Spending October organising our spends - friendly frugaleers this way!

[ememem84]

New thread because old one is almost full. All welcome. fluffy can you be a doll and please post the helpful threads? X x

Thanks for the welcomes.

I have just started properly meal planning and only doing online supermarket shops, this has been good so far as I'm not tempted by things that aren't on the list.

DH is onboard as, like me, he is fed up with working full time and worrying about affording to put fuel in the car for work.

Spending diary is the next step but with half term next week it probably won't reflect a 'normal' week. I will look up the Alvin Hall books.

I didn't spend anything today. I also handed in some bursary forms for the oldest 2 DS's, I'm hoping they get something as DS2's bus pass is £166 a term.

Nursie I would start by writing a list of all your direct debits then you can set a budget for things like food, fuel and extras. That's what I do anyway

Thanks jam, I'm hoping to be better for tomorrow, but still feel pretty rough.

Em, sounds like a good haul on the white goods.

Lonely, that is great news, I'm so pleased for you.

cag I have some of asda's Tupperware and it is good.

Hi tayto and welcome nursie

Ds and I have had a cry. I (according to dh) swooped through the front door. Like some sort of crazed mother bat. Apparently.

Ds saw me and burst into tears. Sad sad sad. So I cried too. Ddad said “Christ. You’ve only been apart since 10. And you phoned your bloody mother twice” 🙄

Anyway. We’ve played. Has a nice cold bath (with lavender oil) nice milky and a story (10 little pirates and dear zoo) and ds is in bed. He went down at 715. Woke up at 815 crying. He’s back in bed snoring his head off now. I’ve moved his cot so it’s next to the bed instead of at the end (more space for it to be at the end of the bed but if he wants to sleep on bed with me then next to bed means he can’t roll out/off bed)

And I’m in bed. Fingers crossed for a good night!

I checked and our mortgage is showing on online banking. £430k. 30 years to pay it off. Let’s see if we can do it in 10. Go!

Dh has done well with the white goods. They’re being delivered on Friday.

The premium bonds people have rejected my application because I didn’t get things to them in time. So I have to do it all again. Ffs. But at least I know to get everything set up and sent through ASAP.

Nursie What’s your food bill like?.

Are you repaying the cc using the standing order trick?.

Hope you both get a good night em, and have a good day with ds tomorrow

NSD for me today.

Congratulations @LonelyOversharer; it must feel great to have faced the situation head on, and had such a good of resolution to your difficulties .

£36 on DH Christmas present. Messed up grocery delivery, rushed home to receive it but it’s coming tomorrow 🤦‍♀️

Yay! Go lonely 🎉

Fluffy - Food bill is £80-£100 per week online then £10-£20 top up in local Co-op. This is for 5 if us that includes 2 teen boys.

Wreck - Think I will do that with the Direct Debits on Friday (my next day off) 3 long days to get through first.

Lonely that is wonderful news! What a great feeling!

I'm absolutely pooped tonight, still sitting here with laptop trying to get through a mountain of life admin. I have had a semi frugal win - realised that I can get tax free childcare top ups for my eldest as well as my little ones so I've transferred some money from savings to qualify for £400 of top up. I figure it must be better than any interest rate . I was getting carried away imagining that we could qualify for £500 of top up a month - half of our childcare bill! - until dh pointed out we'd need to pay in £2000pm to get this (double our childcare bill and money we definitely do not have) - oh well, the dream was nice for a while!

£120 a week with two teen boys isn’t bad. Could you downshift any brands?. Dh never notices if it’s twinings tea or Tesco smart price so smart price it is.

Thanks for the kind words everyone. She has been so much better today than usual apart from this evening . She is a really good night-time sleeper so I shouldn't complain, but it's a good job cos I need the energy to cope with the often near-constant crying day-in, day-out. The other day she broke her crying record and cried for like 2 and a half hours and a lot of that was full-on screaming, even between sips of her bottle! Around the 2hr mark DM came round at DH's insistence as I called him on his lunch break bawling my eyes out too .

Seacow I don't think there is much we can do about our finances really until I go back to work in March . I only get SMP and DH is a student who brings in a grand total of £5k a year bursery. Have our Child Benefit sorted and have finally sent my Tax Credits claim form off today.

Plan for tomorrow is find time to have a long shower so I can shave, because I have my final post-natal exercise class tomorrow evening.

Morning all happy frugal Tuesday everyone

Morning everyone

Bleurgh. It's so dark.

Lonely, that's bloody awesome. I'm so made up for you.

He's your c bear em. Your swoop away.

Hi nursie..

Hey meadow, nice to hear from you.

Hey everyone else.

That's brilliant lonely. Fantastic to have money in the bank and be back in control. Well done.

Em it sounds as though you and ds had a brilliant reunion. Good stuff.

