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Original poster

AIBU to think life is SHIT

54 replies

Champers66 · 22/02/2024 17:15

Can’t elaborate much more on that- other than, life is literally shit. ‘Money doesn’t make you happy’ is the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever heard.

I work full time- so does my husband. Our wages haven’t changed (increased) in a long time, I have a trade and I work for a shitty company who pay me literally minimum wage for my job (leaving! Going SE)

m my husband is self employed so some weeks are better than others. We have 2 DC- DS 8 and 6 month.

we pay all our bills every month, with a huge struggle, and are left with nothing. Or bare minimum, and monthly I get emails from suppliers saying they are putting their bills up. Surely there has to be a conflab between them to discuss the fact they are increasing COL but wages stay the same..? I don’t know how they expect people to survive without losing their home, or killing themselves!

I rent- and yes I should have listened to my mum and saved from teenage years, but I didn’t, n now I have absolutely no way of getting on the property ladder. I don’t expect people to subsidise me- of course not- but just feels like the government and companies who provide services we have to pay for (not optional expenses!) are literally doing all they can to ensure they cripple people and their families.

even basic food shopping to feed my kids is unaffordable and I shop at aldi and freeze everything in sight!

I feel sorry for my 2 kids and I actually feel guilty for bringing them into this world. How bad is that.

YABU - it’s my fault I should have made better choices
YANBU - stop the world I want to get off.

OP posts:
WalkingThroughTreacle · 22/02/2024 17:23

I get you. I've been there and it was hard. All you can do is your best to unshit it. I won't say it's your fault because life isn't as simple as that and I won't vote for "stop the world I want to get off" because that isn't an option. You can't change the past but you can try and change your future so do the best you can.

If it helps, 26 years ago my youngest child came into the world. We were dirt poor. We were in a rented bare flat with no carpets or curtains and our bed was an inflatable mattress with a slow puncture. I was earning less than minimum wage and my now wife wasn't earning at all. It was really hard but we worked through it as a team. I've built a career for myself, we've now raised our kids (well I believe), we have money in the bank and own our own home. You will get there too as long as you refuse to give up.

Owls912 · 22/02/2024 17:44

YANBU we are in the same position and I have no advice or support other than to say I totally get where you’re coming from . It’s so bleak .

FunionsRFun · 22/02/2024 17:48

People who say money doesn't buy happiness have never had to worry about where tonight's meal is going to come from.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 22/02/2024 17:57

YANBU it’s all shit! The problem is that all the things that have gone up are essentials. We’ll non-essentials probably have gone up too but I wouldn’t know as we can’t afford them anymore 🙈.

HolyGuacamole28 · 22/02/2024 18:05

It’s a total shitshow. My anxiety is through the roof.

Smartiepants79 · 22/02/2024 18:08

Well there is a level at which more money doesn’t buy you more happiness but it’s a pretty high one.
Is there hope that going self employed will improve your income?

ssd · 22/02/2024 18:20

Life these days is much harder than 25 years ago.
Due to the selling off if council housing. And now we have more renters in the private sector getting ripped off.

RightOnTheEdge · 22/02/2024 18:22

Oh OP, I'm really fed up today as well.

I'm a lone parent and I just got a letter from British Gas saying they are putting my dd up by £100. I've honestly no idea where I'm going to find it.
I work in hospitality and they are cutting everyone's hours down to the bone.

Before the letter came I was determined to cut down everything as much as possible so I could save up to get driving but now I've no chance that I'll have any spare money.

I live in a small town which is all pubs charity shops and hairdressers/barbers.
If I could drive I'd have more choices of better jobs but I can't afford to drive because my work keep cutting my hours and the price of groceries and electricity are crippling me.

tryingtogetinshape · 22/02/2024 19:13

Life is hard but it will get better.
Im happy in my bubble.

Mushroo · 22/02/2024 19:41

Agree it’s crap.

I know it’s not the same but it’s so stark it’s worth mentioning.

I was going through some old photos on my phone and I found a quote for our honeymoon (2019). We paid £3k for both of us, I had a look out of interest and the same dates now would be £4.5k.

