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Frugal Friends Facing Forward with Fortitude

1000 replies

Happierwithouthim · 05/12/2023 14:12

Here's a friendly space for new and existing frugal friends.

We have all different types of incomes and lifestyles but with a common goal of making the best of the money we have.

Many of us have experiences of becoming debt free or being in difficulty with money for one reason or another so there's no need for embarrassment, just join in, post as little or as often as you wish.

Some record daily spends, some record only spends that are unplanned, some don't record spends at all, the choice is yours!

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Unescorted · 16/01/2024 18:25

It tastes good as well. Neo has quite an acidic kick that Brutus lacks.

My no spend day got sabotaged by a trip to a&e. Thankfully everyone is on the mend again. £3.50 on parking, £64 diesel, £27 in Sainsbury's on lunch, dinner and sympathy items for DD and £3.50 on Squares in co-op.

Frugal win of the day DH disputed a bill with BG and it has been refunded and he has been given an additional £60 goodwill. He is finally getting on board with the programme.

lifelongfrugaleer · 16/01/2024 18:42

What’s the price difference in the jacket you want? @RumBananaSundae and can you afford it.

pleased people are sorted unescorted

got a parking fine but am disputing it.

2024Hackathon · 16/01/2024 19:08

I've been reading bits of Dopamine Nation. I've not read through the evidence yet but I find this a fairly persuasive narrative for some aspects of non-mindful spending etc. and my own feelings about food insecurity.

Lembke says that her patients who are struggling with substance abuse often believe their addictions are fueled by depression, anxiety and insomnia. But she maintains that the reverse is often true: Addictions can become the cause of pain — not the relief from it. That's because the behavior triggers, among other things, an initial response of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which floods the brain with pleasure. But once the dopamine wears off, a person is often left feeling worse than before.
"They start out using the drug in order to feel good or in order to experience less pain," Lembke says. "Over time, with repeated exposure, that drug works less and less well. But they find themselves unable to stop, because when they're not using, then they're in a state of a dopamine deficit."

If you look at all of these different risk factors for addiction, [they] include poverty, unemployment, multigenerational trauma. So those are a priori risk factors for addiction. And then you superimpose on top of that easy access to cheap rewards that are themselves reinforcing [and] what you find is that, in the United States, the people who are most vulnerable to addiction are people who are socioeconomically disadvantaged, because not only are they living in poverty, but they also have access to cheap feel-good drugs.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/08/25/1030930259/in-dopamine-nation-overabundance-keeps-u-s-craving-more

In 'Dopamine Nation,' Overabundance Keeps Us Craving More

Psychiatrist Anna Lembke's new book explores the brain's connection between pleasure and pain. It also helps explain addictions — not just to drugs and alcohol, but also to food, sex and smartphones.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/08/25/1030930259/in-dopamine-nation-overabundance-keeps-u-s-craving-more

Happierwithouthim · 16/01/2024 21:34

Sounds really good unescorted

Another NSD temptation for takeaway was strong but I resisted as eatstro was delivered today it was chorizo leek & rigatoni & it wasn't great.

Hope you win that dispute life

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RumBananaSundae · 17/01/2024 04:52

Crikey Unescorted sorry about the A&E visit. Glad they are on the mend. Goodo for the BG win.

It’s £200 more life. I can afford it. But… I want it in navy. I was buying the last one and someone else bought it while I was going through checkout so the colour I want is sold out. I like the style of the other jacket more but I don’t like the colour. The one I’ve bought has a higher waterproof score and fits well so I’m leaning towards sticking with it. I’d be much happier with it if I hadn’t seen the other one. Fingers crossed for the parking fine.

Had a reply from Eurostar about my points. Boo to them. I might add a night or two to my trip in April once the book fair schedule is out. That’s not until March though.

Am at the office today so hopefully there will be less spending.

Chile1978 · 17/01/2024 06:53

@RumBananaSundae can you search on vinted or ebay?

