Spring shenanigans, frugal mischief, Maypole antics, garden faffing, bargain binges, picnic pandemonium, Spaniel loving and Bank Holiday mayhem 😁

[DirtyGertiefromno30]

Welcome everyone, new and old to our lovely supportive frugal thread .

Thanks for the kind wishes. The funeral and wake all went to plan and I enjoyed catching up with some cousins and nephews I hadn't seen for years . I read a poem that DM chose and felt I did her proud. It's getting harder now to be honest as my DB is still living in DMs house and I think is maneuvering to stay put, using elder dsis as his mouth piece. I'll see how the land lies tomorrow. Will be pleased to get back to work and normal tbh. Although I am off again next week for half term and DDs birthday.

Today I spent at the tip, selling things, strimming the garden and organising my new wardrobe plan. Sold a Reiss jacket on Vinted for £15. Think I bought it from eBay for £10 in 2014 and wore it once! I'm going to keep selling until I have enough to buy clothes that actually suit and fit me.

I also redirected my AVCs on the advice of the IFA and he's invested a small sum for us. So other than setting up the LPAs (I know, I know, I need to 🫣) I'm hoping that pension plan just ticks along for the next 5 to 9 years without me really worrying about it.

Hope the DHs have been brought into line now! Seriously though, good they are having reasonable conversations. My DH drives me insane, yet today, he's been brilliantly supportive about the family situation. So he's in the good books...for now.

Pleased your DD is okay @Frugal25 the Elderflower fizz sounds fab!

Oh yes spends...
£6.45 coop
£8.57 coop
£7.20 Amazon for posting bags
£7.20 Tik Tok shop for DDs birthday
£3.45 snapfish for photos for my gallery wall project.

Been skimming thread while getting my head around my own financial maneouverings since payday. Now I am straightened out! Won't offload all details but basically I have transferred into all pots, secured refunds against purchases I don't want to keep, paid the credit card purchases I made last month (theatre tickets and train tickets), sorted some work that needs doing at the flat and generally got myself organised. I have cancelled 4 subscriptions, 3 of which were trials not worth keeping.

I have set aside money to pay for DS's birthday present and DSIL's present (off to Canary Wharf today to get it). I have about £90 per week in my guilt free spend budget to go until the next payday. I have just booked a table for two set menu at Flesh and Buns (Japanese food! sounds a bit louche) for pre-theatre dinner with DS for Friday, and that will likely take around £70 with drinks, which leaves me £20 until next Wednesday when my next budget kicks in. I don't suppose I have to be absolutely rigid about this, but I want to avoid blowing all my fun money at the beginning of the month and then twiddling my thumbs for the rest of it!

Cheap thrills this weekend: learning new AI skills (from a Substack newsletter - better teaching tool than the ones available on Gov.uk skills site); reading my book group novel (Swimming Pool Library - chosen for Pride month, I think); working in the garden; and, if it's not too hot, maybe taking Ddog somewhere a bit further flung than usual. I would like to go to Hampstead Heath, but it's a trek for us.

Catching up with mum on Friday. She will have visited dad on Thursday, and I have said it would be really helpful if she could initiate a conversation with him about his wishes regarding compassionate and dignified care for him going forward. The home need to record his wishes in this respect, and of course, it is yet another thing to which neither he nor my mother have given any thought, or none that they have expressed. My brother and I will support them, but they do have to hunker down on this issue as well.

Lockin - congratulations on a funeral well-managed. I hope you all got comfort from the day. I'm sorry the situation with your brother is trying: would your siblings' preference be to sell the house and enable everyone to move on, as it were?

My date night is with DH on Friday, not DS! DS is at a much cooler music festival in Peckham, and not remotely interested in dinner and a play with his mum.

Yesterday - £5 choir subs. This is cash, I took out £70 on Sat to see me through Sat snacks at music, Sunday collection and on into Tues choir as those are all cash. However DS had a snack from a shop on the way to music instead and that meant I had no change for the collection so only spent the £5, but this morning my purse only had £45 in it so I have had to message DD school again about her taking money. They have a cash free school policy so it is a school issue as well as a home issue.

