Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Cost of living

Stretching your budget? Share tips and advice to discuss budgeting and energy saving here. For the latest deals and discounts, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Just embarrassed myself in a defining moment in supermarket. Need to vent.

53 replies

minesapintofwine · 06/12/2017 11:28

I'm so embarrassed.

2017,money wise, has been our worst year financially and a real struggle. Finally things are looking up and I'm optimistic.

So this am,wandering around Aldi, I basically picked up a few extras that I didn't need cos ya know I've got money in the bank now. Or so I thought.

Got to the till with my epic shop and my card wouldn't go through. It's OK I said I've got another card I'll just go and draw some out to make up the difference. There wasn't enough on that card either Blush. And because they'd already put the receipt through they had to put the entire shop through again before they could start taking stuff off. So basically I caused chaos and every single customer and staff member there can now see my financial status, probably wondering why I'd shoved so much in in the first place.

The cashier was so helpful,non judgemental and considerate. I'm going to send her a thank you card (in the post,cos I'm never going there again). I think it was the fact that she had to do it all again whilst everyone looked that made me want the ground to swallow me up. I don't really mind handing stuff back when I've gone over. But I felt like,look at me, I've got two bank cards and cash and still can't afford to feed my family. The most annoying thing is I had enough cash sitting on my kitchen dresser,which I will now be using to buy the things that had to go back, and loads of booze as wine o'clock is starting early tonight. Plus when I got home I dropped 4 eggs, and then burst into tears.

I just feel like it's summed up my year which for various reasons has been...well...fucking awful. But it has made me more determined to make 2018 better in every way Inc. financially.

Sorry if this all sounds a bit silly. I know there are much worse problems. I just need to get it out. I hope I don't regret posting this 😢

OP posts:
FretYeNot · 06/12/2017 15:13

I've worked on a checkout and those card readers can be fickle beasts, I always used to clean a declined card and give it another go. Sometimes that worked, sometimes not. If I had a grumbling queue I'd tell them it was 'tech problems' to quiet them (that didn't happen often actually, us Brits are usually very good at waiting).

Even if it was declined due to insufficent funds, it happens to the best of us. Things go out when you're not expecting them, things are not paid in when you are expecting them (Tax credits, I'm looking squarely at you, you fuckers) and who carries loads of cash these days?

It's part of a checkout operator's job to help you. And they should do it without judging, or having a go at you, or making you feel bad. Even if they have to put it all through again. When you're scanning all day, rescanning your 30 items may take some time, but it's no different to scanning a different set of 30 items. It's not even extra work unless it's right at the end of your shift. So don't feel bad. Just thank the check-out person when you go in again, don't be too embarrassed to shop there again.

Cagliostro · 06/12/2017 15:40

Ah bless you OP. I know just what you mean about one thing putting you on a downer. Hopefully once the shock has worn off you will start to feel better, in the meantime be kind to yourself!

I also understand the whole "aaah we have money again I can be less careful" thing only too well!

Do feel free to join us on the Frugaleers thread (on this board) by the way - shameless plug I know :o but we are a friendly bunch and it really has made the world of difference to my finances and emotionally too, I've had a virtual rant/cry in there more times than I can remember and they are always lovely and supportive.

Cagliostro · 06/12/2017 15:42

Agree an email to the store manager or even head office would be lovely as then the fab cashier would get more recognition. DH had that a few times and has a letter about one that he has used when applying for work so it has been really helpful :)

GreenPurpleRed · 06/12/2017 15:46

We would be considered high earners on MN and I've had tesco call me 3 times in the last 4 months to say my home delivery is being held as my card has been declined.

It's also happened when we were out and it was my turn to get a round in.

It's mortifying but it really does happen to so many of us try not to let it get you down Flowers

JessicaEccles · 06/12/2017 15:53

I had this happen to me in Asda- and the lovely person on the self-service tills gave the 15p I was short.

I also once gave someone a pound when they fell short of the bill in the Co-Op. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.

DandySeaLioness · 06/12/2017 16:48

I did a big shop, put it through the self service at Tesco and then forgot to pay...I realised just as the staff were about to start chasing me BlushBlushBlush

Laska5772 · 07/12/2017 12:22

Yes do come and join us on the Frugaleers .. We all have been there and have lots of good support (and friendly chat also )

overnightangel · 07/12/2017 12:29

No need to be embarrassed @minesapintofwine I’ve worked in shops and it’s more common than you’d think, and it’s happened to me on more than one occasion (ok, lots 🙂)
Things can only take a turn for the better
SmileFlowers

CarolsSecretCookieRecipe · 09/12/2017 08:34

I've had my card declined multiple times, I still get embarrassed. We live hand to mouth lately due changed financial circumstances.

Growing up DMum had to put food back regularly after the total was rung up, until it reached an affordable total. I was always really embarrassed, but it must've been humiliating for her.

Hope everyone's circumstances improve x

TotemIcePole · 09/12/2017 08:40

Ive done this a few times. I now have two current accounts with the same bank.

