Frugal Friends Facing Forward with Fortitude

[Happierwithouthim]

Here's a friendly space for new and existing frugal friends.

We have all different types of incomes and lifestyles but with a common goal of making the best of the money we have.

Many of us have experiences of becoming debt free or being in difficulty with money for one reason or another so there's no need for embarrassment, just join in, post as little or as often as you wish.

Some record daily spends, some record only spends that are unplanned, some don't record spends at all, the choice is yours!

Sadly it was from last autumn so no hope of reclaiming. I'll have to accept it as part of the general cost and admin and hassle that goes alongside renovation!

Have managed to resolve a Nectar points issue - got around half back, but I'll take it as a medium win as I can't be dealing with being on hold/repeating the situation again.

Whilst I was in the shed I noticed that there is no handy storage for gloves so they get shoved in the utensils bucket. I might fish out some nails and get that sorted tonight.

Seeking and creating that silver lining ☁

I stayed in a hotel weekend before last, booked two rooms, charged in two transactions at check in, when I looked at my online banking on the following Monday there were three transactions so I emailed querying it, got no reply so emailed again to be told that front office were investigating it. Emailed again today for an update to be told the same thing, I asked if I could have a contact email for front office & they requested a screenshot of the transactions, within minutes I'd an email saying that I'll get the refund of third transaction, that it was due to me attempting to check in online, how many more have been caught out with this I wonder?
Glad to have it sorted, my Christmas was overbudget as a result and this brings it back in line including €100 for dc in the Lego shop which was unplanned but very much appreciated by them.

Yesterday was not a NSD as previously posted by me, I bought a book on Kindle for bookclub €12.68
Today is a NSD however.

Nice one @lifelongfrugaleer

Interesting chat re consumerism, dopamine, society, addiction. I listen to a loads of health and fitness and well being type podcasts and have the Zoe app/membership. The food industry is akin to the tobacco industry in its day I'd wager, and coupled with our feast or famine genes, it's hard to know what's sensible advice and adhere to it. Generally, if a product claims heath benefits on the packet, it's likely not really, or at a minimum ultra processed I've learned. Unlearning intrinsic messages re fat and calories is hard.

Spends

£13 oat milk bulk buy, was a tenner a year ago...
A LOT on buying all the items needed for changing both en-suites. Budgeted for though. But still costly.

Butternut squash Dahl for tea. Good job....😁

a newcomer to this thread, but a 'frugalist' of many years; my current mindset is similar to Mrs Shortbread, the simple things bring the most pleasure - my open fire with scavenged wood mixed in with bought 'eco-coal' has been my greatest, yet frugal, pleasure so far for.

And the lovely new back-wall neighbour who's happy to let me cart off his wood and cut back and trim the light-blocking, growth-inhibiting overhanging foliage that's been affecting my veg and my sunlight driven sanity for too long.

I did say to him - "I'm old enough to be your Nan, but I love you", thankfully he didn't think that was too wierd.

@2024Hackathon thanks for the brain food re dopamine. It will be interesting if drugs that suppress desire are challenged through the approvals process. There are a few sectors that would prefer if the status quo was maintained.

@MrsShortbread I hear you about needing to be settled with a less consumer focused life. It is difficult to adjust. That is why I like here ... We give each other validation for dialing back.

Em did your car start ok?

Today has not been a NSD. Twice around Aldi as the second half of the shopping list was called in. Grrrrrr

I’ve tried eBay and Vinted and no luck Chile. Thank you for the suggestion. Sorry about your unexpected weekend spend.

Goodo about the parking fine life.

How is your car em?

Spent £28 today on a map and a guide book (including postage) and also £2.05 in Waitrose for something to have with my soup. It was made with a bag of 15p Christmas carrots and two shallots from a 15p bag along with a two year out of date jar of harissa I found in the cupboard so I’m trying not to feel too bad about the £2.05.

At the office again tomorrow. My travelcard is already at £30odd. I don’t know why I’m so surprised at how much the train is but I always am. I think pre pandemic with a season ticket you paid once and didn’t think about it again.

Sent some paperwork off to the solicitor today. Am bracing myself for sending it to him and the mediator. Not looking forward to what comes next. Getting nervous again about maybe having to move. Not that I can do anything about it.

@TheHateIsNotGood welcome. Sorry I missed your post.

Brrr.... it's -4 degrees at the moment. I've had the heating on more than usual this week, to keep the house warm. Thankfully, it's due to get milder at the weekend. The electric blanket I bought back in October has been an absolute godsend, even though it was expensive to buy. I put it on before bed and then my bed is nice and cosy when I get in. And if I wake up during the night feeling chilly, I just stick it on for an hour.

