Frugal Friends Facing Forward with Fortitude

[Happierwithouthim]

Here's a friendly space for new and existing frugal friends.

We have all different types of incomes and lifestyles but with a common goal of making the best of the money we have.

Many of us have experiences of becoming debt free or being in difficulty with money for one reason or another so there's no need for embarrassment, just join in, post as little or as often as you wish.

Some record daily spends, some record only spends that are unplanned, some don't record spends at all, the choice is yours!

Oh life thank you. The north east is a tad far for me.

Thank you Happier. I’m trying and I know you’re right about things getting worse before they get better. Not something nice to be anticipating.

She is a pita Mary. I checked my messages before I left the office this afternoon and won’t look again until I’m back next week. I’d rather upset myself about it last night. Sorry about your mum’s friend. Yes just me over Christmas. I’m saving the new Reacher to watch and will eat cheese.

Trains out of London were dreadful this afternoon. Bit nervous about getting to St Prancras tomorrow as I should get the first train.

Spending today was about £5 in Waitrose and when I got back I didn’t want any of it. Ugggg.

hi everyone, and welcome to the new people.

And welcome back to Sing! I was here under a festive name previously, our DDs (6) are very similar age and have something else in common IRL, I seem to recall 😉). I have thought of you from time to time and wondered how you are doing. Big changes re. DH, you always sounded so good together so I’m sorry to hear it hasn’t worked out. Hope the DC are doing okay these days.

The house spend has slowed down but I’ve been buying (pink, eurgh) paint, skirting and all sorts of bits and bobs for DD’s new room, now we’re moving her. Electrician is coming tomorrow to put in extra sockets before we paint (only 2 in the whole double room - that won’t see a girl through her teenage years, lol!). I’ve ordered a new carpet for 18th and a new bed for 20th, so it’s just in time for Christmas. Lovely DM has paid for a decorator to paint the room for me to save my time and sanity, and I am very grateful indeed! The reasonably priced guys I have found are odd job men and not really decorators and they’ve done a bit of a bodge of recreating a missing bit of moulding along the coving, but a real match to the original plaster will cost me c £1k just for a couple of metres and I can’t afford it, so will live with the slightly, er, rough version for a while forever.

I still need to buy her a wardrobe but that will have to wait till the NY, the one that matches her new bed is out of stock and coincidentally I have no money so that’s handy 😉.

My big Ocado shop came today, bit more than usual but I’m doing some advance prep for Christmas and making a few other things for the freezer e.g. Christmas gravy and some baked items. I’m also trying very hard to eat earlier in the evening as we normally eat after Dc are in bed, often around 9pm, and I’m having terrible problems with reflux at night. I need to eat earlier so have meal planned and shopped accordingly. It takes organisation though, as we don’t finish work /get home till maybe 6.30 and have to start doing DC bedtime at 7!

Other spends…. Feels too numerous to mention right now. I need to buy some Christmas presents tonight - am lacking ideas though, my head hasn’t been in the game this year. I also need to write a very long snagging list for the builder tomorrow, who is coming to look at why water is leaking from the brand new loft bathroom into a bedroom below 😡.

Please can I join?

I am through a protracted separation and should be divorced any day now.

I used the time my STXH wouldn't leave to get my financial ducks in a row and cleared all debts, went freelance to increase earnings so I could buy him out and take on the mortgage. So while I am delighted he has now gone, I now have a hefty mortgage to service.

I've been through direct debits, switched insurance, broadband provider, shops at ALDI etc and while things are tight they feel just about manageable.

Looking forward to hearing tips for saving money. Love the one on spring babies! I will use that one!

Am I the only saddo who goes to bed at the same time as the kids, turns the heating off and watches TV on my laptop rather than on the living room?! 😂

Hi all

thanks for the new thread and welcome newbies

Hi and welcome @tuttifritti ! I'm the same I tend to stay in bed (we cosleep with our youngest) after they've gone asleep as it's all warm and I watch TV on the iPad. I try to get everything done so I don't need to go back downstairs eg tidy round etc. sounds boring but it's actually really cosy!

Good frugaleering here today, I had £40 of "points" on my Asda app (would recommend!) And I was planning to save them for Jan when things are a bit lean but got notification that they expire on 31 Dec 😱 so used them on a top up shop so it only cost £2.50 🙂

Also got lots of clothes for one of my teens from vinted (they sent me links for that they want) and some little stocking fillers from the charity shop for the younger ones so pleased with all that!

My good financial news is that DP has been offered some extra teaching work for the new year (he currently works pt). It’s a good rate of pay so will help us afford a short holiday and some therapy that DD needs.

I like the Asda app and have our blc attached to it but they have significantly reduced the discount

good news in extra teaching and on DM helping with the decoration

rum keep All emails and cores with the mediator as evidence. You will get there but might just have to play the game until you know how to cheat

nsd yesterday except milk

can anyone remember which thread had the massive tips post?