She keeps taking cash and she always spends it on sweets, which is fine if it's her pocket money but she thinks it's OK to take any money she can find (including from my wallet and DH).

She's already lost her phone all week over shouting and hitting when she found her maths homework difficult at the weekend!

Afternoon everyone 🤗
Shopping today .
Home bargains £43
Tesco £50
Aldi £53
Mum ok but very tired today, she's been coughing a lot and it takes it out if her , took her some Honey and it really helped soothe the cough bless her .
Hope everyone is ok 🤗

@drspousethat must be upsetting you especially when you’d planned the cash carefully. I can understand why you’ve had to involve the school too . She’s still learning though and it's all part of growing up unfortunately. It’s really hard for you to deal with day to day though l know .
Hopefully the school can help support things from their side too, because it’s not really about the sweets, it’s helping her learn boundaries . It's hard growing up today and it's hard parenting too, bless you both 💐

Thanks, she's obviously not aware of the value of money, but loves to go shopping, she gets a buzz out of it I think (she has recently been diagnosed with ADHD). A friend has suggested she earn the money back at NMW (which is about £8 for under 18s). I shall be thinking of tasks for her to do. We will also be expecting her to pay back what she hasn't spent immediately and taking the rest off her pocket money.
I have just put in an order for some shoes with the expectation that I will either keep 1 pair, or possibly send them all back and buy off Vinted!

That sounds really fair and balanced, and hopefully helps her connect spending with earning without taking all the fun out of it @drspouse. ADHD can make impulse spending harder to manage from what l have seen with my friends & family . Hope one of the shoe pairs works out too 🤗. Vinted is brilliant for bargains!

@Lockin26You really did your DMum proud with the poem, and it was so special having that time with your extended family too. I am so happy for you it went as well as it did 💐.
I can understand why things feel heavier now with your DB and the house situation , that mix of grief and uncertainty is really tough for you sweetheart ❤️
Well done to your DH too for having your back , it's not easy bless him.

@BigSkies2022That all sounds really well pulled together, especially getting your finances organised and still leaving yourself some guilt free fun money 😁👏.
Your weekend plans sound lovely too.
That conversation with your Mum about your Dad is a really tough one, but it makes sense to talk about it sooner rather than later , good luck ! 🤞

@DirtyGertiefromno30 bless you re your DM (Nana Pumpkin) I hope she liked the honey.

@BigSkies2022 that does sound a lovely night on Friday with DH (I read it as him the first time!).

Yes @BigSkies2022 we are planning to put the house on the market. He's been there for four years, was only supposed to be a couple of nights. He has money in the bank to rent - just for comfortable in a three bed house in a lovely street.

Would have been a NSD but I had to buy a snack as I forgot to eat breakfast before I went running. £1.49 Morrisons.

Meant to say @drspouse I opened a Monzo account for me with all the pots and a teen account for DD, which gives her a card and access to an app. I can see her account and expenditures on my app and move money around. Much easier than when she had Barclays teen account. We don't do cash now. Although she still spends as much on sweets 😂

Apologies, skim reading and will answer properly tomorrow.
£9 today on eco friendly products to make my cleaning products from.
And £10.55 for swimming session tomorrow.
Night all xxx

She has a Starling account linked to mine but she spends all her week's money on sweets on Monday. I am pretty sure she spent the whole £20 on sweets just today judging by the wrappers. And she didn't get any money this week because she took some money the week before last.

Good morning everyone 😊
Has everyone voted for their favourite garden at Chelsea 😁?
Off to see Mum armed with a pot of honey 🍯. l am like Winnie the Pooh 😂
AHH thank you re my Mum @Lockin26blrss you 🤗
I am so hoping you are able to sell the house and get your DB to move out and take responsibility for himself 🤞
That Monzo account sounds excellent 👍.
Have a good day and enjoy the swim@Frugal25🤗
That Starling account ( love the name of it ) sounds excellent too
@drspouse 😊.
NSD for me today as did the shopping yesterday. An update on the blackout blinds we bought from JL a few weeks back , they are superb , l am sleeping much better and getting back to sleep after waking, a huge relief 👏👏🤗.