@2024Hackathon I've watched some interesting interviews with people who discuss overspending and its reasons and a lot talk about the 'rush'

Changed my phone deal last night so a saving £2 a month. Ok, so I could get an even cheaper deal but it's £6 a month each and don't have to faff with changing networks/sims. Sometimes frugality is a balance.

Hoping for another NSD today.

Chile1978 · 17/01/2024 06:58

Rather frustratingly in our building work we seem to have lost a large roll up extension cable. Will have to brave the cold and look properly for it and then re buy if it can't be found. That's the type of purchase I dislike!

Unescorted · 17/01/2024 07:17

chile we get a lot of the can't find must buy spends. I feel your pain.

I am hoping for an uneventful day. I have so much admin that needs doing. I feel that it will be a good fit for my energy levels.

Does anyone know if it is possible to use a section in a spreadsheet as part of a mail merge. I need to send out the same email to many people but need to add individual figures held in a spreadsheet. Outlook is not my strongest IT skill.

Unescorted · 17/01/2024 07:19

Sorry a stray typo.... And now I have worked out how to edit I thought I would give it a go.

2024Hackathon · 17/01/2024 07:45

Chile - I've watched some interesting interviews with people who discuss overspending and its reasons and a lot talk about the 'rush'

I wonder if there are small but frequent dopamine hits that happen with overspending that isn't noticeable or dramatic?

Unescorted - we get a lot of the can't find must buy spends. I feel your pain.

What an excellent way to express it! I recognise that far too much because DH randomly puts stuff anywhere. It's not straight now but it used to take several hrs to find even ingredients. As it is, I've been looking for my stand mixer for >6 months. (That's how chaotic his 'pick up, put downs' are.) Some items have been missing for years. (No, the house isn't that massive. But, he's literally piled items in the loft rather than using the shelving I built in, and it's done so haphazardly that I can no longer even climb into the loft safely, far less move items to find other items.)
Yes, DH's chaos extends to other areas of life.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 17/01/2024 08:13

The dopamine hit theory is really interesting, my dad definitely has issues with buying crap just for the dopamine hit.

I think I've trained myself to feel the opposite now, when I spend money I just feel stressed and anxious, it definitely doesn't give me a dopamine hit!!

My weakness is probably sugar though, over Christmas I've eaten even more sweet stuff than usual and can feel myself craving it now.

Dd has got a pt job at a newsagent and she's been really shocked by the amount of gamblers that come in with stacks of lottery tickets and scratch cards 😕 hundreds of pounds worth in some cases.

Rainbow1901 · 17/01/2024 08:43

Unescorted · 17/01/2024 07:17

chile we get a lot of the can't find must buy spends. I feel your pain.

I am hoping for an uneventful day. I have so much admin that needs doing. I feel that it will be a good fit for my energy levels.

Does anyone know if it is possible to use a section in a spreadsheet as part of a mail merge. I need to send out the same email to many people but need to add individual figures held in a spreadsheet. Outlook is not my strongest IT skill.

Edited

@Unescorted If you right click on the mouse and highlight the cells that you want to copy in the spreadsheet then move to the email then right click and then paste. That should do what you are hoping to achieve.
But if you need individual figures from a spreadsheet for different people then you need to use the spreadsheet to create a mail merge document using columns for name, address line 1, address line 2 etc etc and then create your document with links for each of the columns so that you can transfer the info to emails.
But you could achieve the same by creating a link for the line of necessary info for each individual email which is more long winded. But then you are just creating and copying a standard email and inserting the details required.
But the correct way would be to start from the spreadsheet and create the merge document from that point. A little time consuming but it then can be used for future documents using the database created in the spreadsheet.
Does that make sense?

ememem84 · 17/01/2024 09:15

exhausted today. didnt sleep towel as DH is away (again) and the dc were playing me up. was up twice in the night with dd as "there's something annoying in my bed" (there was something annoying not in her bed....her!)

