Fed up of having no money

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. I’m fed up of working my ass off (and DH) for what feels like nothing. I know I’m luckier than a lot of other people, food on the table, roof over my head, so please don’t bash me for that. It can’t just be me that is fed up of work, work, work, bills, bills and more bills. I see other families going swimming, going here there and everywhere and I just think “how do they afford it?”. Please tell me I’m not the only one that is so fed up and “robbing Peter to pay Paul constantly.”

Wouldn’t we all? Who wouldn’t like to go for brunch all the time, weekend trips away and all that?

I think people sometimes have unrealistic expectations of what life can/ should be like. If your expectation is to be out and about every weekend and spending loads then yes you do need to earn a packet for that but there is no need to be depressed if that doesn’t happen? If you don’t want go do any free stuff - fine but then you have to earn more to do stuff like you used to when you were single and child free and had more money.

What if she hasn't got £20 spare ?
You certainly can't do any of that for £20 where I live, especially the cinema.

Things to do with children that don’t cost much or any money:

pack a picnic and go to the park or a local woods for the day. Being out in nature is so good for your mental health as well.

cinema evening at home. spend time making up tickets/movie posters etc, buy a big bag of popcorn from the supermarket. Have someone play the role of usher, taking peoples tickets and offering out popcorn etc.

Check out local Facebook pages that have info for free activities with children. Museums, libraries, play ranger groups. You’ll be surprised how often there is something on that you can pop along to and fill the day.

make up check lists and go on walks together. It’s unbelievable how excited children will get at seeing a traffic cone because it’s on their list and they can tick it off!!

It's not about budgeting. I can budget, I've lived on benefits before now! Life is far tighter for me now than it has ever been at any point in my life I get no financial help from the government and I'll list below some then (c.2020) and now bills - my housing situation is different (gone from rented to owned), but property type and number of people in my home is the same.

Food shopping - Then: £50 Now: £80 Change: no nappies/wipes/formula to buy
Gas: Then: £40 Now: £110
Electric: Then: £40 Now: £120
Car insurance: Then: £210 Now: £436
Water: Then: £30 Now: £50
Council tax: Then: £80 Now: £120
Broadband/TV: Then: £35 Now: £45 and notice of a mid contract increase received this morning.
Car fuel: Then: £50 Now:£80

Tell me how I budget out of this. How? All my providers are the cheapest on the market, my food shop is a combination of different places. My car I fill up once every 5 weeks or so and without it I can't work.

I know what it's like to live on the breadline and I expect it on benefits. What I don't expect is to live with less money as a working adult than I had then!

This is what I was getting at when I started the thread. It’s not about budgeting, entertaining the kids, what money is left over (or lack of it). DH and I do earn good money combined. It’s that life is a grind and after paying for the kids to go to clubs, like swimming lessons (so not even a family outing, learning a life skill which I feel unable to teach them myself), there is no money left over for me and hubby. My kids are my world and we chose to have them but after working all day, paying bills and for lessons etc, there is no money left for me (or DH). Like people have suggested, I’ve budgeted down to the last penny. It’s more a moan, hoping for camaraderie that it can’t just be me that is fed up of just existing? Fed up of get up, work my ass off, come home, eat same dinners (no meals out / take always etc), wear the same clothes, tired looking bras, (my kids get new clothes as and where needed etc so the budget goes on them), watch the same tv, (no evenings out due to no money), then repeat. Then spend weekends doing stuff with the kids while they go to their friends birthday parties / lessons, in our car that is too small to accommodate us all really.. because guess what?! We can’t afford a new one. Sorry moan over lol

I hear you. For me it’s been important to find positive things I enjoy doing that don’t further burden the household budget. I volunteer for a charity for a couple of hours a week.. rewarding, but if you want to do this it’s important to find something you like doing so it doesn’t feel like another chore to add to the list.

I tend to agree. Like Dave Ramsey says, your most powerful way to increase wealth is your income. There’s always a way to get more money if you want it badly enough.

I agree that it’s not about budgeting or being frivolous, it’s the depressing and frankly shocking state of affairs when two parents working full time don’t make enough for any extras. Just working to exist. Why do we put up with it?

But it’s not “putting up”? The vast majority of people on the planet live in much worse conditions than us in the is country. For the most part of humans being alive, living was literally a fight to survive. Even well into the 80s and 90s there wasn’t as much entertainment and cafes and things to do as now. Literally the last 20 years has been a glut of offers and cheap flights abroad and everything being possible and these minuscule years in the history of time have spoilt people to the point that they are depressed if they have to eat in their own house and can’t have food cooked and delivered for them!

What??? So we should be grateful not to live in the dark or Middle Ages because we have it better now? How low do you want our bar to be? Just having a roof over your head and food is fine for survival but it’s not living. I’m not talking about trips abroad or meals out, just activities that don’t cost the earth and a bit of disposable income that reflects the work and grind of daily life. Mortgages, nursery, energy bills are all stupidly high atm and we’re entitled to hate it.

This is just not true. Some people have real barriers to earning.

