please critic my budget and give ideas, what would you do??

[Pinkfemme1]

I'd love some advice about my situation.
I'm a single mum with 2 school age kids, who I have full time
My current yearly salary is 50k, I get child benefit and some hit and miss child maintenance of around £150 a month (he is self-employed, it's impossible to challenge that)
After taxes and pension contributions I have around £3100 a month
£140 k left to pay on mortgage, house worth around £300k, so around £160k in equity. Where I live (Leeds) I could in theory get a house for that price (160k), but it would mean moving to a much less desirable area, smaller house, away from support network and kids' school.
However I currently pay almost £900 in mortgage a month and then
council tax £120
electricity and gas £230
phone £17
car inc £65
petrol £100
food £300-400
cat food, vet etc. £100
kids afterschool activities £95
water £50
tv licence £14
life insurance £73
kids ISA £50
internet £26
If I ever want to go out by myself, I have to include babysitting costs. Recently just went to a friend for tea, that cost me £35 (babysitting plus a bottle of prosecco), just to go to play badmintno is around £25 (babysitting plus the fee)..
and then there are other costs like repairs, car tax, professional membership fee, other things that seem to come up a lot. Looking at my statements it's some cosmetics, some days out with kids, some babysitting fees, and then repairs mostly.
I never seem to have any money left at the end of the month, I literary have around £200 in savings, can't afford to take kids on holidays or anything, except for camping.
I've also started a side hustle and had to buy a few things for that before it makes money, but this just means more work. my kids want my attention, but i have little energy left for anything.

I'm a bit burnt out with it all and not sure what's best to do. Any advice would be welcome!!

Girl friends you want to see for dinner.

You be honest "I'm really feeling the pinch" I'll cook dinner are you ok to bring the booze" then you do something in advance like lasagne so if they cancel it can live in the freezer.

Taking the DC out, you set a budget for the month - they can do an expensive thing once a month, then a cheaper thing twice a month but that will be with a picnic/snacks not eating out. Give them the power of the choice. If they pester you pull them up about them having made their choice and you can't afford it all.

I would look at moving to a cheaper to run home if it ticks other boxes and after all the other fees you will save money. Is downsizing even a possibility?

If entertaining, buy food that you can freeze/eat yourselves if people cancel.

Get better friends. Yours sound terrible, unreliable and showy. Who wants to keep up with all that? The time and waste in giving a load of unwanted gifts is enough to all and sundry to not get involved in it all, without even thinking about the costs.

What about 2 for 1 offers for theme parks etc? It's rare that you have to pay full price, there's almost always a way of getting entry cheaper.

I’m really sorry to hear that, it really shouldn’t be like this 😢

Every outgoing you itemised apart from council tax is higher than mine (comfortable life, no need to reduce much).

Personally I'd just cut the life insurance by half, food by half, go sim only when phone contract runs out and get new internet deal.

Will save approx £250 per month

And I pay £300 pmm small two bed bungalow. Sitting now with electric blanket on, tumble dryer has done 5 loads today. Oven not been on since Christmas day, we are all different

Thank you, sensible advice. It’s my fault for trying to keep ip tbh, I have friends who are in much better financial positions to me, yet I’m behaving as if I wasn’t. I think i still haven’t fully adjusted since the divorce and not fully accepting the reality.

I've got more extravagant as I've got older, but when DC were young and money was tighter, I always had water, breadsticks and grapes in my bag. I considered it a real failure if I had to buy a drink or snack while we were out. Those things really add up.

It really is true that if you look after the pennies the pounds look after themselves.

Sounds tough OP. I would contact CMS again, nothing to lose by doing that. I certainly would not be in a rush to move due to the stress and costs involved in doing so. I think you then need to account for every single penny that you spend and see exactly where it is going. YNAB is mentioned a lot on here but I’m definitely more a look at bank details and write stuff down on paper kind of person! This would be easier if you paid for as much stuff as possible with a card so you have a record of where you have spent stuff.
Why are you using heating in July? Just make everyone put on more layers! Agree work out which appliances are using the most electricity and pushing that bill so high. What are the air purifiers for? Would an air fryer reduce oven use and save money?
Definitely stop all the gifts to coaches etc and replace with a sincere message in a card. Whilst the kids might like skating, waterparks etc then such expensive days out need to be rationed that way they remain a treat and do not become an expectation. Also agree that perhaps the spend on kids ISAs could be paused or perhaps reduce to £50 between the two not £50 each. If its cash then still plenty of time for compound interest to allow it to grow.
Good luck with it all as your love for the kids shines through your post.

Write down every penny you spend so you can see what you're spending your money on. Then see what you can reduce eg drinks and snacks when out (take your own), clothes (is it really needed?), hairdresser (can you go longer between appts) etc.

I think you could definitely reduce phone bill - we are all on the £8pm giff gaff rate - also utilities. Try meal planning for food as well, make double and freeze. Kids ISA can be stopped for a while too. Buy preloved kids clothes where possible - I've saved a fortune using Vinted.

Thank you, that’s very sensible advice. Moving would be changing local area, to a more deprived part of the city, away from the babysitter etc and the school. Smaller place for sure.
im really feeling the pick- why would I just struggle to say this, there is something wrong with me, I totally agree it would be sensible and fair as everyone else asks to bring stuff
setting the budget for days out is a very good idea. We seem to go over budget when we are all tired eg I took them for a pizza as was too late and exhausted to cook, that was £25 just like that

Stop buying teachers gifts, three of my friends are school teachers and a lot of stuff gets sent to the charity shop.