anyhoo. electricians back at our house today, so have decamped again to dsis' place. have just thrown a load of her laundry in for her, put dishwasher on and have folded all her clean laundry and put it away. her and bil are so busy at the moment and they're letting me crash here for the day so it's the least i cn do really.

annoyingly when i got here i had to let myself in and park int he visitors carpark (they live on a gated property). popped the number in the gate for it to open, got back in the car and it wouldn't start. so had to roll it into a space. i am hoping that Bil has some jump leads.....will go out again at lunchtime and see if i can get it to start. maybe it just needs a rest....!

nsd planned for me today. have paused my audible membership - i have so many audiobooks to listen to so that will keep me going for a while. it's "only" £7.99 a month, but every little not spent on the credit card helps!

interesting read re dopamine theory. i'd say that is/was me. buying something just because to get the rush. i'm a proper emotional spender. and a "treat yo'self" spender. but i dont need more stuff. i can't. living with less is actually helping my mental health. surprise suprise. who'd have thought!

Unescorted · 17/01/2024 10:04

@Rainbow1901 you are awesome

Chile1978 · 17/01/2024 10:06

It is frustrating but will give a good search at lunch. I am generally tidy, OH less so, but the builders were definitely not! It will be annoying if one of them accidentally took it, but such is life. I'm just putting off freezing my nips off by having to venture into the garage or shed! 😂

@2024Hackathon that must be difficult. Would he be open to having a conversation about how it impacts you and hoping that will provide some motivation to change?

@ememem84 absolutely 💯! Any spend less is more to save/pay off.

I am a stimulus spender- it happens often when I'm bored and it makes me feel productive. Aren't I being so useful/helpful by buying x y or z?
Buy kids clothes is useful to a point, but I far exceed the utility and head into excess.

2024Hackathon · 17/01/2024 10:27

About dopamine hits. I find this very thought-provoking last Dec. in a newsletter from Sensemaker at Tortoise: "People who were prescribed Ozempic for weight loss later found that other addictive behaviours, such as nail-biting or shopping, fell into sharp decline."

Ozempic and the end of desire

This week, Novo Nordisk started a trial of “pre-obesity” use of its Wegovy anti-obesity drug.

So what? Novo Nordisk is trying to find out if it can stop obesity before it happens. If it can, the implications could strike at the heart of a consumer culture based on desire.

The trial focuses on three key aspects of the GLP-1 agonists class of drugs first approved in 2005 – of which Wegovy is one (and Ozempic is another):

  • They help people lose weight by curbing hunger.
  • They do this by regulating wanting food rather than liking it; the pleasure of the hunt rather than the pleasure of the feast.
  • And research shows they have a similar effect on the desire for drink, drugs and nicotine.

Pre-want. If Novo Nordisk’s trials are successful and pre-obesity use of GLP-1 agonists becomes widespread, it's conceivable humans could medicate the desire for food, booze, social media and cheap thrills into moderate and reasonable consumption. Addiction is built into social media, video games, sugar and shopping. People who were prescribed Ozempic for weight loss later found that other addictive behaviours, such as nail-biting or shopping, fell into sharp decline. What happens if we live in a pre-want economy?

Capitalism needs addicts. In October, Bloomberg ran a column headlined “Ozempic is Bad for Business” asking readers to imagine a drug that reduces consumption in general. “It makes the people… eat less food and drink less alcohol and buy fewer clothes and take fewer vacations and get fewer haircuts and consume less social media and click on fewer online ads and otherwise consume much less. This drug is fictional. But Ozempic is not fictional.”

This is already having an effect on the economy. It’s too early to draw definitive conclusions, but John Furner, CEO of Walmart’s US operations, recently revealed the company has compared customers’ prescription history with their food shopping patterns and found a “slight pullback in the overall basket” of food purchases as a result of the drugs – “just less units, slightly less calories”.

