The Fantastic Frugalleers Meander into May.....

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

Thought it was about time I started a new thread

Glad you started packing, Girlie. Have you got any time off work to have a clear few days to get on with it?

I hope so, Fluffy, as it's absolutely ridiculous! I cancelled my Orange contract and have managed to find a £9.50 pay monthly deal with Carphone Warehouse, with a new free Samsung handset. IF Topcashback pay out this time, I'll also get £25 cash back.

£13.95 in the Co-op, on fruit, salad, yogurts and packed lunch stuff, as I like getting these myself in the summer months.

No time off unfortunately Creme my next annual leave isn't until August! Have got some friends and family about to help though and will be making the most of my days off (I work 4 days a week.)

It has rained all day here today - depressing for summer.

lila your food presentation is fab. My cat could do a better job than me.

Poor service drives me nuts too creme. Victor Meldrew was right.

Sorry haven't been around. It has been v hectic at work. Was in London on Friday. Good meeting. Spent £38 on train, will claim back. Dinner was £13.50. Yums.

Saturday £25 for language class, £46 at Morrisons. Tkmaxx £60. Some stuff for dh, some stuff for kids friends birthdays. Today £15 for h&m summer clothes for dd and £50 lunch for Father's Day.

I hate it when dh does food shopping. He buys things but won't eat them. I threw out 2 pizzas today. I wouldn't even have bought them. Couple of nights I was home late he gave the kids instant noodles?!!! How is that better than the pizza?!

My presentation has improved a lot.
One day I put up a picture of a yummy curry I'd made and got told it looked like cat sick

Apivita I guess noodles are better if you're a man! My former childminder took great delight in telling my dd loved them one day last year & how cheap they are. I don't know how I remained polite. They must not have made much of an impression as dd never looked for them since

Lovely day here....spends though....at least for me it was as I am still trying to save for some work on the house. Ice creams, coffee, that sort of thing. Still can't be frugal all the time.
Girlie I am so pleased about your house.....you'll have to tell us all about it when you move in.

www.morpeth17.freeserve.co.uk/The_Curry_Secret.pdf

Free copy of the curry secret. I want to try a vindaloo but not pay £10 for it from a takeaway in case it's too much for me.

Noodles=quicker=better.

Haven't caught up. But will do so diligently tomorrow.

Home now. Spends today £19 in primarni on shoes. Pink suede boat shoes. And some ballet flats. Dh was appalled. I dragged him all the way there. Then bought sandwiches and snacks for lunch and sat and had a Hyde park picnic.

Wandered through speakers corner and asked the "end is nigh" man when exactly nigh was. He couldn't tell me. Disappointed.

Also went to the Tate modern. Still do not really understand art. But some of the things were amazing. Made me think.

My anxiety has worsened (Dh has noticed this) and I went a bit panicky on the train this afternoon. Which panicked me as usually trains are ok. But. Home now. The flight back was fine. We were an hour late taking off but the pilot got us up and down again in 25 minutes (it's usually a 40 min flight at least!)

Will not be checking bank account until Tuesday. Pay day!!!!

As of Tuesday back to being the frugalist of frugals. Promise.

Amazing food photos lilac.
I just spent over an hour on Pinterest! Cheaper than Amazon though

Em I think you've described the nub of the problem there about the anxiety. It's the experience of panic that causes the panic. You've felt worried on a train and now you worry that you will feel worried on a train again, which worries you. I'm exactly the same. I so completely know how that feels. I've learned that it's possible to solve the problem, but it takes a bit of work.

The problem is that the more you worry about experiencing panic, the more your physiology gradually spirals up into a state of constant low grade worry. Then it is more likely that you will tip over into a panic reaction just because of a little trigger like a train trip. It helps if you can recognise that it is the fear of fear that is keeping you right up there in the panic zone. Once you recognise this, you can gently remind yourself often that things are actually okay, and start to gradually relax and settle back down into the comfy zone. Once you begin to trust that that works, then the cycle is broken. It takes time and work, but I think it's worth a go.

Does that make sense to you? I'm just working through this myself, and it a very interesting business.

Em can you get some CBT if you don't want meds? It's very helpful.

Will be nsd today as its going to rain all day. Will do housework and try to entertain ds somehow. Would love to take him to soft play or something but ££££

ipsos makes sense!! It's exactly that. I'm also conscious that I've been super stressed recently and not sleeping. So wonder if it's all been exacerbated by my body's lack of sleep?

I'm working on the sleep. And hoping everything else will follow/sort itself out.

Or at least once I've worked on getting my sleep back to normal will be more equipped to deal with everything.

The reactions, emotions & general out of sorts of my children this past week has really confirmed that au pair is best choice for us as a family.
Dd didn't even want to go to a friends house on sat as she wanted to be at home. Yesterday we stayed home all day & they really didn't want to go to childminder this morning. Only two more days till though.

Em what ipsos says makes a lot of sense, you're fearful of the situation before it ever happens, maybe hypnosis might help? Good that your dh is supportive

Holy moly. Just checked my bank account. grand total of £3.78.

Lucky it's payday tomorrow.

Dh is being really good. He has understood that at present my anxiety and stress levels are waaaaaay up there. Although it annoyed me last night when he was googling it and just telling me to "just do that" (breathing exercises, etc). Easier said than done sometimes mate. And last night I was tired and grumpy and hungry and not in the mood to listen.

