Kick me up the arse please!!

[SausageBaconCrackling]

I need someone to come along and tell me to sort my shit out please.

My husband and I just cannot pay down our debts, well, we can, but we don't. We spend money like water, yesterday alone we spent £100 on two meals out! I'm disgusted, honestly. We have, between us, £8k of credit card debt, mainly from costs racked up in my husbands previous job (which we were promised back and never got) moving costs, house improvements and also random shit. Like food.

We earn an extremely healthy £3900pcm net, so there's no excuse no to have paid this down is there?! We never have money left at this point of the month. I cannot stick to the budgets I set, it's not intentional, costs crop up like school shoes falling apart, a tyre gets a nail in etc.

We don't have savings, we have 4DCs who appear to make us hemorrhage money. I try so hard and just cannot stick to the budgets I set. We can reasonably afford to pay off £1000 a month but can never find this? How do I get back the self control??

Moneysavingexpert is brilliant for budgeting. Have a look at their debt free wannabe forum. The first thing you need to do is a statement of incomings and all outgoings.

In this you need to include irregular costs because things like school shoes and car repairs are not unexpected. If you have a car it will need repairing. If you have DCs, they will need clothes and shoes etc. Out of an income of £3900, you shouldn't be surprised if your annual irregular spending for things like car repairs, clothes, insurances, christmas and holidays is several hundred pounds a month so you need to be saving that amount, not spending it on meals out.

You need to prioritse spending. Bills and basic household costs first, then annual costs that are set aside and spent as needed, then debt repayment, then discretionary spending like meals out . Only then can you work out how much you can afford and whether or not you have enough to pay your basic bills and debts and how much, if anything, is left for meals out.

You can also save money by regularly checking that you have the best price for your utilities, mortgage interest rate, insurances etc, or if you rent, could you move to save money? You should compare and consider changing products once a year at least. Often the only essentials where you can make savings is fuel (can you drive less and walk/cycle/visit closer attractions) adn food (can you eat cheaper meals sometimes).

Consider your arse kicked. ...you need to sort yourself out so you can set a good example to the kids. I guess you know what you need to do tbh.
Come over to the frugal thread. ...?

YNAB www.youneedabudget.com/ has just kicked me up the arse again after a bit of a break.

In essence if you haven't budgeted to eat out from available funds (after prioritising other essentials) you don't eat out! It can help with credit card expenditure too.

I always thought that budgeting and managing incoming/outgoings was simple. How wrong I was ! I need all the help I can get.

Good luck and don't beat yourself up too much.

Definitely come over to the frugal thread lots of us were & are in your position.
Read some of the older threads too. We shop around, we re-jig leftovers, we chase bargains, we save for bigger expenses, we monitor our money & it gives results

Standing orders are what saves me - have lots go out on payday loans electricity savings for Christmas, car tax etc, catalogue repayment ( my deal with myself anything I buy must be paid back over 4 weeks, divide cost by 4 & set up standing order for this)

Pay the money into your credit card as soon as you get paid. You will soon learn to budget with the remainder I would go for £667 or£800 a month, aim to pay it off in 10-12 months. Transfer any borrowing into a zero percent card if you haven't already. Put the credit card/s in a sealable freezer bag and then into a large container of water in the freezer. This means you have to seriously consider it before you can use it as it takes ages to defrost.

You can't easily do this on your own, though - what attitude are the rest of the family - particularly your DH - taking to spending and saving?

Helen thats brilliant about freezing the credit.

I'm off to freeze my credit card! What a great tip.

W e are a one income family now so have to watch our pennies so this is what we do/ have done so far to save money:

1- switch to Aldi/Lidl/poundshop (for cleaning products)for 75% of my shopping and I save an average of £20-£30 each shop compared to when I was at Tescos.

2 - switched utility/mobile/broadband providers via topcashback so I save money as well as getting cash back on my shopping

3 - selling old toys & clothes to pay for the kids new stuff. I haves set up a separate account for this. I use e-bay and baby markets to sell the old stuff.

4 - saving £2 coins into a jar and once I get £20 I put it in a savings account. It is very easy to accumulate a lot of money very quickly this way.

5- save coupons & take advantage of money off deals

6 - take a picnic on days out or eat before you go out especially shopping

7 - Odeon does kids films on a sat am for a £1 so we do this a lot and take our own snacks. Nobdy has dared to search my bag yet!

8 - start saving for Christmas/festivities now - I have started to buy a gift & top up on supermarket saving tokens now to off set the cost of celebrations. Think more about creating memories rather than having a mountain of presents that you see on facebook.

9 - switch your repayment direct debits to standing orders (you don't need to tell the company that you are doing this) & increase the repayment to the nearest pound/s (as much as you can afford) as this will decrease the term of the repayment & the amount of interest the company makes off you.

10 - sell any unwanted items lying around the house and put it towards your debt repayments (carboot, ebay etc) When I need to buy something I immediately think what can I sell to pay for it & it's a good way of holding back on impulse purchases!

Good luck

You need a reponsible adult to give you spending money.

Can any of your kids step up?