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Original poster

Single life is expensive!

76 replies

Lodgeornot · 03/03/2023 22:29

I just need a whinge and rant, sorry.

Just sick of my colleagues and friends not understanding that my household income is less than half theirs because I'm on my own. I know there's two mouths to feed in a couple and other things you'll obviously need more of but I don't share my mortgage payment, I get 25% off council tax not 50%, I don't have a husband earning a higher salary than my own low end public sector wage giving a more than healthy take home between us. My income is it.

And they've all gone straight from living with parents to partners so they'll never get it. Just argh!

There's so much more but it would never end and potentially outing. I love em, but fuck fuckety fuck off with your cluelessness!

OP posts:
ReverseFerret · 03/03/2023 22:34

I agree
But not having to put up with a man (or living with anyone else)

IMHO is priceless!

Original poster
Lodgeornot · 03/03/2023 23:05

@ReverseFerret I agree, though as my name suggests, I'm contemplating lodgers (albeit female only). But I can't do it until the house is let-able. But they don't understand why I can't just go out and buy the stuff and pay the necessary tradies. Or because they've only lived in lovely family and marital homes that no lodger will pay to live in a house with half stripped walls and no carpet.

Raaaaar!

OP posts:
SleepingRedSnowBootsAndThePea · 03/03/2023 23:10

Doesn't help that the tax system deliberately penalises single people, taxing them far more on the same household income.

RainbowBrightside · 04/03/2023 12:50

I would definitely go for the lodger if I were you. I would still charge the full amount (£625 a month I believe) and explain to the lodger that their rent will enable you to make the house a bit more liveable over time. You’ll probably just have to suck it up and paint/carpet their room though before they arrive. It’ll be worth it in the end though.

AdoraBell · 04/03/2023 12:55

Yep. Been there, had colleagues and relatives who just don’t understand it.

BigFatLiar · 04/03/2023 12:57

We get this to some extent as many of our friends are single. Single supplements on holidays, when we go away for the weekend we share a room obviously whilevour single friends each pay for a room. Dining out we do lots of two for ones, single friends have to organise each other so can't be spontaneous about it. Lots of things are geared towards couples or families.

GetOffMyDoorJack · 04/03/2023 12:59

I hear you. Life is tough with no one to share finances with.

slowsnow · 04/03/2023 13:49

I'm the same as you but I have a lodger makes such a difference

declutteringmymind · 04/03/2023 14:06

I agree with you but not when kids are involved.

Original poster
Lodgeornot · 04/03/2023 15:29

@RainbowBrightside I'm not in a place where I'd ever get 625 for a room.

I'll get there. I'm not struggling. I make ends meet and I'm affording to decorate a little bit each month. It's just frustrating, and they laugh at me for using freecycle and things.

Getting lodger is more to pay off mortgage quicker. My late teens/20s were rough and I feel like I'm playing financial catch up to my peers. Plus, being alone means paying mortgage off early would make a huge difference down the line.

Thanks everyone. It's been good to get a good rant in.

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 04/03/2023 16:32

I hear you.

I can remember discussing holidays with colleagues; I was a single parent with 3 young children. I said I couldn't afford abroad and was looking at the UK. So they suggested these lovely National Trust cottages etc that they'd stayed in. I was thinking along the lines of Haven or Pontins.....

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/03/2023 17:08

Anyone who laughs at you for using Freecycle is a jackass.

BigFatLiar · 04/03/2023 19:49

THisbackwithavengeance · 04/03/2023 16:32

I hear you.

I can remember discussing holidays with colleagues; I was a single parent with 3 young children. I said I couldn't afford abroad and was looking at the UK. So they suggested these lovely National Trust cottages etc that they'd stayed in. I was thinking along the lines of Haven or Pontins.....

With young children they'd probably prefer Pontins or Haven.

Happyher · 04/03/2023 19:56

At least you can choose all the decor and not have rooms that are all a compromise of two tastes. I’m single and love my independence. I was a single parent and someone once described it as ‘one person filling the trough and three people feeding from it’!

Anotheradventureforme · 04/03/2023 19:58

I hear you, it is hard.

I need a side-line!

VintageThoughts · 04/03/2023 20:16

This has really got me thinking..

My ex moved out about 6 months ago and I'm honestly no worse off than I was with him here. My DS has started work and pays me £200 a month but with food bills reduced and less hot water etc being used, I've not noticed being short of money.

He on the other hand is really struggling financially.

One of the reasons I made him move out is because I thought he took the piss a bit where money is concerned and this has just proved it.

I'm really sorry you're finding it hard OP, but not every partner brings financial help to the table!

Backstreets · 04/03/2023 20:25

I hear you. I’m going to give the apps a go this year and he needs to make at least as much as me. I’m doing fine, but with rising costs on mortgage and heating and… everything, pretty much all little treats (going to movies, bars, cafes, buying new clothes etc) is off the table except for maybe the first week after payday and I’ve had it up to here with it.

CovertImage · 04/03/2023 20:29

The council tax thing pisses me off. A family home can have 3 or - theoretically - several more working adults in the same family and they only have a single council tax bill.

I begrudge them the single bill less than I do the 25% only reduction for a single person

ConkerBonkers · 04/03/2023 20:30

Have you not read all the many threads women on here post where their partners do not equally contribute? Please thing yourself lucky you are not paying 100 percent mortgage, 100 percent council tax, and 2.5 times your current spend on food, and household supplies. If your colleagues are in this position they most likely will not tell you about it. Everyone has a right to moan about the col, it does not more greatly affect every single person.

CrapBucket · 04/03/2023 20:30

Oh I hear you! Single parent to teens. I literally can't work any harder and I'm so frugal. Then to hear colleagues declaring how they may cut down on getting someone to do their ironing... wtf... and my ex is dropping the amount he contributes for child maintenance 'because everything is expensive for him'... double wtf

CovertImage · 04/03/2023 20:30

ConkerBonkers · 04/03/2023 20:30

Have you not read all the many threads women on here post where their partners do not equally contribute? Please thing yourself lucky you are not paying 100 percent mortgage, 100 percent council tax, and 2.5 times your current spend on food, and household supplies. If your colleagues are in this position they most likely will not tell you about it. Everyone has a right to moan about the col, it does not more greatly affect every single person.

That didn't take long did it?

PurpleSky300 · 04/03/2023 20:37

I hear you, it's madness.

I am trying to find a new job and was looking to see if I could afford to live closer to the city to cut down commute time - it's just impossible with my budget. £600 gets me a small house further out, but not even a 1-bed flat in the city - literally no options under 750pcm apart from house shares. It feels like that's what single people have to do now - stay in a house share forever(!) or move miles away from the social life and opportunities of a city just to have a place of your own. Ludicrous.

Spareprincess · 04/03/2023 20:47

I love living alone so so much & would hate to have to put up with a man in my home/bedroom/bed. I would also hate having to clean after a man, particularly his revolting skid marks.

Well worth the sacrifice of having to pay for everything yourself when you get to enjoy it all in peace.

Emptycrackedcup · 04/03/2023 20:53

ReverseFerret · 03/03/2023 22:34

I agree
But not having to put up with a man (or living with anyone else)

IMHO is priceless!

This 💯

butterfliedtwo · 04/03/2023 20:59

I agree but every time it gets to me I think about my freedom from dealing with everything I read about here and see with coupled up friends.

It's priceless to me.

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