Morning all!
So glad the blinds are working @DirtyGertiefromno30 a good night's sleep fixes most things, as does tea.
I haven't voted. I need to have a look and vote thank you for reminding me Winnie the pooh!!
Sorry that teen is being a bit tricky with the money at the mo @drspouse. Maybe it's a phase? Remember OHs eldest going through similar but she came out alright in the end and is very good with money now.
Such a good idea to have children's accounts linked to your own. I shall bear this in mind for when DD is older.
@Lockin26i have fingers crossed you can sell the house and everyone stand on their own two feet. A tricky situation.

£121 in Lidl. Considering we are away for two nights this week I have no idea why it's high. Although I did buy alcohol this week when I don't normally. My dad was an alcoholic so mum is very against drinking. I don't buy it or drink it Infront of her and OH tends to buy it on Friday night on the way home from M&S for the weekend. But mum wasn't with me this morning so I picked it up as it's cheaper in Lidl. I also may have chucked in a few yellow sticker bits for the freezer/store cupboard.

Classic FM are trying to sell me the story that I could be the winner of £900k. I'm refusing to buy into it. Although I am sat here with a nice coffee dreaming of paying off the mortgage and giving up work.

Whilst I remember, how are you doing @RumBananaSundae and @DeepFriedCreamEgg
? Sending love to you both xxxx

My Chelsea Flower Show vote goes to these plants (though apparently they aren't there this year).

https://peapix.com/bing/56165

🤣🤣🤣 love it 😁 👏

Your Lidl shop sounds very normal to me @Frugal25, those few yellow sticker bits somehow multiply once they reach the trolley 😂 . And alcohol always bumps the bill up, especially when you’re not usually buying it. You were being practical stocking up while your Mum wasn’t there well done 👍. I had to laugh at Classic FM trying to convince you that you’re the chosen one for the £900k 😄 .Hope you enjoy the trip away, two nights away can do you all the world of good and the weather is supposed to be super 😊👏

Also spent £11 on lunch. We made friends in the swimming pool with a mum and her daughter so met up after in the cafe. A lovely lady although I came away feeling a bit like a failure. She homeschools her daughter and it was constantly "and she is so advanced in this that and the other. Watch!" And she would then test this poor 3 year old. Came away thinking my lovely DD who is doing very well is somewhat disadvantaged by going to school as she doesn't have this amazing life at home....
Anyway.
Hoping for a NSD for the rest of the weekend.
I may meet up with a friend for coffee but that's at mine. I should see another friend but haven't arranged what yet so hopefully it's something free.
Managed to pot up the plants I've grown from seed and cut the grass. It's gorgeous out there today.

@Frugal25l feel sorry for that little girl. The poor child is being made to perform like a seal. It's more about the Mum than the child imho . She is obviously looking for validation for her decision to home school . Now there's nothing wrong with home schooling in my eyes but there is a lot wrong with making a child show off in a cafe on demand . Your little girl is having a wonderful life/upbringing and it's so lovely for you all ❤️

It did feel like she was trying to validate it tbh. And obviously starved of company both of them as they made a beeline for us and wouldn't let us go for a few hours.
But I will up my game on the alphabet with DD, can only be a good thing to really know letters before school.
Thank you @DirtyGertiefromno30. You're always so lovely and say the right thing.
Have you had a nice day?

Good for you @Frugal25, learning the alphabet will be a lot of fun for you both 😊. Don't let this faze you sweetheart you are doing a brilliant job 👏👏👏😊
Yes thank you l had a good day. Visited Mum and then her 2 friends and they were all good 😊 so my cup runneth over as long as they are ok l am happy 😊

Ah I'm so glad. And you're so lovely visiting the friends too. Very happy they are all ok xxxxx

@Frugal25
Oh I've come across "those" mum's in the wild. They are a special species with a particularly good skill in bullshit. Your little one has you as a Mum and will therefore do brilliantly x

Thanks for asking @Frugal25 I would describe my current state as "life is certainly pulling a fast one on me".