Advice needed, please

[NeedMoneyAdvice]

DH and I have just found out we are about to lose £500 a month income.

I had started another thread, but I was advised to come here for some advice. We don't know what we are going to do and I wondered if anyone could help us. Name changed because lots of these details would out us.

We have just taken on an 18 month lease with a letting agent. We have spoken to them this morning, and we cannot break this. We could simply not pay, but we would lose our deposit, and would struggle to find a landlord that would take us on if we did this.

We currently earn about £30k between us, take home about £23k.

Rent is £1000
Council Tax is £200
Gas and Electricity is £190
Phone/Broadband is £50
Childcare is (currently) £350
Car insurance is £60
Car payment is £140
Petrol around £80
Home insurance is £20
Gym membership is £75

Think that is everything. Obviously, this leaves us over budget. I genuinely don't know what we will do without this money?

We aren't entitled to any benefits, including WTC and CTC.

I genuinely don't know what to do.

I didn't say people don't want to help - I said if people don't want to help then they should go. It's quote distracting having every other post be about inconsistencies and is completely derailing the thread.

There is some good advice on this thread. But hounding someone and the nit picking is disgraceful.

OP step away from the thread. Go to CAB or similar and get some professional advice. Take care.

OP, start a whole new thread, explain that the facts in you previous 2 were inconsistent but that the details you are about to give are the actual truth this time and then list everything properly.

No one can help you if you deliberately deceive them.

You said repeatedly yesterday that your rent was £1,350 but that isn't true.

You were asked repeatedly why your husband only earned £11k as a trainee professional and you said he just did only earn that, yet now he earns £20k.

I really don't understand why you would do that.

It's not about bullying, it's about people who are trying to help you but are unable to because you are not telling the truth.

Miren.What do you mean "so what"? What an odd thing to say.

People have given up an hour and their experience or professional expertise to try to assist her. Of course it matters if the amounts keep changing whilst you are trying to advise someone.

Baofnuts - I followed the thread yesterday and can completely understand the inconsistencies. The explanations make sense to me - and if they didn't I sure wouldn't be bothered enough to spend my time pulling the OP up on it. I would think 'bollocks' and move on.

Troll hunters are the same as trolls IMO

It matters?! This is an internet forum, do you understand that?!

Oh God… really? Please don't start with the welcome to MN bollocks

OP. I tried to advise yesterday.

My advice for today would be this. Firstly, step away from mumsnet.

Get a piece of paper. Write down (honestly) all your outgoings. Work out your income. Go through each one and be honest, can you reduce it? Or get rid of it totally?

People are getting annoyed with you, because a lot of us do exist day to day on very little income. You have changed your story that many times, it just doesn't seem credible in the slightest anymore. When you advise someone on how to cut their housing costs (for eg), sympathise about the 'never having a holiday/never going out' etc and then find out on another thread that the same couple have expensive gym membership (which incidentally, I'm very confused about - you have 3 jobs - when the hell do you find the time to sleep and eat never mind go to the job - oh yes, and you're 8 months pregnant )...you see???!!

I'm even confusing myself here.

Changing details to protect yourself is one thing. Wrapping yourself up in such a made up world of made up financial figures is just putting people's backs up frankly.

You have spectacular failed to stand on your own two feet as an adult for the last 6 years. Now is the time to step up. Get the facts and figures. Get your DH to take a day off. Go and seek professional help

If you want real help, you need to be honest. Not on here. This is the wrong forum for that. But you and your husband could really benefit form going through your finances with somebody. Clarity is what you need.

Miren OP has stated both 11k and 20k as DHs income today. On this thread. I am sitting here doing calculations under the impression that two small children are at risk of homelessness. Which I do still believe actually.

She is not making it easy to help her.

Lying will inevitably lose her both sympathy and credence.

Listen OP. You need to go to a debt advice charity and tell them everything, do not mix stuff up like you gave on these threads. Do not go back to a financial adviser. They have an interest in selling you things.

Your financial situation is pretty dire and regardless of contracts you need to scrap the gym and your phones. Give meter readings to the gas and electricity companies. Your bills cannot reasonably be £190 a month for a two bed flat.