Really scrutinise your life insurance, critical illness cover does not cover every eventuality and is sometimes a rip off. DH has decent life insurance and it was only £35 per month, it did not inc critical illness. Plus what is your workplace illness policy.

Your kids may like but it doesn’t mean they have to get, plus all the stuff they like be very careful that they don’t view anything exciting if stuff like that is regular. Even the old NT malarkey, just take them to the local park. Plus kids do need to be bored and make their own amusement sometimes.

I'd stop the ISA contributions and put the sporadic maintenance in there instead

Track everything. There are apps for that. It makes it much easier when you can look at your expenditure in detail. E.g. if you can see that you spent 25 on coffees last month, it feels more real. It will be more obvious if there are things you can cut. (I agree gifts should be cut - make cards for people instead. Also stop buying treats for the kids - they can spend their pocket money on haribo, you don't have to get it for them.)

Check out moneysavingexpert for advice on how to get the cheapest tarrifs for literally everything. You might need to spend a whole day doing it, but you could potentially save 100s by changing providers for different things.

You say you've only got 1.5 years left on your mortgage, so presumably when that's paid off, you'll be 900 or so better off every month.

Kids don't need expensive days out. Take them to parks, forests, rivers etc and look for animals, build dens and so on. It's fun, good for them (and you!) and it's free. Skate parks or whatever can be treats a couple of times a year.

Stop paying into the kids' ISAs and put that money in your own savings (high interest) so you have a contingency fund.

Another thing you can try is no-spend days. I try to have at least two days every week where I don't spend any money at all, on anything. It just makes you more conscious about not spending money on rubbish.

Sorry I meant 1,5 hrs on current mortgage deal, I have 27 years left on mortgage lol
thank you for the other advice v sensible

There's loads of free outdoor skate parks in Leeds (and the mountain bike trails in Middleton woods) - do you go to these?

We seem to go over budget when we are all tired eg I took them for a pizza as was too late and exhausted to cook, that was £25 just like that

You could get a couple of nicer supermarket pizzas for less than half that - there's often £10/12 meal deals that also include things like mozzarella sticks that would be plenty for the three of you. It takes no effort at all to put the food in the oven and it means you get to relax at home instead of having to sit nicely in a restaurant.

Oh, sorry! I misunderstood.

Hopefully you will be able to get a better deal at that point. Definitely don't think moving is the best idea at the moment, though. I would see about insulating your house better though - again, check on moneysavingexpert what others have done re. this.

I’m so sorry I have t quite RTFT but this stood out - if the house is that big that your heating bills are so high, could you downsize somewhere smaller in the same area with a smaller mortgage? I know you said the equity could buy you something outright slightly further away but is there a middle ground of a smaller house and mortgage?

I buy most of my clothes on Vinted now and choose those that are hardly worn. I also sell anything I don’t need, fit into or just fed up with. All in all for the past year I’ve spent nothing on clothes except new underwear and essential footwear which have been paid for by my sales. I do live where I can post and collect a parcel on my way to and from work though

Get rid of the cat and the after school activities.
Stay in your hours and pay your mortgage
Reassess life insurance
Mine is 36 for 2 of us.
It will get easier x

@Pinkfemme1 I know you are finding it tough, but I think you're doing well.

Sad to say, it's the measly £150 from your ex that's scuppering you. Is there no way to increase that? That's really ridiculously low.

I don't think you should move. You say you have a large house; I don't think you should move to either a smaller house or a cheaper area.

Do you have a spare room? You could take in a female lodger?

How long is the term in your mortgage? You could extend it to bring your monthly payments down.

Other than that I think your bills etc look ok, but there is a lot unaccounted for. I understand though, I'm the same. It's make-up and coffees etc etc. you have to live.

I think the most impactful action would be to understand where all your money goes. Track every spend for a few months at least, preferably for ever! Then you can properly assess where to save, you have hundreds unaccounted for. Then set a budget, ideally that includes some savings (say £200pm) and track against it. Include everything, house maintenance, gifts, everything.

Immediate actions I would take are to ditch the kids' ISAs, your own savings are more important, and the teacher gifts. Also to get some quick, cheap emergency meals in the freezer for when you are tired and running late, plus resist pressure for junk / branded / overpriced food items.

Get a halogen oven or air fryer to save turning on the big oven . I’ve had a halogen for years and only use the main oven about 10x a year , it does save quite a bit of electric as it doesn’t need pre heating . I find a halogen more useful than an air fryer . Ignore the poster who said to ditch the cat and activities , there are better ways to save without ruining your enjoyment of life .

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Use this budget planner to (honestly) work out your income and expenditure. You have a healthy income, so shouldn’t be able to manage.

My thoughts are are

• pause the kids isa - they’re a luxury
• life insurance seems high

I actually think your energy and foods bills seem reasonable in the current climate.

Sometimes volunteering at kids clubs can help reduce costs as well (and may make them free).

Don’t get rid of the cat he/she is a sentinel animal and is part of your family and for which you have a responsibility towards. Could you source any medications they need for cheaper instead perhaps online with your vets prescription?
Consider cheaper after school activities such as sports run by the school and cubs/ brownies

We do go to the free ones as well, I need to do more of that now it’s warmer