Fed up of having no money

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. I’m fed up of working my ass off (and DH) for what feels like nothing. I know I’m luckier than a lot of other people, food on the table, roof over my head, so please don’t bash me for that. It can’t just be me that is fed up of work, work, work, bills, bills and more bills. I see other families going swimming, going here there and everywhere and I just think “how do they afford it?”. Please tell me I’m not the only one that is so fed up and “robbing Peter to pay Paul constantly.”

It really sucks. It's as a result of 13 years of Govt who couldn't give a toss about the average person, as long as you keep quiet and don't complain. Then they'll arrange to arrest you for peaceful protest.
To those saying it was worse 200 years ago blah blah blah, that's not the point. It's 2024 and if a family with 2 full time working parents cannot take their kids to the cinema due to cost it's all gone very wrong.
Use your votes at the GE and fight for your families. It's the only way.

Cinema tickets are NOTa fiver each round me. We only have big chains nearby.

20 quid for swimming is a lot of money.

Ordinary working families have long been unable to afford treats like the cinema or meals out on a regular basis. When I was a girl in the 60s/70s, it was the exception rather than the rule and it impacted families where one parent was a teacher and another a nurse. I had a friend who caught the train to school with me: three children between 6 and 14. If she needed a new coat, she had to wait until her mum had paid off last year's, her dbro desperately wanted Doc Martens - no chance.

There has been a long period of easy come/easy go. The bubble was always going to burst and it would have regardless of which party was in power.

Cheap fun:
Leaf kicking
The park
Family walk, identifying trees and birds
Patio painting - jam jar, water, paint brush, no clearing up
Bathtime - drop of food colouring rather than bubbles - blue and yellow make green
If you are in London the Museums
Library trip/story time - the power of reading
Cinema night at home - pizza, low lights, popcorn
Baking with a parent
Growing cress

I don't know why you are getting so many negative replies for this. The vast vast vast vast majority of people in the UK - especially the ones who have food on their table and a roof over their heads and time to vent frustration on Mumsnet (which involves a device and an internet connection) can afford £20 (and probably a fair bit more) every so often to go and have a fun day with their families. If you cannot do that then you need to seriously consider the way you budget your money.

But thats the point. People are budgeted down to the core and have nothing to play with. You are as tone deaf as the PP you quoted.

I had quite a long period where where after bills and everything that had to go out, left me with barely sod all to live of. I was living on roughly 50pw. I'd make a batch of soup: pack of chicken thighs, stock cubes, frozen broccoli & cauli (get 4 portions out of a bag of those) a tin of mushrooms etc. That was my dinner each night, with a small salad at lunch, the ingredients of which had to last all week. There just wasn't money fro anything else. And there certainly wasn't money for cinema or swimming.

Its a joyless existence, made worse by people telling you to budget better, but you cant budget with what you haven't got. And even worse when you think you've got a little win and have a little spare or things are going to get a little bit better and every time, EVERY FUCKING TIME, something happens to eat up that money and most of the time leave you worse off, not even where you were.

So people that reckon all you need to do is budget better, can go and fuck themselves.

I say I had a long period, things are a bit better now but not great.

@terfinthewild I'm not sure what you mean by having a roof, food, internet, a device that access internet and a few moments to make a post here equates to having an extra £20 in your pocket or your bad with money?

Surely it's the opposite? £20 Could buy us five nights of dinners for our family, which is a more sensible way to budget money if you have no disposable income? Maybe people are using their devices and internet to try and make some extra money online to be able to afford to pay for food and heating? Or looking for advice and help?

It's a huge assumption that it's down to poor money management, rather than rnets, mortgage rates, cost of food, utilities, petrol, insurances, clothing etc have all increaszed substantially whilst wages have not. Many were already finding it tough before covid and the cost of living crisis, many are just trying to stay afloat.

A big expense is nursery at that is temporary so if that's a current situation then you know things will get easier. Also nursery age children can be entertained for free or very cheaply.
Another issue is housing which does have an element of choice many people are horrified by the thought of children sharing a room when it's actually normal and unless your child has a disability that makes sharing difficult then it's fine.
Also despite what people think their is life and employment outside of London and the South. You can have a much better quality of life in the North. Not everyone can move but if I lived in the South I would be seriously looking into both moving to the North and downsizing.

“Seriously consider the way you budget your money”, are you fucking joking? I am down to the bone, nothing left to cut back on, live alone, NHS worker on around 25k, no other income to household, had no heating on in winter and using food banks, it’s relentless and grindingly depressing to live this way, drains everything from you

What is taking up your salary? Is your rent/mortgage sky high?

Yes, high rent + c tax + utilities, etc, all nearly wipes out salary before any other outgoings like food, insurance, TV licence, phone, internet, car on finance, there’s just nothing left

Is It possible for you to list your core bills, people might have ideas how they could be lowered?

Let them eat cake 🙄

Yes totally agree with this.
Rather than criticising each other for how we manage in difficult circumstances. There needs to be some kind of revolution rather than accepting this situation.
We need to direct anger at rich politicians etc.

There's people who really can't afford it. And there's people who potentially could afford it if they cut back elsewhere and save.

Your ignorance is staggering. This is a thread about having no money. It’s very likely to attract people who have no money. It’s unfortunate that you appear to have been unable to work that out for yourself.

