Mince Pies, Mulled Wine, frugal festive frolics. Yuletide budgeting banter & Merry Saving Shenanigans for all 🎁🎄🦌🎅🤶☃️

[MaryGreenhill]

Welcome to the Christmas Frugal thread . We are a super friendly group here & everyone is welcome 🤗 .
☃️🤶🎅🦌🎄🎁

@MaryGreenhill sounds like it's been a very difficult Christmas for you. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster with your Mum, to say the least. I hope the UTI clears up and then your Mum will be more comfortable. Fingers crossed for your own bowel cancer check.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum also @FurForksSake. And her memory issues add an extra layer of difficulty.

And @chimichangaz sorry to hear about your friend's Dad. Sounds like you had a very fruitful Christmas Eve shop in M&S.

@BigSkies2022 I'm sorry to hear about your Dad also. Hope your DH is over his pre-Christmas illness. My mouth was watering reading about your Christmas ham. I've never gone skiing so I can't recommend any resorts. I really liked that line, "It can't be all lentil soup and herbal tea". I reckon that should be our Frugaleers' motto 😁.

@Mochi1fudge you've reminded me that I need to make an appointment with a pension person in the new year. I have an occupational pension, but I need to find out more about it. I also have an AVC, but I stopped paying into it when the recession/banks bailout happened here in Ireland. We had so many increased taxes and levies as a result of the recession/banks bailout, that we needed every cent just to pay our mortgage and bills. I've been putting the appointment off, because I suspect they're going to tell me that I should resume payments. Which is obviously a sensible thing to do. But sometimes I feel like for every step forward I make financially, it's two steps back. And I see you also have a lot going on with your Mum. The situation with your brother sounds rather fraught. Do you worry that he will start to drink again? I probably would, if I was in your shoes (worry that is, not drink).

The talk about pots has reminded me that I need to get DD to sort out my Revolut, so I can make payments from it. I want to transfer €X amount of money from my bank account to Revolut per week, and then that's my disposable income for the week. I don't have time to track my spending on a daily basis. I think it will be easier if I can see that I have €10 to do me until Friday, or whatever. DD doesn't charge much for her technical expertise 😁.

DD has turned 21. I've been toying with the idea of making her my official Next of Kin. For the past few years, I've had my brother down as my Next of Kin. Or should I leave it until she turns 25? What do you think? She's a fairly sensible kid, but has limited life experience - school, college and a part-time retail job. Also, I don't know if she plans to travel in the next few years. A lot of Irish kids take off to Australia for a year or two (used to be the US but that seems to have become less popular in recent years, especially since Trump came to power). If she does go travelling, I may be as well off leaving my brother as Next of Kin for the foreseeable future. If I'm making DD my Next of Kin, I need to put together a folder for her with details of my mortgage/life insurance policy/car insurance policy/pension etc. I lost a close school friend back in October and these things have been weighing heavily on my mind. My friend died suddenly (she was separated with teenage kids) and I can only imagine the difficulty her family had getting to grips with the practical side of things, on top of the emotional impact of her death.

I'll probably have DD's boyfriend staying with me for a few months. He's doing a paid internship. It would be too far to drive to his workplace from his own home. But it's within driving distance from here. At first I thought he would be here from Monday - Friday. But recently DD said he might just stay over three nights a week. I was wondering if I should ask for a small contribution for food? He eats a lot. Maybe I need to chat to DD nearer the time, and establish exactly how many nights he'll be here.

I want to clear out some drawers in my kitchen today. Every time I open them, there are random items falling out of them. And I can't fit the things I do want into them. If DD ever comes home with my car, I'll head to Tesco. I need to stock up on cat food and litter and a small amount of food. But I'll have another cuppa first.......

Thanks for the praise @BigSkies2022 but I'm in my early '50s. It has taken me a long time to become financially sensible. I was never taught any of these things and they didn't come naturally to me. I just muddled along and was swept along by life events (in particular, the recession/banks bailout and the separation).

