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Original poster

I can't afford Xmas

94 replies

sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 20:33

They really single mum to a 9 month old dear beat dad UC basically covers my rent and priority bills I had to leave work as I don't have anyone to look after LO not sure what I want out this thread but I'm just feeling very sorry for myself tonight

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 06/12/2023 20:36

What do you need to buy? Your baby doesn’t know it’s Christmas. How were you hoping to spend the day?

Hellocatshome · 06/12/2023 20:36

Do you have any family or friends who will have you for Christmas day? That solves the food situation. 9 month olds dont need much in the way of Christmas presents. We did second hand toys and things from the pound shop like bubbles etc at that age.

Its shit for you but your 9 month old will not remember any of it.

plumtreebroke · 06/12/2023 20:36

With a 9 mth old you don't need to 'do Christmas', they won't remember. Just look after yourselves.

HVPRN · 06/12/2023 20:38

There is a lot of Christmas charity support out there depending on your area.. even if it is 'warm clubs' to meet others and have a hot meal and chat with other families

Justcallmebebes · 06/12/2023 20:39

Your baby is too young to know this. He doesn't need presents. Have you got family or friends you can go to on Xmas day? Can you put some decorations or lights up? Your baby will appreciate these a lot more than presents

I'm sorry OP. I hope things get better for you

Comedycook · 06/12/2023 20:39

Your baby doesn't know it's Christmas. You don't need to buy them anything. Do you have family?

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 20:42

In October your dh was a great dad, you were a sahm and he was earning enough to support the family. Has the situation changed that much in 6 weeks?

Jztbrzzsy · 06/12/2023 20:43

Kindly, your 9 month old won't remember this Christmas. Why not take your baby for a walk to see the Xmas decorations in your town and take some photos. Then you'll have some lovely photos and a nice memory for free

stepintochristmas1 · 06/12/2023 20:49

Don't the Salvation Army offer some help to families at this time of year ? Might be worth getting in touch with them or similar .

IWIllDoItNowInAMinute · 06/12/2023 20:52

Your baby really won’t remember or even know what’s happening. You could wrap up the things they already own and they wouldn’t know. At that age my DC preferred the boxes and wrapping.
You could make things with things you might have in the house, for example, if you have any small plastic bottles in the recycling you could put a bit of cheap dried rice in it to make a rainmaker toy, or give them a wooden spoon and a box they could bang to make a drum. There’s always a way.

Original poster
sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 20:54

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 20:42

In October your dh was a great dad, you were a sahm and he was earning enough to support the family. Has the situation changed that much in 6 weeks?

You don't know the half of it 😔

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 06/12/2023 20:55

At 9 months, they won't have a clue. Make the most of it. Will family buy them gifts? If so, that will be enough for them. I know how you feel, I'm a lone parent of 3 but I am in the expensive tech years now. It really has crippled me this year.

Original poster
sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 20:55

I know he won't remember but I kinda had this all in my head so excited for first Xmas it's just shit for me as I feel like failure of a
Mum

OP posts:
MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 06/12/2023 20:56

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/12/2023 20:58

What support do you have around you?

Original poster
sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 21:00

Why was i reported? I was only looking for a vent I'm not going in the internet to ask strangers for money if that's what your getting at

OP posts:
stepintochristmas1 · 06/12/2023 21:00

OP do reach out to charities , they are there to help people like you . Many of us give to them .

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 21:02

Have you put in a claim for child maintenance from your ex? Or is he paying voluntarily?

SutWytTi · 06/12/2023 21:02

sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 21:00

Why was i reported? I was only looking for a vent I'm not going in the internet to ask strangers for money if that's what your getting at

If you say you have no money you get reported for being poor.

MN is very unsupportive towards people who are struggling financially.

Changednayme · 06/12/2023 21:03

My gas and electricity costs both tripled so I can’t either

Catsfrontbum · 06/12/2023 21:03

Sorry you’re feeling so low with it all.

I hope you have the RL support to help you. Christmas is a mixed time for everyone, be kind to yourself and create some new traditions with your little baby.

EdgarsTale · 06/12/2023 21:04

sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 21:00

Why was i reported? I was only looking for a vent I'm not going in the internet to ask strangers for money if that's what your getting at

Quite a lot of posts pop up at this time of year claiming poverty & hardship. Mumsnet are just making sure people stay aware.

Just keep Xmas simple. It doesn’t have to cost money especially with a 9 month old who won’t have a clue.

areyouhavinglaugh · 06/12/2023 21:05

Don't despair op, I've had some terrible Christmas days too.. but the kids were young and I honestly think they were some of the best ones . Not everyone has endless amounts of money especially now. Our best is going or enough x

keye · 06/12/2023 21:07

If you say you have no money you get reported for being poor.

MN is very unsupportive towards people who are struggling financially.

Or it could be that it's a red flag for scammers, so a warning is fair.

A genuine poster would understand.

Livelovebehappy · 06/12/2023 21:08

Have you got a small amount of spare cash? You can buy lovely baby toys from charity shops now, and books (never to early to start reading books to them). We spent some money at one last month as my niece sometimes visits with her one year old, so wanted some bits to keep her entertained when they’re here. I spent £20 and bought half a dozen small toys for her.