May the frugaleering be with you - frugal chat and support for frugalers old and new.

[babsmam]

I took the liberty as we were nearly at the end of the last one.

Fucking hell the sainsburys tu website is bad and slow. THE 25% OFF HAS STARTED EARLY AND IS ON NOW.
Sorry for shouting but it's a busy thread I wanted to make sure you saw it. It's just taken me 45 mins to complete an order. Spendy £55 emergency vets appointment, £80 food @sainsburys, £230 tu but some will back as multiple sizes and uniform as away in August.

Ooh I was wondering whether to go to Sainsbury's or Asda tomorrow for a top up shop, Sainsbury's it is then! Thanks babs.

I've discovered a frugal way of cheering myself up. I'm learning Spanish, properly. At first I was just doing a bit here and there with the DCs as part of our home ed plan, but I'm really enjoying it. I've got/will get a couple of cheap/used books but that's the only cost. It's nice to use my brain for something.

ipsos yep. The website sounds familiar. I was "lovingly" punched in the face while he was asleep last night.

He's in the spare room. I hate asking him to stay in there. But there's no point in me being sleep deprived either. Or bruised.

He is stressed at present. Work and his mother are stressing him out. I sympathise but if I'm honest And this does make me sound like a bad person there's only so much I can take. It's all consuming. I have offered advice (when asked what I would do in the same situation) But it's been met negatively. I've suggested speaking to someone else. But no one else understands and im being unsupportive and dismissive of the issues. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Other than sleep in separate rooms and be fully capable of dealing with it. I'm awful when I haven't had enough sleep. Can't deal with anything.

I get that mil divorcing fil and fil basically disowning Dh and his brothers has been tough. I'm not making light of it. I just think that maybe he hasn't dealt with it. At all. I think he's still grieving for what he's lost. But he doesn't see that. I can't force him to see that.

On a happier note we've just come back from a Super posho dinner at my favourite posho restaurant which we had a voucher for. Sesame seared tuna, lamby lamb with potato gratin and chocolate and black butter millefeuille. And a glass of champagne. And a bottle of wine.

Gosh em yes I see what you mean. I wonder if it would be worth getting the sleep disorder idea checked out? He may not be stressed at all and it's just that his body has lost the control mechanism that's mean to keep his body language quiet while he sleeps. If it isn't that then he might be so relieved to know it that he'll leap at the chance of getting the stress resolved.

You're so right Em - it sounds horribly frustrating. Unfortunately no matter how much help someone needs, unless they choose to accept it, it won't help. I hope this difficulty eases soon.

Oh dear em. You are right, you need sleep to. Hopefully things will calm down soon

Nsd yesterday & thurs
Dh's last employer never paid him his wages yesterday, his manager said no one got paid, hope this isn't going to a battle to get paid.

Today I will have nct retest (€28)for au pairs car to pay & perhaps grocery shopping plus getting eyebrow reshape done.(€7)

Em hope your dh sees the light

Ds woke me at 5.30am, dd came in before that & snored all through the night so not a great nights sleep.

Au pair is making emergency trip home, so will have to pay childminder €50 per day until she returns gulp looks like just two days though

Oh no em sounds awful.

Going to collect food shopping £41 from tesco.

Will get the car washed and pop into sainsburys if they have their 25% off.

Might treat the dc to breakfast. Dd cried when dh went to work.

em Pretty sure people think I'm a bitch for walking away from my family & staying out of sil's self inflicted dramas but I can't give constantly.

Sil has now started on the younger members of the family & I have a feeling it's only me and the girls mum saying "stay out of it, don't get sucked in". It's the same shit being played on repeat.

What I'm trying to say is that these situations go on for years if you let them, and they are exhausting. He needs to decide what his line in the sand is & stick to it.

Started using Eucryl tooth powder, my teeth are much whiter and most of the stains have gone. 99p in homebargains.

Today will be Spendy. Haircut this morning probably around £40 (for just a cut & blow dry....! I go twice a year so while this is a lot...it's manageable) and then £25 riding.

Tonight's dinner - slow cooked Korean beef. And broccoli. Thanks Pinterest for the idea.

I'm going to speak to Dh later and suggest gently that he has to speak to someone else about his stress issues. Work will resolve itself, he has plans to leave soon (after he gets his bonus it'd be stupid to go any earlier) so at least there's an end point there. But the fil/mil stuff...trickier.

Best sleep last night.

Em As others have said, your DH has to need to want to be helped. I don't know if you know, but DH is Bi-polar. He was diagnosed extremely quickly as our GP is fantastic, but it was years (literally) before he accepted he needed to be medicated. I couldn't walk away, and nor did I want to, but it got to the point where I felt myself and the DC were being too badly affected and forced him to take help. He was at the point where he wanted help too. We went through a lot actually, thinking about it, I've just got emotional thinking about it...

No competitions this weekend, that is not a typo...

I didn't wake up until 8am, not even stirred. I am usually up and about at around 6am. Sat in bed having a coffee.

DH are going to a local art gallery later, then having a coffee and cake somewhere, then looking for some pots for the garden, sort of 'investment' ones if that makes sense, rather than cheap ones.

DH and I, I didn't even read that post before posting it....

We are at a friends tonight and hoping my friend with cancer is well enough to come, they've changed her drugs via chemo and she's having a torrid time with these ones, bless her.

