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Cost of living

Stretching your budget? Share tips and advice to discuss budgeting and energy saving here. For the latest deals and discounts, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

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Original poster

What am I supposed to do now?

85 replies

thisisscary · 04/04/2022 12:51

I'm a newly single mum, DC with SEN so I can only work part time. How do I keep us going on my own?

I've cancelled non-essentials and reduced bills wherever I can but I'm still hundreds of pounds short this month and realisticaly every month for the next few months as am waiting for UC and hopefully DLA to be agreed. In the meantime we are cold, sitting in the half-dark until we absolutely have to put the lights on, eating the cheapest cheap food I can find including out of date giveaways on neighbourhood freegle type groups. The benefits office gave me a loan but it didn't even cover the mortgage. Can't get food banks without UC and am still waiting to hear about that.

The energy company agreed to reduce my monthly DD for gas/elec but have messed up and nearly tripled it instead, despite me having confirmation from them of the new amount, of course I can't get through to them now with everyone trying to contact them about price rises. Have asked for a reduction on council tax but it's taking them ages to sort it out. Long term I can try to get better paid work but that won't happen overnight. I've just been to the bathroom to have a little cry where DC can't see me.

What am I supposed to do? Please throw all your ideas at me in case there's something I've not thought of.

OP posts:

TheWayTheLightFalls · 04/04/2022 15:13

Write to/phone the nearest food bank - even without a referral I expect they’ll do you a food parcel in these circumstances. Also google for local social supermarkets/gleaning pantries/community food projects that can offer you a weekly shop for a few £.

ColouringPencils · 04/04/2022 15:28

I am so sorry you are in this position. I don't really have any good ideas, except I am quite good on cheap meals. It sounds like you are already eating cheaply, but it might be worth thinking about how filling things are. Some food doesn't really fill you up at all. Have you got shops like Home Bargains/B&M near you?
Can you keep warm by wearing extra layers and using blankets on the sofa?
I know you said you haven't been able to use a food bank, but I think if you went to a church they would not turn you away. Maybe it would be better not to go at their food bank slot and just explain that you need some help. The church I attend sometimes say every week that if people are struggling they should come and speak to them.

FloBot7 · 04/04/2022 15:29

Haven't read all of the replies but just wanted to mention that my local citizens advice gives out vouchers for the local food bank (Trussell Trust). They just ask about your situation, they don't need you to have UC. They take the attitude that anyone on a low income can find themselves in the situation of having no cash and no access to credit to buy food, even the ones who work in low paid jobs.

CrowUpNorth · 04/04/2022 15:30

May well not apply to you, but if you are in a union for your part time job they often have hardship funds / associated charities.

LifeExperience · 04/04/2022 15:37

Call all your local churches/mosques/temples. Many offer food to anyone, no questions asked.

Imitatingdory · 04/04/2022 15:46

It won’t help with your immediate problem, but once you have sorted something for now and have the headspace, apply for a Family Fund grant.

Ask your LA about a carer’s grant too, and the household support fund.

If you feel able to say more about DC’s SEN there may be other charities that can help too.

Mossstitch · 04/04/2022 15:46

I've been in the position of using credit cards to feed my kids in the long gone past. (do you have any, I've just had email from m & s offering balance transfer to 0% for 24 months, that might be worth looking into, even if you just did a massive food shop on one then transferred the balance to a 0%. card it would give you a cushion/breathing space) I tried alsorts to keep my house because, as you say, social security as it was in those days wouldn't help with the mortgage whereas if I'd been in rented property it would have been paid via housing benefit. Eventually I downsized to sort out the finances but in the short term all three kids came in with me and I rented rooms out to students from the local uni. In the holidays I did bed and board to foreign students doing language courses and shopped at aldis for cheap food. I don't know anything about women's aid but would they be able to help in view of the assault. Please don't be afraid to explain your circumstances to neighbours, I know if you were my neighbour I would be more than willing to help pay your bills temporarily and feed your children as I'm now in a much healthier financial position and understand what it is like. 💐

Cornettoninja · 04/04/2022 15:48

@LifeExperience

Call all your local churches/mosques/temples. Many offer food to anyone, no questions asked.

I second this. My local church runs a community shop once a week, take what you need, no referrals needed and no questions asked.

If you have a local Gurdwara they will definitely feed you and your dc although I think you would have to eat there not take food away. It’s more of a community kitchen iyswim.

Check their local Facebook pages.

AnxiousHeffalump · 04/04/2022 15:49

Switch the mortgage to interest only.
Phone the school/s and explain - I know that my school will put free school meals in place for a short period of time when families are struggling.

