please critic my budget and give ideas, what would you do??

[Pinkfemme1]

I'd love some advice about my situation.
I'm a single mum with 2 school age kids, who I have full time
My current yearly salary is 50k, I get child benefit and some hit and miss child maintenance of around £150 a month (he is self-employed, it's impossible to challenge that)
After taxes and pension contributions I have around £3100 a month
£140 k left to pay on mortgage, house worth around £300k, so around £160k in equity. Where I live (Leeds) I could in theory get a house for that price (160k), but it would mean moving to a much less desirable area, smaller house, away from support network and kids' school.
However I currently pay almost £900 in mortgage a month and then
council tax £120
electricity and gas £230
phone £17
car inc £65
petrol £100
food £300-400
cat food, vet etc. £100
kids afterschool activities £95
water £50
tv licence £14
life insurance £73
kids ISA £50
internet £26
If I ever want to go out by myself, I have to include babysitting costs. Recently just went to a friend for tea, that cost me £35 (babysitting plus a bottle of prosecco), just to go to play badmintno is around £25 (babysitting plus the fee)..
and then there are other costs like repairs, car tax, professional membership fee, other things that seem to come up a lot. Looking at my statements it's some cosmetics, some days out with kids, some babysitting fees, and then repairs mostly.
I never seem to have any money left at the end of the month, I literary have around £200 in savings, can't afford to take kids on holidays or anything, except for camping.
I've also started a side hustle and had to buy a few things for that before it makes money, but this just means more work. my kids want my attention, but i have little energy left for anything.

I'm a bit burnt out with it all and not sure what's best to do. Any advice would be welcome!!

That seems to be hard, the smaller houses in the area are only cheaper if they back to back, or kids would have to share a room or a flat, or areas considered much less safe or no parking. But this is what’s been on my mind a lot

I think this is a good point. People who have money around here, seem to be selling a lot of their items, whereas me and less wealthy friends seem to be just giving away stuff all the time, also because I see it as another hassle to sell.. but need to shop more on Vinted for sure. My older child seems to get a lot of stuff new as it is often just easier, but I need to stop that. He destroys shoes and trousers v quickly

I’d feel awful to get rid of the cat as she has health issues and was a rescue already 😢
also the activities, although might have to narrow them down a bit

Thanks everyone, I’m going to sit down and look into some of those Ideas in more detail!!
if anyone is in leeds and want a cat, pm me ( just kidding;))

Of course you don't get rid of the cat unless you cannot reasonably meet their needs and in which please look at a rescue.

If your house is big and cold would it be worth making the decision to move to something smaller and easier to heat in the same area?

When friends come over, a pan of chilli or a few good supermarket pizzas and a fruit crumble or shop bought cake for pudding should do the job. I hope they're bringing wine/beer!

Don't bother with presents for teachers/club leaders - get the kids to write a card, or if you really want to do presents, a bar of chocolate or packet of nice biscuits is plenty.

You can't let your kids dictate all the time - visits to trampoline parks, theme parks, cinema etc are special treats, not every day activities.

Meal plan, shop with a list.
MSE is fantastic for information and resources.

I mean would your quality of life be better being more financially comfortable but less space or stretched but more space? That answer is going to vary depending on your family!

Some ideas - I pay £5 a month for Lebara sim card only that includes roaming, £50 life insurance a month wih Scottish Widows and less for food and gas (3 people household).

I think it would, but it’s not just space though it’s the area, so for instance this is an example of a house that would be affordable, but life would be very different living somewhere like this https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/map.html?locationIdentifier=OUTCODE%5E1533&maxPrice=170000&minPrice=130000&numberOfPropertiesPerPage=499&radius=3.0&sortType=1&propertyTypes=&viewType=MAP&mustHave=&dontShow=&furnishTypes=&viewport=-1.52192%2C-1.50582%2C53.8071%2C53.8219&keywords=

this is similar property to what we have now
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/150096458#/?channel=RES_BUY

there are other issues with our house, but this would be a big change, although being mortgage free would be a dream

You are doing very well and I think the advice to write down everything you spend will be a real help.

Cutting out coffees, snacks, gifts etc does really add up! Try that alongside writing down the costs.

My teens are starting to cost me a lot so it’s a good idea to get this all clear before your kids grow bigger

I have a lovely friend on similar income with similar costs and what always struck me was that she's a very generous person- she's always the one offering to pay or like you likes getting little gifts for everyone and his mother- she also is constantly doing something with her child (she only has1) nearly all paid stuff to the extent that the child has come to expect constant 'fun' and she also isn't good at entertaining them if not 'out there' or at encouraging the child to be able to self entertain - I wonder if you might be a bit like this OP- as when we looked at all the extras she realised she was spending around £400 a month on this.

If you have space have you considered the rent a room scheme or AirBnb a spare room? Obviously with small kids at home you'd want to be very picky but you could easily get several hundred a month if you're near a major city. Lots of professionals need a M-F city base or you might find someone willing to baby sit one night a week in return for reduced rent.

Moving is not just about taking the equity and buying something outright - there are also all the costs - estate agents, solicitors, stamp duty, moving costs, commuting to primary if you want to stay in the same one. Then looking ahead to secondary schools. You would not get to use all of your equity to buy the next house. And there is a benefit to staying where your support network is. If you could buy something cheaper (and/or cheaper to run) in the same area, that would be a good move. If that's not possible, then do the maths to see whether a mortgage free move is actually possible.