Time to short food? Executives at food manufacturers from Campbell Soup to Conagra Brands are fielding questions from investors about the drugs’ potential impact, the WSJ reports. Internal teams brainstorming ways to respond. In October, Barclays published a note advising clients to short fast-food chains and snack companies like McDonald’s and Kellogg’s. One analyst has estimated United Airlines could save $80 million a year on fuel if every passenger lost 10 pounds.

I'm sure economists have interesting arguments about the economy if substantial numbers of us stopped non-essential or mindless spending.

lifelongfrugaleer · 17/01/2024 11:42

Parking fine revoked £60 saved 🤛

MrsShortbread · 17/01/2024 11:50

I’m sat here waiting for the kettle to whistle on the stove and contemplating that old saying about cutting your coat to your cloth. I think it’s about true acceptance within oneself as well as the practical aspect - yes, I simply must cut back on spends if I want to best suit my income, but doing it with any bitterness or too many feelings of drudgery isn’t the way. Simple pleasures are often the very best; and we get the chance to remember that.

Beautiful crisp, frosty dog walk on the beach, a warm fire made, a very tasty looking cheese sandwich made for lunch…I’m content.

Happierwithouthim · 17/01/2024 12:07

@2024Hackathon That's an interesting piece, I'm an Ozempic user, for weight loss, not diabetes.

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Happierwithouthim · 17/01/2024 12:07

Well done life

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Chile1978 · 17/01/2024 12:55

Well done @lifelongfrugaleer

I've had less success and the extension roll has gone. I know exactly which blinking trades it was that have it too. Argh!
That will be £45 at the weekend to replace.

Spends
£2 school pta

2024Hackathon · 17/01/2024 12:58

Happierwithouthim · 17/01/2024 12:07

@2024Hackathon That's an interesting piece, I'm an Ozempic user, for weight loss, not diabetes.

Have you experienced changes in other areas? (Ignore this if it's intrusive.)

It's intriguing. We live in obeseogenic environments where foodstuffs are acknowledged to be designed with bliss points to make us desire them and which can override our 'full' signals.

There are conditions such as Parkinson's that can affect people's impulse control (e.g., compulsive shopping, hypersexuality).

Codling D, Shaw P, David AS. Hypersexuality in Parkinson's Disease: Systematic Review and Report of 7 New Cases. Mov Disord Clin Pract. 2015 Apr 30;2(2):116-126. doi: 10.1002/mdc3.12155. PMID: 30363884; PMCID: PMC6183311.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6183311/

I'm fascinated about what this says about societies and our economies. It's astonishing that we are at a point where a substantial number of us may need medication to help us withstand the relentless promotion of lifestyles and consumption choices (like spending) that undermine our physical and mental health and our financial fitness.

Rainbow1901 · 17/01/2024 13:37

Chile1978 · 17/01/2024 12:55

Well done @lifelongfrugaleer

I've had less success and the extension roll has gone. I know exactly which blinking trades it was that have it too. Argh!
That will be £45 at the weekend to replace.

Spends
£2 school pta

If you know who it was @Chile1978 then call them and ask for it to be returned or you will deduct cost off their bill. What a cheek?!

Happierwithouthim · 17/01/2024 13:38

I found that following my separation my need to purchase disappeared, and I suppose I'd worked so hard to become debt free I wanted to keep it that way. Then covid happened so I was actually saving a lot of money because there was no social spends either. Until last year my only debt was mortgage. So I've had lots of changes to my life & lifestyle prior to taking ozempic so I couldn't attribute anything else to it really other than the food noise being gone from my head.

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Happierwithouthim · 17/01/2024 13:40

Chile mine got damaged during recent renovations and now only 2 of the 3 sockets work on it, and my outdoor sockets only one side works, unfortunately some idiot plastered that into the wall so I can't fix it. My workman is so good though I won't say anything to him, he's a godsend who can turn his hand to anything.

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