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Original poster

I can't afford Xmas

94 replies

sleepdeprivedma · 06/12/2023 20:33

They really single mum to a 9 month old dear beat dad UC basically covers my rent and priority bills I had to leave work as I don't have anyone to look after LO not sure what I want out this thread but I'm just feeling very sorry for myself tonight

OP posts:
Carouselfish · 07/12/2023 00:38

Some fairy lights, a mini tree and a keepsake first ever bauble for them and don't worry any more about it OP. Go to some Christmassy places for some nice photos if you have transport. Hope you have some friendly family to spend the day with.

CassKins · 07/12/2023 00:49

This reply has been hidden

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CassKins · 07/12/2023 00:51

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This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

SutWytTi · 07/12/2023 05:59

gamerchick · 06/12/2023 22:17

Behave. We get a fair few begging bowl threads in the run up to Christmas. Just takes one scammer to wave a flag people are ripe for the picking. It's fuck all about reporting poor people.

It's true, your baby won't realise anything this year OP. There are places that do gifts for children. Hopefully a few ideas pop up for you.

Show quote history

The op didn't ask for anything, just said they were poor, and they got reported as a potential scammer.

That's how it always goes on these threads.

SutWytTi · 07/12/2023 06:02

ApintofwhatFarageishaving · 06/12/2023 23:08

Er, @SutWytTi they are probably aware of folk who scam for money on these sites. Don't be a dic

Show quote history

Discussing being poor is not the same as scamming for money.

There's no need to be rude. Also the correct spelling is 'dick'.

lemmein · 07/12/2023 07:37

I can't even remember my kids first Christmas - my grandson is 7 and I can't really remember his either even though he was living with us at the time!

Honestly op, this time of the year can feel so much shitter because we're constantly fed 'perfect Christmas' vibes - your little one is so tiny though, all they want is to be with you, literally nothing else matters to them.

Go easy on yourself, it sounds like you're having a really tough time, but just as with happier times, bad times are temporary too. This isn't forever. Ask for help from the places previous posters have mentioned but most of all give yourself a break Flowers

Newhere5 · 07/12/2023 07:46

That’s a very unhelpful reply.
The situation can change in as long as it takes to say “I’m leaving”

knowthescore · 08/12/2023 01:53

Octavia64 · 06/12/2023 21:51

There will be lots of free events around your area you just might have to hunt a bit to find them as there are so many paid for.

Lots of churches do carol services which are free.

Many brass bands play at markets/supermarkets etc so you can go and listen to them (also free but they might have a donations bucket - they will understand if you can't).

Go and look at local houses decorated with Christmas lights.

also free but they might have a donations bucket - they will understand if you can't

Unless you request a tune, we won't even notice nor care that you haven't donated because our eyes will be on the sheet music. Yes, we are there to earn the cost of heating the bandroom and entering the next contest but most people walk past without giving.

knowthescore · 08/12/2023 01:56

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 20:42

In October your dh was a great dad, you were a sahm and he was earning enough to support the family. Has the situation changed that much in 6 weeks?

It takes less than six seconds to say "it's over, I'm leaving", never mind six weeks.

flowerchild2000 · 08/12/2023 02:04

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 20:42

In October your dh was a great dad, you were a sahm and he was earning enough to support the family. Has the situation changed that much in 6 weeks?

This level of stalking is just creepy.

flowerchild2000 · 08/12/2023 02:22

I couldn't afford a tree this year but we made decorations with paper (youtube tutorial snowflakes), put together a gingerbread house, and playing Christmas music and movies often. I've never been able to make paper crafts turn out so well, my kids really think it's amazing. We're relying on a charity for presents but it's nice to have that so my kids will have some presents to open. Some years are like this. We've had a couple years we were better off and totally spoiled so it's ok. We don't need to be grand every year. Although both mine and one of my DD's birthdays are just before and right after Christmas! So I'm really feeling the pressure but trying to be a good example of being happy with anything. I think it's more about not having family (abuse, NC) and being a single mother. I'm just feeling cold and lonely this year. I hid for a little while to cry today. It's hard when you imagine what could be and you're nowhere close. We'll make the most of it though and when things get better we'll appreciate it so much more.

Livelovebehappy · 10/12/2023 09:19

flowerchild2000 · 08/12/2023 02:22

I couldn't afford a tree this year but we made decorations with paper (youtube tutorial snowflakes), put together a gingerbread house, and playing Christmas music and movies often. I've never been able to make paper crafts turn out so well, my kids really think it's amazing. We're relying on a charity for presents but it's nice to have that so my kids will have some presents to open. Some years are like this. We've had a couple years we were better off and totally spoiled so it's ok. We don't need to be grand every year. Although both mine and one of my DD's birthdays are just before and right after Christmas! So I'm really feeling the pressure but trying to be a good example of being happy with anything. I think it's more about not having family (abuse, NC) and being a single mother. I'm just feeling cold and lonely this year. I hid for a little while to cry today. It's hard when you imagine what could be and you're nowhere close. We'll make the most of it though and when things get better we'll appreciate it so much more.

A lovely post. You’ve don’t your absolute best to make Christmas special, and I’m sure your dcs will remember this more than the presents, because of the effort made to adapt it without the need for spending lots of money. You’re learning your dcs to be resilient. And don’t get too hung up on big family Christmas’s. Not all big family Xmas days are as portrayed on Xmas adverts. Hope you and your children have a lovely Christmas OP. X

clpsmum · 10/12/2023 09:23

plumtreebroke · 06/12/2023 20:36

With a 9 mth old you don't need to 'do Christmas', they won't remember. Just look after yourselves.

This. Don't stress. Sending hugs

clpsmum · 10/12/2023 09:25

GrazingSheep · 06/12/2023 20:42

In October your dh was a great dad, you were a sahm and he was earning enough to support the family. Has the situation changed that much in 6 weeks?

Circumstances can change. Who actually looks through other peoples old posts to try and discredit them?

clpsmum · 10/12/2023 09:26

DidiAskYouThough · 06/12/2023 21:49

What happened with your husband who was a great dad a few weeks ago? Are you returning to work? Divorcing? Is he paying maintenance or parenting?

Why does it matter? Her circumstances have clearly changed and I doubt that somebody that already feels terrible about themselves needs people like you trying to discredit them.

Funny how quick everyone forgot about #BeKind

Witchinawell · 10/12/2023 09:31

Ok, you might not be able to afford the Christmas social media feeds you so remove it from your life for the next few weeks. Everyone can afford Christmas within their means (if they want to).

flowerchild2000 · 10/12/2023 19:04

@Livelovebehappy Thank you so much for your kind words! That was very sweet of you and I feel more encouraged ☺️

Thatswhy11 · 18/12/2023 16:41

Long term OP this isn't about Xmas. Can you go back to work even a couple of days a week?

Cornishclio · 19/12/2023 09:06

There are lots of places for cheap stuff but as your DC is a baby he won't care so don't bother about toys, presents etc this year. From January start by saving even a small amount weekly so next year you have some money towards Christmas.

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