What am I supposed to do now?

[thisisscary]

I'm a newly single mum, DC with SEN so I can only work part time. How do I keep us going on my own?

I've cancelled non-essentials and reduced bills wherever I can but I'm still hundreds of pounds short this month and realisticaly every month for the next few months as am waiting for UC and hopefully DLA to be agreed. In the meantime we are cold, sitting in the half-dark until we absolutely have to put the lights on, eating the cheapest cheap food I can find including out of date giveaways on neighbourhood freegle type groups. The benefits office gave me a loan but it didn't even cover the mortgage. Can't get food banks without UC and am still waiting to hear about that.

The energy company agreed to reduce my monthly DD for gas/elec but have messed up and nearly tripled it instead, despite me having confirmation from them of the new amount, of course I can't get through to them now with everyone trying to contact them about price rises. Have asked for a reduction on council tax but it's taking them ages to sort it out. Long term I can try to get better paid work but that won't happen overnight. I've just been to the bathroom to have a little cry where DC can't see me.

What am I supposed to do? Please throw all your ideas at me in case there's something I've not thought of.

If you have a mobile I would also suggest downloading Airtime Rewards. You register your bank card and just shop in normal way, and get cash back with retailers such as Boots. This cashback can be redeemed off your mobile phone bill, if I shop grocery shop at one of the retailers I usually make 10 pounds a month off my phone bill.
When you have downloaded the app you can go to promo code and put this referral code in. It gives you 50p cashback.

KAVJXMCJ

Another thing is quidco. It is a cashback app so if you use it as a starting point before you buy online, including online grocery shops, it gives you cashback. Also, renew all your energy and insurances like pet, home, car on it and you make much more. I just got 70 pounds cashback for pet insurance for example.

You can use this referral code and it gives you an extra 5 pounds bonus when your first 5 pounds cashback clears. It takes months to clear but I usually make around 400 pounds for Xmas. You can withdraw as a voucher and make an extra percentage, such as I withdraw for Nike and buy each child a tracksuit for Christmas.

app.quidco.com/raf/1qnW

If in the North of England look at this foodbank

www.breadandbutterthing.org/members

Another cashback app is topcashback - sign up to that and quidco then if you need ie car insurance you can compare the two and see which one gives you more cashback. Sometimes you only earn a £ or two but I've had £30 or more for things like insyrance and mobile phone.

OP I'm so sorry you find yourself in this shitter of a time. I've been there too. It does get better.

In the mean time I know that the money stuff is all consuming so really keep an eye on yourself.

What is your support network like? Let people in. You'll probably find that friends/family/colleagues are more than happy to help out where they can and would hate to know that you are struggling.

Ask for help, it's hard but you can do it and you can repay the favours when in a better place.

There is a charity called homestart who may be able to help you if cover your area where volunteers come round and play with DC, help take the load off while you do what you need to do whether that is do some chores or get a 5 min breather.

Ask your DC school if there's anything you can make use of eg uniform swapping schemes or toy banks that can save you some money.

Facebook marketplace is amazing as is Vinted for selling stuff. We are also entering spring so car boot sales are starting again. I usually do one every now and again to raise cash and clear out. Even if you get 50 p for something it's useful when it's something you don't need anymore. Plus it's less clutter to clean/keep on top of.

You can sign up online to sample and freebie websites to get free samples of products sent to your door. You get a lot of email spam so worth setting up a separate email address just for this stuff, use the same one for filling in online surveys like a previous poster said. It can add up if you aren't doing anything else that evening.

In terms of your shopping please look if you have a company shop/community shop in your area. I save so much money shopping there and when I'm in a tight spot doing my main shop there combined with olio/tgtg bags then can eat really cheaply overall.

OP I wish you the best and just know that you can overcome this and your life will get so much better

I don't know if you'll come back to this thread @thisisscary but in your shoes I would really try and hang into your house/home (I understand you are very likely stuck with it anyway if your ex is on the deeds/mortgage).

Can you and the dc all sleep on one bedroom and then you have a spare room for a lodger?
I'm in the SE and I rent a room this way for £600pm (nothing special about the room either).
Yes it bumps up your bills a bit and obviously you need to be sensible about who you rent a room to with dc around, but it's tax free and importantly doesn't affect UC.

UC doesn't help with mortgage payments, but from what I hear it hardly covers rent anyway these days either so for you and your dcs future you really need to prioritise keeping the mortgage paid.

@thisisscary not sure if you are still reading.

Exceptional relief fund /hardship fund for additional council tax support.

Household support fund from council for food/energy.

watersure from water company.

Broadband - social tariff for those on UC. BT offer basic for £15pm including 700 minutes of calls. £20 per month unlimited calls and fast broadband.

I'm still here and things have got better.

UC and DLA were both awarded along with FSM. I can now make ends meet if I'm careful and I know DC can eat at school. Training up at work and hoping to get better paid in a few months.

There were a few very dark weeks to start with, we found Olio invaluable for free food. DC birthday paid for with Argos voucher from Nectar points. Council tax gave me a single person reduction and an exceptional circumstances reduction. Water board also reduced my bill. Couldn't sort out the direct debit for Gas/Electric so just cancelled the DD and now get billed monthly for what I've used based on the readings I give. The extra that they took when they messed up I've left on the account for winter when prices rise again and we need the heating on.

The icing on the cake is the kindness everywhere I turn. From people who know what's happened and those who don't. Strangers giving me the end of their pay and display parking tickets, the shoe shop owner giving me 10% off for no reason I could work out other than we'd had a nice chat, a lady I bought uniform off on fb marketplace throwing in two bin bags of clothes in the right size for my DC, guy buying books from DC giving them an extra couple of quid for their moneybox. Plus of course support from strangers on the internet. Little things like that add up to a lot.

@thisisscary Thank you for coming back and updating, I've just been reading your thread with increasing concern. I'm so pleased things are going better for you and you're getting some support. Well done you for holding things together!

It's always darkest before the dawn, but it sounds like things are on the up. Take care sweetheart and good luck, and remember there is always good advice on here if you need it. ❤️

@thisisscary
"I know I can do this and in a year I'll look back and have come out of it. I just don't know how to come out of it at the moment".
Just read your update. You are going to be fine. Good to hear of your persistence and the kindness you've experienced.