Ireland is a hard place to live

[Mooshamoo]

Just watching the video of the black child being not given a medal by Irish gymnastics.

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here on craicnet, who is not Irish, living in Ireland. What your experiences are.

I think that Ireland can be a very hard place to live if you are not fully white and fully irish.

I'm half Irish. I was bullied all the way through school for not having an Irish surname. Then when I grew up and lived in the same small town, all of the same girls from my school were living in that town. And as adults they refused to talk to me.

I see the women who are fully Irish, being popular , having great lives.

To be totally acceptable and popular in ireland, you have to have a rich family, brothers/father who play gaa etc.

All the rich girls in my school hung around together. And again as adults all the rich Irish women hung around together in small town Ireland.

If you were foreign, from a single parent family, seen as poor, you were not accepted at all.

And it's who you know

I think this makes Ireland a very difficult place to live

I think there needs to be anti racism training in every school and workplace in Ireland.

Last year I worked in a remote job in Ireland. The head office of the company was in England. When I started the job, the first thing that I had to complete online was an anti racism module.

I've never been asked to complete anti racism training in jobs in Ireland.

This would be a great initiative to start.

Also anti racism training needs to be brought into all sports in Ireland. I believe Irish gymnastics have now said that they are going to do this.

You see I think that this sort of stuff is just money-making bollocks really. It's 2023 ffs, do you think that nobody knew it wasn't right to leave a black girl without her medal that if only they had had anti racism training it would never have happened? That sort of stuff is mealy-mouthed sticking plaster nonsense that leaves people patting themselves on the back for being so inclusive without actually changing anything at all. Btw my kids secondary school and I presume pretty much every secondary school has a whole anti-racism week. I don't know what type of school your kids go to but this sort of thing is standard.

I don't have children. I decided not to have them because I don't want them to go through the same thing I did: which would be : your mother is not Irish etc.

I remember the abuse and trauma I went through as a child in Ireland and I don't want to put my child through that.

And before anyone tells me to leave Ireland again. I can't, for many reasons right now, I can't.

I was just talking to my friend who has moved home from Australia, she is also personally finding it very hard to settle back in and live in ireland. But her father is dying , he only has a few years left to live, and she wants to be with him for his last two years

Ok how many times have you mentioned me since I last posted @Mooshamoo?

Even digging up years old posts, but ok, that's part of being on a public forum. As far as I remember that thread was about Soldier F and prosecutions for events that took place during the Troubles. The British government, and some elements of the British public, were standing fully in support of a man who murdered innocent people, including teenagers who were running away in the opposite direction. I think that's appalling and I stand by that.

None of this means I hate British people by the way, which I think is what you're trying to portray. I think it's unfortunate that the government at the time stoked up some very unpleasant sentiment, which also tied in with Brexit. I also think it's a shame there isn't better education around those issues but I believe that's changing. There are many well informed British people too.

Don't you think those same elements that stoked up anti Irish sentiment may just be responsible for the same type of racism you're posting about? They're not exactly being welcoming to refugees, are they?

I'm so confused. I thought you keep insisting this thread is about racism and what we can do about it? Why are you talking about your mate finding it hard to settle back into Ireland? Of course moving is hard, uprooting your life is hard, especially coming 'home' sometimes when you realise everyone has moved on without you. I don't know what that has to do with anything though? This sort of thing is why people think you have some kind of agenda with your posts because it isn't relative to anything at all, unless you are trying to say your Irish friend is suffering from racism because she moved to Australia for a few years?

It is relevant.If you go back and read the thread. My point about my australian friend is nothing to do with racism - it is to do with the point of why people cant just leave ireland , even if they want to .

Àt the start of the thread, i said that I cant currently leave ireland, because I am caring for a close relative that just had a heart attack. And there are other reasons why I can't leave ireland.

I was then asked about 5-6 times, why don't I just leave Ireland.

I'm using the example of my Australian friend, to reiterate that point. She also does not want to be In Ireland, if it was her own choice, but she has to be here to care for a dying relative.

Sorry I presumed because you kept repeating things like the bolded below that you wanted a discussion about racism in Ireland. But then when someone engages you change the topic to my mate says she's finding it difficult to settle in back home(like everyone that has ever moved anywhere) and your favourite topic, you. My mistake

What are your thoughts on dealing with racism in Ireland? I don't think that people should just have to deal with it.

I also see that there are huge, huge problems with racism in Ireland. And according to many sources, independent studies etc, the racism problem has reached a level of huge problems in Ireland.It is important to talk about how we can improve it

The surveys on racism in Ireland provided by aboutamum. I'd be interested to hear your response

What are your thoughts on the post that aboutamum posted, talking about surveys about racism in Ireland. She specifically tagged you in it

Jesus christ. Try to read the thread. I believe in you. You can do it. Go on.

This thread is about racism.

Ive been told to just leave ireland. In this thread several times.

In response to that, I said I can't leave Ireland as I am caring for a relative. And that people can't leave Ireland if they want to.

I've been told to just leave ireland by other people . In me replying to those people, saying that I can't, you said that I've changed the topic from racism .

Even though I replied to a point made by someone else.

Your posts are odd.

"My favourite topic is me." Thanks for that. I've just been in hospital most of the last three weeks caring for someone else. Not that you'd give a shit. Your lack of empathy resounds out of every one of your posts. I haven't thought about myself in weeks.

