please critic my budget and give ideas, what would you do??

[Pinkfemme1]

I'd love some advice about my situation.
I'm a single mum with 2 school age kids, who I have full time
My current yearly salary is 50k, I get child benefit and some hit and miss child maintenance of around £150 a month (he is self-employed, it's impossible to challenge that)
After taxes and pension contributions I have around £3100 a month
£140 k left to pay on mortgage, house worth around £300k, so around £160k in equity. Where I live (Leeds) I could in theory get a house for that price (160k), but it would mean moving to a much less desirable area, smaller house, away from support network and kids' school.
However I currently pay almost £900 in mortgage a month and then
council tax £120
electricity and gas £230
phone £17
car inc £65
petrol £100
food £300-400
cat food, vet etc. £100
kids afterschool activities £95
water £50
tv licence £14
life insurance £73
kids ISA £50
internet £26
If I ever want to go out by myself, I have to include babysitting costs. Recently just went to a friend for tea, that cost me £35 (babysitting plus a bottle of prosecco), just to go to play badmintno is around £25 (babysitting plus the fee)..
and then there are other costs like repairs, car tax, professional membership fee, other things that seem to come up a lot. Looking at my statements it's some cosmetics, some days out with kids, some babysitting fees, and then repairs mostly.
I never seem to have any money left at the end of the month, I literary have around £200 in savings, can't afford to take kids on holidays or anything, except for camping.
I've also started a side hustle and had to buy a few things for that before it makes money, but this just means more work. my kids want my attention, but i have little energy left for anything.

I'm a bit burnt out with it all and not sure what's best to do. Any advice would be welcome!!

I don't think you should move. The mortgage is reasonable given your salary and I think this does not get to the root of the issue which is the invisible spending that is happening without you realising. Also the upheaval of moving house cannot be underestimated as well as changing school for your DC.

I completely sympathise with your situation, but with 2 children the main areas I would concentrate on are:

• Removing the cost of gift giving to DC/immediate family - instead keep cards
• pay for car insurance yearly and use comparison sites
• review energy usage, heat the person not the home, close doors etc to retain heat
• remove or reduce DC pocket money - you can buy sweets in the supermarket shop.
• reduce amount of clubs to 1 per week for each DC until your financial position improves

@Pinkfemme1 for what it's worth I would honestly do what I did with my friend when she asked for a bit of advice - take a random month - say May - split out your bank statement totally- I used a colour highlighted pen and coded- so actual bills one colour-
Petrol another, supermarkets another- trips out another - cafes , coffees, presents another - obviously it's easier if you tend not to draw cash and use your card - it was easy to see where the money was going

Since then she changed behaviours - in her case

Only 3 coffees out a week ( and no cake etc)

No more than 1 trip a week - so bowling, wall climbing , swimming etc - 1 of them- not all 3 and no automatic maccy Ds etc afterwards- take nibbles and fruit or cereal bars etc with you

Keep good meals in freezer, and do a bit of batch cooking if you like cooking- always have a few good quality pizzas in

Maccy Ds , KFC etc - no more than once every couple of weeks.

Explain to kids that if you cut down a bit you are more likely to be able to afford holidays, extra days out in school holidays -

Don't give in to pester power -

limit any gifts to tokens, bars of chocolate, nice biscuits etc - nothing more than £3 or £4

Don't automatically offer to pay for others - as you've seen people don't always return the favour- if you are taking others out then mention to parent 'I'm going to xxx - will be £8 etc' -

Sounds tight but I've learnt from experience (I'm 62). I used to be incredibly generous and was taken for a mug-

You actually do have quite a bit of spare income if you set yourself targets- also a good one is to have 2 days a week where the challenge is that you don't spend at all

Posted too early-

• meal plan - I buy online with a delivery pass and keep top up shops to a minimum. Always include cheaper oven meals/beans on toast/egg and chips

• keep a budget and headline all areas and aww where excess salary/income is going.

-buyer cheaper brands of food/make up

Your kids love you, please do not feel you need to give in to every whim. You are enough, and it is a good life lesson for children to learn they cannot have everything they want.

Good luck, I hope you manage to make some positive changes.

I don’t know the areas at all but is there not a middle ground at say £200-£250k which will reduce your mortgage and bills b it still be close. Maybe not but from your budget I think if that’s a possibility that’s the best option!

Thank you very much everyone, I really appreciate all the thoughtful advice ❤️❤️ Lots to think about!

OP you’re doing so well supporting yourself and your kids and without much help from their dad too. Moving isn’t the answer here, especially as the two areas you’re suggesting aren’t really comparable (I know them) and would be a drastic lifestyle change, and neither is getting rid of the poor cat!

Much better to get a grip on the “unaccounted for” part of your budget first - eg excessively generous hosting, gifts, trampoline parks etc (I like the idea of setting a budget and letting the kids choose as a PP suggested) before you consider uprooting and all the costs involved with moving. I say this without judgement, as I know it’s how I waste money too. For me it’s to over-compensate for a time when finances were extremely tight, for you it sounds as if it’s to try to make it appear to everyone (yourself included) that nothing has changed since the divorce.

I’d suggest looking up Emma Edwards (“the broke generation” on insta and she also has a book “good with money.”) She talks about the psychology of spending and it’s interesting stuff - might help you reframe your thinking a bit!

I do know that impulse to give lush presents so you don't seem as broke, but there are ways round it. I have to say that I never gave a teacher present in ds's time at school except 2 cards for really exceptional teachers, and 3 bottles of wine to teachers who took him on residential school trips.