Aw thank you @Taytocrispstbh Christmas has been really tough with my Mum . Fingers crossed my bowel check goes smoothly.
I can understand why you’ve been putting off the pension appointment, but it does sound sensible to get it clear in your head . Even if they tell you what you already suspect. Your Revolut plan sounds really practical ,having a set weekly amount feels much easier than tracking every spend.
Happy 21st to your DD too that's a real milestone birthday. I think you’re right to pause on changing Next of Kin if she may travel, keeping your brother for now sounds sensible, and you can revisit it later. The idea of a clear info folder is a very good one, especially after losing your friend l am so sorry bless you.
With DD’s boyfriend staying, it probably makes sense to clarify how many nights first, then see if a small food contribution feels reasonable, especially if it’s going to be a regular occurrence.
Good luck tackling the kitchen drawers , very satisfying when they’re done. Enjoy that cuppa first though 😁

Good luck for your bowel check @MaryGreenhill.
How are you doing @lifelongfrugaleer?

Feeling overwhelmed today. I was so looking forward to my plans (nothing big, just lunch in a cafe with DM and DB and then getting car washed whilst I did a shop in Tesco, I never get my car washed so this is a treat) and gosh, I think where I'm used to lidl at 8am when it's quiet and I know where things are, Tesco was manic and I didnt have a clue where bits where.... Got completely overwhelmed and DD wouldn't get in the trolley so ended up shouting at her as I was scared she would be taken (a proper anxiety of mine, I have read way too much on James bulger) she then ended up in tears, so then we sat on the floor in the middle of the aisle having a cuddle with me apologizing profusely.
Sigh
That shop was £111!!!!!! That's just bits to go with the meals I've made from the freezer, a gift for niece for her birthday and bits to make DD cake with. Ridiculous.
Mum treated me to the car wash bless her. It's so shiny!!!!!
£11.26 for lunch in the cafe.
£28 for window cleaner. He was meant to do whole house including gutters and sofits. But I've come home to just the front windows done. Hoping he doesn't charge me for the back windows as he does sometimes charge if I'm out and can't let him in the back.... Although I left it open for him...
Gosh I hope I can shake this mood. Might pop some music on and start taking the decs down. I always take them down before NY so the new year is a fresh start.

DD reminded me that I'm out of contract now for my mobile phone and can reduce my payments accordingly. She used to work for the phone company and told me exactly what to say when I rang. So I will be saving approx. €40 a month going forward. She wanted me to do this before Christmas, but I didn't have the headspace to be making phone calls. Anyway, better late than never.

Tomorrow we're going to drive to the nearest big town and I'll switch my broadband to SKY.

I’m ok. Doing some work stuff to organise for when in off. £140 Sainsbury’s shop but that will
last ages and DS is having friends for NYE

I’ve read but my brain is no good at responding correctly to people. Supermarket sounds stressful, but apologies and cuddles are really powerful for children. They learn that we get things wrong and can make it right again and regulate ourselves. Good skills!

DH has gone to get the Tesco shopping, £125 for New Year’s Eve.

I had physio this morning he worked on my neck the absolute diamond. I go for my hip but he’ll work on whatever hurts after he’s done that.

Then we went for a walk; but I didn’t check the route and it was a very short toddle around the lake. We were being out while the cleaner was here, and so we then went to home bargains for a browse. Came home without spending anything, they hadn’t reduced any of their Christmas stock and people were avoiding it like the plague.

@Frugal25Oh love, that sounds really overwhelming 😢 Tesco, DD upset… totally understandable. So proud of you for cuddling her and apologizing .
@Frugal25
You are doing brilliantly sweetheart 🤗

That’s brilliant @Taytocrisps! €40 a month is a nice saving, and well done for getting it sorted even if a bit later than planned. Switching your broadband to SKY sounds like a good move too hope the setup goes smoothly tomorrow!

@lifelongfrugaleerSounds like a good productive day!
£140 sounds like a proper stock up definitely worth it if it’ll last. Hope your DS has a great time with his friends on NYE and you get to celebrate it with your beloveds too .

Sounds like a busy day @FurForksSake! Glad the physio helped your neck, he's an absolute legend and even a short walk’s better than nothing, and good on you for resisting Home Bargains temptations 👏😁

Dr just been to see Mum. He was quite happy with her . Mums temp is down , she's well hydrated . Antibiotics are completed now . It's a very short course but is a game changer for Mum . She's went fast asleep straight after the Dr had been. I think she needs a good rest now to make up for the sleep she's lost bless her . The wonderful carer on and came straight in to see Mum bless him . Mum opened her eyes to him and said hello darling aw bless her.
I think she's turned the corner now and hopefully she will just get back to normal. Fingers crossed 🤞.Mum had half a bowl of trifle for me and about 800mls of fluid .
She just needs to rest and recover now . Thank God. Thank you all so much for helping me.