Sorry, what a thread!

Anyway, it's interesting as I'm a blow in returnee. Irish through and through, with one child born in England and one in Ireland.

The whole "blow in" thing. Explain it someone please!

I'm in a really old style part of Ireland. In a spot without an actual village, but loads of community. Everyone knows my house by the not most recent but owner before them surname. As in, oh you're in o'reillys! and will tell me they know everything about where I live like an authority on it. Fair to say it's pretty tribal!

I'm from Dublin though. No blood ties to this place. I really like it here, but I don't want to be scooped up any further by the community. I'm as involved as I want, if anything I'm holding an invisible line to privacy up.

I just don't get the blow in thing. I am fine with being held at some virtual arms length - I hold myself at one, in a way. My kids are in the local school, I'm in a local club, it's just life, normal.

Does this blow in thing mean anything??

I think it'd be a good idea if people just stopped answering the op. She's entitled to her opinion and seems to have an abundance of time to enforce it. I think someone suggested the op tried counselling and it would appear to be a good idea, living somewhere you dislike so much that you will take to Mumsnet and argue with others about it for such a length about it seems unhealthy and unhelpful for the op's mental health.

I wonder can we have any thread on Mumsnet where the OP is not told to go get her mental health checked.

Not just me. I see so many OP's on here being told to get counselling, get their mental health checked. It's very odd.

It seems like a particular, bitchy thing that happens over and over on Mumsnet.

I was looking at another forum where men post about problems. I looked at lots of threads. When a man posts about a problem, no man on any of those threads tells the man to get his mental health checked.

Yet here on Mumsnet you see it on so many threads.

A woman will post about a bitchy co worker for example.

Instantly you'll get about ten posters telling the woman that she has an anxiety disorders, that she needs counselling, that she needs to get her mental health checked.

It's a particular kind of psychological bullying that women do to other women on here . Not just to me. To so many women.

I have lived within a few miles of connemara for most of my life. My father is a native speaker from beyond Spiddal. So i've paid my dues. But i went to spiddal one day to be an extra on a tv show and i got side eyed from randomers on the road! They actually slowed their cars! I look normal, no different to anyone else that might be in spiddal. They have a 6th sense!

Sure. It's everyone else that is the problem huh? I made tons of suggestions of things you could do to engage with your local community, I took your post at face value and offered advice. You've ignored those posts, you ignored my posts giving my experience of being English in Ireland, You've ignored conversation about what can be done to fix racism in Ireland.

You've turned everything around to how shitty your shitty life is and the lives of every one you talk to that isnt a popular Irish GAA hun, like we get it your life is and always has been shit but there is nothing you've done to cause it and certainly nothing you can do to fix it. Poor mooshamoo 😭😭

Anyway I'm going to take the advice and not engage with you anymore. Enjoy Ireland 🇮🇪 😀

Thank god you're going. Jesus Your posts are absolutely disgusting. What a way to talk to me when I've said I've just been in hospital for three weeks caring for a sick relative. That tells me everything I need to know about you. Foul posts. Thank god your going.

Poor @SnowflakeCity 😭😭

Did you grow up in an Irish speaking part of ireland @Chickenkeev

Theoretically i did yes, but in practise it was English speaking. Irish speakers were 20 mins out the road. My family were (on dads side) all irish speakers, they spoke irish over and around us, but that was bc they were rude fuckers. There's no accounting for a holes. My manc family loved connemara and nobody expected them to speak irish or treated them badly for not having it.

@Mooshamoo it's clear you're really struggling, and that's awful altogether. I'm struggling also, for different reasons. But the more you dig in and hate the place the worse you'll feel. There are loads of English people (and loads of other non Irish) around so you should be able to mix outside of GAA circles easily enough. Depending on your caring responsibilities of course. We'll always be there to lift you up. Seriously, it might not be quite where you want to be right now, but dip a toe into the community and they'll surprise you.

Thanks!

It must have been an interesting and beautiful place to grow up.

And sorry to hear you're struggling. Mumsnet can be a good place to chat.

Where i was, it was just a suburb built in the 90s. It was grand, fairly boring, but i was a boring kid so all good. But beside the woods, the sea, and the gaeltacht. So i consider myself lucky (despite an awful nuns school and violent alcoholic father). But i joke about it now, cos what else is there to do? No point crying over spilled milk etc. Went back to Dublin for 20 years, had my daughter in the interim and a mental breakdown, and ended up back in Galway. And it's fantastic. It's calm. And diverse. And arty. And small enough to get around for someone with one and a half functioning legs.

I heard a really great story a while ago that inspired me. It might be useful for you to hear it.

I went on a yoga weekend retreat, and there was a mediation class. And it was kind of a class where everyone was talking about their problems in life. And were encouraged to share. A lot of people had alcoholic parents. .

The man teaching the class was so serene and nice and kind. You'd think he never had any issues in life at all.

Then he said he was going to share something with the class. He said he'd had a terrible alcoholic dad. His dad was awful and used to beat him up.

And this yoga teacher fella then grew up and he said in his twenties he was a total mess , doing drugs, life was a mess.

Then he started meditating and yoga and he began to realise that his father was suffering and it had nothing to do with him - the child. And the yoga teacher got his life together and went on to achieve really great things. Good career good marriage. He said you have to look at those alcoholic people like they are suffering. It was quite interesting. I know it's just a small story, but it was interesting to hear