I'm not long home from work and my post box is frozen. Or at least, the lock is. So I couldn't check for post.

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. This week seems really long.

TheHateIsNG - And the lovely new back-wall neighbour who's happy to let me cart off his wood and cut back and trim the light-blocking, growth-inhibiting overhanging foliage that's been affecting my veg and my sunlight driven sanity for too long.

That is a good neighbour!

Unescorted - There are a few sectors that would prefer if the status quo was maintained.

Aren't there just. I think it was a touch hyperbolic of the consultancies to suggest that now is the time to short food industries. It did make me wonder if it's so unthinkable that food industries might avail themselves of the good publicity involved in supporting smaller appetites and maybe help us to reverse any longings for foodstuffs that harm us rather than augment our health. (Fantasy, I know.) The same for encouraging us to consume mindlessly (whatever form that takes, like buying things).

As you can tell, I'm intrigued by this. I know the things that bring me peace and joy (and the ridiculous stuff that gets in the way of it) but I'm my own greatest barrier.

In fiction (Firefly/Serenity spoiler alert), it's a common trope that removing want leads to demotivation, inertia, and then the destruction of people. But Epictetus paints a slightly cheerier picture (implausible as that seems for the Stoics) but covers realisations like Mrs Shortbread's: "Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of men's desires, but by the removal of desire."

Interesting stuff about desire and dopamine! I’ve talked about this a lot with a good friend who is addicted to charity shop spends. She’s spending more than she’s got (and her house is overwhelmed with stuff) but finds it hard to stop partly because of the dopamine hit, but also because her self-talk is that it’s all cheap, bargainous etc.
I think my dopamine hit comes from the food shop. I feel good and that I’m nurturing the family. So I justify overspending, plus it makes the kids happy. I don’t really get tempted to overspend on clothes or other stuff - though that’s probably because I’ve not had spare money for this over the years and I’ve trained myself not to. If I went clothes shopping every week I’m sure I would get into it. And at Christmas when I ‘allow’ myself to splurge I always find it hard to rein it in again.

And yes, although my bed beckons; my understanding of the existing research available 20 years ago was that Consumerism was increased by 'fear'. A POV that I find very valid, across all eras and time; generating Fear increases power.

And that is part of the human condition. Ergo/therefore small 'victories' give the greatest pleasure. Tonight, on my open fireplace, I cooked some boiled potatoes, to make a meal or two from. No shareholders benefitted from that.

@2024Hackathon off to brush up on Epictetus!

Welcome @TheHateIsNotGood aren’t decent neighbours lovely…this village is very divided but I’m fortunate to have decent people to either side, including another gardener which is a boon!

I left the fire in overnight, a rare occurrence but a treat with our present temperature - does mean the children can have a cup of tea and toasting fork toast before school off of it.
I have a tedious day due at work, but does mean I’m unlikely to spend anything.

Hope everyone stays warm and keeps safe on any slippiness outside.

-7 turning in the gate to work this morning at 7:25am , we don't usually get cold weather like that here, coastal area in south of Ireland.

Dd's bus isn't running but ds's is, so I'm going to take her in when I finish work at 1pm, she's got full attendance and is quite proud of it.

€257.52 paid off my cc, just €160 more and I'll be debt free again other than mortgage although I wonder if I'll need a loan for my extension in next few months.

No other spends yet this morning
Ds needs new trainers as the sole on his right one is lifting, I wanted him to buy two pairs in August but he wouldn't and tried again in September. He's wearing a cheapie pair I bought in Dunnes before his birthday today.

hello!

the car - it started second time but had a "engine malfunction - service now" warning. At 5pm in the dark was not the time to start sorting out a service. Picked up DH from the airport last night and then when we are home told him about it. it started first time this morning for him but if it doesn't start when he finishes work that's his problem hahahahaha!!!!

the solar panels are in. and are generating electric. next week we will have the electric co come up to sort out our buyback meter. so that's all good.

£40 in Vouchers for M&S received yesterday - a reward from the credit card for spending on it. spoke to DH and he suggested that i take £40 from the joint account to throw at credit card and we use the vouchers for a food shop. so that's what i've done.

also found some amazon vouchers in the cupboard yesterday. so have added these to my account. finders keepers right?

still testing positive for covid a week on - but very faint line. so back in the office on Monday. I am absolutely craving contact in person with colleagues. it's very strange for me to be home for so long. :(

cancelled all my weekend plans again so i can rest. the most strenuous thing i'm going to do is some baking with DD. she wants to make hello kitty cupcakes so i need to work out how to do that. it's an excuse to use my new mixer though. give it its first outing. yay.

have a craving for bagels too. so will whip up some of these in the mixer too. hoorah.

