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Original poster

Single life is expensive!

76 replies

Lodgeornot · 03/03/2023 22:29

I just need a whinge and rant, sorry.

Just sick of my colleagues and friends not understanding that my household income is less than half theirs because I'm on my own. I know there's two mouths to feed in a couple and other things you'll obviously need more of but I don't share my mortgage payment, I get 25% off council tax not 50%, I don't have a husband earning a higher salary than my own low end public sector wage giving a more than healthy take home between us. My income is it.

And they've all gone straight from living with parents to partners so they'll never get it. Just argh!

There's so much more but it would never end and potentially outing. I love em, but fuck fuckety fuck off with your cluelessness!

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 05/03/2023 01:06

ConkerBonkers · 04/03/2023 20:30

Have you not read all the many threads women on here post where their partners do not equally contribute? Please thing yourself lucky you are not paying 100 percent mortgage, 100 percent council tax, and 2.5 times your current spend on food, and household supplies. If your colleagues are in this position they most likely will not tell you about it. Everyone has a right to moan about the col, it does not more greatly affect every single person.

Seriously??

Christmascracker0 · 05/03/2023 01:20

ConkerBonkers · 04/03/2023 20:30

Have you not read all the many threads women on here post where their partners do not equally contribute? Please thing yourself lucky you are not paying 100 percent mortgage, 100 percent council tax, and 2.5 times your current spend on food, and household supplies. If your colleagues are in this position they most likely will not tell you about it. Everyone has a right to moan about the col, it does not more greatly affect every single person.

Different people have different problems in life and all are entitled to have a moan about it.

I hear you OP. Saving for a deposit and buying a house is the worst - it is so difficult to do on one salary!

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 01:50

Christmascracker0 · 05/03/2023 01:20

Different people have different problems in life and all are entitled to have a moan about it.

I hear you OP. Saving for a deposit and buying a house is the worst - it is so difficult to do on one salary!

Show quote history

Absolutely! Moan away OP!

MintJulia · 05/03/2023 02:37

Going against the grain here, but I've always found single life less expensive than living with a man.

Maybe it's just the men I have known but they are so wasteful, so disorganised and so egotistical that they seem to burn through money.

Needing a bottle of wine every night, wasting food, needing to replace their perfectly good car with another every two years, needing the latest 'hobby' which they quickly get bored with. Constantly wanting to show off.
My most recent ex wanted me to spend £1700 on a new fence because the neighbours were having one. 🙄

Somethings are very expensive as a single though - holidays especially.

Spectre8 · 05/03/2023 02:55

What pisses me off most is every single year without fail the budget has nothing for single person no kids. Every other group gets some form of help.

And then those very groups have the audacity to moan and want even more.

And you just think fuck off.

This year this is the first time we have had help and thats been the money for energy that I'm referring to.

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 03:02

But choosing to be single long term is a choice (just like you choose to be with someone). Yes people go through a few months or a few years of being single where its not a choice. But if you have been single for 20 years then thats a choice and there is a consequence to that.

Spectre8 · 05/03/2023 03:04

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 03:02

But choosing to be single long term is a choice (just like you choose to be with someone). Yes people go through a few months or a few years of being single where its not a choice. But if you have been single for 20 years then thats a choice and there is a consequence to that.

Wwll goes both ways if you choose to get married or have kids, why should single people be disadvantaged financially and end up paying for those lifestyle choices

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 05/03/2023 03:09

Spectre8 · 05/03/2023 02:55

What pisses me off most is every single year without fail the budget has nothing for single person no kids. Every other group gets some form of help.

And then those very groups have the audacity to moan and want even more.

And you just think fuck off.

This year this is the first time we have had help and thats been the money for energy that I'm referring to.

This always used to annoy me, and I still agree. If you're a high earning single or couple with no children (but not mega rich), you pay an exorbitant amount of tax, yet you basically get nothing. If you dont earn mych you get benefits. If you have kids, you get benefits, AND you get lots of leeway at work etc but you get nothing. It really sux! It feels like everyone gets a piece of the pie, except you (who pays for most of it ...)

pompomdaisy · 05/03/2023 03:37

I've been single but never lived 'singly'. Back when mortgages were 8% I had a lodger, always. I think expectation's have become so high now that single people think they can live comfortably. That's never been the case.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 05/03/2023 03:50

pompomdaisy · 05/03/2023 03:37

I've been single but never lived 'singly'. Back when mortgages were 8% I had a lodger, always. I think expectation's have become so high now that single people think they can live comfortably. That's never been the case.

Because public policy ignores the solo person. We're just everyone else's cash cows.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 05/03/2023 03:51

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 03:02

But choosing to be single long term is a choice (just like you choose to be with someone). Yes people go through a few months or a few years of being single where its not a choice. But if you have been single for 20 years then thats a choice and there is a consequence to that.

So why should some choices be rewarded more than others?? Ffs.

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 04:11

@Spectre8 @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune but you are missing the point entirely. Unfortunately we do make the rules so yes it sucks that single people are paying more (per person) than couples. But a single person can choose to be a part of a couple if they want to make that saving. Its all about choices I am afraid. Yes some rules and laws suck for some but its a choice and everyone can choose the path that works out financially best (if they want to that is). If you choose to be alone the consequence is that it costs more. Sucks buts that the reality.