That sounds tough Em, hope your dh gets help.
Need sorry your friend is having a bad time with the chemo. How lovely to have a weekend without a show.
My main spending this weekend will be on a meal out tonight for a colleague's retirement. Ds has cricket today & tomorrow, dd is cricket scoring today, dh & I will be mostly doing house & garden jobs I think.

Just spent another £100 on clothes.
Need a trip to pradamark to see what I can get there and return to sainsburys

need I didn't know that. It's good to have all of your input. Thanks guys.

I know that Dh has to want to get help - I guess that's the difficult thing at the moment is that he doesn't want to. He sees that I am his sounding board in some / most ways that's true I'll always listen. But can only help so much.

Right now I feel like booking myself into a hotel and holing up for a few days. I won't because a) can't afford it and b) it's probably make Dh feel worse.

What we have worked out though is that divorcing when you're older and have grown up kids probably does more damage than when the kids are young. Young kids can be shielded from all the "crap" grown up kids (like Dh and bils) ar old enough to understand.

Just back from hair cut. Hair is glossy, super straight and about 5 inches shorter (I didn't really realise how long it had gotten - even with a cut it sits just below my shoulders...)

off riding in a bit. Dh is at the gym working out stress on the poor weights and punch bags. His mate texted me earlier did we want to go round and play dungeons n dragons this evening. I've said Dh will go. I think he needs some bloke time.

Yesterday £71 at cash and carry. Some meat and drinks to take away with us next weekend. Will freeze the meat to transport in our cool box. Apart from that, an enormous sack of tea bags for mum.

Today £40 on haircuts for me and the 3DC. A friend (mum from dancing) is coming to do them. DH reckons she will charge more (mainly as DS needs a complete restyle, but she knows this), but if she's good (she should be based on the salon she works in) then we will use her regularly.

Will need to pay for parking at the hospital.

Got my credit card bill it has the flights for the wedding on it, plus parking for the wedding and summer holidays. I should be able to clear all this month's spending, but not much inroads into what was left over last month.

I spent lots

£34 petrol
£33 sainsburys but getting £6.50 back from my sister
£6.40 sains cafe
£11 in home sense on a new chopping board and this awesome door stop for Father's Day for my dad (I thought it was a pheasant but it's a turkey. I sill love it)
£41.01 tesco

And I somehow managed to sign up for membership for the wildfowl trust it's only £5 a month though and we will more than get our money's worth in the summer holidays etc.

Oh em that's not right. I hope he decides to get help. cake for you!

I've spent £120 at sainsburys. I was happy to do that because of the 25% off and the food shopping wasn't a lot. And because I got a £13.50 discount off a £90 shop - or so I thought. I should have checked the voucher as clearly it doesn't start till tomorrow!!!!! I am so angry with myself but I can't be arsed to leave the shopping so I went with it. Doh. I'm not happy.

Got a much needed new swim suit for me, and some skirts and hats for the dd. Ds got some trousers as he seems to have grown. Dh got sunglasses which he needs as his old one broke. He just needs to keep them properly!

Dd got a merit in her first ballet exam!! Very pleased for her.

I find sainsbury try and catch you out a lot with that. Makes me very annoyed.

Got my payslip from work, just over £400 which is good as I thought I'd had the last of my maternity pay. This was definitely it though.

I've started planning the spends for our holiday. We are going to the Isle of Wight for five days. So far I've planned

Day 1 - evening on the beach (weather permitting)
Day 2 - national trust needles old and new battery in the afternoon, bowling or beach in the afternoon £12 for bowling
Day 3 - bus and coach museum and a donkey sanctuary - both free
Day 4 - train from ryde head pier to shanklin £11 return on train plus £10 in arcades and £15 for lunch
Day 5 - dinosaur isle and a trip to be bembridge windmill and then a quick look at where the school was that my dad went to and hopeful a look at a lifeboat before we head for the ferry £14 for the dinosaur museum.

So £62 planned and then I'll allocate £38 for eating out / coffee. So £100 plus some shopping at aldi in cowes. My kids love the supermarket so that'll be a trip out in itself! So that means hopefully the whole holiday will be £350, think that's pretty good really!

What we are going to the IOW on Monday

I can't wait, there is so much to so and I haven't been in ten years. I used to live in Southampton and it was a lovely place. I'm very excited but also keen to be frugal!

I did shred level two for the second time this morning. Nearly threw up!

I've done it three times so far. Need to do it again today I have sweat dripping off my head by the end of it! I've just realised level 3 isn't on YouTube though which is annoying especially as I had the DVD but got rid. Yes there's so much to do I'm trying to work out what to go to and what not. There's a few essentials and we've got a friend over there to visit too.

That's super organised what
I've holiday in two weeks now. Self catering for all of it. Going to an aldi shop to cover breakfasts & lunch/dinner & have one meal out most days. For those two weeks we won't have to pay au pair or need groceries at home so this frees up about €500. This should cover diesel, groceries & food. My parents will be with us for 3 nights of it & they're both generous

em hair sounds lovely, hopefully riding lesson doesn't ruin it!
audit that sounds like good value for your haircuts too
Gulp just put deposit on framing a canvas for my mother €20 total price €65

That should be balance 65