If we're talking dopamine hits, I got a nice one yesterday evening, when DH treated me and DS to dinner in Chai Ki after a very chilly Winter Lights walk on Canary Wharf. Now, I like cooking and nurturing the family as much as the next earth mother, and I burnish my frugality in so doing; but there is nowt like being presented with beautiful food and mocktails that I didn't have to plan, shop for, chop, marinade, cook and clear up from.

Other dopamine hits: DH (who is high in my esteem this week) sending me links to holiday properties in France, without my asking him to involve himself in the research. Bathroom tile samples coming through for renovations this year. Obviously both of these will convert to real money being spent at some point.

Cheap thrills: cleaning the floors with Method almond cleaner, putting daffs out in the nice fresh rooms. Books from the library. Podcasts.

Dopamine hits I must learn to do without: I've been eating sugar like a crazed Oompa Loompa for months now. I'm carrying 3kg extra around my mid-section as a result. That's coming off by mid-March so I can slide into two favourite pairs of trousers.

@BigSkies2022 loving the cheap thrills! All my children have always taken the first daffodils of the year to their teachers, a tradition my parents did with me too. My thrill today was polishing wooden furniture, I can’t smell any more after my first bout of covid 4 years ago but the kids can.

Great news on the credit free (nearly) @Happierwithouthim, I know how hard you've worked for this.

Good news re the car @ememem84

NSD today.

Black bean parmigiana with roast butternut squash and broccoli for supper.

Bought lunch on the go €9 including this Slab of rocky road, turns out it's made from cooking chocolate not milk so it was disappointing, I'll see if I can attach a pic

€2 on half dozen eggs

And I need to get logs for the fire when I go to town soon, not sure how much that will be

Is anyone keeping a running total of their non-essential spends (however they're defining them)? For personal insight rather than self-blame or harsh judgment?

If we're talking dopamine hits, I got a nice one yesterday evening, when DH treated me and DS to dinner in Chai Ki after a very chilly Winter Lights walk on Canary Wharf.

I like the idea of recording positive dopamine moments (so to speak). I'm due to go to Canary Wharf a couple of times before the end of the month and confess to peeking at the Chai Ki menu. Unfortunately, there's no justification for me to ask to be taken there for lunch or dinner!

Congrats on the CC happier 💕

Sounds like a lovely evening blueskies

I am almost 1/3 of the way through the crazy period at work. Should settle down in 2 weeks.

Well done on the (nearly) done credit card Happier.

Yeah for the car em. And double (triple?) yeah for the vouchers. Finders keepers indeed.

Where are you thinking of heading Big? Haven’t been to Canary Wharf in years - we used to go there to buy Krispy Kreme. It sounds like a fabulous way to spend an evening.

NSD for me today. I was at the office and didn’t get a chance to go out. I did spend an additional £18.98 (including postage) yesterday on eBay on a pair of BNWT bottoms for the gym. More than I’d wanted to spend but less than if I’d bought them in the store.

Feeling nervous about sending my paperwork so think I’ll ask the solicitor to look it over. I think the stress alleviation will be worth the money. I made myself feel rather ill worrying about it today.

Evening everyone.

Why is it sooooooooo cold? -9 and a missed train while I scraped the windscreen. The deicing spray is under the pile of camping stuff that has not yet made it inside. I resorted to making the car a hottie bottie while I drank my coffee. I have yet to get warm today.

Is redefining the dopamine hit enough to cause behaviour change.... Eg saving instead of going for a walk around the shops or feeling good for eating a tasty soup instead of a pack of crisps?

I went into the office today.... Not frugal. I need to get organised again.

I worked from 9-9 today which did not creat any dopamine hits ☹️ but at least I didn’t spend any money.
In fact there was an unexpected bonus as DP got paid £300 extra. When I told him this he said ‘oh yeah, there was one sort of back payment…how much do I usually get paid?’
this gives you an idea of DP’s financial astuteness 😂 but on the other hand he has put a wash on, hoovered, made tea and washed up while I’ve worked like a man with a Very Big Job

Meant to make something wholesome for dinner but it ended up being cheesy chips and fridge-gravel salad…everyone was happy though inc severe ASD DD15 so can’t complain.
Spent some time daydreaming about buying land, there’s a lovely half an acre available nearby for only £14000…I’m just so cautious nowadays; gotten beyond-middle-aged I suppose. Still, can dream.
Took DD6 riding after school: she’s getting good at helping muck out and feed them all too, which is good.
Oh, and our oyster and shiitake mushrooms on windowsills are growing at a phenomenal rate, won’t be long before first harvest!