Call tax credits and talk to someone. Talk to your mp if need be.

Whatever helpful posts there have been are now getting lost in snarky, sometimes downright bitchy posts.

Good luck.

Re needing the landline for broadband not with virgin you don't.
Also I really think you would be better of not working you would get more tax credits, less childcare costs and how reliable is leaving baby with a friend two days a week.
Don't mean to sound judgy either but four weeks old is very little to leave your baby for four days a week,

Your babies wont be homeless, go to the council when you get evicted they will house you, its not nice, i have been there but at least its a roof over your head.

your heating costs are way too high for 6 hours a day in 2 bed flat we do not pay that in 4 bed house and we do not freeze at 14C take a meter reading today take another say time tomorrow work out what you are using on average per day and ring up and change supplier they will be basing calculations on last tenant I would think £100-120 would be ample for 2 bed flat

go to CAB and ask them to check tax credits, I do not normally advocate this but you might just be better off not working after you have baby not paying for childcare and then once not working claim housing benefit again oK because of bedroom tax you will not get anything like the £1000 you are paying

I think you over-stretched yourselves the rent was not really affordable on our incomes I feel sorry as hindsight is a wonderful thing but you could save at least £100 on heating

That is homelessness teenage. Nobody has mentioned sleeping rough. They would qualify for homeless B and B.

She can turn it all around though but she needs to tackle the situation head on and be honest with someone in RL who can professioally advise.

NeedMoney - I was on yesterday's thread and now I am on this one. I hate to think that you are in tears or feel bullied. There is a wealth of expertise on here from MNers who just want to help and the 'bullying' is really just pure frustration from people at the ever changing story.

I won't bang on about your house, gym, mobile bills (all far far too expensive and beyond your means and should never ever have been taken out in the first place.) However, what's done is done. You need a fresh start and you need to look at the bigger picture and dry those tears. T'intenet has reduced me to tears before now and it's just not worth it. I imagine you are young old boiler talking here and you must treat this as a life lesson - don't rely on family or live beyond your means again.

I am just not sure 'here' is the right place for any more advice. You need CAB and the other suggestions posters have talked of. And I do just wonder what your DH is doing towards resolving this crap financial situation because you have spent a lot of time posting and I do think he needs to be more proactive and you should skim through your two threads and write a list of anything that could be looked into, whether it is rent again, gym, mobile, G&E whatever... and the two of you should look at this and tackle this together.

I wish you luck with it.

NeedMoneyAdvice, I know it's horrible when all your "choices" seem so unpalatable, but you need to cling on to the fact that it's not forever, and even shit situations are rarely as bad as they seem at the time.

Up until 2 months ago we lived in a one bed flat with ds1 (7) and ds2 (10 months). Now, did I set out to share a room with 2 children? No? Was I embarrassed by it? Yes. Did I hope for something better? Of course. However, it absolutely saved us financially through a few very, very tough years, and now we're in a 3 bed and things are a lot better.

Ds1 is loving having his own room, but he wasn't scarred by sharing with his parents and his baby brother, it was normal to him, and actually quite lovely a lot of the time to all wake up together. Another thing that people do is let their children have the bedroom and they sleep in the livingroom. I know you said your ds needs his privacy, but only in an ideal world. In this world he needs a roof over his head, food in his stomach and parents who aren't going out of their minds with financial worry. Sharing a room with a baby, or even with a baby and two parents is not going to damage him.

I know this is all a moot point when you don't think you can get out of your lease, but if in fact it turns out that you can manage it, don't discount severely downsizing until your finances improve. It's not the unthinkable thing that it seems when you've never had to do it. Honest, it's not.

I don't know about any other thread. I responded to this one Op as you'd had no response in 20 mins and it seemed like you needed some brainstorming type ideas to help you get out of a financial pickle. And possible a little vent. Its what MN is for, I get that.

I have no axe to grind. I don't care if you have changed/fudged figures.

I have tried to offer some ideas though along with others - only to be met with a 'no can do' attitude.

I do understand, and empathise but you haven't made it easy to offer ideas and help.

Your posting style is defeatist and woe is me. I remember being 8 months pg with barely a pot to piss in. Its shit. That sort of attitude won't help though. will it?

