I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

I'm puzzled all the people saying OP can't work full time because she needs to look after DP when the OP herself is trying to shove him into a full time job while staying part time herself 🤷‍♀️ childcare (of kids that are at school most of the day) and running the house will surely be much more achievable for the chap rather than launching back into a 9-5 job after being out of the workplace for a long while?

I hope things improve for you OP and you've had lots of great advice but it sounds like you need to approach your employer for extra shifts in the first instance.

ah yes, because all work places just offer extra shifts like that. I have literally never worked anywhere that does!

It's much more realistic than her DP successfully getting a brand new full time job at the moment though isn't it which is what the OP has mooted. Poor bloke.

1. work full time
2. sell one of your cars

@NoSleepInTheHeat

1) work full time 2) sell one of your cars

Christ. Have you actually read the thread.

Why not suggest she morph into wonderwoman care for kids work care for husband pay the bills do the shopping clean up

But the children will be back in school. If she thinks her DP is perfectly capable to go out to work full time, she clearly doesn't feel the need to "care" for him. Pay the bills and clean the house? As per every other adult does?

Why isn't she doing calculations on benefit calculators and answering her own questions? Universal credit isn't massively affected by a household income of £800 a month. You get a 63p deduction for every £1 you earn over £592.

Without the £800 she'd get the full whack of UC. By bringing in £800 a month, her UC is only reduced by £131. She's still entitled to the bulk of it, plus her £800. And a council tax reduction. And child benefit.

Has anyone actually done the calc to see what the shortfall is, as this should all have been calculated when she put her claim in for UC so I don't see why there's confusion now?

I'm really sorry to hear that you're in straits and that your husband is ill, OP. You've had some really brilliant advice on your thread.

If this were me though, I'd write to Sky (recorded delivery) telling them that I can't afford that package and that I'm cancelling it immediately.

It's one of the few bills that isn't going to result in you losing your home and when you're better off, you can get a stream channel. We don't have Sky but that's because of poor signal, they're rubbish as a provider too. You don't need them.

That's £54 every month that you get back. Use it to what onto your highest interest debt, it's surprising how quickly it starts making a difference - or use it as you really need it. Either way, it's your £54 back in your pocket.

Hope things get better for you and I second Martin Lewis's site.

@Beaniebeemer what debts are they? Contact them all and offer a much smaller payment. I know someone who pays £5 a month on several debts she used to pay more but lost her job, she contacted each one and they accepted her offer.

£600 a month on debt is a massive portion of your outgoings and until your circumstances change for the better you will have to reduce the payments.

Where do you shop? If you don’t already, swap to lidl or aldi. I’ve changed to lidl from Tesco and saving quite a chunk each week. (Used to spend approx £80 a week at Tesco now spending no more than £50 in lidl - you also get the lidl reward if you spend £200 in a month, you get £10 off your next shop, you just need to download the app and you’ll get £5 off your first £25 spend)

Do you need 2 cars? I know you are saying they aren’t worth much (neither is mine!) but it’s not that what the other posters are meaning, it’s the cost of running them, fuel / insurance / mot / repairs etc.

How is your husband now? Is he mentally fit for work? Because if he’s not then whatever job you find him he probably won’t last long.

Have you already applied for universal credit? You will get your statement 7 days before your payment to let you know what you will receive.

Also look into council tax reduction. You will need to contact your council direct as it’s separate to universal credit.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

How is this helpful? Rent will cost as much or more it says in the OP.

@Heyha

It's much more realistic than her DP successfully getting a brand new full time job at the moment though isn't it which is what the OP has mooted. Poor bloke.

its not realistic if it isnt something her work offer!

@DarkDarkNight

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

How is this helpful? Rent will cost as much or more it says in the OP.

It’s not something I would suggest but presumably the thinking is that OP would use some of the £100k equity in her house to pay the rent.

Do we know where they live and the jobs? My son drives a delivery van full time and that pays about £22k but you need a driving licence. If they both did that they would be on £44k a year. You can do shifts too so may even be able to work it around their childcare needs.

This is just a blip.

The answer is to increase your income with your DP getting a proper job (not self employed) once he is better.

Stop paying all consumer debts. Tell them once things improve you will get back to them.

