Mince Pies, Mulled Wine, frugal festive frolics. Yuletide budgeting banter & Merry Saving Shenanigans for all 🎁🎄🦌🎅🤶☃️

[MaryGreenhill]

Welcome to the Christmas Frugal thread . We are a super friendly group here & everyone is welcome 🤗 .
☃️🤶🎅🦌🎄🎁

@MaryGreenhill - huge amounts of kind thoughts being sent your way from me. I won’t go into the specific circumstances around DH’s stroke, they are very traumatic for myself and the DC, but safe to say I am a fervent and ardent believer in having life in your years rather than years in your life. As an aside folks - please get your Power of Attorney documents in place so you have the legal right to advocate for the people you love when they can’t. It’s never too early. And make sure the family know very clearly and without equivocation what your wishes might be in the worst of circumstances.

❤️

NSD - there will be an Ocado order of about £80 coming tomorrow, solely due to the fact we have guests coming and I’m making two huge chilli’s (meat and veggie), salads, garlic bread etc. I doubt I’d have gotten to the required £40 minimum order otherwise. Hopefully there will be enough to last us a couple of meals though.

Mary ❤️ I’m another for the ask questions and look at quality of life over length. You have made what sounds like a balanced decision for nana pumpkins best interests. You know her better than the carers. Even easier if family are onboard too

scan went well. Was in for ages but the tube doesn’t bother me at all

@needastrongoneagain
Completely agree with this.
Also, even not in specific details of song etc you need to let people know your funeral wishes too a relative passed a couple of years ago without ever letting anybody know any of their wishes and it added to the anguish of the grieving adult kids.

@MaryGreenhill i sometimes think the life either the elderly is like life with small children. You know them better than any medical professional and ensuring quality of life I’d more important than quality.

An aunt of mine said recently that all this modern medicine is just dragging us on longer than we need to be! I do think if you’re being dragged along it’s times to rethink things and put the balance on quality of life.

Evening everyone 🤗
The staff think Mum has a nasty UTI too ,so no wonder she is so poorly bless her .
They have called the emergency GP out to see her tonight. Hopefully he will be able to give her antibiotics .
I really do think that explains so much of the tiredness and confusion, especially at her age. She has to get better from this rip roaring infection bless her .
When I went back this afternoon she wasn't very good at all so l am worried again now .
We gave her loads to drink and the surgery GP is going tomorrow morning as well. We have been there 5 hrs in total today .Mum did know us . I just hope the GP goes there soon and they get the antibiotics into her asap .
We will be up there again in the morning.
There is nothing else l can do . We don't want Mum sent into hospital lying in a corridor on a trolley for days. Far better her stay in the home with the staff and us looking after her .
I have told them to ring me once the GP has been and to give me a ring if she deteriorated during the night .
I can't do anymore than this l only wish l could .

Hugs @MaryGreenhill. I agree about not sending her to hospital. My own mother refused to go last week and I wholeheartedly agreed with her it’s a balance but hospitals do not always care for the elderly very well. They won’t do much more than the care staff and she will get much better care from those who know her.

UTIs really do make them quite, quite mad. My mother was as so bad she ended up with sepsis in October, so I’m glad they’ve spotted this for your mother and are going to treat her quickly. I hope they’ll try and get a sample and send it for cultures so they can give her something specific after the broad spectrum. Not easy with elderly patients, but it will make fighting it easier.

You are right @pistachiosanscream thank you , it's like my Mum is my child and l am her parent now .
I suspect a lot of us feel like this with our elderly loved ones ❤️
Yes @FurForksSake they gave Mum 20mls of Calpol 6plus which was 1G , it did bring her temperature down a lot .
Thank you 🤗
@RumBananaSundae thank you for reminding me,you are right re the asking about why things are being done we are left out of the loop a bit because the home has taken over our role slightly and it's been a bit of a struggle getting access to Mums GP. They go to the home at all times of the day and we never see him.
If Mum is ok after this infection l am going to change this .
Thank you so much @Frugal25 that is so kind of you 🤗.
Thank you @Mochi1fudgethat's exactly what it feels like a rollercoaster!
@BigSkies2022 ah thank you so much you are so right to 'going out like a light' is very desirable it's a terrible shock for the loved ones left behind d but omg it's so hard watching the gradual decline 😥
AHH thank you @chimichangaz l know, l have been so lucky with everyone supporting me and trying to give me good advice . I am so grateful 🤗
AHH thank you @needastrongoneagain you are so right re the poa and wishes being put in place well before anything happens.
Great advice .
@lifelongfrugaleer well done on having your scan in that tube 😱. Very brave of you . l am sure l would have a panic attack. Thank you re My Nanna Pumpkin , l have tried to do what l think is best and yes thankfully the family are on board too 🤗
Absolutely right @ChipshopPickledEgg we all need to sort out our wishes and arrangements before anything happens to us or our loved ones 🤗