I would look to move.
If you say yours is worth around £300k and it’s large in nice area, and you could buy smaller in worst area for £160k, isn’t there a middle ground?

I would keep looking for something in the same area you are, that’s a bit cheaper, and a bit smaller. Your heating bills will likely decrease, and less maintainance costs on a smaller property. See what’s on the market for £200-250k in same area.

I have a fairly large, badly insulated house, I use the tumble dryer almost daily, and have quite a lot of baths - my gas & electric is only £120 a month, I'm with Octopus

OP I didn't add the figures up myself but a PP said you should have about £7/800 (that's just what I remember) a month that you are spending on various things. That's another mortgage and you seem to be frittering it away every month. £8000 a year.

You need to meal plan. Meal planning means having things in the house you can cook and eat quickly if you come in tired instead of getting pizza. If that's pasta and pesto or similar thats fine for one night. £25 saved. Shop at cheaper shops, buy own brand if you're not doing so already. Especially for cleaning products and so on.

You hit the nail on the head when you said you are still living the lifestyle you had pre divorce. I've been there, not divorced but from earning quite a lot to not so much and in the beginning I was the same. This past year due to other stresses and being very busy, I stopped meal planning and being careful with what I bought and money just flew away. So I had to rein that in again.

I don't know what cosmetics you buy but I used to waste an enormous amount of money. Now I have a strict policy of looking online well before I run out of anything and snatching my products up when they are on offer, and it has to be a decent offer too. I often stock up on Black Friday, that kind of thing, and I save up for that before hand. I am the same with clothes and shoes, I watch prices for ages and pounce when what I want goes on sale or I can get a discount of some sort. Clothes and shoes have to be at least 30% off, preferably 40 or 50.

I get quite a lot of clothes in TK Maxx, useless if you're looking for something specific but good to keep an eye on.

Put aside the money for your social life at the beginning of the month, once it's gone that's it, no more until next month. If you're invited somewhere and you really have to go, or want to go, it has to come out of next month's budget.

I assume you are switching providers for everything as they come up every year.

I am, it’s very sad, but even when I got to relationships since divorce I ended up paying more at times, it’s generosity, but it’s also I don’t know… over functioning? not wanting to seem like a looser? Low self-esteem? And then all the other people seem to be able to go on proper holidays and here I am not being able to do anything 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ eg I paid for one of my friend’s child£30 to go somewhere with us, but this is a lot of money… the dad didn’t even offer to pay me as to them that’s nothing and I guess he might have thought that they also spent some money on my kids when they have mine, however they are in a very very different position.. also I do try and pay for them.. sometimes don’t know how to navigate these situations so just think it’s ok.. just money..

You've said wastage is an issue too. You and the DC spend time together at the weekend make some meals for the week ahead and ensure all the fresh stuff gets used up etc.

Frozen fruit like raspberries are mango are a good standby rather than too much fresh. Same with veg.

It can be cheaper to shop twice a week so long as you stick to a strict list of what you actually need.

We still just have a bedroom each, there isn’t a spare bedroom. So it’s not that large to be renting rooms. It has a conservatory downstairs so a bit larger downstairs

Stop kids savings you can't afford it. Move to Giffgaff or similar and get £10 SIM a month. I think Smarty even do £8 a month. Cut back on electric/gas. What on earth are you doing that uses so much? See if you can cut back on food. £100 a week seems high for just one adult and a couple of kids. Stop buying branded food. Move to own products. Your kids will get used to it after a while. Don't buy processed food. Save money by batch cooking and baking. Don't buy biscuits and crisps as not needed. Use a market to buy fruit as cheaper than supermarkets. Can you grow some things if you have a garden. I grow raspberries, have a couple of apple trees, grow tomatoes and salad leaves. The food is fresher and saves me money.

I have a Lloyds bank account and get 6 free cinema tickets each year. Can you sign up for things like that.

Also like ok put for free clubs/activities. Only yesterday I found 1 hour free tennis coaching every Tuesday evening until end of school holidays near to me. I've phoned and booked a space for my teen. Near me bowling is cheapest on a Wednesday. If ever he wants to go bowling I tell him I'll book it for Wednesday. Look out for 2 for 1 offers too. Can your DC go to Brownies/Guides as that is very cheap to do and they do different activities each week and go for the badges too.

What a brilliant idea. 👏

Homemade pizzas are fun to make, taste delicious and cost about £1.25 each one to make.

Hey OP, I'm going to say something controversial. I actually wouldn't worry too much about saving. If you can meet yours and your kids needs, you have a life insurance (v important when you are the lone responsible parent) and you are paying a mortgage for a house which is an asset in itself, well, I think you are doing well under difficult circumstances.

If you want to be a bit crafty with money, few small suggestions:

Line dry clothes if have a big house space - dryers are expensive to run
Switch to Lebara/giffgaff for a v cheap mobile deal
Sign up to local fb/freecycle groups. There is SO much good stuff there for free. We use too good to go for occasional treats from bakeries etc
Sell unwated/outgrown items on Vinted (I make about £20-30 a month)
Use school uniform banks

Ask for a payrise, or if in public sector, incremental increase! Women are terrible at valuing their work.

You're doing really well.