What am I supposed to do now?

[thisisscary]

I'm a newly single mum, DC with SEN so I can only work part time. How do I keep us going on my own?

I've cancelled non-essentials and reduced bills wherever I can but I'm still hundreds of pounds short this month and realisticaly every month for the next few months as am waiting for UC and hopefully DLA to be agreed. In the meantime we are cold, sitting in the half-dark until we absolutely have to put the lights on, eating the cheapest cheap food I can find including out of date giveaways on neighbourhood freegle type groups. The benefits office gave me a loan but it didn't even cover the mortgage. Can't get food banks without UC and am still waiting to hear about that.

The energy company agreed to reduce my monthly DD for gas/elec but have messed up and nearly tripled it instead, despite me having confirmation from them of the new amount, of course I can't get through to them now with everyone trying to contact them about price rises. Have asked for a reduction on council tax but it's taking them ages to sort it out. Long term I can try to get better paid work but that won't happen overnight. I've just been to the bathroom to have a little cry where DC can't see me.

What am I supposed to do? Please throw all your ideas at me in case there's something I've not thought of.

Ooh water company i hadn't thought of that thank you

@thisisscary

Yep applied for council tax discount. No driveway sadly. Am limited to what I can do with the mortgage without my ex agreeing and he won't.

Loyalty points - genius!! I'm sure I must have loads will dig out all my cards and see what I've got. Thank you!

Trussel Trust I've not heard of will look into that thank you so much.

Never mind single adult discount, council will give you a discount for being on UC and possibly take other circs into consideration (like being a carer) and even reduce council tax to nil. This is what happened to me when I lost my job and my husband in short succession.

The water company also gave me some discounts. It all helped massively when I needed it. Good luck.

Talk to school re: free school meals too, if you haven't already

Have just remembered that the local Round Table has just compiled a list of all the local aid and support agencies for people to seek help from. Leaflets all over the place.

Our local MP also published and sent out a similar list to all homes in the constituency. Call your MP's local office.
Your local library probably keeps up to date info.

Has anyone suggested you look at local church? Still v covid befuddled so I might have missed that. They often offer cheap or free lunches even if you're not in the congregation.

@Redfloweryellowflower

Look at money saving expert website lots of helpful bits on there for both budgeting and increasing income.

I'm sure you have already but go through you standing orders and direct debits and cancel anything not completely necessary.

Get the olio app as well. Same idea of passing on unwanted food (and other things).

Is there anything you can sell on ebay/gumtree/marketplace? Every little bit will help.

Olio is where I've been getting the free food from, it's great!

Hadn't thought of MSE will look there too thanks, yes have cancelled everything none essential. I don't have much of value to be honest, I've already sold my jewellery, only got £100 for it which I wasn't very happy with to be honest, and I need my rusty old car to get DC to school and back. Have got some bits and bobs on FB marketplace, just clothes and toys that are too little for DC now.

As PP said, if the DD came out today you can call your bank and recall the payment - just tell them they have taken more than the agreed amount. I had to do it a few times last year when EE kept taking 2/3 times the amount for my phone bill! Good luck OP…you’ll get there 💐

Please call the CAB or another trusted local advice service. They will be able to offer the best advice and should be able to do things like refer to a food and etc whilst you're waiting. Lots of areas have council hardship funds etc but they will be the expert on this in your area. What part of the country are you in, roughly?

@1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids that's really interesting about the council tax, I'll get back on to them and ask thank you

Will also get on to bank.

I'm over the threshold for free school meals.

When (please when, not if) I get on to UC it looks like I will be able to access more help from various places and I know if DLA is granted for DC I'll have enough as UC will go up too but in the meantime I'm really struggling. It's like there's all this help out there but not yet.

Enquire with your local council to see if they do an Exceptional Circumstances Hardship Payment towards your council tax. Could reduce it by a chunk.

@georgedawes

Please call the CAB or another trusted local advice service. They will be able to offer the best advice and should be able to do things like refer to a food and etc whilst you're waiting. Lots of areas have council hardship funds etc but they will be the expert on this in your area. What part of the country are you in, roughly?

I'm oop north will look at CAB thank you

Can your parents or siblings help you out for a couple of months until things stabilise?