This may free up money for essentials - food, heating, internet and housing. Is your mortgage on internet only? If not talk to your lender and see how they can help,

Recommend reading the Total money makeover by Dave Ramsey,

Selling the property is a short term solution that will be painful in the long term.

And the poster below who mentioned stop paying sky is spot on.

Just stop paying it.

In fact stop paying anything that isn't essential.

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.
If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation

This is very blunt but not incorrect and certainly not an uncommon situation given what’s happened with covid.

OP you can’t afford to live.
You have extensive debts and your income isn’t likely to increase to a point you can comfortably manage in the near future.
You don’t sound like you’re being realistic. Pushing your DH into a FT job does not sound like a plausible and you currently have no way out.

Wanting to keep the £100k equity you have in your home is unfortunately not a choice. It’s like elderly people who don’t want to sell their homes to pay for care. They are made to and it sucks but that’s life. If you are in receipt of the correct benefits and still can’t afford to meet your bare minimum living expenses then you can’t simply choose to remain sat on £100k equity: you HAVE to release it and use it to live on. That’s the way it works.

Wanting to keep the £100k equity you have in your home is unfortunately not a choice

it 100% IS a choice, evidenced by the many other better suggestions upthread.

Depending one the market in the OP’s area, selling her home could take months, if it sells at all. It’s potentially an extremely long term solution. Presumably she’d also need to have secured a suitable rental before she sells her home, so would need to have paid a deposit at least on a rental property which would be extremely difficult if you don’t have any money.

@Windchangeface

*£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you. If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation*

This is very blunt but not incorrect and certainly not an uncommon situation given what’s happened with covid.

OP you can’t afford to live.
You have extensive debts and your income isn’t likely to increase to a point you can comfortably manage in the near future.
You don’t sound like you’re being realistic. Pushing your DH into a FT job does not sound like a plausible and you currently have no way out.

Wanting to keep the £100k equity you have in your home is unfortunately not a choice. It’s like elderly people who don’t want to sell their homes to pay for care. They are made to and it sucks but that’s life. If you are in receipt of the correct benefits and still can’t afford to meet your bare minimum living expenses then you can’t simply choose to remain sat on £100k equity: you HAVE to release it and use it to live on. That’s the way it works.

This is absolutely shockingly poor advice. I don't know why you posted it, it is not at all the same as having to pay for care homes.

I'm convinced that some posters just trawl threads looking to cause upset. OP doesn't need this so just stop it, ffs.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation

Yes, if you're struggling to pay your mortgage, why not pay twice as much for rent and have less security too!
Helpful

Sorry to hearing you are struggling OP.

The things that you may possibly to cut back are:

Debts cost about £600 - consolidates and see if you can get a better deal with a lower interests

Gas electricity £85, see if you can switch to get a better deal. I have recently switched to octopus energy and my bill is £20 cheaper per month.

Life / house insurance - £46 : can you get a cheaper insurance?
Cars tax and insurance X2 £80: this is part that you can cut. My husband and I both work full times, I start 7am in the morning and he starts at 9am. He will drop me off and do the school run before work and pick us up in the afternoon. He is carer and has a couple of hours free during the day so he can pick us up. This won’t work for everyone however your DP is not working at moment, can he not possible drop and pick you up so you won’t need two cars?

Sim only mobiles x 2 £20 each so £40: this you can cut! I have just signed up with Vodafone sim only, £7.70 per month, 4GB data, unlimited calls and texts.
You can also talk to your mortgage lender see if you can release some equity, use the money to pay for some high interest debts. I wouldn’t sell the house and rent!

I really don't think letting the house go will help the children, the MH situation or anything else. As I said you need to live somewhere.
The 2 cars is a bit of a mystery......they eat up your money.
Ditch all unecessary spending.
Use food banks. Do you have The Bread and Butter Thing in your area?

Hi OP. Can I have some more info please? How much is your house worth and where (roughly) do you live? How much are your debts overall? Are either or both of you qualified to work in anything specific? How old are your kids?

Sorry that you're in this position OP but you do need to face up to the reality of the situation you're in and make some tough choices. Some people have to work several jobs to survive - part time work is a luxury that few can sustain.

@Windchangeface terrible advice not to mention incredibly rude.