I know that’s a complete luxury but the increase is insane. Our wages have barely moved. No way could we afford it now.

We’re now struggling to make ends meet!

Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:46

WalkingThroughTreacle · 22/02/2024 17:23

I get you. I've been there and it was hard. All you can do is your best to unshit it. I won't say it's your fault because life isn't as simple as that and I won't vote for "stop the world I want to get off" because that isn't an option. You can't change the past but you can try and change your future so do the best you can.

If it helps, 26 years ago my youngest child came into the world. We were dirt poor. We were in a rented bare flat with no carpets or curtains and our bed was an inflatable mattress with a slow puncture. I was earning less than minimum wage and my now wife wasn't earning at all. It was really hard but we worked through it as a team. I've built a career for myself, we've now raised our kids (well I believe), we have money in the bank and own our own home. You will get there too as long as you refuse to give up.

Thanks for this- these responses are what make me think, and make me look at things differently. I really am trying to make a better life for us, me and my husband have very different views on money and sometimes that doesn’t help, he’s so optimistic.. like a ‘we will manage’ type of guy.. maybe he’s right! You sound like you have done a great job i life. I hope I grow older with my kids older, and I feel the same as you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:48

Mushroo · 22/02/2024 19:41

Agree it’s crap.

I know it’s not the same but it’s so stark it’s worth mentioning.

I was going through some old photos on my phone and I found a quote for our honeymoon (2019). We paid £3k for both of us, I had a look out of interest and the same dates now would be £4.5k.

I know that’s a complete luxury but the increase is insane. Our wages have barely moved. No way could we afford it now.

We’re now struggling to make ends meet!

Yeah I get you- but a honeymoon is a special time, and it’s depressing to think that you can’t work all year and even just afford to do that once in a lifetime thing. I think sometimes I don’t think outside the box, my main problem and what really makes me angry, is the lack of pay going to people who work really fucking hard, but the amount of increases without anyone batting an eyelid. I honestly think people will take their own lives!

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 22/02/2024 19:48

Don't be scared to use the food bank if you need to feed your family. That's what it's for. Life is tough for many.

Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:51

RightOnTheEdge · 22/02/2024 18:22

Oh OP, I'm really fed up today as well.

I'm a lone parent and I just got a letter from British Gas saying they are putting my dd up by £100. I've honestly no idea where I'm going to find it.
I work in hospitality and they are cutting everyone's hours down to the bone.

Before the letter came I was determined to cut down everything as much as possible so I could save up to get driving but now I've no chance that I'll have any spare money.

I live in a small town which is all pubs charity shops and hairdressers/barbers.
If I could drive I'd have more choices of better jobs but I can't afford to drive because my work keep cutting my hours and the price of groceries and electricity are crippling me.

I feel you. Honestly I do- if it makes you feel any better, I trained for 5 years to complete 2 levels in hairdressing, I’m 36, and I’m on the actual exact minimum wage for my age. It’s long hard hours for very little reward, I just feel so angry that I work my arse off and get paid, then every penny goes out to other people.. and some months we still haven’t got enough to cover the bills. We are £600 in debit on our gas and electric, but we pay £170 per month, when it was really cold, I had just had my baby, he’s 5 months now but I spent a lot
of time just walking around shopping centres so I didn’t have to sit in my house and put the heating on. It’s shambolic and the government need to act x

OP posts:
Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:54

Vettrianofan · 22/02/2024 19:48

Don't be scared to use the food bank if you need to feed your family. That's what it's for. Life is tough for many.

I would definitely consider these- they are very helpful and a godsend to many. I am blessed to have family who help us if we ask (which I hate to do!) but I am also quite good at buying lots of frozen things so I know we always have something in the freezer. Sometimes though, honestly, if I know I’ve taken meat out, and there’s say 2 chicken breast, I’ll just give them to my son and husband, and I’ll have soup or something, it just makes me sad that we both work and it has come to this. Granted I’m on maternity now- but it was much the same before, worse now! Dreading childcare fees!

