Fed up of struggling financially

[povertymum]

Anyone else in the same boat? I am on my knees struggling, I am single mother of 1 and I have absolutely no help at all. Me and my son’s father split up 4 months ago and we haven’t seen him since , I had to leave my job due to no childcare options. I’ve just put my child to bed and now I’m sat worrying , really anxious about upcoming bills and how I’m going to put food into his mouth. It’s an absolute awful feeling. I have £9 in the bank and £0 cash this is supposed to last me one week. I need electric and food. I have no family I can ask, I am not eligible for loans etc. it’s just rubbish.

anyone else severely struggling? I don’t know how I’m struggling so much I buy absolutely nothing for myself.

Many places have long waiting lists. That is if you have any in your area.

Try to find childcare for SEN, her child has it. Childminders will charge double and UC won't cover much as if you have more kids - it will be thousands per month.

Free good - olio app

Does your area have a community fridge / larder ?

Thanks everyone for your comments. I’ve been to the food bank. I can’t believe how badly I’m struggling it’s awful, it’s coming up to Christmas and I know I won’t be able to afford toys for my baby. I feel horrible.

Agree why is everyone immediatey saying benefits not work!

What was your job experience? There are some customer service work from home jobs that you could do if you have customer service experience, you could also contact your local council and see if you could train to be a childminder in your house( if renting get landlords permission) you could then work and look after your own child.
If you drive( apologies if you have said you can’t) what about signing up to Uber Eats/Deliveroo/ Just eat uou can choose your own hours work for all of them and take your little one with you if you can’t find childcare.

First thing is put in a claim for child support from your ex anything you can get will help.

Sending virtual hugs, I have been where you are not having any money it can be very hard but you can get through it x

All well and good to say this but if there is no childcare how is she going to work?

Don't worry about toys for the baby. They don't realise it is Christmas. They might be happy with a box and scrunchy paper.

A baby does not know what day it is, dont fret about any presents, they are not more important than having a full stomach. At least you will have some food coming in, now that you have accessed the food bank. Have you spoken to your baby's health adviser? They may be aware of services that could be of assistance to you.

Almost everywhere has some form of childcare. If there is genuinely none where OP lives then she should move as this clearly can't continue as it is.

Have you got a local facebook free cycle type group as you may find people are giving away toys on the group or try marketplace as well. Have you checked if there is a local toy appeal in your area who can help you with this?

There will be some but like I say waiting lists etc. Also not everyone has extended family. If OP says there is no childcare I would believe her.

Hi OP - do you rent? Long term perhaps try to find somewhere more affordable if that’s an option.
Have you checked that you are getting full benefits entitlement until you get CM and childcare sorted? I know you say you are but it might be worth it to look at benefits calculators again.
I know lots of posters have suggested local FB groups which is great but also Vinted and so on - there will be others in your circumstances and you might find support and ideas from community groups (sometimes located at or via churches where it won’t matter if you attend church).
Are there ways to cut down expenses so that you can do a fun Christmas that isn’t perhaps everything you’d want but gets the job done as it were? Eg find a few little gifts cheaply, wrap up anything your DC hasn’t used for a while). I know they are 2 so that might be more tricky. Things like going for Christmas walks around your local area to look at lights that don’t cost anything.
Are there any local hardship funds?

It would be incredibly rare though so I think it's right to get to the bottom of whether there is literally no childcare places at all available in her area. If she is telling the truth then she needs to move

Baby doesn’t need toys for Christmas. Finding a long term solution is more important. Good advice has been given here.

Why do we have people producing offspring out of wedlock with uncommitted shiftless sperm donors?

Have you checked with nearby religious organizations? They might have ways to help.

Find out what freecycle type groups are active in your area; people might help with diapers, etc.

Have you applied to CMS? You need to search your local nurseries and get back into work ASAP.

Helpful.

With what money? It isn't cheap to move and it will also depend if she is in social housing or private rent.

If she is in social housing, she likely won't be able to afford to move to a private rental.

If she is in a private rental, it would depend on rent costs in nearby areas and if the deposit would be affordable.

Of course, that's without the general expenses of moving too. Especially if OP doesn't have a car.

What childcare were you using before you split up with your partner?

If there's genuinely no childcare, then you need to move to somewhere where childcare is available so you can get back to full time work.

Don't worry too much about Christmas presents for a 2 year old- you could buy them an impressive mountain of stuff from the charity shop for a couple of quid and they'd be delighted.

Before we could afford a Christmas tree we used to get a "festive twig"- we'd drag in a branch from the woods, spray it silver and hang baubles off that (you can also find Christmas decorations in charity shops).

Food banks have a massive drive for Christmas food on the run up to Christmas, so hopefully they'd be able to sort you out with some bits.

There will probably be some free stuff in your area like Christmas lights switch ons, Christmas fayres where Santa makes an appearance etc etc to impress your toddler.

And YANBU to be stumped by the lack of childcare. It isn't always available at the drop of a hat, for the hours you need, as people airily assume. But it's easier for them to bash single mothers than acknowledge the actual problem.

Things will get better, I promise.

OP, as you are home with baby anyway, can you do any babysitting for some extra cash?

People? You mean Women. Many don't find out what some Men are like, until they have a child with them. Speaking of the culture of having children out of wedlock, that is something that I have noticed has changed over the years. It is not seen as so important to some people now to be married before having children, it is not seen as a stigma anymore. Society, and what is considered respectable, has changed.

Train as a childminder?