@lifelongfrugaleer wasn't the massive list of tips pinned at the top of threads in the past? Maybe around a year ago, I'll have a look and see if I can find it.

Good Morning everyone
@RumBananaSundae omg that mediator sounds awful , how the hell you came to have such an awful one l don't know but it does seem as if they are a 'type' My friend had a divorce from her husband and had to go through mediation , she refused every settlement on the table and they eventually had to get the solicitor to sort it out , she did end up with the house & he kept his pension but it had an enormous mortgage on it , still does , she was left with a bill from the solicitor for 5k , this was 13 years ago, so the solicitor's bill would probably be 10 k now l am guessing . However the house has doubled in value and she has £200 k in equity on it now, so she did the right thing.
Do things you will really enjoy and look after yourself , a lovely book , watching Christmas films and Tv , listen to your favourite tunes , hot chocolate and nice food , go on spoil yourself over the Christmas period
@lifelongfrugaleer l can't get to grips with the Asda app l am useless
@marthasmum that is brilliant re Dh's extra work , so pleased for you both
@HalfWomanHalfChocolate you have been so organised well done you must have been so busy sorting through everything!
Welcome @tuttifritti did you see the TV series by that name ? Well nearly that name it was called Tutti Fruiti it was brilliant
@Decafflatteplease it's so cosy doing that, we used to do it as well , just lovely
Been busy again the last few days , sent and hand delivered all the cards and the hand/postal delivered presents are done , got a lot of the Christmas food in , just the fresh stuff now really , we aren't having a Christmas pud this year, having just given last years to the birds
Just have to sort my dining room out and the pressies for Dh , not a lot & the girls, a hellova lot
Spends £75 Tesco
Amazon on presents £65
Hope everyone is ok & enjoying the run up to Christmas

Welcome to all the newbies, and welcome back sing. I remember when you were pregnant with your youngest DC! Sorry to hear about DH.

It’s been a tough week here, DD1 had covid (feels like we’ve had it so many times here now). She spent the week on the sofa watching telly, whilst we were at work feeling bad about leaving her at home. I think she enjoyed the tv to herself though 😂 Lots of events she couldn’t go to either, one which we paid £20 for.

I’m just hoping no one else gets it now….

Still got a few presents to buy, ££s seem to just keep flowing off the cards. Hoping for a frugal reset in the new year, although DD1 needs bigger clothes and coat hopefully in the sales.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I’m hoping if everyone keeps well, we might manage a midweek trip to the Christmas lights 🎄

Thanks for the welcome! I've not seen Tutti Frutti - must check it out.

I was planning a no spend day but did an audit of the kids' gifts and they felt a bit light to be honest! Fortunately the kids don't seem to want lots of things and I remind myself that their dad will give them gifts too. Anyway I ended up spending another £80 to bulk it out but now have finished Xmas present shopping. All other gifts have been within quite a strict budget and I have already ordered and paid for the Xmas meat and have been stockpiling Xmas pud and chocolates over the past few weeks to spread the cost.

@Timetoswitch your poor Dd1 hope she is feeling much better bless her 💐There is such lot of fun stuff going on in school around Christmas, it's horrible for her to miss out.
Hope none of you get sick so you can enjoy some outings before Christmas ⛄😊
@tuttifritti sounds as if you are sorted re the presents now , l know what you mean re thinking they were light on presents, l have just bought 3 more presents for Dd1 because her sister has more than her 😂
They are 29 and 27 😂😂😂
Spends today New Look
£55 on Dd1 presents 😂
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying their run up to Christmas 😊

I’m a fan of pink Half so your daughter’s room sounds lovely. Sorry to hear about the reflux it can be very uncomfortable. You’re well on the way with your holiday prep.

Welcome tutti.

Good news on the extra work Martha. Holiday money is always a good thing.

He picked her Mary. Have no idea why. I’m £2k on the solicitor and the ‘proper’ legal stuff hasn’t started yet. I know someone who went over £80k. Will absolutely do as you say over the holidays. I have £100 in Marks and Spencer gift vouchers to spend though l’m guessing I will feel guilty and save most of it. Might take a trip to Sanfords and a gallery too.

Yesterday was a no spend day technically as I’m using a prepaid currency card and cash. Three toothbrushes, a sandwich and some stamps so far. And money added to my Navgio.

This morning I’m planning on The Musée national de la Marine. Not sure how to get there so hoping I don’t get lost.

@RumBananaSundae he doesn't know her outside of this mediation does he?
Only it does make me suspicious ,you can't trust a thing they say or do especially when it's to do with money and children unfortunately 😭.
You have a lovely time today and that £100 in Marks and Spencer is yours to treat yourself, when the M&S sale hits the internet on Christmas morning get online and enjoy yourself with it 😁 you deserve it ❤️

I know what you mean about trying to balance up the presents. With 3 DC I always think it’s like trying to chop the legs off the table …you get something for one and you have to get the other two something to balance it up. Also agree with the £££ flowing off (or on!) the credit card.
we went to a party at the neighbours which was lovely but now am hungover 😵 and got to do some PhD work.
good news though is that I kept to the shopping budget yesterday!