People on low incomes are usually excellent at budgeting because they have to be. Your patronisation just shows your ignorance.

It’s not comparable though as childhood was very different. Your kids had loads of other kids to play with for free as kids just went out and played free range, unsupervised, in the neighborhood. Most of kids’ leisure and social time cost no money.

most kids can’t do that now as their peers aren’t allowed to play like that. And anyway, they aren’t around as they are all at paid for activities. So if you don’t have money, your kids can become isolated from their peers and the families lack of money shows up more than it used to.

I think what people on this thread are missing is that it's not just about the kids.

I'm thoroughly depressed at the moment, life seems fairly pointless, I work full time and so does DH, we have very little disposable income and the tiny bit we do have goes towards stuff to make the kids lives nicer. But what about me? I don't want to kick leaves or do baking. I haven't had any new clothes in forever, I rarely go out because I can't afford it, I cut my own hair...

All the fun things DH and I used to do when we were young and dating - lunches out, theatre trips, weekends away, day trips to various cities to look at museums and art galleries... None of that is available to us anymore. When I meet up with friends it's for a walk and a flask of coffee, which is nice, but I want to go for brunch, dinner, dancing!

My kids do ok, they are old enough they meet up with friends and we can give them money for McDonald's or to buy snacks etc, and when they were younger we did all the crafts, baking, park walks, dance parties in the kitchen, home spa days etc etc

But I don't enjoy my life. It's a grind. It's work..dinner...Netflix (the one streaming service we have left and I refuse to cancel!) ... Bed. Weekends I sit on my phone and DH sits on his PC, in between house work, we might go for a walk but that's it. I'm bored, I'm miserable and I hate it. What's the point?

Interesting thread.

You've got the people who "grew up with nothing and it never did me any harm" coming on.

Those who think £20 is not a lot.

And people giving (well meaning sometimes) advice on what can be cut, without knowing what the OP has already cut. There tends to be an assumption that people who don't have spare money are too stupid to budget effectively.

Those of you looking back through rose tinted glasses at raising your own children or being a child yourself need to remember that you aren't the OP. Her children might be perfectly happy going to the park etc. mine are - they are thrilled! Why begrudge the OP wanting to treat her kids to the cinema though?!

OP - I hear you. It is absolute shit.

It's shit but please keep doing things with your dc.
There is so much free stuff that may sound boring but kids love doing. I don't know how old your dc are but if they're young, they love playing games with parents, running around outside, playing with a ball or frisbee, going for adventure walks, download a 'things to find' sheet, take a trip to museum, kids cinema is usually cheap.
Google free things to do with children in your area. Take food and drinks with you.

If you do save a bit of money see if there are any other pools in the wider area that are cheaper. Swimming prices really vary.
Vue cinema are usually £4.99. Take some snacks in yourself.
Groupon sometimes do cinema vouchers for odeon.

I hate the way things are at the moment. It just seems so needless that working people are struggling. So many people I know haven't had a pay rise in years, including us, when many companies seem to be making huge profits. It seems really unfair and unjust.

But we need to protect our wellbeing from spiralling downwards so walks with friends and family it is, lots of fresh air with dc (that's still free at the moment ), baking a treat at home, saving money where we can.

Yes, mine too. It’s good value. Although I do appreciate that for many it’s still unaffordable.

South Wales 😆 on some days, for the less fancy seats!

I don’t think the poster meant it the way it’s been taken. I think they mean you can do free things and enjoy them. It’s easier when the weather is better. I also think it’s easier said than done, yes it’s nice to go for a walk or what have you but also it’s nice to treat yourself now and then. It would get you down quickly if you can’t afford to spend a bit more on the food shop, or go out when you want to. If £20 is a struggle then that’s a difficult place to be financially.

@forgotmyname1000times my children were born in the mid 90s, in London. They did not play out. We did all the things I have mentioned. Something the DC really enjoyed was a trip to a local garden centre that had sheds of tropical fish. We used to pretend it was an aquarium!

@Letterbix I found your post incredibly sad. It sounds as though you aren't happy in your work or your relationship.

@Sweetheart7 she earns 25k and pays everything alone that's why
You see people on here that are struggling on 40/50k each and they get to split the bills

Say rent £700, council tax £100, food £200, and that's on the v low side you're £1000 down and haven't paid anything else yet

Car needs a service and MOT - that's just cost me £150
Washing machine or boiler breaks...

It’s frustrating. The other day I told my OH “We are working and on paper are earning a decent salary but it’s like I’m poor because everything that comes in goes straight back out.” We both have decent jobs, decent income but the taxes, bills and expenses for essentials have sky rocketed. We cook meals but a top up shop alone (think milk, bread, egg) is about £20. Plus feeding a very hungry teen I’ve found that there is only so much you can compromise on food.

I also understand that working so hard can also cause time poverty. As much as I wanted to pick up an extra job on the weekend, I just use the weekends as family time and that looks like grocery shopping, cooking a meal and occasionally going for a walk. Where we would go out and buy milkshakes - we make our own at home. Spending time at friends houses with a home cooked meal has replaced restaurants.

When younger I invested in a family side hustle which is a slow burner but with potential and has bailed us out of some tough financial situations (including parents!) and although it’s not the best climate to start something new it has definitely given more hope for the future as it’s something to work towards.