May Making Money Go Frugally Further

[Wolfcub]

New thread

I need strawberries and milk today. Will go into Aldi and won't even get a basket.

Ds is cheerful and unperturbed this morning, and he slept until 7.30am instead of 5.30am, which has never happened before. Gosh! I suppose that means it is a virus, but sleep seems like a good thing.

I think sleep is always good. Ds had a full night here too, so has just left for school with dp. Three days of very broken sleep has left us like zombies (ds appears unaffected ) I pointed out to dp how going back to the newborn stage would probably kill us (NOT that this was ever an option!!! for millions of reasons ).

I have a small window now with an empty house before dp brings me new work home (they are v busy, so the more I do, the better it will be), so I must get off mn and wash up, put on a wash...

Will have to go to Aldi today, need wet dog food, pull ups, milk, etc. I am keeping a list as I go. But it's scary how quickly we need refils of every day things. And I'll have to take a little trolley in for the dog food, will require will power.

Have decided a Lsd for me is under £10. With 6 and pets to feed this seems realistic. I just want to get through the week without doing "a shop".

How old is your youngest Lonely? Good luck with today. I also do not have another newborn phase in me. shot my bolt on the first one

This blog about SN parenting is right on the button.

withoutacrystalball.com/2018/05/21/5-ways-to-seek-joy-for-the-special-needs-mom/

Em I am worried about how I will cope with baby up in the night all the time . I guess you just do what you have to do but argh everything seems so scary at this point with it being so soon. Especially cos I imagine I will have to do almost all the night wakings being off on maternity as DH will be at uni or on placement on weekdays and I am planning to mostly breastfeed anyway. Eek.

I am off today and tomorrow and then my last day of work is Friday YAY. The MW is coming to my flat today for my 36 week appt and to write my birth plan with me. Is it cringey that I literally have a list of questions to ask her about giving birth/hospital facilities etc ?? DH will be here too which is good. Also finally got a letter about my appointment with the 'specialist midwife' which I assume is part of the perinatal mental health team. It is in a fortnight. Which will mean I will have waited 4 or 5 weeks for the appt from point of referral which I think is poor for a pregnant woman tbh but I know it's not their fault if they just don't have the resources available.

Sunny Hope DS is ok.

Laska Hope you are ok and sorry about the news re: DS's job, I know it's hard but he should really try and take some confidence in the fact that he did come second because that means he was excellent and should be able to get something else. A lot of applying for jobs is just luck I think.

It’s definitely not cringey Meadow, it’s very sensible and they will probably expect it anyway! Ask everything, nothing is too stupid.

Newborn nights are really hard but I think the first month is the worst as there’s no routine to it and lots of anxiety as you are still establishing feeding and figuring out what you are doing, especially with the first child! You have a surge of hormones too (helpful in some ways though). Once you are through that it gets much easier. You just need to sleep when the baby does and accept all offers of help (unless they create more work, as certain relatives can do!)

Hello again Laska, Nice to have you back and really sorry DS is having a hard time.

Smurfy welcome and how are you getting on? Your posts have made me feel embarrassed for moaning about a slipped disc, your situation really sounds difficult. I hope you get proper help from SS and also food - isn’t there a meals on wheels type service that can bring you something hot from time to time? Glad you have friends to help, you shouldn’t feel bad asking them when things are so tough, it’s what friends are for. I hope your health improves soon.

I am hobbling along here and slowly getting stronger. It’s been a tiring couple of days with strangers in the house. The babysitter on Monday was great, woman yesterday hadn’t such a knack so I had to be more involved with dd. No lifting though so I’m doing well to stick to that! I know by next week I’ll be sick of having people here constantly and will be feeling stronger so will be tempted to just get on with it... but I should probably have another week with help before I have to lift DD all the time. Sigh.

Today DH is off work to give me a break from strangers but we have to take DS to the GP after school. He’ll be frantic so it will probably take two of us to manage it - he hates the doctor, hates waiting, will want to run... eek. I pretty much never take him, apart from injections I don’t think he’s been for about 3 years as he just usually gets the odd cold, but he has a very persistent cough that is waking him at night and school are also concerned about so off he must go. Wish me luck! 😬

In the meantime today I have to write my speech for dad’s funeral. There will be tears but I feel as though speaking about dad is last thing I can do for him so I really want to do it. 😢

Oof. Crawling baby.

And a gratuitous pic as heavily hinted at by unescorted

My mum asked me this morning “why are you so tired”. REALLY?

Ah seacow it will be hard but you will be proud that you’ve said it

Smurfy I think if you can possibly bear it, you should let your friends help more. They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t care about you and want to help! I do get how hard it is to accept help like that though. But I was just thinking, if you could let them do a big deep clean at least, just to get it to a decent standard that a regular cleaner could maintain after.

