Fed up of having no money

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. I’m fed up of working my ass off (and DH) for what feels like nothing. I know I’m luckier than a lot of other people, food on the table, roof over my head, so please don’t bash me for that. It can’t just be me that is fed up of work, work, work, bills, bills and more bills. I see other families going swimming, going here there and everywhere and I just think “how do they afford it?”. Please tell me I’m not the only one that is so fed up and “robbing Peter to pay Paul constantly.”

£20 is still a lot of money for an hour's swim in a council leisure centre pool!
The problem is that everything has gone up, except disposable income.
It's not fair to say 'I'm a single parent and I can afford it, so why can't you' because it's not always about income but about those expenses that you just can't lower, like commuting costs or rent/mortgage.
MN doesn't seem to think so, but it is entirely possible to have a good income and no money.

It's fundamentally wrong that families with both parents in full time work, can't afford to take their kids to the cinema or to a theme park or on holiday. These aren't excessively high expectations in life. No one in Britain in 2024 should be in a position where they can't do normal, everyday things.

You're not alone. I took on a second job a couple of years ago too. Not what I'd hoped for either. I'm also trying to change my first job to get more salary but it looks like the market just isn't there for a salary increase. It sucks as I still have a week at the end of each month where I have to be really careful. Our emergency pot is dry.

I'm in my 50s but when we were young we didn't have holidays. We went about 200 miles away to stay with a widowed aunt every year. We loved it.

We went to parks (free) walking in the countryside (free) to the beach (free).

No one had money then. I loved my childhood and am so glad I'm not a child these days.

We don't have a spare £20

Oh thank you! Will look into that.

Not the original poster but there are 6/7 cinemas in my city and I know at least 3 of them do all seats, every day for a fiver or less, adults or kids. I think its competition -one of them is an odeon whereas the odeon in my hometown about half an hour away seats are a tenner because its the only local one so has a captive audience.

Obviously if you don't have £20its a moot point though but I think the poster was addressing the OPs query why she sees everyone else being able to afford things fairly easily - lots of people WILL have a spare £20 and see 2 hours entertainment for 4 people as an affordable option.

It might seem like stating the obvious but to be fair the answer is ALWAYS the same whenever these "Why do other people have more money than I do" threads constantly pop up.
-Either they have more money than you (inheritance, bought at a lucky time, jobs pay more than you think, second job, entirled to benefits, no student loan etc)
-Or they are putting everything on credit
-Or they don't, but you only see what people ARE spending money on but not what they aren't

My council also usually does free swimming for kids over the holidays if that's offered with you?

Does anyone use Meerkat Movies 2for1 for cinema tickets? Just buy a simple overnight stay for a pound (compare the market travel insurance) and get 2for1 for a whole year. We used it a lot as a couple when we could easily go to the cinema (DS is here now and a bit young just yet!)

A lot of money in one person’s opinion could be small change to another.
I’m just about scraping by but rent and council tax will go up in April. I’m praying nursery doesn’t increase their fees.
my freezer and cupboards used to be fully stocked but now it’s use what there is and hope the food shop doesn’t go up again next month.

It has become much harder in the last couple of years. I'm supposed to be retired and am still working part time because the price increases are scary. I had a bit of a meltdown over energy prices last year but thankfully the winter has been so mild it has been a bit better this year.
My dreams of being a lady who lunches seem a long way off.

I'm sick of it too. Single parent with a disability working as many hours as a physically can, on decent money but not enough to do anything beyond breaking even. I have no buffer and it won't take much to put me under.

Or it could be bills are incredibly high. Outside of utilities and food bills things like home and car insurance have gone through the roof, TV licence, car fuel... After bills and debt from home repairs I have very little spare in the month.

Vue is £5 i think

It can really depend where you are. I'm on the border of 2 London boroughs and in one it costs almost £30 for a family of 4 to go swimming, in another it's £9- under 11s are free. The extent and quality of your local services can really make a difference to how this feels.

The issue isn't really whether you can find a cheap cinema or not though is it?

It's the feeling of this is just a grinding existence forever on an and on with no prospect of ending but every prospect of getting worse.

