Work more, or move?

[rainbowduplo]

Looking for opinions and ideas on how we can organise our family lives and finances better (me, DS, DS5 and DD2).

DH works full time, we live on his salary. He's usually out from 8am-6pm. Minimal annual leave entitlement. I WFH 16 hours in a very flexible job which means I cover pick ups, drop offs, playdates, swimming lessons etc. During term times DD goes to childcare 2 days a week and I work. During the holidays I fit my hours in during the evenings so I'm around with the kids. Historically my salary = the childcare bill. We've been counting down to DD getting free hours, but the cost of living crises is already swallowing that extra money. We've been using savings to get by until her funding kicked in, and they're basically gone. We have no family. I've asked about increasing my hours but it isn't an option.

We're just about making ends meet having cut back across the board (swimming lessons are the last standing luxury and even they're on the chopping block), and feel like we need to make a change. The plan was for me to do this job until DD is 5, and then I'd go back to work FT. But we hadn't factored in the cost of living crises which is just making everything a squeeze. So wondering if we should be making a change now rather than scrimping for the next 3 years, and maybe beyond. But the solutions all seem to have problems attached. Perhaps you've been in a similar boat and can offer your experience.

The options we've come up with so far are:

1. I go back to FT work - feasibly I double my salary doing this. But we worked out that by the time we'd increased the childcare for DD, and paid for breakfast club, after school club, holiday clubs for DS that we'd take home something like an additional £150-200 per month. When you consider i'd be working working an extra 21 hours a week it works out that I'd be making £2.50 an hour. DD would have to change settings to one which is much less convenient to get to. Plus losing all the perks of WFH PT (time to do chores during the week etc so keep the weekends free for family time). I've no idea how to get a higher paid job. However, by getting on the ladder now it's likely that in the years to come my salary will increase incrementally, plus paying into pension etc, so there are longer term benefits to working more.
2. I get a second job - would need to be evenings and weekends, which again means much less time with the kids. Also not sure how this would work in the holidays as I basically work my current hours in the evenings then already. However, could work?! I've found one flexible job, maybe there's another!
3. Move to a cheaper area of the country. We live in a relatively affluent area and have quite a bit of equity in our house (but don't want to remortgage right now as we did it just before the interest rates went nuts and are keen to keep it as low as possible). If we moved to a significantly cheaper house, porting the mortgage, we'd gain a lump sum of money which we could use to pay off various debts, overpay on the mortgage (shortening the term) and use for day to day spends. Cost of living would be less overall, but our jobs are remote so our income wouldn't change. Seems like we'd be getting a better quality of life in the long run, though a huge upheaval in the short term.

DH is leaning heavily towards option 3. Then I can keep being around with the smalls for another few years until DD is established in school and old enough to be able to go to holiday clubs etc when needed (most start from age 5 around here, and that's not even for a full day). I'm struggling to disagree with him, but I love our life here so just want to make sure we've thought about everything before making such a huge leap. Trying to consider all the pros and cons of each option.

What would you do? Is there a 4th option I've not worked out yet?

I'd move to a nice but much cheaper area with good schooling. This is the option we are taking - smaller but still nice house and getting rid of the mortgage completely.

This is basically what DH wants to do. We could pay off our mortgage in 10 years rather than 30, even taking into account the costs of moving.

Where's your nice, cheap, good schooling area out of interest? DH is ping ponging all over the country in search for the perfect place. I've had to put some limits on him or he'd be moving us to the highlands! Whilst extremely pretty, I need some life around.

I would take the full time job or better a weekend and evenings job - dh could then manage the majority of additional childcare

Moving is expensive , getting jobs with the same level of income in a cheaper area is hard ( unless you can move quite close so you keep your current jobs ) and you in particular could end up isolated

Thanks for replying . Our jobs are remote, so we'd not have to change those. Income would stay the same, just all the external costs changing.

In our case DH also couldn't cover the extra childcare, we'd be reliant on paid wrap around care and holiday clubs. He travels a lot for work too, something i forgot to mention.

Appreciate moving is 'spenny though, not to mention a headache! Moving would also add an extra bedroom or reception room, and probably a second bathroom and garage space. So, whilst moving costs are great, we'd be gaining a lot of property.

Where are you now roughly? Cheap is relative!

We're in the north. Like op says - cheaper is relative. But compared to prices in some parts of the country it's very cheap.

Move somewhere cheaper.

I did.

It's an upheaval but working out well for me.

Near Bath atm, so a pretty affluent area. Our 3 (2.5) bed, 1 bathroom house is worth just over 400k.

DH has been looking around Middlesborough, Leeds, Harrogate, Newcastle etc where we could be in a 4 bed, 2 bathroom plus w.c with a utility room, garage, garden and have a significant amount remaining. He's looking at all sorts of stats and wants us to go up there over the summer holidays to check out the towns he's short listing. In the meantime I'm looking at jobs to see if I can resolve it that way, and then going to see which option looks best overall. We've spent a good deal of time in Yorkshire, Northumberland and the Lakes over the years, but it's different being on holiday somewhere to really considering moving. Also we tend to holiday on cheap campsites in very remote places, whereas would want to live in a a decent sized town or city.

Just wanted to check I wasn't missing an option I hadn't considered I suppose.