And as suggested upthread, rearrange things so that food is accessible to you - mini fridge, or a cool box with ice packs that the morning carers could fill for you? At least, when the shopping is delivered they could put the ambient stuff by your bed, maybe it’s worth focusing on things that don’t need refrigeration. It is utterly wrong that your carers are forgetting to feed you and then not bothering with something proper though. :(

@Smurfy If I had a friend in need as you are I wouldn't think twice about helping so don't you worry. Focus on getting better.
@Cag She is a beaut! Lovely outfit there. My Dd is almost a year and I've never felt brave enough to put her on grass.
@seacow good luck with the doctors today, I hope it goes better than expected also good luck with the speech.

Another nsd yesterday. Pretty pleased with myself. Going to lunch with a friend today and then driving lesson this afternoon so that's £60 at least on the two together. I need to do a food shop to come Tuesday. Have booked the optician for Monday for me and Dp. The test is free as I'm and employee of the company but glasses won't be. Luckily I did some overtime last month.

The outfit was actually sent by seacow as it belonged to her DD first :o ❤️

Have you seen the video, “babies reacting to grass” that’s doing the rounds on faceache, so funny. That photo was actually the first time she was on grass, it only occurred to me as I put her down that she hadn’t actually sat on it before :o I did stop her eating dandelions though.

meadow you may get lucky and get a sleeper!! Ds slept through at 9 weeks. Don’t be too hard on yourself though. Make sure you take care of you stay hydrated (especially if you’re bf) and make sure you eat. In those first weeks dh was an absolute star and left me food out (in the fridge so I had lunch made and snacks for the day). If you have a busy night then make up for it in the day - easy days, nothing better than box sets on Netflix and baby snuggles. I found that in the early days Ds slept loads during the day. So I was able to rest.

cag what a beaut!! Ds isn’t crawling yet. I was talking to a couple of friends about this and they said that first babies tend to crawl later then others as they have no frame of reference. Whether that’s made up or not I don’t know. But I suppose it makes sense.

£63 in joules on gifts for dnephew birthday gifts. And things were on a threefa so I got ds an outfit too. Red crabby short dungas! So. Cute.

DS was crawling competently at 7m, DD only properly ‘got’ it a couple of weeks ago at 10.5 months; before that she was pulling herself around with her arms but not using her knees. She can do speed crawling now, stair gates are going on at the weekend!

Hey Cag, that was my favourite outfit in that size! Gift from my mum. I couldn’t find the t-shirt for ages so was glad it turned up in time to send it with the rest of the stuff. DD looks so big now!

Is putting babies on grass A Thing? I put mine on grass, I just watch in case they try to eat it.

£3 something in Aldi. I'm really pleased I stuck to my list of strawberries and milk as I was starving and right next to kfc

It’s a really cute outfit! I love Bluezoo clothes, so bright. My mum buys them a lot too :o

There is a general trend that subsequent babies pick up stuff quicker I think, as they do indeed have big siblings to copy! Looking back on DD1’s (it STILL weirds me out to write that rather than just DD!) red book, Cagletini is about the same as her with sitting up - but I gave up filling it in after crawling 😂 never bothered at all with DS 😳 but I remember he was pretty much average. I do know for sure though that Cagletini is waaaaaay chattier than the other two ever were - she babbles constantly and I’m sure that’s because she has more of us chatting away to her than the other two. I am often swaying between worrying about this stuff, obviously having two autistic kids already it feels almost inevitable, and also reminding myself it really makes no difference anyway when they do this stuff. What will be will be!

I just placed an eBay bid for the first time in aaaages. I normally just stick to BIN items. But I’ve just got a new dyscalculia book (a bargain in itself - friend selling for £2 when it has been on my wish list for £20+ for years) and a lot of the activities use cuisenaire rods, which I don’t have as I tend to use Numicon. But this book looks great and as I’m really strongly considering that DD1 may have dyscalculia (ed psych assessment is going to be VERY hard to get though because she won’t get an EHCP :() I want to work through the book with her.

Hi everyone

Joining in again if you'll have me? Fell off the thread a few months ago as it was just moving so fast and life was getting in the way. I have been reading in the background though!

Em and Cag the babies are getting so grown up! My own littlest DD is now 16 Months and a complete terror - she's getting into all sorts of mischief at a much younger age than her big bro and sis.

Seacow I am so sorry for your losses. You are coping brilliantly with the back pain - am somewhat in awe of your organisational skills!

Wolf I don't think we've ever spoken but I've been following your story and you're another one whose coping skills put mine to shame

lonely hope you are feeling more in control now.

Hope Sunny Fluffy Lovea Girlie Laska and everyone else are doing ok? I take it we never did hear from need?

Meadow it was not knowing what to expect that scared me silly with DD1. Agree with Em - take it very easy, sleep when baby does. Yes your sleep goes to pot a bit but try not to worry. Best tip I can give you is - newborns do not like being put down. Don't stress yourself out trying to get baby to sleep in a crib/Moses basket if it's proving impossible, just go with the flow, get a soft sling for daytimes and things will settle down after a few weeks. Promise.

