Frugaleers Marching on!

[Cagliostro]

Hi everyone, new thread as previous one full.

All welcome to chat all things frugal (and a whole lot more besides) - do jump in, we are a friendly bunch!

Oh wow life

That's interesting Mammy. I wonder if there's a general connection between struggling with weight control and sleep deprivation then. I had years of epic sleep deprivation and now keeping weight on is my big challenge. I know it's just stress and tiredness and it will just take time to resolve. Do you feel as though you are the same.

Meadow That's really hard about PE. I'm sorry to hear that.

Ipso I struggle to keep weight on too, I think for me it's stress and running about all the time, I don't really sit still for long. I'm rather tall and slim, so if I have a bad week or something and don't really eat, it shows immediately and I can look almost poorly.

Had to top up milk and bread, the dc are just eating and eating this weekend.

Wreck I second Cags suggestion of a class chat about inclusion and supporting one another.

Meadow i saw Hidden Figures last week and loved it as well, really thought provoking and inspiring. I was always shit at P.E, not sure why really as I was quite an active kid but i think I always felt too self conscious to really push myself. Am hoping dd will be different, she seems to enjoy a wide range of sports at the mo.....

Have had a lazy morning, had a long bath and pampered myself a bit which was nice. Used some posh shampoo and conditioner that I got for Christmas and I now have a head of curls rather than the usual frizz

Dd is on a lego mission, can't see my living room floor for lego but am impressed as she has rebuilt a lego jet from scratch which given she has had to sort through a massive box to find the pieces is not bad going!!

Yes definitely ipsos except for me it's the opposite problem, I can't lose weight since I had him.

It's funny about spot isn't it Meadow. I was never much good at sport, and one day, quite by the by, another children said to me "you would be a really good runner if you would stop talking and just run".

Before that I hadn't realised that no matter what distance I was doing round the athletics track, I was keeping up a constant stream of conversation with the person in the next lane.

Girlie hope ye all enjoy the movie I bought tickets yesterday for wed eve. Used my 10% off with membership.
Wednesday will be spendy - it's family day, we both are taking 3 days off each to cover au pairs holidays so Wednesday we overlap. Having breakfast out, paying mechanic 4/5 of what's due to him, lunch from deli counter & going to cinema.

We did have a nice time, in spite of Jamie's being a bit meh. It's only the second time we've been to the cinema together since DS was born - we tend to save our babysitting goodwill for when we want to join friends for something. We talked about baby names, it was nice just to be on our own.

I also hated PE at school. I was passable at team sports but really bad at athletics etc - I dreaded summer! I always did PE rather than getting out of it but I hated it. Such a shame that there is always a bunch of kids that find it such a negative experience and are actually put off exercise

Another PE hater here. Except netball. I quite liked and am/was quite good at it. Don't play anymore though.

Hated atheletics. Was always volunteered for 400m hurdles "because I'm tall" (that may be but I run like a wussy and am not fast).

Hockey was my worst though. Eugh. I stopped PE as soon as I could (at 6th form).

Bloody hell life although simultaneously not that shocked as it was a similar cost when we met friends at soft play the other week. It's soooo pricey!

Oh wreck no wonder she was upset, that's a hurtful comment :(

It is really noticeable with the sports club how many kids were put off school sport. In the group the majority have SN and really struggled with sport due to coordination/motor skills as well as the instant communication needed for team games (the latter is definitely where DS struggles). For most it was one of the worst aspects of school because they were bullied for their lack of sporting prowess. 😞😡 I know I keep harping on about this 😳 but I'm really pleased the club is helping these kids learn to enjoy group sport again. A few people have asked DH to set up a school one too (as in weekends) because their kids hate PE at school and are teased for not being good enough.

But they are so young to be put off sport! I remember waiting in the playground with DS (5 at the time) and some of the boys saying he wasn't good enough at football to play with them. Tiny 5 year olds! He just wanted to have a kick about. One of his little friends at the time was pulled out of the football club after school because he was barely allowed to play and what was the point of paying a fiver a week to be sat on a bench thinking "I'm not good enough" when you are a little boy who just wants to play and have fun?

The older group DH runs (secondary school age) still only has 2 - both boys. We've had loads of parents say they are desperate for their (pre)teens to do it, especially girls, but they are really reluctant having been put off anything like structured sport while they were at school.

It's such a shame but I think it can be so difficult when so much of school sport is based on competitive team sports, at least it was for me. And of course lots of kids do really flourish with that kind of PE lesson. My two tend to get on better with individual stuff where you're competing with yourself - trampolining, rock climbing etc, they have always been active kids but these types of classes have been brilliant for them and their physical confidence has soared. It takes away the communication element that they struggle with too.

Gah sorry for the epic rant! 😳

Cag, good for you getting the letter written to the bank. At least that bit is done. Now just the cc. I have Barclaycard and find them ok.
Polka, well done on beating. I don't think I have made £80 on eBay if I add it all together for years. I have given it up.
Wreck, those little shits need sorting out. Poor little DD. definitely class talk. If you find out names I'm afraid I couldn't keep my hands off them.
DP has got himself a Costo card so we went today. He bought loads and a lovely towel and pear tree for me. Lovely DP.