And it rather missing the point. A working family should be able to afford more than basics, and should not have to spend their weekends amongst leaves or counting traffic cones and kidding themselves this is a fun way to spend every weekend, or any of the other suggestions made here. You should be able to afford some leisure activities that actually cost money if you are a working family. It’s a shameful state of affairs that working families now can’t as successive governments have fucked up the housing market through poor decisions and a complete failure of strategic planning, and all the rest of their failures that have led to life being so expensive. It wasn’t inevitable that things are like this.

Incompetent governments must love people like you. It doesn’t matter how shit their incompetence makes things, ‘at least we are not dying in a ditch’ people like you excuse every one of their failures.

This is just not true. Some people have real barriers to earning.

Sure. For a tiny minority of people.

I get quite annoyed when I read 'I should be able to do this, we should be able to do that' so many times on the Money Matters threads. Talk about stating the obvious - and what good does it do, really? It doesn't help you get more money, it doesn't help you improve the quality of life. But then, of course, it's always, and I mean always, the government's fault, for some.

I see this really differently as swimming isn’t a day out it’s 2 hours tops and it’s £25 for us for an hour use of our local pool. That’s really expensive!!

We're all getting poorer. Wages have stagnated pretty much since the 2008 crash and everything is going up.
Meanwhile Jeff Bezos is building spaceships with his billions and his workers have to live in their cars and pee in a bottle. We keep voting for people who perpetuate this. How have we let them get away with moving all the wealth upwards while we scrabble around for crumbs and blame immigrants/the unemployed etc?
I saw Bernie Sanders saying the other day that three people in the US own as much as the poorest 160 million. Something is seriously wrong with our society.

Sometimes seems that people think this is new.
It’s always been fairly normal for “average” young families to not have anything left over at the end of the month. We’re coming up for retirement, kids have grown up and are downsizing. Only then will we finally have some spare cash.
Was worse for my parents, living in two rented rooms with two toddlers and no bathroom 🤷‍♀️

For anyone with swimming price issues and older children might be worth looking at outdoor swimming if you swim yourself
Might be helpful to someone

We have a local reservoir which is 5ft deep the whole way across, totally safe (no wires/weird things) and a lot of people bring any age children in summer to the group. Means more eyes on them too and we all keep a close watch. Plus it's free and dogs welcome

I'm on the fence on this one.

On one hand, I agree, everything is getting ridiculously expensive. Why are we paying x2, x5, x10 for the exact same goods/services? And companies, despite posting huge profits and paying those at the top unbelievable wages/bonuses, are refusing to pay the workers at the bottom of the chain more. The system we have built, does not work for the majority.

Yet on the other hand, I think expectations are too high. There is no need to be doing & paying for a lot of the activities mentioned here. As PPs pointed out, none of the previous generations had all this so I don't think it's right people expect to be able to do everything and more.

That’s what I mean. People say “they should be able to do this and that” and how can it be as it’s the 21st century as if time passing has anything to do with it. If anything people
now have much more opportunities than ever before but don’t realise it. There will always be good times and bad times in life - due to circumstances in their own lives (expensive childcare stage) or global circumstances (war, global economic downturn) and you just have to roll with the punches and do the best you can.

I agree that people have high expectations/ hope - but why shouldn't they ? Without progress and wishing for improvement to life we would still live in caves

If wealth were more evenly distributed they could meet a lot of those expectations

The fact that people accept stagnation and a shit life barely surviving when there is so much wealth is actually sickening.

@Needablueskyholiday guess what, DH and I go to work, come home exhausted. We don't often go out for dinner because I can cook well. We don't buy clothes unnecessarily. We are often too tired or too busy at weekends to go to galleries, the theatre, etc. However, we are perfectly content living a quiet life. Today the sun is shining, the blossom is put. What is the incessant need to have meals out, takeaways, spend, spend, spend? If that's all that makes people happy then money won't make a difference.

What do I have to live for: the grown up dc, my mother, who is close to heart failure, my DH, the seasons, the garden, home cooked food. And also my work, I love going to work, I like what I do and the social interaction there. My MIL is quite the reverse and thinks she has a miserable life.

Perfect28 · Today 12:15
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The fact that people accept stagnation and a shit life barely surviving when there is so much wealth is actually sickening”

Realistically though, what can people actually do about it? Vote this Government out, yes but in reality, with the best will in the world, no alternative Govt. will be able to do very much to change peoples’ lives for the better in noticeable ways for at least a full term, probably two or three.

I know how you feel. I’ve worked for everything I’ve got. It boils my blood to see people having like 6 kids not working and then scrounging on benefits

I'm so sorry for everyone going through this. I of course understand it's not that people on this thread are the worst off in the world. But no one wants a race to the bottom. Seeing a reduction in your living standards is horrible.

I'm not quite in this position. But I have seen an increase in my income through working more hours and career progression. It makes me really sad that a few years ago I thought we would be way more secure on this income and actually after years of not having money be able to do lots. But it's just eaten up by increasing costs.

I know that absolutely means I'm fortunate to be able to afford those costs. I really don't want to be insensitive. But can anyone seriously tell me or anyone that a healthy economy means having more money but a worse standard of living?

I feel myself and others are doing everything 'right' yet aren't seeing the pay off.