Hello to everyone else, looking forward to getting to know you.

Right now I'm not being very frugal. We're away for half term, in Portugal. It's beautiful here but quite spendy. DH keeps reminding me that we've saved for this so just enjoy it, we've had a bit of a rubbish year so far. I guess it was frugaleering and this thread that kept me on track with the savings being away is giving me time to think, life with 3 DC and working FT has proved busier than I expected so I've slightly lost track of my goals! Will post them once I've worked them out.

Hope the pp with spinal problem is OK, (((handhold for you)))

just over 2 weeks ago i ended up in hospital due to spine "going a bit wild", i never felt pain like it. If the exorcist ever is looking for someone to do special effects, im in. I can projectile vom and hit everything but the bowl they give you,

My situation from my last post has improved as i was well pissed off, i made a couple of calls and there was a meeting here this morning with the full time one who is the one who is most responsible for running out the door asap, she said she felt personally that they (care team) coming into my home were doing me a disservice as was making me dependent and she was trying to give me independence back.

I asked her that she try and meet my care needs with a bit of general social chat added as per the care needs stated in my care plan. I am not asking for the earth, the care manager and sw agreed that i was reasonable and asked her to review her thoughts in light of the position she holds. Will review in 6 weeks and hopefully close this.

I slept a lot yesterday so wasnt really able to eat much, i woke at 5am and had a 7am dinner which was meat, 2 veg, potato and gravy and now having trifle as an after, after

The cat is currently behind my head, occassionaly stepping onto my head - NICE

To follow on from my message the other day here is a bit of explaination but i dont want to out myself, i hope you understand.

Longest i have been bedbound in one go was 3.5 months, I have 2 condition which intertwine with each other but are seperate, one minics stroke and mengentis and the other mimics parkinsons, cfs, epilepsy and stroke so its kinda complication, I also have m,e and fibro.

At the minute there are no signals going to my legs but i may have signals in 10 mins time, standing on them is a different kettle of fish as i just crumple right down

Left my bloody shopping at work! Had to come all the way back 😭

Result. Kyc received today. Finally (had to do a lot of threatening to not sign paperwork).
Also filed four tax returns. Ahead of Friday’s deadline! Woop. One of my clients likes us to get it filed at 5.59pm (6pm deadline last Friday in May). So I’ll have to do that on Friday. He likes the receipt. Ffs.

Glorious sunshine here today. Have to grab ds from Nursery in a bit! Yay! Then to DMs for lamb curry. Mmm.

That's a piss poor excuse for not doing her job properly Smurfy, basically she accused you of idleness. Can you do an online shop and take advantage of the opening offers?.

Cag She is a little beauty.

£1.60 sains, marked down milk, carrots and smart price tooth brushes.
£2.50 homebargains, dolmio, pitta bread and eucryl tooth powder.
£2.32 Morrisons. Soya milk and smart price pasta twirls.

Thanks everyone. Bought a few baby bits in the Tu sale from Argos, DH will collect them one day after uni.

Lettings Agent have contacted us to say they haven't received our May rent even though I paid it on the 12th. Upon investigating we have realised there's no digits after the payment like they are with every other payment, but the money did leave my account. Lettings agent said if there's no digits it will just be floating about somewhere in cyberspace. I have been on hold waiting for the bank for the last 15 minutes...bloody TSB. If it wasn't for my interest & fee-free overdraft I would have switched already .

Wreck Ugh that sucks!

Midwife was helpful apart from the fact that she couldn't really help that I live on the third floor with no lift and if I end up having to have a CS I will probably be housebound for awhile if unable to go up and down the stairs and carry baby up and down the stairs . Eek.

Meadow I understand exactly where you are coming from. In your shoes I would be actually talking to extended family and parents and asking for all the help that they can give you. It's possible that you will have a natural birth and a kid that sleeps through from 6 weeks. But it's equally likely that you will have a cs and a kid who sleeps through after (s)he starts school. What you need to do is to get as much help in place now before you're too sleep deprived to ask. Does that make sense?

fwiw, I didn't do any of that and just burnt out shockingly when ds started school. I've never been great at asking for help, but maybe you can do better than I did.

Meadow
I do think societys expectations surrounding sleep and babies is some what adrift.
BF babies get fattier nutrient richer milk at night -they are designed to feed in this way.
Its not "wrong" in the early weeks and I for one would have been terrified if my small babies had slept through.
The trick is to stuff everything else and just concentrate on enjoying your little one and bonding
Before you know it they will be teenagers and they sleep until 2pm
Ocado £143 -only do every once in a while and all offers .
Catfood and Chicken pellets £34 lasts ages.

If you have a c section you probably won’t care you can’t go out.