Thank you @pistachiosanscreaml know you are right , my Mum couldn't get better treatment in hospital. The care home staff really care about her and she knows 4 of them from when they were babies because we lived on a little estate and they used to go to Mum and Dad for ice creams bless them .
@FurForksSake yes she must have been brewing this for a while l think . Although theu have tested her urine and it has been negative but it reeks today . Aw thank you for being kind bless you 🤗
Thank you everyone 😊
Fingers crossed it's good news.
I will keep you posted ❤️

Just rung the home now , Gp was still there , she's diagnosed Mum with a urine infection and prescribed a course of antibiotics for 3 days. She has them with her so she has started them tonight . She is to continue with Increased fluids as well . The carer in charge said she was settled up there now thankfully.
I can't tell you how relieved l am , l/we will sleep tonight .
Thank you so much everyone ❤️ l will let you know how Nanna Pumpkin is tomorrow 🤗

It's the sandwich generation Mary. So bloody hard!
Exhausting mentally and physically.
Be kind to yourself though Mary don't do too much or feel guilty from what you've said (I mean this with respect) your not 21 yourself either so you need to look after yourself too please.

Good morning everyone 🤗Just woken up , the home have not rung during the night so l hope Mum rested well. We will go up early and get a load of fluids Into her today bless her .
We did sleep on and off . I was on alert thinking the home would ring for us to go up in case she was worse but we haven't heard from them so that is good. Will keep you posted, hope everyone has slept ok . I won't ring them now, the night staff will be really busy and l asked them to ring me if Mum deteriorated.
Hopefully the antibiotics do the trick for the UTI, it’s such a worry.
@ChipshopPickledEgg ah thank you for saying that you are completely right. l am 64 and my DH is 70 and we have our own health problems. It's really hard on the sandwich generation too right!
I am just going to have a cuppa and probably another one 😁 then get up and go to see Mum. Hope everyone is feeling good and has a lovely day 😊.

Agree re the sandwich generation. We have teenage DC and work full time while saving for retirement. My DM is 93 diagnosed with blood cancer 8 years ago, can barely walk, doubly incontinent, stoma bag, takes chemo, can't hear, almost blind in one eye and now terrible itchy skin. Still deemed to have mental capacity, although is on the waiting list for a social worker and I'll be asking them to give an opinion. My alcoholic (currently sober) DB moved in 3.5 years ago (he lost his house as he didn't pay the mortgage and was 10s of thousands in debt) and says he must do all her care - me and Dsis have nicknamed him 'Matron'. At the worst times I've looked at DM and thought please I never want to end up like that. Life in your years rather than years in your life and go out like a light resonate with me. Anyway that's my rant / ramble over!

@MaryGreenhill I know what you mean about nights like that when you are on alert. UTIs are dreadful in the elderly and do cause confusion. I hope the antibiotics work 🤞 let us know how your DM is 🩷

Today I will check our life / critical illness insurance. Move mobile phone provider for DS and I as I found a cheaper deal. Also POA for DH and I is on the list. It may be a NSD 🙏

Oh tha k goodness nana pumpkin has been seen and given meds @MaryGreenhill that's such a relief. Enjoy your lovely cuppa before checking on her. I bet she is feeling so much better today and long may that continue. So glad the staff are looking after her. Sounds like they really care esp if they knew her from little, that's so beautiful.
Oh @Mochi1fudgeyou have your plate full too. So glad your DB is on hand though which is a relief I'm sure to have someone there 24/7. Matron! That made me giggle.

I have found some leftover veg that wasn't used for Christmas in the bottom on the fridge so shall roast that later for dinner. Apart from going on the bus to the library with DD we shouldn't spend anything today. So £2 I'm guessing.

Ooohhhh enjoy having your hair done @BigSkies2022i bet you look even more beautiful after

Good news on starting the antibiotic’s yesterday. Hopefully they kick in soon. Pleased you got some rest Mary

my brother never left home and has no intention of doing so which in a way of good as he is there but also bad as he’s a Peter Pan

Kind of you to think that @Frugal25 🩷 and most people say the same but unfortunately it's made things so much harder. Like @lifelongfrugaleer DB he's a Peter Pan (plus an alcoholic and irresponsible with money).

