I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

@FortunesFave

The cars need to go. Cycling and walking is the way you do it when you're poor....and I know because I spent many (recent) years doing that.

People think they can't cope without them but you can.

That completely depends on where you live and where you need to go. Getting a bike is not a blanket solution for everyone in every situation.

I couldn't do my job on a bike. DH couldn't get to his job on a bike either - last time I checked, there's no bike in existence that can allow you to carry a cement mixer around with you

I would push for a charity payment, maybe a mh charity or one related to your or his profession, local lions clubs make payments too. as well as pp's advice, ringing each creditor, and supplier gas, electric water etc. if the person on the end of the line is unsympathetic pretend they're breaking up and re-ring later.

Can you sell up and move somewhere cheaper, or mobile home?

@Beaniebeemer

I'm a psychiatrist. Often when someone has been detained (sectioned) there has been some irrational behaviour beforehand leading to debt accumulation. It is very common for me to complete forms to have these debts dealt with (better terms) or written off. If this applies to your family at all, you need to call the companies the debts are with and explain that the debts were accumulated as a result of mental illness and ask for the forms for your husband's psychiatrist to complete.

Otherwise:
Mortgage is £500 -Ask about going interest only, payment holidays etc to get a breather
Debts cost about another £600 -see above and explore debt consolidation, always explaining about husbands illness if relevant
Council tax £172
Gas electricity £85
Water £30
Tv licence / sky - £54 I can’t cancel sky I’m in contract I’ve tried -have you explained about your husbands illness, any chance he took out the contract, these companies are supposed to behave responsibly where mental illness affects your ability to meet contracted obligations
Life / house insurance - £46
Cars tax and insurance X2 £80 -can you take one car off the road?
Fuel - £100
Sim only mobiles x 2 £20 each so £40
The rest goes on food or other child related things.

Good luck. It all sounds really stressful. The way through this kind of thing is usually the combination of lots of small changes.

It won't help much but there are ways to earn online via surveys, website testing etc. Maybe your DH could do something like this to add a but extra? I make about £100 a month but there are other MNers on here who earn much more.

Sesrch for the "earn £10 a day" thread.

@AlwaysLatte @faerveren - I literally asked what you posted in my own post! I was asking OP though because she actually knows the situation as it is now. She says she wants her DP to find a job as the solution so she doesn’t appear that concerned so maybe he is recovering...

[quote Psychonabike]@Beaniebeemer

I'm a psychiatrist. Often when someone has been detained (sectioned) there has been some irrational behaviour beforehand leading to debt accumulation. It is very common for me to complete forms to have these debts dealt with (better terms) or written off. If this applies to your family at all, you need to call the companies the debts are with and explain that the debts were accumulated as a result of mental illness and ask for the forms for your husband's psychiatrist to complete.

Otherwise:
Mortgage is £500 -Ask about going interest only, payment holidays etc to get a breather
Debts cost about another £600 -see above and explore debt consolidation, always explaining about husbands illness if relevant
Council tax £172
Gas electricity £85
Water £30
Tv licence / sky - £54 I can’t cancel sky I’m in contract I’ve tried -have you explained about your husbands illness, any chance he took out the contract, these companies are supposed to behave responsibly where mental illness affects your ability to meet contracted obligations
Life / house insurance - £46
Cars tax and insurance X2 £80 -can you take one car off the road?
Fuel - £100
Sim only mobiles x 2 £20 each so £40
The rest goes on food or other child related things.

Good luck. It all sounds really stressful. The way through this kind of thing is usually the combination of lots of small changes.[/quote]
Really great advice - is there a specific name for the forms the OP could ask for?

OP you have done one of the hard things which is face up to the problem. And you have a mortgage holiday. I didn't see (sorry if I missed it - have had a long day...) whether you have tried to reduce payments on the other debts. I agree that it makes sense to stay in your house if you can, but you won't know if that is possible until you find out about UC. Agree with those saying talk to providers about financial hardship. Keep posting. Many of us have hit financial lows - you are not alone, and there will be a way through it.

Sorry if this isn't helpful, but do you have any relatives who could help with childcare, do that you could work more hours?
I don't know if you live in a populated area where there is a lot of work, but if you do, care work for a few hours a week might make a difference. Here on London, you can find work helping people in their homes.

I don't know what DP likes to do obviously, but again, if where you live is quite densely populated, some gardening work, or something.

I keep thinking of family,. because if a relative could cook you all some meals, that would help, especially if you are going to try to find some extra hours of work.

If your folks or DPs live further away, maybe think about moving nearer to them so they can help, but only if there is work there.

let's say you can pay zero water for a bit, halve your gas and electric, ring debtors, that might save £100 a month, does that work? then progress on the next round, eg car, sky, debtors etc, council re ct, charities eg foodbank and others.
its a lot to mange on your own op, is there a trusted family member who could help you go through this?

@MarieFromStTropez

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

This post is ridiculous! Jeez, how uneducated!

op, I really hope things improve for you!

Don't forget to get the kids registered for free school meals if they aren't already.

Whatever you do, Do not sell your house.

You should never liquidate your assets if you can help it.

Like you say, renting would be far more expensive than your mortgage and it wouldn't take that many years to be in an even worse position.

Agree with others that have said to get a longer-term mortgage and elongate your debt or put it on interest free cards.

Try not to panic - do lots of research and get as much professional advice as you can.

Giffgaff contracts are much cheaper and monthly rolling. £8/month is cheapest.

You said your place is small but is it an expensive area? Moving to a less fancy area with cheaper housing might be worth it.

Could you get a lodger?

another thought - do you have savings for your children? I know for many people this is a red line, but when you are in such a difficult position I think this is justified. You can repay later when finances have improved (and they will improve)

Totally understand the problem around your equity, im in much the same situation...i could sell my house and would have about 70k but it doesnt make sense when i would have to use this to rent at double the amount of my monthly morgage repayment....also this money would affect universal credit....
I stretched the terms of my morgage..this halved my morgage repayments and when things improve i can revert back to original term....
Vodafone have a deal at minute..£11 p/m unlimited calls and texts...
If in recept of dla you can claim tax for 1 car...
Use a nectar card or clubcard when grocery shopping and for fuel...points gather up when you dont touch them for a while and come in handy to use...
Also good advice by pp's to contact debt management about existing debt...£600 seems a lot to be repaying when you have had a change of circumstances...
I really hope you get some help, iv been there and know how stressful it can be but it will get better

Hi Beaniebeemer

I don't think it's been mentioned so far but you might find National debtline helpful, it's a charity and they have template letters for you to send to creditors.

www.nationaldebtline.org/

Debt camel which is written by a debt advisor is also good
debtcamel.co.uk/

As others have said, focus on paying priority debts and it's also worth contacting your gas & electric company as many have support schemes for people who are struggling.

Can you just stop paying your Sky sub? It’s a daylight robbery.
I used to be with British Gas but after a few years switched to another provider. 3 years later British Gas insists I wasn’t out of warranty and still send bills but there’s nothing they can do.
These corporations are shameless

Why can’t you get a second job or work full time? Why is it up to your dp to work full time

There’s always jobs in care

OP you're a family of 4 on 1 x part time job, of course it isn't enough. Your DH needs a job and you need to work full time, why can't you increase your hours "significantly"?

My parents had to use my savings to pay the mortgage for a couple of months when I saw little. Never held it against them. Better to have a house...