Slides her sorry bot back onto the thread. 2024 is going to be the year that we build up a nice savings buffer.

Waves at sing where did that time go? Sorry to hear about your (d)h. But go you with a degree. How are you finding the work load?. I started a course a couple of months ago and it is so busy. Work give me a day off a week to do it but I am so behind already.

Hi all, thank you so much for the lovely welcome (back) 😁💜 it’s fun working out who name changers are 😜

As for DH - it’s a positive thing honestly. He’s not a bad person but I’ve changed so much in the last few years and it’s opened my eyes to a lot. So it was my decision, but I’m quite nervous about all the changes to come even though I know they’re for the best.

Studying is going pretty well in terms of results but I’m really behind this year already (year 3 of 6) 😬 must catch up over Christmas!

Re frugaleering, well, Christmas 🤣 so that’s not going too successfully yet 🤣

I have dodged the faff and expense of cooking for everyone by having hand surgery next week.... I cannot possibly do any cooking or washing up. Other people are stepping up for once.

All the Christmas presents are bought except for my mum... Dh & the kids sourced them. To be fair there aren't many to buy.

Smart move @Unescorted!

@SingToTheSky hope it continues positively. It's a stressful process.

What are your strategies for budgeting? Find HSBC's Balance After Bills feature very helpful. I then remove any other big bills I anticipate then divide the remainder by the number of remaining days in the month to give myself a rough 'budget' but knowing some days I might exceed it by filling up the car or doing a food shop. Therefore I mostly keep under it on other days.

I suspicious Mary but I’ll never know. I most definitely don’t trust him or her. He’s sweetness and light and I should probably reflect that but she’s making it difficult. And I know how manipulative, sly and dishonest he is. Pretty sure his parents are paying his legal bills so he’s not going to be thinking about those.

Laughed at your table legs analogy martha.

Hope the surgery goes without a hitch Unescorted.

Spending yesterday was (technically) 13€ on a museum ticket, as I couldn’t prebook, and about €14 on dinner. Not sure how the weekend went so quickly. Hoping the weather is better today. The top of the Eiffel Tower was closed due to wind so I should be getting a refund. I’ve not had an email so I’m sceptical.

I can’t find my purse so I’m hoping I left it back at the flat. It only had about 4€ in it but it matches one of my handbags so I’d rather not have lost it.

Hope everyone has a good start to their week.

I need to pop in here. SPending has been ridiculous this year and I need to seriously reign it in.

Afternoon folk.

Dropped off the thread last week due to life.

Spends are thankfully so far budgeted for still, even if they are high due to Christmas. I'm at least a bit more organised now. I'm off tomorrow to sort the rest of the things I need to do.

I haven't read back too far but welcome back @SingToTheSky.

Menu plan
Midweek risotto with pearl barley.
Cashew curry with chickpeas and mushrooms.
Sri Lankan aubergine curry.
Fridge raid tomato sauce with pasta
Chicken leek and kidney bean stew.
Veggie bean chilli.
Chicken and mushroom curry
White bean prawn saganaki

Need I'd to google saganaki, sounds good!

A day to plan for next couple of weeks sounds like a very good idea too.

After getting weekend roster finally off ex yesterday it turns out I won't be able to do a pre-Christmas visit to my dps as I've done for years now that I don't have option of going there the odd Christmas I think I'll go 26/27-29th instead, we've panto with them on 29th also halfway between theirs and mine so I'll carry on home afterwards. I'm a bit p*ssed off but I'll get over it.

Since I start the thread I've read and not posted so I need to do a catch up post.

Thurs €75 childcare, ds was there for full day on Thurs because he'd a hoarse throat so this was €50 more than usual
€14.50 Christmas meal out with bookclub
Fri
€1.81 on December's book club book because I'd points on my loyalty card.

€5 ticket for school Christmas Carol Service
€450 paying off my bill at local hardware store following phase 1 renovation
Sat Spends were
€6.50 on lunch
€70 getting my hair done, as she didn't charge me! €0 on dinner in the loveliest restaurant that I only booked at lunchtime. Hot seafood selection followed by homemade profiteroles I couldn't finish I was so stuffed.

Sun Spends was
€97.58 Dunnes using 2 x €10 off €50 applied automatically, got my Christmas ham, stocked up on some fizzy drinks and cordials which were 3 for €5, got my first Terrys Mint Choc 'Orange' shared it with dd putting up Christmas tree.

€63 Meaghers on a gift for dd, a shared gift for dc, and some Trilogy skincare/body stuff for myself on Friday also

Result re the hair @Happierwithouthim!

thedoctorskitchen.com/recipes/cooks-white-bean-prawn-saganaki/

Dr Rupy is a super healthy website/app! As you might imagine from me 😂