I think it is important to create some perspective to make you feel better about now. Life 200 years ago for those struggling with little was infinitely worse. Disease rife and very few options to pull you out of the track of on which you were born. I'm not saying make a direct comparison but it is a (rather extreme) way of illustrating that things can and do change for the better.

I find 'this too will pass' is a brilliant mantra for getting through the really bad bits. Because it will and you will come out the other side.

We live in the north west where cinema tickets and swimming fees are half the price of what they are in the south east where we used to live. So it depends where you live.

We also feel like we both work hard and don't get to see the rewards anymore. We also have a house that needs work doing but we have no idea how we will afford it. It's utterly crap and soul destroying at times.

However, Things we found helped are:

Swapped our monthly take away to pay for Merlin passes (£30 a month) and use it every month

Cancelled Netflix to pay for national trust membership (£12 a month) and use it every month

We save Tesco clubcard points to pay for pizza express vouchers for birthday meals

We asked grandparents to chip in towards swim lessons

We swapped bank account to a bank who offered £175 cash back and 6 x cinema tickets

We only take the kids to the cinema Sat morning when it's dead cheap, bring flask of juice and £1 bag of popcorn from shops

Clothes are all bought 2nd hand on Vinted

We ask for fancy dress costume for Xmas presents (helps for world book day too)

Other than that, lots of trips to the park or playing in the garden and then making it fun in the evening with pizza/movie nights or games nights etc.

It's very hard when I see friends booking holidays abroad, going out for expensive trips and meals all the time, they all have bigger houses than us and I have no idea how they do it.

We can't afford to eat out at restaurants or have spa days or go abroad, but we're trying to make the best of what we have and hope that things will get easier in the future.

I wish we could go to the cinema for £20. Its more like £40 here. We haven't been for ages as its so expensive.

But many of us would accept our lot and accept the cinema wasn't accessible if we were on low income. Many of us are on over £45k a year and STILL can't get out of a poverty trap! To be on a higher income and still be in debt/unable to manage bills/have nothing spare for pleasure is a depressing place to be.

Our local vue cinema is 4.99 each

I don't live in a city or even anywhere close to a major supermarket so if I want to do anything or go anywhere I need to factor in the drive too

Closest cinema is 25 miles away so need petrol, parking plus a child ticket is £8 so for 4 just for a Cobi a trip I'm looking at close on £50 - that's a lot considering my weekly food budget is £80

i feel for people who are struggling. We have been in a fortunate situation with fixed mortgage and energy etc and food I do honestly see coming down a bit now. We’ve had it so hard in the past though with a bad decision to fix a mortgage for 5 years when our kids were small and childcare costs on top. Fingers crossed things are brighter soon and we get rid of the Tories who have contributed to this mess.

But as for how other people afford it, I suppose depends on many things. Income, rent/mortgage costs, how many children they have, if they're paying childcare or not.

For us my husband has a good wage, but we still have a small house with a low mortgage. 1 child that's now in school, so have got rid of all the childcare costs now

I hear you. It sucks. See if there’s anything you already own that you don’t use, or can pick up cheaply second hand. We bought bikes when we had more disposable cash that were gathering dust in the shed. Last year we washed and serviced them. We cycle at the weekends and take a flask / picnic if the weather is nice. Ditto garden games - swing ball and boules competitions were happening every week last summer.

Do you have any insurance renewals coming up?
There is the supersave club with moneysupermaket which is free days out for 12 months.
It's also worth keeping an eye on council pages some do free swim sessions during school holidays etc.

Do you keep a spreadsheet of incoming and outgoings? If not then I recommend doing so it can be a real eye opener on spending and things you forget about. I renegotiated multiple things, changed to sim only mobile phone contracts, cancelled things not needed etc saved nearly £200.
It also can alert to top up shops - I now buy extra bread, milk and cheese and freeze this has stopped the top ups and saves about £30 a week as other bits always fall into the basket!

@rootsandwings89, I just wanted to say "thank you" for the lovely, thoughtful post.

You really don't get it do you?!