like your strong wonderful daughter, they stood up against the bullies. But over time it does wear you down.

I agree with you that the perception that we are a “welcoming nation” is not correct - maybe if you are white, a “pure Irish” and have connections (have never seen a place where nepotism is no rampant) then it is easier, but I have witnessed first hand (against myself , my kids and husband) the side that isn’t so welcoming if you don’t fit the square peg.

i hope things get better for you @twoforj0y and your little girl.

Have just spent the weekend in Ireland. Met up with three different sets of people, two of whom took the piss out of my English accent. I remembered how relieved I was to leave fourteen years ago. It was bloody constant. It’s true that the British behaved appallingly, but I was on eggshells all the time trying not to say the wrong thing. I could never live there again. I’m not in a rush to visit again, frankly.

Yes. My kids got this too. They were bullied for being English. I’m so sorry about your little girl, twoforjoy

I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm surprised by it tbh. English accents are fairly run of the mill here.

Regarding anti English bias, I think that’s probably more likely in a small town and I think , like lots of small towns, Irish ones aren’t always necessarily welcoming to new people or tolerant of any differences.
We live in a city so different accents are ten a penny so your English accent wouldn’t stand out.

I live in a small town , pop 1500. I'm not sure if that includes the asylum seekers of whom there are 200 or so?

Anyway loads of different accents including quite a few English. In fact an English woman set up our Irish language comhrá. No problems apart from the odd nuisance wind ups. Kids might struggle a bit at first? I certainly got abuse when I attended school in England. But that should fade away post GFA. If the nutters don't wreck it. Brexit has NOT helped Anglo- Irish relations alas.

Depends on the small town. Skibbereen (population about 2900) is Ireland’s most British town by numbers of residents, and Brits are the second largest foreign ethnic group in Ireland after Poles, so it’s not like they’re rarities. Mind you, neither are Irish people in England, and I got regular abuse over decades, so it’s not like ordinariness necessarily helps.

Your comment on breastfeeding sounds strange to my ears. Was preggers with sprog in early noughties. On my very first consultant visit in an Irish hospital, I was asked if I had thought about breastfeeding. It was about the time the WHO were encouraging exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months, and continue to supplement after that. The benefits were all shared with me. When I had my baby, the hospital had a breastfeeding consultant who led a breastfeeding group at the hospital, and then gave details for a similar group when I went home. It was all rather zealously pro breastfeeding.

When I brought sprog over to join family in England, there was a health visitor who came to my home. When I said I was exclusively breastfeeding, she made remarks about how some communities were still really into that. It was said in such a way that the only inference was that we were backward and hadn’t caught up with the 1950’s rage for bottle fed formula. It was quite bizarre considering the push for breastfeeding from my experience in Ireland. I don’t think she was at all aware about the Scandinavian countries high rates of breastfeeding. It felt as if she was not up to date with the whole WHO endeavour. I would have thought it would have been part of her job to keep abreast of such current campaigns. Maybe it was that particular health visitor. I certainly hope so.

Forgot to link the post I was responding to: @Upsetrethis

“I think Ireland has an huge obesity problem and I swear to God breastfeeding seems to be extinct here , it’s so so weird , no one breastfeeds. I’ve lived abroad and it was much healthier re breastfeeding, food etc.”

Interesting re bfing, I had mine in 2011 and there was next to no support! But I had a birth injury and was a complete hermit, so I probably missed out on whatever was there.

Breastfeeding was very much encouraged in Ireland when I had my kids twenty odd years ago.

It's gone from pillar to post afaik, I had an older friend and she was actively discouraged in her day. It was bizarre tbh.

Yes, I think many western countries had gone the way of formula. That is why there was the push to aid mothers who want to to breastfeed. I presume the drive was to give support as there may have been a dearth of experience and knowledge from the previous generation or two of mothers who had mainly bottle fed. I don’t know if these support programmes are still in place.

I have older cousins who have breastfed. More recently, I have a SIL who has breastfed, and also SILs who have bottle fed.

The Scandinavian countries have quite high rates of breastfeeding, and also still breastfed a few months along. The long period of well paid parental leave may impact that. State aid with childcare etc. There are probably many factors which affect it.

Sadly I agree. We visit my parents very regularly in the west of ireland. When we go to the small village my brother, his wife & kids make no effort to meet up with their cousins (my kids) the same age. They know we are coming in advance & my poor kids are so excited to see their cousins but the cousins are just hanging around with their friends & snigger at my city kids. It's hurt & upset me so much in the past but now we just focus fully on my parents.
There is a very wierd insular vibe in the village where I grew up, I'm so happy I am not raising my kids there, they have a deep distrust & disrespect for anyone not born on their turf..

Caitriona Clear has done research in the decline of breastfeeding in 20thc Ireland. I know I heard her present it years and years ago, but it’s vague in my head now — from what I remember, formula was viewed by farm women as liberating them to do necessary farm work while someone unable to do that (elderly relative living with them, older child etc) could formula feed the baby. It enabled more flexibility.

We're in the west also, but not a village. Our experience has been totally different. We came here as outsiders and we've not had a problem. I did grow up here, but H and DD didn't. They've gotten on really well I don't leave the house (long story) but they're flying altogether.

Breastfeeding was actively encouraged when I had my babies in the mid - late 90's and is still encouraged.