If you have caused some of this by being less than honest with regard to state help then I'm afraid you or your partner really will have to knuckle down and work, work, work. If you cheat the safety net it won't catch you a second time and all that.

You seem to have had your heads in the sand for a while though. I can't believe you have taken out an unaffordable tenancy based on the assumption of a regular gift. Its laughable if it wasn't so sad. Rents haven't mysteriously gone up overnight.

There are other things in this post I would question too. Who the chuff misses off food costs from a basic budget but insists they joined a gym only recently cos they just love exercise yet cannot live without a car

Op I wish you well, but I'm out.

You need to put priority debts first; rent and council tax. 3 of us live in a two bed house and we don't scrimp on heating and our gas and electric is £80 a month. Do you pay your council tax over ten months? Local authorities can split payments over 12 months if that is more manageable for you....
You need to stop paying for gym, phones etc. I suggest writing to these companies to explain your financial situation has changed and offer an amount you can afford to pay. They would prefer to get some money rather than nothing. The CAB can help with this.
I would also go to your local authority and have a chat with the housing options team to see if they can offer any advice. If your properly is unaffordable then technically you are at risk of homelessness.... Although they will tell you to stop paying the secondary debts like gym, phone etc etc.
I assume you aren't entitled to housing benefit, but it might be worth speaking to the housing benefit department at your local council to see if you can get any assistance with a discretionary housing payment (DHP) on the basis that the property was affordable when you signed the contract but your financial circumstances have changed. This is a separate pot of money that the council can use at their discretion but definitely worth asking.
As mentioned by someone else, see if the landlord would consider releasing you from the tenancy agreement if someone else was found to rent it. Mention to them that if they don't, you are worried you will not be able to afford to stay, resulting in rent arrears building up and them having fork out money to evict you.
I think when baby two comes along you will be entitled to tax credits, albeit a small amount. The reason I say this is because we are on a similar income and don't get anything now but if we had another child I think it worked out we would have about £12 per week child tax credits.
This must all be very daunting for you , but you have to take drastic action so that you don't lose your home and or end up in loads of debt that you can't afford to pay.
Good luck OP

People are not horrible, you need to be HONEST.
There is no magic wand, I am in your shoes RIGHT NOW except I don't have children, just cats. I have robbed Peter to pay Paul every single month for 2 years now because my DH can't find work. We are not in UK.
We have a lovely 3 bed house, rented. We took it 5 years ago when we were fairly well off.

Now we have my small FT salary and my husband's even smaller pension.

Because we love the house so much and didn't want to leave it we negotiated a temporary rent reduction from our landlord.

Petfood is expensive here so instead of Whiskas, they now get a cheaper brand.

We changed our phone/internet provider.

We don't have central heating, we have split AC/heating blowers on the walls (like you see in holiday accom). Electricity is ridiculously expensive so we never switch them on. There is only one electricity supplier here so not able to shop around.
Instead we use calor gas type heaters. Gas is €15 a bottle, we are extremely frugal with it. It's winter here for only a little while longer so heating costs will disappear.

Water we can't change as again, only one supplier but it is metered and we are frugal.

Ditched our expensive TV subscription and watch it through the internet.

Petrol is €1.40 a litre, no unecessary journeys, I refuse to waste petrol. No public transport to where I work.

I work in a garage so no car maintenance costs.

I budget in advance so I know where the money is going, shop at Lidl and if the money runs out we have toast for tea till I get paid. Petrol and bills come first, then cat food then us.

We don't go out, have not had a holiday in years. I got my hair cut last week for the first time in a year!

The point is that you have to cut your cloth. We were very lucky to get a rent reduction but if we hadn't then we would have been forced to move to a much smaller house. No doubt about it.

Oh and www.entitled.com website is good for checking about tax credits and housing benefit

I meant www.entitledto.com

Fedeline no if you dont pay your rent for a few months and get an eviction notice the council will house you you once you have one, so all OP has to do is not pay her rent and then she will be housed, esp with two children. its not ideal but will happen

Yes. That's what i said. The rehousing is likely to be B and B or hostel at first, though.