Failing that, check if you have a St Vincent de Paul society near you - they won't give cash but do pay utilities (as a one-off) and give Tesco vouchers. Your DC's school may also have a hardship fund.

In the long run the house is a problem, and you need to find a way to sell it, unless you will be earning enough to pay the mortgage. Even then you are essentially paying money to your ex by doing so.

Be as honest and open with people, you do not need to beg but often people will help. Do not be too proud to take help where it is offered.

How much money do you have right now, what is your next bill and when is it due?

Prioritise your mortgage over everything else, do not lose your home.

If they have taken the wrong amaount for your energy, even if was not taken today, ring your bank and do a claim under the direct debit indemity guarantee and the funds should go straight back in your bank whilst you sort it out with your energy provider

Be careful about deciding not to pay by direct debit as some tariffs can be higher (if we get to a point where there are deals lower than the government price cap)

I'm over the threshold for free school meals switch to packed lunches as cheaper.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Find your local cab here. Do call, they will give you good overall advice on how to get through next few weeks. Which council are you under?

I can't believe I am going to be suggesting this as a serious thing to do (rather than a fun experiment...) but here goes.

Google DIY solar heater, and you can get some instructions for making a solar panel using tin cans and a box/cupboard that you can put in front of a window to generate free heat. They recommend buying a small solar panel connected to a 12 volt battery as well. (Look for the cheap ones for about £20-£30). You could probably use that sort of solar panel to run a small light as well.

The other thing to do is to look at foraging rather than skipping meals. The Woodland Trust has a list of what you can forage in different months of the year.

Good luck!

First direct and NatWest are both offering £150 switching cash.

EBay/marketplace anything you can. Even if it’s just a few quid.

Register with DFR or the survey sites for extra income.

Try Olio or Too Good To Go for food. I don’t find them that useful, but it depends on what you have locally. Both need collecting from miles away at 9 or 10 o’clock here. It isn’t worth me dragging the kiddo out of bed at 10pm on a school night to drive 5 miles for a loaf of bread or some pastries. (Not a criticism. Just a barrier for single parents. I can’t see how they could be available earlier and the volunteers are where they are). Food banks don’t usually turn people away and are possibly more useful in terms of what you can get to feed the kids.

Candles can help keep a room warmer. They won’t heat it from cold, but they can make it more comfortable.

Can you find or borrow a wind up or solar lantern? Not that you should have to (bloody Tories!) but to tide you over. Failing that, get up at 5am when it gets light and go to bed at dusk. Jeez, I can’t believe anyone should be forced into this in the UK in this day and age.

I’m sorry, it’s such a tough situation and I wish you well.

You are all so helpful thank you!

So long term I'll be able to afford the mortgage, will either get the house in the divorce or will sell up and go elsewhere, will have to see what happens, but I'm pretty sure long term the monthly payments will be ok. I've not been able to work much due to what's happened (don't want to go into detail cos am trying to hold it together but basically he assaulted me) so my income is down but it's temporary, if I can pull myself back together and train up a bit I'll have enough money. Doesn't happen overnight though.

@carefullycourageous I've got about 300 quid, next bills are middle of the month.

We have some food in the house but I'm trying to figure out the next 5 months or so. If DC get their DLA my UC will go up too and I reckon that will be just in time for the summer hols which is good because I can't work much with DC off school. Come September I'll hopefully have DLA, UC and be more able to work so that's kind of my target. It's the bit between now and then that's a big worry.

My friend once got food parcels from The Salvation Army..

Foodbank & you might be entitled to help with fuel bills.

Do you have the nextdoor app? My local one has a lot of options for people struggling to buy food

May be worth a look

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but have a look at the "earn £10 a day" thread on here.

Intellizoon is good, as is Prolific. Basically they pay you for online market research/uni research.

@thisisscary

Never heard of gingerbread (apart from the tasty sort) I'll look thank you.

The trussel trust I just checked and they pointed me to the local foodbank, which I need a voucher for, which I need UC to get. Round and round in circles. DC primary age, school are supportive but refer back to social worker, social worker says to ask benefits office, benefits office says wait. Juggling DC's SEN, working (school hols now, wfh and looking after DC) and trying to deal with no money plus a recent very messy breakup is really hard

Our school can issue food back vouchers. Go back to them and ask again, say you can't get them from anywhere else.

Is your child eligible for free school meals?