I've got a meditation app (headspace) which I'm working through. And am planning on making small changes. So - no phones/electronics in bedroom, drink more water, eat better, exercise more, and realise that I CAN deal with just one thing at a time.

I hadn't thought about hypnosis. I'm a bit sceptical if I'm honest although I was about accupuncture will look into it.

Once you have some sleep anything is better IMO. You just can't function effectively or be in the mind frame to do anything without sleep. Good plan to focus on that first.
Stress central here and I'm really wondering if it's worth it.

Em if you're not sleeping and ultra-stressed generally then that makes a lot of sense. I know that I struggle like this when the whole of me life is at boiling point. Every set of exams, and then the early baby years have been the times when I've really struggled. It's basically when my work/life balance has gone out of the window entirely.

I totally agree with you, that your dh saying "just do this" is entirely missing the point. With me, when this situation arises, it means that radical change is needed, or else that I'm stuck in a really hard situation that will eventually resolve anyway (like exams/baby stuff or whatever).

Is your current situation something that will naturally resolve or do you need to take action?

With me at the moment, it's a combination of many things exacerbated by baby-related sleep deprivation, and so I'm having to approach it from about 16 different angles all at once. It's good to have a spring clean though, I reckon.

To continue (for Em):

The thing that really helped me decisively was when I went to see a therapist and she showed me that the physical symptoms of a panic attack, which I was attributing to physical illness, could be resolved in 5 minutes just by a really effective relaxation exercise. That was a sort of revolutionary idea for me, and set me off in the right direction.

I had previously asked about hypnotherapy but the therapist said there was no point as I was too analytical, and it wouldn't stick if I didn't believe the logic behind it.

I hope that helps. Sorry to witter on.

Since I posted yesterday I've watched episodes 3-5 of 'My Money and Me'. I already watched episode 6.

One episode featured a family expecting their second child who wanted to reduce their outgoings. They were running up an overdraft of €1,000 every month. They were spending an average of €255 a week on their groceries! In addition, they both seemed to do a lot of impulse buying. Their health insurance package was also very high. The financial advisor confiscated their credit cards and gave them cash envelopes each week for a month - €100 for groceries, €50 each for incidental spending and €20 for petrol. The envelopes system seemed to work well and the wife said she'd keep it up after the programme ended. They were also advised to change their health insurance policy for one that would offer roughly the same cover but for a much cheaper premium.

Another episode featured a young couple who wanted to save to buy a house. They were both high earners but spent a lot of money eating out in restaurants (several times a week), buying take away coffees and on taxi fares. No prizes for guessing where they needed to cut back .

The third episode featured a couple with three children who wanted to save to put their children through college. They were managing their money ok but didn't see anywhere they could make savings. They were advised to cut back on their grocery spend as they were spending around €220 a week on groceries. The husband was buying a lot of stuff on itunes/amazon and had run up a credit card bill of €3,000. He was advised to switch his credit card to a 0% interest card and endeavour to pay it off in the 6 month interest free period.

I don't think you can watch RTE player in the UK so I hope I haven't bored you too much. I found it really interesting as the participants were at different stages of life and had different financial goals and spending patterns. I've watched a few UK programmes along the same lines ('Bank of Mum and Dad' and 'Eat well for Less') but this one was more relevant as everything was in euros and I wasn't trying to work out exchange rates in my head.

Thanks Tayto, that was really interesting. I'd be interested to hear more if you watch more episodes.

That's the end of the series now ipso. Episodes 1 and 2 have gone off the Player. I wonder if they'll run a new series in September?

Better get on to the player fast so tayto if I'm going to get to see those episodes. I love bank of mum and dad but as you say it's better because it's something that's relevant to roi.

em bank balance with me 0.70 purse 56c joint a/c €307.78 we are paid weekly which means our balances are always going to be smaller but everythings paid for for the week, my bills are covered and there's fuel in my car so I'm not panicking.

Made frugal decision not to buy newspaper sat as I hadn't read last weeks, took out last weeks yesterday to discover there was a 2 part joe wicks recipe booklet in the YOU mag that comes with the paper, was then thought my aunt buys that paper every week and she's keeping it for me when I visit in two weeks [happy]

ipsos it's nice to read your wittering! It makes sense. And it's comforting to hear it from someone else's perspective.
Dh means well and he is trying to understand. So that's good. I just wasn't in the mood for "just do this" last night.

Things will naturally resolve themselves eventually. I know this. I guess I just want a quick fix. (I did see my GP about it and he wanted to prescribe anti-depressants and was a bit put out by me saying no - he's old school though and doesn't believe in alternative therapies).

Have just popped out to get a birthday present for my mum from me and also one from my dad. As he cant go shopping without her (well he physically can buy she always tags along!) so £90 in Jo Malone and a watering can for her. The Jo Malone will be split between me and my dad and the watering can is from me. Dad will reimburse me.

Have felt all out of sorts today. A bit sick and a bit "meh" (period started this morning too which explains a lot...) but mannnnn as if I needed that today too!! Am taking forever eating soup for lunch. Too much of everything at the weekend I think!

Back on healthy leafy greens and herbal teas and no bread or booze from today.

Actually cannot wait until the end of the day. Only another 3.5 hours to go.

Good luck there Em. Sorry to hear about the grotty feeling.

We're having the most astonishing bucketing rain today. I'm quite enjoying it. I cleaned out the greenhouse and I'm going to try a sulphur bomb in it to kills the beasties. I'm trying to make the most of things I have instead of spending money on other things. Frugaleering mission! :-)