Frugaleers hurtling through November... is it too early to mention the C word? All welcome for money saving chat!

[Cagliostro]

Hi all, please settle in for chatting about all things frugal, and all things everything else :o

I did a 6 week mindfulness course then a long weekend /retreat a couple summers ago...seemed good at first but in the end I felt it was just making me more depressed.. I think I must have deeper issues ..

So yes, emotional spending.. I hold my hand up to this. In some ways Ithink i use spending to 'validate' myself as I have always felt to be an outsider.. ( see, I do have issues.. ).

Its quite hard at the moment because I am due a pretty large sum from a deferred pension which pays out in a few days (this going towards the Campervan fund so I wont spend it ) . I dont mind being 60 but t does seem bit weird that I will be very soon..

Also I have also been receivig some unpleasant emails recently from a previously NC relative with regard to my 'status' within my birth family and my 'right 'or not in their eyes to a possible inheritance (I've not been part of that family since I was a baby). Tbh i have always felt I dont really have a 'real' family of my own and its not making me feel good about who I really belong to (it seems to no-one much ). This is a situation which may go on for some time as the person concerned is alive but now in a steep decline.. (its all rather inappropriate I think. so am trying to ignore the insults and so far have only replied in very formal terms) . I cant block them because i do need to know the information and if I did it would come anyway from other family members who i dont want to involve/upset ..

Aaargh! families mine are dysfunctional enough for the whole of MN ..

But at least I do have my own little separate family .. ..

Anyway enough about that .. I could drink and smoke and get into debt (and have done all that in the past !) but now I have kicked all those ( well not quite the !! .. but that would be madness. Oui?

But I'm happy enough and fortunate that i have a really lovely DH Kids and friends and that's what matters ..I just got to be a bit strong and positive about myself right now.

See. we are all a bit weird (nicely weird though) . my DH familyare lovely and all love each other. I refer to them as 'The F**cking Waltons' .. (to their faces.. they think this is very amusing...)

Gosh Laska that sounds tough.
Maintain formal terms and dont give them any ammo -some people just love drama.
As I said previously Im LC with mine to preserve my sanity .
Ive come a long way and am so much better than I was.
I did give up alcohol -mainly as it made my anxiety worse.
There are days when I really wish I could go out for a fag tho (life long non smoker )

Sounds like jealousy to me!. Kicking wine would indeed be madness.

Broke a posh wine glass. Well, John Lewis not baccarat crystal but it was posh to me. I'll save my valued opinions vouchers for a new set.

I stabbed myself in the hand with it too just for good measure.

£5 in nectar points recieved.

I'm OK Pink thanks .. I fact right now i am feeling pretty good... wont be taking any c**p anyway .The person may live a few years yet and it all go in care home fees ! (and that will miff my NC relative off big time....)

fluff you could look on ebay? I recently replaced a favorite old mug i broke that way

Laska what dicks. You don't deserve any of that. It will be pissing them off that you're not reacting to it so just let them get on with it.

I've just eaten loads of shortbread. Yum. Now I'm going to bed. Four weeks of this cough/cold is really getting me down (not emotionally just physically!) 😴

Laska I think you’re handling it brilliantly and I agree, your refusal to engage will be driving NC relative potty.

Wreck you are an HP enabler! There’s a new Wilko opening in my borough soon so hopefully I’ll be able to get some then.

I just made the mindfulness buddy term up, Sunny. What I mean by it is that if either of us are having a tricky time then we can ask the other to help us work through some mindfulness exercises or something else that would help us relax.

namechange you've just outed yourself on your old name!!

So today I've spent €22 on next candles free delivery and €50.85 on carraig donn on cake stand, Tipperary crystal candle stand & cute set of shot glasses. That's 4 more people taken care of for Christmas and €1.85 on a slice of rocky road to get change for paying the cleaner tomo €14 on balance of a car track present for ds that I'd forgotten Santa had bought

Wreck 4 weeks I'm only one week in
Shortbread is amazing

Laska here's a rather unmumsnetty massive hug

Today’s spends:

£36 petrol
£32 Riding

Dh spent £19 in coop.

Roast pork with crackling on mashed carrot and swede and spinach for dinner.

Picked up both pairs of boots from post office. I had every intention of sending one back. I’m keeping both. They’re both nice in their own way and will get worn.

Cleared out wardrobe this evening quickly. Just folded everything in the shelf section and made room for boots. Can now see what I have. In theory I shouldn’t need to buy anything new for a while. But there’s a huge difference between needibg and wanting

Found my fingerless wrist warmers. Whjch I’ve been wearing all evening and will wear on top of my riding gloves. This seems to be the best way to keep my hands warm.

Ds is being a little bugger. He flat out refused to sleep today. And we are all now suffering for it.

He is still not asleep.

Mummy just wants some quiet time.

Fluffy a JL glass would be posh to me too, we've got some M&S glasses which are my favourite at the moment.
There is a "Low impact Christmas" thread I was looking at last night which is interesting. Most on there are more extreme than me but I like the principles.
Busy, busy day here, but lots done and only £4 spent on a couple of bits & bobs for a Christmas Fair at the weekend.

