Fed up of struggling financially

[povertymum]

Anyone else in the same boat? I am on my knees struggling, I am single mother of 1 and I have absolutely no help at all. Me and my son’s father split up 4 months ago and we haven’t seen him since , I had to leave my job due to no childcare options. I’ve just put my child to bed and now I’m sat worrying , really anxious about upcoming bills and how I’m going to put food into his mouth. It’s an absolute awful feeling. I have £9 in the bank and £0 cash this is supposed to last me one week. I need electric and food. I have no family I can ask, I am not eligible for loans etc. it’s just rubbish.

anyone else severely struggling? I don’t know how I’m struggling so much I buy absolutely nothing for myself.

As well as the excellent advice above another mother who also needs childcare might look after your DC in return for you looking after hers to allow you both to work part time. Your health visitor might know of someone or you might meet this mum at a church run playgroup. (I did this when I was a young mum.)
I hope life improves for you OP.

I am aware of this but what is the alternative? If OP genuinely lives in an area with absolutely no childcare whatsoever then is this likely to be an area that will support her living a prosperous life in the future with her child? I suspect it must be very rural in which case limited childcare will just be the start of her issues. It is unlikely there is a good selection of jobs or retraining opportunities. If she doesn't have a car then this will compound problems. What about future schools etc for her child?

OP could apply for a Discretionary Housing Payment at the very least if moving is the only viable of getting her back into work. I assume you think she would be better off staying put, relying on benefits and struggling instead?

It depends if the problem is no childcare because OP is in a rural area or no childcare because nurseries etc are available but they all have waiting lists.

It also depends on her housing situation. If she is in social housing which is secure and likely to be more affordable, what would happen if she moved to a private rental but then 3 months later, the landlord decided he was selling? Where would that leave her and her child? Certainly not any more secure than they are now. If OP has secure affordable housing, I think it would take a lot for me to encourage a single parent to give that up for unsecure and likely more expensive housing.

I just don't think moving is the easy solution it is often made out to be when someone is already struggling financially.

Not all childminders are expensive. And uc covers most of it. I have 3 kids.

How about she pursues maintenance from dad rather than more from the state.

Really should not have quit her job if she is left with £9 in the bank. She also made choices. Why should people get benefits after deciding to leave a job.

It's not an easy option at all but this doesn't mean it's not the best option. Especially in the longer term.

If OP doesn't live rurally then she really should be able to access childcare even if it means looking slightly further afield or considering childminders etc as well as nurseries.

Social Housing is great if you can get it but if it's in an area that isn't serving her family then OP shouldn't be absolutely wed to it for the rest of her life. How long do you suggest she stays in this dependency loop where she can't move for fear of losing SH and therefore can't find childcare and therefore can't work? Even when the child's at school she might still find she can't access wrap-around care to work.

Yes but as I found it was hard going to pay it up front before they gave it back.

The chances of her getting maintenance is pretty slim and I imagine takes a long time. Why shouldn't she claim it?

Any harder than having say £9 in the bank whilst not working?

Because she decided to leave work. Why should tax payers pay for that rather than this child's 2 parents.

How do you know it will be slim to get maintenance. Does that means she shouldn't even try or make a CMS application?

Equally ive seen many threads on here about mothers getting several hundred pounds a month from an entirely absent father and they want to ask for more...

But yes let's assume she wont get anything and just claim benefits.

I suggest: contact your ex’s parents, ask them to help you track him down. Mention that you have £9 left and no income since dp left and their grandchild is now living in extreme poverty and facing homelessness since you cannot work due to being unable to find childcare that covers the hours you need.

Ask your own parents and family for help- can you move in with your parents for a while until you are back in your feet? Even if you are sharing a small room with dc.

Couldn't agree more! She could have left her 2 year old at home with an iPad for 9 hours! Or in the car outside of her place of work! Or brought them INTO her place of work- every office, factory floor, school or consulting room could benefit from a toddler roaming around, couldn't it 🙄

But no, these feckless breeders will make any excuse not to work, won't they.

If you have no job then move to a cheaper location where there is better childcare and jobs. It sounds like you have no support at all so a fresh start would be okay. Find a flat in a city and move there - in the long run you’ll do better

Well how are you going to pay childcare up front if you only have £9 in the bank?

What was she doing for childcare before dad left. Unless he was a SAHD it was something ...

Shouldn't have left her job then and paid the child care upfront and claimed it from UC.

See how circular this is.

Why is everyone acting as if she is without any agency at all.

If one can’t pay for a couple weeks of childcare up front, perhaps one can’t afford a child.

And this too.

I don't know, you'll have to ask OP to clarify, but I'm going to guess they tag teamed.

This sounds utterly rubbish op. Probably not enough money as a long term solution but for a short term top up could you advertise locally to take in ironing. People will drop a bag off and you can do when your child is asleep / napping in the evenings. £10 / £15 an hour. The internet tells me it is under £1 an hour to power an iron.

What was your job?

what was your income?

what income would you need to be comfortable on?

what skills/qualification/experience do you have?

And left the toddler at home unattended?

Exactly!

I can't believe how much some posters are encouraging OP to engage in a form of helplessness and passivity towards her situation all to maximise her benefit claim.

Stuck in an area with no support and no childcare. Don't give up social housing as you might have to pay private rent. The fact she's poor, isolated and can't work isn't apparently motivation enough to try to change your circumstances.

Don't bother pursuing the dad for maintenance as you're unlikely to get it. Just rinse the state as much as possible alongside any charities that can help.

No talk of what happened to her previous arrangements for her child whilst she worked. Just an assumption that now it's impossible.

Really? No childcare whatsoever? Nothing at all? Whilst I know there are some rural deserts where you won’t find childcare, there is usually something on offer.

when my friend moved to another area due to DV, there was. childcare available in some places as soon as 2027 - by which time her child will be at school

this is a very urban area with many different nursery places - but you need to get a nursery place when youre pregnant - that is really a thing

so although she eventually got a place at a council nursery - it was for 3 hour sessions for both her dc

by which time she had had to leave her job and get her p45

she will return to work next January when the youngest is 3 years old and she can't wait - even then it will be a juggle with childcare and not straight forward. Two different providers will be used and a wrap round care

so yes really, childcare is an issue

I'd adore a step by step breakdown of how she would actually be able to do this right now.