Spectre8 · 05/03/2023 04:15

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 04:11

@Spectre8 @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune but you are missing the point entirely. Unfortunately we do make the rules so yes it sucks that single people are paying more (per person) than couples. But a single person can choose to be a part of a couple if they want to make that saving. Its all about choices I am afraid. Yes some rules and laws suck for some but its a choice and everyone can choose the path that works out financially best (if they want to that is). If you choose to be alone the consequence is that it costs more. Sucks buts that the reality.

So if you choose to have a child then do you not agree based on your reasoning that the cost of that child should be met by those who have them and bot subsided by those who don't.

I mean after all having children is in 99% cases a choice and choices have consequences like you perfectly say. If you want to have more money then don't have children and expect others to pay for them

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 04:28

@Spectre8 absolutely you shouldn't be having kids and EXPECTING things like child benefit, tax credits just because you have kids. You have a kid you should be willing to pay 100% of the cost.

In saying that if I lived in the UK and was entitled to these things I would claim them because thats the rules/laws of the country. If the rules were to change though then I would have no cause to moan because I chose to have a child and should be willing to meet the cost 100%.

JamNittyGritty · 05/03/2023 04:29

I am in the same boat but with 2 kids to pay for on top (ex shares their costs but no other maintenance). I am finding the increased bills hard, really worried about renewing my mortgage soon and the cost of that. Get frustrated as I am just over the cut off for child benefit but friends who are couples with a joint salary way over mine still get it bcs they both come under the cut off but not by far.

I am really happy on my own but find having solo responsibility stressful.

marblemad · 05/03/2023 04:31

I agree, I'm mid 20's and in not a bad paying job but still not at the point where I can buy right now. Anyone I know who has bought, has done so with a partner and makes comments such as 'but it's so easy' yet they are living in similar houses to what I am aiming to buy on my own at the end of this year and I can't help but think 'yes it was easy for you because you were able to buy the equivalent of half of the house I'm looking to buy, you didn't have to pay 150k you only had to pay 75k' I've worked my arse off to get to where I am career wise so I'm not relying on a partner to be able to buy in my 20's and long term give me financial independence when buying with the right person', however it feels like they always act as if they are so far ahead because they've found a partner to give them a leg up to do so. Like my aunt has been saying if the couple split up tomorrow would either of them be able to buy on their own? absolutely not.

marblemad · 05/03/2023 04:34

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 04:11

@Spectre8 @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune but you are missing the point entirely. Unfortunately we do make the rules so yes it sucks that single people are paying more (per person) than couples. But a single person can choose to be a part of a couple if they want to make that saving. Its all about choices I am afraid. Yes some rules and laws suck for some but its a choice and everyone can choose the path that works out financially best (if they want to that is). If you choose to be alone the consequence is that it costs more. Sucks buts that the reality.

The elevator doesn't go all the way up for you does it?
You are aware people can't just instantly choose to be in a couple??

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 04:59

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 04:11

@Spectre8 @ZeldaWillTellYourFortune but you are missing the point entirely. Unfortunately we do make the rules so yes it sucks that single people are paying more (per person) than couples. But a single person can choose to be a part of a couple if they want to make that saving. Its all about choices I am afraid. Yes some rules and laws suck for some but its a choice and everyone can choose the path that works out financially best (if they want to that is). If you choose to be alone the consequence is that it costs more. Sucks buts that the reality.

What a nutty statement. Well yes some people actively choose to be single, but some do not. And some might have standards and that's why they are single Hmm Are you seriously suggesting that someone should be in a couple with a loser just to save some money??

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 05:00

marblemad · 05/03/2023 04:34

The elevator doesn't go all the way up for you does it?
You are aware people can't just instantly choose to be in a couple??

Show quote history

If you read my first post you will see that I said exactly that.... People may be alone for a few months or even a few years through no fault of their own and that sucks but should be short term really. After a few years you have to look at why you are alone. Is it choice? Is there something you need to improve, your attitude or the way you look? Do you need to try harder to find a partner?

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 05:06

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 04:59

What a nutty statement. Well yes some people actively choose to be single, but some do not. And some might have standards and that's why they are single Hmm Are you seriously suggesting that someone should be in a couple with a loser just to save some money??

Show quote history

The choices are be in a couple and save money or be single and pay more. Both are valid choices. If you are choosing to be single, you are choosing to pay more and have no reason to moan because its a choice. That's my point.

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 05:08

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 05:06

The choices are be in a couple and save money or be single and pay more. Both are valid choices. If you are choosing to be single, you are choosing to pay more and have no reason to moan because its a choice. That's my point.

Show quote history

Well OP is still free to moan about it. We're all allowed to have a moan about our situations if we want to

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 05:13

@Emptycrackedcup OP can moan. I can also say that I think she has no right to moan. Choices choices choices....

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 05:26

abmac95 · 05/03/2023 05:13

@Emptycrackedcup OP can moan. I can also say that I think she has no right to moan. Choices choices choices....

I think you've missed the purpose of this thread Hmm

garlictwist · 05/03/2023 05:30

I have never been more poor than when I was single. I was living in a bed sit, sleeping on the floor as no room for an actual bed, no tv, internet or car as I couldn't afford to pay for them out of one salary.

Im not exactly rolling in it now I have a partner but at least I can afford half a mortgage and bills for a house which there's no way I could have done alone.

10Minutestobedtime · 05/03/2023 06:49

Sorry to hear that your friends and family have been insensitive OP. You should feel proud of yourself for getting onto the housing ladder on your own. Hope you manage to sort your house and get a lodger.

@JamNittyGritty is it your salary or is it your net income that's over the threshold? As you may still be able to claim some if not all of CB if it's not your net income that's over www.gov.uk/child-benefit-tax-charge .