Anyway, hoping your DM improves today @MaryGreenhill enjoy that cuppa first though!

@MaryGreenhill I hope your mum is improved today. The sandwich generation thing is so true. My dad isn't well, he looks ok and between him and my mum they manage. I have been visiting more regularly (they live about 270 miles away) but it's hard juggling it all.
Twixmas is proving a tad spendy. Went to the sales yesterday and got what I was after but spent £80. Saw a friend the day before, lunch then a drink. Seeing another friend for drinks this afternoon and we're meeting some other friends on New Year's eve for more drinks.
Got some work lined up for January and no pub outings!

Sandwich generation is IMO about the hardest stage of your life.
Often it happens what feels over night too you go from being the cared for to the carer and it is particularly hard for us these days when we have to also work full time, have our own children and have a resemblance of a normal life.
It's also hard because all of our lives we've had a respect for our parents and seen them as the invisible until one day you have that shocking realisation they are not.
Not to get political either fragility has no political barriers but things have been squeezed to the extreme to the point there just isn't the support.
Bless you all going through this.

Ah I hear you @Mochi1fudge, I did think when typing that it probably wasn't the best situation but didn't like to assume. Having an alcoholic nearby is a very tense and tricky situation. Make sure you look after yourself as well as everyone else as you have a lot going on xxx

Went to the library and it was closed! So went to the park and then managed to bribe DD with a toy from a charity shop to manage her swag as it was freezing. The coat that I liked months ago and couldn't stop thinking about was still there. Brand new and £5 so I bought it. It was meant to be I'm sure as it had waited for me. And you for DD was £4.

Speaking of the sandwich generation, I've noticed my own DM getting more and more frail and not able to walk much. She doesn't help by eating ice cream as meals tbh and her health is a problem. She child minds for me whilst I'm at work and it's always a worry as she isn't able to do much. I'm upping DD hours at pre school in April to allow DM to not have to be on hand as much as it's a lot to ask for when she isn't as bouncy these days.

Off to spent afternoon chilling at home as it's so cold out! Hope your DM is more comfortable@MaryGreenhill

Afternoon everyone 🤗
Dr has been, definitely a UTI , gave Mum a good examination, ears fine chest fine . Mum has had a bowl of trifle . Over 1 litre of Lucozade, tea and hot chocolate. Just waiting for a change of pad and repositioning before we go. Mum seems much calmer . I just gave her Calpol because her temperature was up again . Mum resting ATM . The carer on this afternoon is absolutely amazing so we won't be coming back up because he's on and we have been here 5 hours now .The Dr has changed the antibiotics to the one that Mum should be having thankfully. We will go up again tomorrow morning but hopefully she's going to be ok .
I can't believe l have just said that after all this that has gone on . I feel like you must think l am exaggerating.. but you know l am not 🤗
Off to reply to your messages now, hope everyone is ok and thank you for the lovely support for me, bless you all ❤️

Thank you @Mochi1fudge that's so kind of you 🤗
That’s the sandwich generation alright , teenagers, work, money worries, and your DM’s heavy care needs. Anyone would feel overwhelmed, and those
“life in your years” thoughts are completely understandable.
The situation with your DB sounds very hard, asking the social worker for an independent view is very wise. You’re still getting important things done , insurance, phones, POA , even when exhausted.
And yes, nights on alert are awful. UTIs can cause real confusion , l so hope these new antibiotics help my DM very quickly 🩷

£64 for haircut- will tot up my annual spends for 2025 on hair/make-up/skincare later. I am not an experimenter with products so my expenditure there is generally replacing like for like when one lot runs out.

£22 in Sainsbury’s, mostly on ingredients for coq au Riesling and trad onion soup. The latter will be a good way to use up the left over sauce/gravy from the boeuf bourgignon. Probably won’t make the coq until new year- chicken in freezer.

That sounds ideal @Frugal25👍 😁
Using up the Christmas leftovers and a no spend day apart from the bus fare is a win. Roasted veg will be lovely, and a bus trip to the library with DD is a nice, simple outing. Hope you both enjoy it 📚🥕
Thank you for your lovely message Re my Mum hopefully she has turned the corner now 🙏🤗

Hopefully they kick in soon @lifelongfrugaleer🤗.
I get what you mean about your brother, good that he’s there, but the Peter Pan side may be frustrating. At least l think l would find it so.
Well persevered 🤗👏

@Vinorosso74It’s a lot to juggle, especially with your DP 270 miles away. You’re doing well keeping on top of it.
@Vinorosso74 well done 🤗👏