I avoided PE too, too self conscious I think.

I'm assuming I'm seeing the boyfriend tonight, as I told him the weekend and today is the last day of that. And I mean it. I feel nervous but I'd like to sort it out and lay down my upset, and listen to and reassure him.

I tidied my whole bedroom today. So that's really nice for me, been trying to keep busy to distract myself otherwise my mood will dive and I can't really have that, I have lots of clients, an exam and I'm back to work this week.

Mum and Dad face timed this morning and said I could go to my sisters for sister weekend 😊😊 as I've clearly worked very hard and I'm taking it very seriously and making efforts. They also said I could have an amount of spending money for the trip (from my account I mean), but I wasn't to buy food or coffee on the train. I'm really happy 😊 and I know it's really early days but I've saved already and feel so happy about that. And safer.

Sometimes, I feel 'younger' than all of you, like I'm a child or something, hard to explain. You all seem sensible, buy houses and lovely cars, I feel immature in comparison sometimes. Not that any of you have made me feel that way, you're all so lovely. I married very young and had my first baby at 16, I grew up with my husband looking after me. He left me at 25, 38weeks pregnant with dc4, out of the blue. It was a huge shock. 6 months later, my parents moved to France and I was left down here on my own. So I kind of didn't do growing up in some ways, and so much of it in others. So I know I seem silly somehow with my parents doing my money, but I really needed it and the support considering how alone I am down here is excellent. I went from a good income and being a sahm to being on benefits, that was difficult, I've been working for about 4 years now. I just thought the little back story might help and might help you see sometimes why I ask questions about dc shoes and silly things 😊

Ds1 is dyspraxic. Despite this he enjoys sport and plays football for school, he isn't academic at all, but he's happy 😊 and he's such a love, he's 15 very soon and we are great friends.

Polka I'm the youngest here I think - I'm only 23, and have no children, so I get where you're coming from with that a bit, but I have always felt welcomed and not judged on this thread, and I really look up to you all! I can't really join in with childcare/child/baby stuff because I know nothing about all of that, but I like listening and learning . And neither DH nor I drive, or have a car, or own a house, or anything like that!

Oh I feel very welcomed and everything 😊

Just sometimes I feel like I'm not a real grown up. Hard to explain 😊

Oh yes you're younger than me.

Don't worry polka I don't have a nice house or a nice car

I can't even drive 😁 although maybe I'll be able to soon when my finances are straight.

There's only a bus once a week where I live so need to drive really!

Risotto for dinner- bacon and leek.

Don't worry polka I'm 41 with a responsible job, house, car and DC but I'm still not a real grown up. i think I'm still 25.

Hope you take that the way it was intended as light hearted and to show it's not all about age or experience or where you are in life to be a frugaleer. We see past all that.

I think I'm 15 sometimes, and 105 sometimes. 😊 I know lots about being a real grownup, with 4dc alone, and then sometimes nothing!

I often wonder where the grown up is in my house, and realise the grown up is actually ME!

Polka I understand what you mean about not having grown up in some ways and having grown up a lot in others. I think that by moving from your parents' house to your husband's without ever having to earn your own living, you missed the chance to learn to manage money, but that doesn't mean that you can't learn now. You had a lot of babies very young too, which was a huge amount of work and responsibility and you have a lot to be proud of.

My dm was similar and so brought me up without a clear understanding of the importance of frugality, but I learned hard when I left home. I'm not girly and had a struggle to find a chap, and also to earn money, being a scientist. I kind of had a shock when I left my comfortable childhood home, and found that on my own merits I was unable to afford clothes or a life really. I picked myself up though, and now things are okay. It was a huge thing for me when I first moved into unfurnished rental accommodation and so was able sleep in a bed that I owned myself.

I'm 41 now. It takes time, but you will get there. It's realising there's a problem that is the critical thing.

Meadow I had no idea that you were so young. I think you have a great future ahead. You are training for a good job and you are very articulate about the struggles that you face. Being a bit older will make many of these things much easier.

polka I'm only just now with the baby on the way starting to feel like a grown up.

£3 to Dh for gravel.

I have decided to garden. It's not going to do itself and I want a garden.

I will use waitrose ready made garden plans and the garden trade centre round the corner.

My parents are financially very comfortable, so I went from a um almost privileged upbringing to living with my husband, who earned well enough for me not to work and to have luxuries. Then, when he lift it was a different ball game and I had no one to help me, really. I wasn't especially taught about money, it just wasn't an issue in our house. I'm learning now, albeit a bit late. And I'm enjoying it. 😊

Polka it's really refreshing to have you here! I am 42 and have always been old for my time (I was rubbish at being a. Teenager, didn't really get it and hated the pressure of people expecting that I would like clubs and stuff). But although I had a mortgage and responsible job before that I only really felt grown up when I had DS at 37! Probably something to do with being a student until I was 26. Albeit an uncool one

Cag I had never thought about the communication aspect of sport before. I can't claim that was my problem, I was just uncoordinated and a bit unfit /an early developer for my age, which made me very self conscious. But I found your post very thought provoking, thanks.

We are all tucking into Victoria sponge here. DS is having a bit for pudding and we are eating too it to show him some moral support