AnxiousHeffalump · 04/04/2022 15:50

Also, do you use the Olio app?

Ebananascroogey · 04/04/2022 16:15

Haven't read all the comments so don't know if this has been suggested, but dwp offer something called Support for mortgage interest. It's in the form of a loan rather than a benefit, but might be worth asking your adviser about?

R2G · 04/04/2022 18:15

This is just a very small thing but I do an hour of surveys a night. I usually make around 3 pounds a day but this could help with some sweets for your child, milk, bread eggs, that kind of thing. If you use this link you get 40p to start you off.

I'm inviting you to join AttaPoll. Get paid to take surveys. Download the app here: attapoll.app/join/skawm

R2G · 04/04/2022 18:15

Also in your area do you have The Bread and Butter thing for food shop

CCSS15 · 04/04/2022 19:50

Go back to your mortgage provider (would help if you said who it was) and push them to talk you through what options are available - ask to speak to someone else if they say they can't help as you aren't yet in areas. If they still refuse to help, put it in writing and send a copy to their mortgages operations team as well as the chief exec - you want a short term concession, explain your circumstances and why its only short term.

Babyroobs · 04/04/2022 20:57

If you've made a Uc claim then you can take an advance to tide you over until first payment comes through.

Babyroobs · 04/04/2022 20:59

@Babyroobs

If you've made a Uc claim then you can take an advance to tide you over until first payment comes through.

Sorry just re-read and saw you have had an advance.

Babyroobs · 04/04/2022 21:03

@Ebananascroogey

To claim mortgage interest support help, op would need to be claiming Uc and have no earnings at all for 39 weeks, so this wont be an option. Op will get much more UC once DLA is awarded and child disability element applied to Uc and carers element also applied plus the DLA which is paid separately. Unfortunately on UC there is no specific help with paying a mortgage but she will get a higher work allowance meaning she can earn up to £553 per month before there are any deductions on the UC payment for earnings.

Cheermonger · 04/04/2022 21:04

Where do you work as they might have an occupational welfare charity and some give hardship grants. For example the hospitality industry has the below but many other professions have their own too www.hospitalityaction.org.uk/get-help/

SofieM0 · 04/04/2022 21:16

I saw someone post about this food prep site on another thread: thriftylesley.com/

It’s ridiculous to write this and I feel for you in this position but they also include meals when you have no power to cook or freeze food. For those of us who are prepping to have power off (madness!!)

eldorado02 · 04/04/2022 21:28

My local church runs a food bank and anyone can attend without a referral. They’re not a branch of Trussell Trust, so maybe look online to see if any of your local churches run their own food bank.

jenkel · 04/04/2022 21:32

Check your local churches, our local one does a food bank once a week, no questions asked.

LittleOwl153 · 04/04/2022 21:59

On the foodbank front... you don't need UC to get a food parcel from a foodbank. Trussell trust are a franchise set up so each bank is as individual as the non Trussell ones and trustees make their own decisions. However I work with several an none are UC only. You will need a referral from your child's school, a health visitor, CAB, vicar or something similar. However if you email the address on the website they should be able to give you the options for referrals near you. You can also get an emergency food parcel by showing up at their session and explaining your situation. It is worth contacting them as they will have other connections which might help you. For example one of ours has a food box system when they distribute a box if food each week for £3? The food comes from fairshare so is random but certainly enough to feed yourself and a kid. They also have connections to energy vouchers etc.

Mortgage - have you asked about interest only for a period of say 6 months till you get on your feet?

Free school meals - if you are under the threshold this month - you said you have struggled to earn this month - then you might well be entitled to fsm for a shirt time until your earnings are back to normal.

DLA you are looking at around a 12 week wait for a decision. There is a thread on here of people waiting and reporting timescales.

Madcats · 04/04/2022 22:03

Just wanted to pop on here to echo suggestion to talk to your local Citizens Advice. Water companies have schemes to help with water bills and local government were given a lot of money to help the most needy with their monthly fuel bills.

Schemes will vary, but it is worth asking.

ineedafairygodmother · 04/04/2022 22:18

Citizens advice will arrange voucher for food bank, with or without universal credit claims.
Universal credit will also give an advance while they are processing your claim
Sorry it's not much info, but hope it helps

Original poster

thisisscary · 05/04/2022 15:15

Thank you everyone, so many replies am going to read everything carefully and make a list. I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply, I feel very alone at the moment.

Apparently I should get my first UC in the next week - hooray! And it seems a lot more help opens up once I have that so fingers crossed...

OP posts:

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