Great news Mary. You get some rest too now

Some milk today so not much spending.

I went for a Miele L1 @MaryGreenhill. It’s black and shiny. And came with a turbo head. So glad your mum is on the mend. Sounds like a worthwhile trip to Aldi. Hope your check was OK and take things easy.

I’ve never been skiing @BigSkies2022 but do spend as much time as I can in the mountains. I would have to agree with your take. Accommodation in Italy, at least where I’ve stayed, has nothing on France or Switzerland.

@Frugal25 what a day. I hope you’re feeling a bit better now.

Had a quiet day. Did some work. Meant to be meeting flakey tomorrow for the theatre and a meal. I’ve not heard from her but have my fingers secretly crossed that she’ll flake as I don’t fancy spending any money or venturing off the sofa.

AHH thank you @lifelongfrugaleer l am going to l can tell you . You too sweetheart 💐

Nice low spend day @RumBananaSundae 😁
Miele vacuum cleaners are brilliant, l have one too but no turbo head 😍
Ah thank you re my Mum
Quiet days are underrated, and secretly hoping Flakey flakes is very understandable… 😁

Fingers crossed for your flakey friend @RumBananaSundaei do that too with a friend of mine sometimes. It's so nice when they cancel and you just need a sofa day. Ooohhh miele do Hoovers?????? My shark may have to be swapped......
@MaryGreenhillim so pleased for your lovely mum. Thank goodness. I've been so worried (and I'm sure everyone else has too) obviously not as much as you, and you def deserve a rest. Pour a bath, a glass of wine or a cuppa and relax my sweetie.

I've had a lovely bath using a new set of bath salts and moisturizer I got for Christmas and now plan on spending evening on the sofa. Not been an awful day but it has been long lol

Your bath sounds gorgeous @Frugal25 new bath salts are such a treat 🤗. Sofa, comfy clothes and a quiet evening sounds exactly right after a long day. Sometimes 'not awful but long' is more than enough. Thank you for the lovely comments re my Mum. l am so grateful for everyone being behind me ❤️

Great updates @Taytocrisps. Hope you don’t mind me suggesting but could the money you’re now saving each month go towards your pension? Maybe you wouldn’t miss it as you’ve been paying it anyway. Just a thought. And yes to asking DDs bf to pay towards his food.

@BigSkies2022 I’ve not been skiing so can’t help sadly but interested to know how it pans out for you.

@Frugal25 that shopping trip sounds a nightmare but you dealt with it beautifully.

@lifelongfrugaleer you are doing so well getting practical stuff sorted. Go you 😊

@RumBananaSundae I know exactly what you mean about hoping your flakey friend flakes on you. I heard a saying that ‘being an adult is mostly wishing you hadn’t made plans’. That’s me!

@MaryGreenhill so so glad your mum is on the mend. Look after yourself too 💐

I did not have a NSD yesterday or today. Yesterday I went shopping with a friend in a nearby town and we hit the charity shops and Boots and had lunch. Both had bargains - I got a Phase 8 dress which will be lovely on my upcoming cruise for a fiver (charity shops) and also some skincare from Boots in their sale. My friend can spot a designer label at 100 yards and bought a couple of dresses and some shoes (charity shop). She then spent a fortune in Boots but it included stocking up on future presents. So all in all a good day.

Today I had my PT session at 7:30 which was a challenge to get up for but I achieved a PB on the leg press of 100kg which is over 30kg more than I’ve previously done. Go me 🤣

I then celebrated with a McD breakfast and bought some bits from Sainsbury’s for taking to my relatives this afternoon.

@MaryGreenhill you did have some Aldi bargains. I’ve been tempted to cancel my TGTG bag for tomorrow as I never seem to have much luck but as it’s only £3.30 I think I’ll give it a whirl. Maybe I’ll get lucky with a steak!

@Sounds like a really good couple of days, NSD or not @chimichangaz😊
Thank you so much re my Mum bless you 🤗
A Phase Eight dress for a fiver is a massive win , perfect for your cruise. Charity shops did you both proud, and Boots bargains (especially with future presents sorted) are sensible spending.
Huge well done on the 7.30am PT session too , 100kg on the leg press is brilliant, especially being 30kg up. That absolutely earned the McD breakfast 😄
I’d keep the TGTG bag as well for £3.30 it’s worth the gamble. Fingers crossed for that steak 🤞

Sorry only half kept up with the thread but hope everyone is enjoying the break.