OP posts:
5thCommandment · 22/02/2024 19:55

Mushroo · 22/02/2024 19:41

Agree it’s crap.

I know it’s not the same but it’s so stark it’s worth mentioning.

I was going through some old photos on my phone and I found a quote for our honeymoon (2019). We paid £3k for both of us, I had a look out of interest and the same dates now would be £4.5k.

I know that’s a complete luxury but the increase is insane. Our wages have barely moved. No way could we afford it now.

We’re now struggling to make ends meet!

Looking at inflation over the last 4 years it would be about 4,200, so it's not massively off. The issue is wage growth in most cases hasn't matched inflation. Brexit and the war have a lot to answer for. What shocks me the most is the food increases and reduced choices (brexit again) but the last two years of inflation have been shocking. It will take a decade to recover sadly.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 22/02/2024 19:55

I'm torn as I don't believe that having money solves all your problems and makes your blissfully happy, but it definitely makes life massively easier, and by default, and therefore its easier to get happy.

I'm sorry things are so hard for everyone, I'm counting down the years till we don't have to pay for childcare anymore, that will help things for us not paying the equivalent of our mortgage to nursery!

JanuaryBirthdays · 22/02/2024 19:56

Yep. Agreed. We work so hard to be so skint. We've now accrued debt with our energy supplier and more recently our water company. Our rent has gone up. Our savings are all gone. We've had to go to food banks. I hate it.
The idea that if you work hard enough you'll reap the rewards isn't working any more.
Something has to change. It's soul destroying.

Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:56

ssd · 22/02/2024 18:20

Life these days is much harder than 25 years ago.
Due to the selling off if council housing. And now we have more renters in the private sector getting ripped off.

Yes and I’m one of the lucky ones.. well luckyish.. my auntie knows the landlord so we pay 525 for a 3 bed house. However it’s in a bad state, Damp etc, and the area is so rough.. I can’t let my son play out. I am not a jealous person usually, but I can’t even bring myself to visit my friends who live in lovely big houses in new estates because I feel so sad.. I have become someone I don’t know.

OP posts:
Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:57

JanuaryBirthdays · 22/02/2024 19:56

Yep. Agreed. We work so hard to be so skint. We've now accrued debt with our energy supplier and more recently our water company. Our rent has gone up. Our savings are all gone. We've had to go to food banks. I hate it.
The idea that if you work hard enough you'll reap the rewards isn't working any more.
Something has to change. It's soul destroying.

100% agree I’m so sorry you are also going through this. I hope for better days for you, and for us all x

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 22/02/2024 19:57

And everyone apologizes now for the smallest of luxuries. Like having a holiday, or a meal out.

It's sad.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 22/02/2024 19:59

The idea that if you work hard enough you'll reap the rewards isn't working any more.
Something has to change. It's soul destroying.

I fully agree with this, and think that's why there are some of the older generation don't understand how so many people can't afford to buy property. They think they aren't working hard enough, but thats simply not true

Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:59

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 22/02/2024 19:55

I'm torn as I don't believe that having money solves all your problems and makes your blissfully happy, but it definitely makes life massively easier, and by default, and therefore its easier to get happy.

I'm sorry things are so hard for everyone, I'm counting down the years till we don't have to pay for childcare anymore, that will help things for us not paying the equivalent of our mortgage to nursery!

I agree with you there- I recognise my blessings, lovely supportive family, gorgeous kids and my husbands alright sometimes ha ha bless him he’s also lovely, I just sometimes over analyse the lives of others and.. dare I say it.. wish I was them.. but then who would i be without my family and friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Champers66 · 22/02/2024 19:59

coxesorangepippin · 22/02/2024 19:57

And everyone apologizes now for the smallest of luxuries. Like having a holiday, or a meal out.

It's sad.

Agreed. A lot of the time it’s paid on credit cards. Which is also a vicious circle

OP posts:
crew2022 · 22/02/2024 20:01

Flowers to everyone feeling stuck and desperate.
I believe it will pass and get better.
I have older dc now and have more spare money (although no pension but I feel it's too late to worry about that and I'll have to keep working for longer).