The North is huge! DH is looking up there though, he's statistic mad so he's looking at all sorts of demographics to narrow down some choices of towns for us to visit. Like we got told Tynemouth is beautiful with lots going on, good connections, great schools, but house prices are similar to here. There's lots of reading to do, and then visiting!

Thank you :)

It's looking like the most sensible option. Just wanted some additional opinions I guess, hard not having family around to spitball things with sometimes. And friends round here just tell us to stay 😂 which is lovely, but not very objective!

How much of a lump sum would you end up with if you move?

I wouldn’t be in a rush to pay off the mortgage early, make sure this is something you want to do and not just your DH.

I would be tempted to try option 2 first, working Friday nights in a pub or restaurant would give you around £250 or more each month.

I’d be surprised if you could find a house in tynemouth for 400k

Have you and your DH actually gone and viewed housed and areas or is just willy nilly looking at bigger cheaper houses on the internet?

Completely willy nilly at the moment! But more looking at stats and mumsnet threads on moving to x, y and z than looking at individual houses. We've travelled around camping quite a bit, but I wouldn't base a decision to move on trips like that. We weren't looking at places with that in mind when we went to the Lakes, or Northumberland for example. He's working out a list of places we could visit over the next 6-8 months to get a feel for a create a shortlist from. His idea atm is that we'd have decided by the end of this year and time before next September to sell the house etc so DD could start school in the new location. Have mentioned about application deadlines in January and all that jazz but that's a lot of ducks to get in a row when we're starting from 'is this even a good idea?'

We don't have any ties to anywhere, no family we'd be moving closer to, the jobs move with us, so this research feels like the way to start until we can go up and look around. I do have one friend in Newcastle, she moved there from the home counties and loves it. She could afford Tynemouth though! Otherwise all our friends are in the South, from Guildford to Bristol. Few extended family members in Kent and Wiltshire, but those aren't feasible for obvious reasons. Also they're pretty distant relatives.

The lump sum figure is naturally dependant on how much we actually get for this place, moving costs and the new property price...but likely anywhere from £80k-130k. This wouldn't pay off our mortgage, but would mean we could make a series of overpayments over the next few years and either have it paid off by the time the kids are 18 or at least not be paying £1600 a month. Also means we could pay off other debts, put some into savings etc and have some money to do more on a day to day basis. Right now if we're not at work we're basically only doing cheap or free things, like going for walks with a picnic. He seems to think we'd have a lower overall monthly outgoing by moving, which would mean we could also afford to consider things like holidays abroad. Something which is definitely not possible right now.

Option 3. DDs a good age to move and if you haven't got family tying you to that area it seems like a no brainer to move.

Also I would shorten the time frame you hope to do this in as it's really important to meet the deadlines for the school entry.

In your shoes I'd do a shift in a care home once a month - say 8am till 6pm on a Sat, once a month, for an extra £120 or so.

You may not even have to move - your husband could do one too? You could childcare share with a woman friend, do the same Saturday as your husband, and return the favour to the woman friend later that same month, as a regular arrangement?

I love care work for this sort of thing. I work with autistic people, very little personal care. I spend two hour blocks of time with them doing what they like doing - go to the shop, watch TV, keep their flat clean, help them make a meal, sit down and play games with them or watch their choice of TV.

It's not always easy but that extra one shift a month is sometimes what I live on when the bills are high. I've known mums do that one shift to pay for their gym, their daughter at Uni etc.

Try option 3 and see how it goes
Property in better locations is always the first to rise and last to fall and easier to sell

IMO, from what u r saying you love the area - moving to a cheaper area will depress you imo. Unless you move to another part of town, another town and all places have their lower, middle and top-end properties

Dont forget, selling will cost you a few k's as well as buying

Good luck

@rainbowduplo We are Teesside based and couldn't ever imagine moving southerly as the housing etc here is so much for your money, Our 4 bed detached house, with 2 bathrooms and utility etc is valued at £250k. Good schools under 10 min walk and work is 2 miles form home so life balance is fabulous. 2 hour train to London, 3 airports within an hours drive.

Relatively - our salaries aren't amazing, but they give us a great quality of life for our money (£40k and £35k each) so absolutely cannot complain.

@QforCucumber I love your user name!

This is great info, thanks!! DH and I would be on similar to you if I go back FT (which is the plan in the next 3 years or so).

Middlesborough area is currently very much in his line of sight. He's looking from Hull to Newcastle trying to narrow down places to visit to get a feel for.

Thanks for taking the time to comment :)

Newcastle is lovely.

I looked at moving up there as I have relatives up there but they are moving.

You get a lot for your money and Newcastle is a decent city as well with lots on.

I stayed down south in the end but my relatives are moving to not too far from me.

Oh definitely option 3. You'll need to increase your hours at some point, but when you're in the most expensive time of your lives, this could be the way to make it easier on everyone.

Just don't forget how expensive it is to move, how stressful it is to settle into a new area, etc etc. Exciting! But temporarily pricey and stressful.

Yeah I've been trying to think of ways to avoid it, but it feels like the quickest way out of a bind. Will be short term stressful, and take a few years to get back to where we are now in terms of social life etc, but I think long run it's going to be the best decision.

Just need to find the energy to do it now!

Move somewhere cheaper