Hello @Taytocrisps hope the pension planning goes well. I'm 53 and seem to spend a large proportion of time thinking about it!

Thanks for the sympathy around my DM / DB situation. The latest event was the third detox after a hospital admission. This time I'm not so worried as he nearly died so hopefully the shock he needed. I keep a distance as he can be difficult, even when sober.

Today wasn't bad:
Lidl £27
B&M £20 8 x bags of kindling, was not tempted by anything else for once!
Amazon £24.99 supplements for DH
Sweets at cinema £5.55 (as I haven't had enough chocolate 🙈)

Went to see Wicked for Good with dsis and DD then DS met us for food. Dsis treated us to food and tickets were pre bought.

Also off the to do list
Transferred both mine and DSs phone to a cheaper deal (saving £22 pm)
Got £75 Currys gift cards with the phone deals which the DC are sharing tomorrow.
Checked life and critical illness cover. When set up we got two policies which would have covered the mortgage but now we don't need the full amount I think we can save £30 pm - will check tomorrow.
Updated my beach holiday list from the last holiday - organized is cheaper. Nothing planned on that front until we have an emergency fund set up!

Morning.

@Mochi1fudge I am really sorry to hear about your DB. From your post, it seems you’ve managed to put an extremely sensible emotional distance between you. Alcoholism is such a terrible addiction. Did you enjoy Wicked?

Good news on your DM @MaryGreenhill - here’s hoping 2026 brings a more settled period for you and your lovely family.

Ain’t been skiing since I was a wee bairn @BigSkies2022 so absolutely no pearls from me sadly.

Bloody great leg press PB @chimichangaz! I am just about to do a core routine after I post this. Legs were Monday and still feeling it a bit!

Hope you enjoyed a more relaxed evening @Frugal25

Hope you hear or do not hear from flakey, as per your mood desires @RumBananaSundae

Good to hear from you @Taytocrisps. I wonder if you could perhaps ask your DD’s BF to buy the ingredients for whatever is on your meal plan, if you do one for those few days? Or stock up the fresh food? Or fruit? Or milk/bread/cheese etc.

Low spending here. I was ‘proper’ knackered yesterday, totally fed up of Christmas and seeing people, despite having a lovely evening with friends the previous evening. We went to my DB’s yesterday for another social. It was lovely actually and my two DB’s have recently made up after a long period of cool relations, so it was nice to see my 90 year old DM relish their good relationship again. My feelings still stand though - we’ve done something everyday apart from one for two weeks now, I’m peopled out and I want NORMAL!!!!

This evening will involve a Wagyu beef pie from M&S that I bought with my Christmas order, triple cooked chips and Jools Holland! I’ve ordered oat milk from Amazon at a great price so bulk ordered at £17 and I need to get the chips but that’s it for spends.

Investments have been reviewed and we’ve received the first ever pension payment from DH’s pension fund. We don’t actually need that but FA suggested and I agreed that we utilise his tax free PAYE allowance for the year rather than waste it. So £1k in the bank - balance of allowance to be received by April so HMRC don’t assume he’s suddenly earning a fortune. I’m too young to utilise mine yet but hey ho.

Here’s to 2026 frugal friends and folk!

Good morning @needastrongoneagain
I’m so glad your DBs have made up, seeing your DM enjoy that must have meant a lot for you all. Totally get being peopled out though ,two weeks solid is a lot, and wanting normality is more than fair.
Your New Year's evening sounds perfect ❤️
Wagyu pie, triple cooked chips and Jools Holland .
Great oat milk bulk buy and a very smart move with DH’s pension too.
Thank you for the lovely wishes for Mum and my family truly appreciated .
Wishing you, DH and all your family a peaceful, happy New Year and a calm, frugal 2026 ahead 🥂

Sounds like a really good update @Mochi1fudge 🤗
Keeping some distance with your DB/DM situation makes total sense after everything he’s been through. Three detoxes and a hospital admission is a lot, hopeful, but sensible to protect yourself.
Today was full of wins for you well done .
Wishing you a very happy New Year to you and your beloveds 🥂✨

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New thread when everyone is ready , everyone welcome to our wonderful, kind, supportive, little corner of Mumsnet ❤️