Em how old is ds now? I can remember dds sleep changing at around 3 months and nearly drove me demented thats when I found Gina Ford I worked on getting her into a day time, bed time, night time routine as a way of preserving my sanity!!

Laska families and money seem to bring out the worst in people.

I had to get petrol £33.

Dd got a detention today she reckons it was for telling a boy to stop annoying her

Hope you are OK Laska.

Slightly spendy day buying Xmas gifts and supermarket shop. M&S Xmas chocolates and biscuits are held price if anyone's interested. I got big tins of shortbread for £4.50.

Just spent £3 on a simply cook trial box. I've been meaning to try it for a while and I went through inbox pounds so I'll get £2 back on that eventually though will take a while as can't cash out until £20 and usually I only do the emails, searches and odd survey so progress very slowly.

Need to remember to cancel subscription

girlie he’s 9 weeks. 10 weeks Sunday. Crazy where those weeks have gone. I’ve been off work for 10 weeks....

I’m trying to get him into a routine. It was starting ok. Only started last week mind. But dh being off these last few days has thrown it. Tomorrow we are back on day time/nighttime.

We only put him in a onesie at night. “Big boy” clothes during the day. He’s napping in his bed - or should be - in our room curtains closed sleepy sheepy on. Even if it’s only for an hour or so. I don’t mind. Just need a nap.

We’ll get there. I’m aware I’m possibly being overly ambitious. I may look into Gina ford

Oh god. I just spent £180 in Amazon dd1 comes down and says she needs waterproof boots for saturday, but hates wellies. Well, I had the tag end of christmas pressies in my basket...four lightning deals later (fleece lined thermals on they're way for me) and here we are.

How am I going to get through december without just buying more and more for christmas? I do this every year. At least I avoid real shops now, but bloody amazon and it's sodding prime delivery!

Made the dc a proper tea, I just had a bowl of cereal and a bag of popcorn. Very nutritious.

Evening everyone. Sorry I haven't been posting much. Either I'm busy and don't have time to post or I have time to post but I'm feeling guilty about spending on Christmas presents etc. I'm also oscillating wildly between feeling a bit fed up with the whole Christmas frenzy and the over commercialism and then feeling panicky that I still need to buy more presents (thus contributing to the Christmas frenzy). What am I like?

Anyway, NSD today. I was pottering around Arnotts earlier (big department store in Dublin) looking for a retirement present for a colleague. I spotted a nice Jo Malone candle and picked it up, then nearly dropped it when I saw the price. It was over €100! For a candle!! There's no way I'd pay that much for a candle and it's not even my money (we did a collection for her). Think I'll get her a nice bracelet instead. At least she'll have the bracelet as a keepsake whereas the candle will burn away to nothing.

Just read back a few pages.

mammy that's a great arrangement re: the au pair

Pink sounds like you cleared the air with your DH. Hopefully it proves to be the wake up call he needs. Your description of you and the cat making up made me smile.

Wreck hope that cold clears up soon

crafty ways of upcycling an old knit jumper for the uncrafty people here.

tayto I was in jo Malone shop in Brum with my cuz I just don't get it, none of the perfumes appealed to me. Carraig Donn have good stuff on their website & free Delivery over €49 maybe you might find something there?

Lonely I've decided my Christmas shopping is going to be completed in nov would that help? Dh not helping though asked him last night what we would get two of his adult children & response was I don't know but I'm not thinking about it tonight. In fairness to him this was 6.30pm & he would have to be up for work at 11.45pm but I didn't know that!

Ah tayto still talk to us even if it's too sounds out your feelings.

Laksa, take the bits you need, put the emails in a separate folder then ignore, ignore.

I started Xmas shopping in August & finished 6 weeks ago. I get the "it's November & im not talking about it till Dec" off Dh. He hasn't even asked what I've got for his dad .

Oops thanks Laska luckily I’d used that namechange ID to ask a specific legal question on a thread on Tuesday that’s now been deleted for privacy reasons so won’t be using it again! Whew! Name changes are such a hazard aren’t they

tayto Jo Malone is pricey and not whatvit used to be since being taken over by este Lauder. That said we do have a few candles kicking around here. Pomegranate noir and blackberry and bay are my faves.

I’m also using up a lime basil and manderin handwash and hand lotion in the “big” bathroom.

Dm raves about the body lotion - I have one to use - according to her the scent stays for ages and the cream is lovely and moisturising.

I’m also using up a grapefruit perfume. Which I do like and would probably be no more expensive than any other perfume. But I didn’t buy it myself.

Apparently Aldi/Lidl do a dupe of the jo Malone candles. Same smells. Fraction of the price and apparently they last longer. Although I haven’t bought any As don’t have a store here.

I love Jo Malone but way outside my orice range sadly. I looked at their advent calander and nearly cried when I saw the price.

Good start to day. Scottish Power have just refunded me £90 following their annual review of my account.

Need to get a taxi tonight to take dd somewhere. Otherwise hoping for a NSD.

Thinking a long way ahead, some years ago I decided tk ckear through all my fiod supplies in February and limit food spending to £1 a day. Given price increases DSs appetite and fact dp very rarely travels for work now thinking of doing same again but with £2 a day so £56 for whole month.