I have one for direct debits and one for food. Its working so far.

CremeFresh · 09/12/2017 08:47

Don't be embarrassed , life is shitty sometimes.

My ex cleared our bank account and disappeared. I went to the bank in the hope of being able to get a small overdraft (had a 9 month old) but I was turned down. I broke down in tears in the bank and walked out.

The cashier came running after me and gave me a tenner. She said it was from my account but I knew she'd taken it from her own purse . I've never felt so shit in my life.

Things will get better, and this feeling will fade . Flowers

ohamIreally · 09/12/2017 09:00

Cremefresh that cashier! Tears sprang from my eyes at that! Hope things are better for you now.

CremeFresh · 09/12/2017 09:04

Money is still tight 18 years on , but not nearly so bad OhamI

ShiftyMcGifty · 09/12/2017 09:15

Hopefully there’s not a next time but next time, loudly mutter... bloody joint account... what has he bought now that he’s forgot to mention?! Grin

I have a knack for forgetting to check the balance on our joint card at the cash machine before going into the shop - but only when I have a huge shop. Smile As I’m always misplacing my phone, I refuse to have any banking/card info on it, so I can’t check the balance in the store. So I warn the cashier there may be insufficient funds because I forgot to check how much is on the joint account and we both stare at my card to see if it goes through. Honestly, cashiers see this all the time and it doesn’t mean anyone will think you’re poor. Just disorganised, at worst. Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2017 09:37

Cremefresh what a lovely person that cashier is.

minesapintofwine I know you feel embarrassed but it really has happened to most people by now and they know it could happen to them. I wouldn't have huffed and puffed at you, I would have waited patiently. If I'd been the next customer along I would have seen what I had in my purse to help. Flowers

Sorry you're having a bit of a difficult time. It sensitises you to every little things that's going awry then, I know. I find that better days tend to follow really bad ones so that's what I'm hoping for for you. :)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2017 09:39

Shifty, that made me laugh... both staring at your card Grin

I've done that too but more scowling at it.

EasterRobin · 09/12/2017 09:49

Agree with pp about letting the cashier's manager know how nice she was, so she will get some extra recognition. There should be a feedback link on your receipt too so you might want to try that too. That way you can make sure something nice comes out of the incident.

I shop at Aldi a lot and on a couple of occasions I've been in a queue behind people in your situation. I've not once resented queuing for a bit longer. Anyone who did resent it is the sort of selfish person who deserves to be annoyed more often.

Don't let it put you off going back. They have friendly staff and lots of cheap food bargains.

CremeFresh · 09/12/2017 09:49

I will never forget that cashiers kindness and have paid it forward a couple of times.

junebirthdaygirl · 09/12/2017 09:56

It doesnt mean you had no money just means your card didnt work. It has happened to mean on a few occasions..more than a few as l had no money in that account . But l was only a little bit embarrassed as l knew l have money in savings just couldnt access it at that moment. I was back in shop the next day. Just go back in to buy something small. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

VioletCharlotte · 09/12/2017 10:19

This has happened to be a few times. It's so embarrassing isn't it? Blush
I'm sure it happens all the time, so the cashiers are used to it, but it makes you feel rubbish. Hope your day gets better x

OllyBJolly · 09/12/2017 10:29

Been there so many times....

and I used to work in retail and honestly - declined cards happen so often that it's really nothing to the check out staff. Nothing.

Lovely of you to send a card. Most folks wouldn't bother and this time of year retail is a thankless, tough job.

AdoraBell · 12/12/2017 23:42

I had a credit card declined when we lived overseas. There the tills show when a credit card has gone over the limit, and the staff cheerily tell you you’ve gone over Hmm

Please don’t feel embarrassed OP and don’t let it stop you going back in there.

Creme that’s the kind of thing that restores your faith.

LemonysSnicket · 12/12/2017 23:44

I’ve done it a few times when a direct debit has gone through and I haven’t realised , embarrassing but I think most people wouldn’t judge you x

PurpleCrazyHorse · 15/12/2017 19:02

It happened to me a few years back as DH was self employed and couldn't put his salary in (forgot to tell me) and I did a big trolley shop at Morrisons.

Honestly, I bet lots of people going through the checkout are also adding up and hoping it goes through so please don't be embarrassed.

We also had a payment fail to go through when we had the AA out to replace our car battery. It was right before payday and we simply were a pound or two short. Luckily we had savings and a data signal so I was able to see the problem and shuffle some money. The guy wasn't phased at all, he blamed his equipment!

hannahintheworks · 31/01/2018 12:32

You are not alone, trust me. This has happened to me several times and I know how awful it makes you feel. I now do my Lidl shop with the calculator on my phone, and add it up as I go round to make sure I have enough money at the till. I would rather do that than have the embarrassment at the till where people are watching and listening. Ultimately it doesn’t matter, you got you basics and those people will probably not give it a second thought so try and forget about it xxx

Swipe left for the next trending thread