Try to get into the habit of putting yellow sticker stuff into the freezer so that you have low cost low effort meals for those nights when you're on your knees. Also, scrambled eggs on toast with frozen peas, or sardines on toast with tomato slices is a great meal. Get a lot more basic in the food you offer - more jacket potatoes and toasted sandwiches. It may be the last thing you can face, but growing some simple food is a good thing - a pack of cut-and-come-again lettuce seeds in a windowbox-type tray will give you a pefectly adequate vegetable for several meals through the summer at minimal cost or effort.

I'm a big fan of the cash envelope system for when you've set a budget. It really helps to see where you are overspending on things like food. But in particular would it help to set a budget for 'fun' and take out that money in cash for the month. The children can then see exactly what they have to spend and what's left e.g. if they do an expensive day out then they only have a smaller amount for the rest of the month and free activities might be needed. Your children need to share into and own the money saving. It'll teach them valuable skills for the future

Batch cook, use a slow cooker & make say a massive load of spag bol, have one meal, freeze half of what is left, then add chilli, spices & kidney beans to what is left to make chilli, three nights meals from one batch. Shop at somewhere like Farmfoods, I used to buy loads from there, their bacon is £6 for 3 16 rasher packs, pizzas £1.50, ideal for movie nights, their frozen fish & veg are excellent, they also sell things like table sauces, ketchup, salad cream etc cheaper than big supermarkets, sugar, tinned stuff, breakfast cereals, cans & bottles of pop, biscuits, cleaning stuff, kitchen & toilet rolls, you often gen a leaflet through the door with money off vouchers & do a savings scheme where you can buy stamps every week towards Christmas.

@Pinkfemme1

I’d feel awful to get rid of the cat as she has health issues and was a rescue already 😢
also the activities, although might have to narrow them down a bit
......,,,,,,,,,,,,
Don't think I could either (own advice lol)
But sounds like you've got some great advice here so it won't come ti that.

We just bought a large trampoline for £180, maybe an investment and keeps them wtih their mates at home?

Are you using too good to go app? We get some nice bits off there and feels like treats we wouldn't buy otherwise somewhere

Have you heard of Breeze? Free days out and events for leeds residents 🙂

I think you need goals to motivate you to make these changes so looking at your initial post I would suggest being able to save 2 months worth of salary for emergencies, £50 for a night out once a month and being able to take the dcs on a weeks’ holiday in the summer.

I agree with others that once established these changes become habits and you’ll wonder how you manage to spend so much money on nothing in particular.

The easy wins from your list are checking whether you can pay less for your regular bills by shopping around. Stop all gifts to adults and regularly look in charity shops for brand new items which will be suitable for a children’s presents and build up a reserve.

Get your dcs to help out them sorting through their old clothes, shoes and toys and listing them on Vinted for you. You say your rich friends all do this so no shame in also buying second hand as well.

Meal plan for the week and do an online shop that way you’re less tempted to impulse buy. The supermarket apps also have the special offers so stock on non perishables like toiletries, cleaners, tinned food, washing powder then.

Stop buying anything you don’t need and take a pack lunch, snacks, drinks to work and on days out. When I was young and single I’d happily spend £5 for lunch and another on coffees in one day almost everyday. Stop all subscriptions and see if you actually miss any of them..

https://studenthomestay.co.uk/host-family/

In my location you are looking at £200 a week and maybe a student for 3 months of the year

Id par everything back to basics

900 Mortgage
120 Council Tax
230 Electric and gas
50 water
43 internet and phone
?house and contents insurance
70 Car insurance and MOT
95 Children's scouts, piano etc
£1465 total

Out of an income of £3100 that leaves you

£1635 to spend as you wish or save as you wish - but you have more left over for choice spending than you do for mostly non choice spending

Then look seriously at what else you can get rid of

£73 life insurance with critical illness is massive expensive
vets is for now but don't get another pet unless its a gerbil or gold fish

TV licence - get rid of live streaming and just use catch up for everything bar BBC

Trampoline parks, ice skating and aqua parks are all very expensive activities. I'd limit those to once a month and I'd intoduce Brownies, Cubs/Scouts, ordinary swim sessions with shoots and flumes which is so much cheaper than the aqua park. A picnic in the park maybe meet up with their friends, take a football or tennis rackets and ball. You can really cut back on so many expensive activities for your DC.

Can’t help with the budgeting but there are lots of ways to make a bit extra. Bank switching if you haven’t already. A relatively easy £700 or so to be made that way depending on what accounts you already have.

I also have two referral links to make an extra £70 for ten minutes of your time opening two bank accounts. Zing HSBC banking app is currently running a refer a friend where we both get £20 and you can then refer others on to earn £20 per referral. My link is here if any interest or feel free to message to talk you through it. You’re invited to join Zing – the worry-free international money app – and get £20. Eligible for 18+ UK Residents only. T&Cs apply. https://zing.me/referrals?referralCode=NjM3NDVkZjEtNzYzZi0zZDc0LWEzYjQtNjU2ZTZjYTQ5Mzg3
Create the account, spend £5 on the digital card (I bought an Amazon voucher for myself) and within 30 days you’ll get £20 for free. You can refer on as soon as you’ve opened your account. It takes 5 mins.
Also have a Monzo referral for £50. You can then refer on 3 others too for £50 each referral. I only have 3 spaces so if any interest please feel free to message.