I gave ds the piano music that I wrote for him yesterday and have received constructive criticism.

I also have been asked to be scientific advisor for a film, which is quite exciting.

Hello again everyone, and thanks so much for the welcome! I'd love any referral links that have been mentioned. I've done an outgoings review and have cancelled stupid things like beauty boxes, subscriptions to magazines I never even read. Next I'm going to cancel the yoga membership (which sucks because yoga is the only thing that keeps me sane and stops me from self-hating) and... can't even bear this one...

The cleaner. As a single mum I felt justified in having a cleaner but at £80 a month (£10 an hour for two 4-hour sessions) I'm going to have to say no. Not sure who mentioned that the debt she accrued was a 'keeping it the same' debt but that's exactly what mine is. But how the hell did it become 14K?

Actually most of the debt came about because I wasn't entitled to housing benefit as a single mother because I own my own place and needed income support when I was left with two toddlers aged 1 and 2 so kept racking up the overdraft then using credit cards to pay off the overdraft but still. It doesn't matter whether I ran up the debt on high heels and sushi or keeping a roof over our heads, it's still there and I've got to deal with it.

I feel like an idiot. I earn about £1600 a month so just can't see how I'm going to be able to do it.

Also, agreed on the poster who said that ex-husbands see their child maintenance payments as 'paying money to the mother'. That's exactly what my ex said. I've gone via the Child Maintenance Services now but so far all that's happened is that I've paid them £20 to do sweet FA. Hopefully at some point they'll do something but as I understand it they have no actual powers of enforcement anyway?

Anyway, thanks for the welcome and the tips! I'll try to catch up with the thread and am looking forward to learning from you all.

Warm don't worry we've got your back you can do this.

My referral to TopCashback the biggest payouts are for things like insurances I think but it's worth checking it before you do any online shopping.

If you want to you can list your outgoings. Do you get tax credits etc?

warm it is a slog. It's not fair to feel stupid about the debt though is it? Yet I do too. I almost wish I'd spent it on holidays and high heels, as then I would "deserve" to be in debt. But for keeping wolves from the door, food in bellies...

The cms should sort it out if he is a uk resident tax payer. Apparently that is easy for them. Keep calling them, plug away at it. All calls get recorded, so desperate pleading can't go amis. Any they make him pay, they can take it from his wages they will charge him extra for this! if he's going to be a shit about it. I'm 11 years down this road, can you tell I'm weary of it! 8 to go as I was left pg, with a 1 and 4yo.

Anyhoo, have happy days everyone. I shuffled 12k last night. My biggie isn't due until the end of the month, would it be awful to pay it then and get the interest from my curent account??

Enjoy your boy today em I hope you had a better night x

Hi warm, we are all here for you! Going against the grain here, but if the yoga membership keeps your MH on track, maybe keep that one? If not, my neighbour uses YouTube videos to practice. It's just your well-being mentally is so important, 'tis all.

meadow oh you poor thing, crying for that length of time must be incredibly tough, you must have been desperate by the time DM/DH came home. It doesn't sound at all right either. ❤️

Hope you have had a decent night em

Brilliant news lonely, think you can see from the reaction how much we all root for you on here.

Today's spends will be minimal.
£5 class.
Pay cheques in.
Post sales and spends.

Get the interest lonely.

Meadow, big hug. Criers are hard.

I agree, keep the yoga. Mh is very important. Or at least cancel it last after everything else. Never, ever blame yourself for doing the best by your family.

Warm I thought the same as Jam, maybe keep the yoga? It’s really important to stay healthy in body and mind, you’ve a bit of a slog ahead.

Lonely I am so chuffed for you! I know you didn’t want a mortgage but the difference in cost of the debt is astonishing. You’ve actually got the prospect of being properly free of debt one day, yay!

Meadow that does sound incredibly tight. Will you have childcare costs when you go back to work or will you have help from family?

warm I say keep the yoga too. Working your way out of debt can be really tough mentally and if it’s your go to for your MH, it’s money well spent. Don’t feel bad about this, you should be feeling empowered, you are facing this and tackling it head on and we are all here with you.

lonely great to hear you’ve got your plan all in place now!

em how was your night?

Another disrupted sleep here. DS1 had what I can only assume was a migraine so he was up for a good few hours during the night. Horrible when aside from painkillers and a cool cloth to the head there was nothing I could do for him. He’s shattered and still feeling a bit poorly so I’m keeping him off school today. Sorry folks, but you still get rough nights even when they’re older! 😂 although they are a lot fewer and further between!

Work this morning and I was supposed to be doing a circuits class at lunchtime. But I’m knackered and also got a nail appointment so I’d be seriously pushing it for time to fit it in. Just over an hour to have a shower, have lunch and soak my old nails off. Nah, not doable.