Advice needed, please

[NeedMoneyAdvice]

DH and I have just found out we are about to lose £500 a month income.

I had started another thread, but I was advised to come here for some advice. We don't know what we are going to do and I wondered if anyone could help us. Name changed because lots of these details would out us.

We have just taken on an 18 month lease with a letting agent. We have spoken to them this morning, and we cannot break this. We could simply not pay, but we would lose our deposit, and would struggle to find a landlord that would take us on if we did this.

We currently earn about £30k between us, take home about £23k.

Rent is £1000
Council Tax is £200
Gas and Electricity is £190
Phone/Broadband is £50
Childcare is (currently) £350
Car insurance is £60
Car payment is £140
Petrol around £80
Home insurance is £20
Gym membership is £75

Think that is everything. Obviously, this leaves us over budget. I genuinely don't know what we will do without this money?

We aren't entitled to any benefits, including WTC and CTC.

I genuinely don't know what to do.

[Sillybones]

This is the first thread canyourearme - think it's reached breaking point now!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2000374-PIL-Issue-Need-some-perspective

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Perfectly possible BrunoBrookes. I'm band F, and water+council tax is £227 per month. We're 3 beds now but were only two when assessed.

[Bagofnutsnbolts]

If you can tell me how to link, I will gladly link you...if you see what I mean!

[Bagofnutsnbolts]

Oops sorry xposts!

[canyourearme]

Cheers sillybones

[canyourearme]

Ive had a flick through the other thread. Im not sure if this us real ir not.

If it is, i have sympathy fir you. I think your fil was totally out of order to stop the money, without warning, when you are heavily pregnant, when you have just moved.

I cant understand the pasting you have recieved, there us nothing wring with accepting financial help, no different than accepting free childcare?

Your position is untenable, taje the advice youve bern given.

[canyourearme]

I was in a not too dis similar position myself op.

[Bagofnutsnbolts]

I guess you didn't read the bit when DH came on and told us we were all utterly foul, when a lot of people had gone to a lot of trouble to offer very good and very sound advice, and met with constant can't wont shan't attitude....very frustrating! Somebody asking for advice bit not actually wanting it I think though main issue, is huge inconsistencies ....when so much is so wrong eg hubby earns 11 k then earns £20k people are gonna get a bit sceptical not too much 2 x full time jobs + 1 part time job all paying under minimum wage? Do you see canny people are just wondering why make up so many different stories? You can help if you don't have all the facts. "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first me practise to deceive"

[YeahThatsWhatISaid]

Lots of posters change the facts to try and ensure they are not outed in real life. Although, the OP changed the amounts involved the totals were more or less consistent and the basis of her problem was 100% consistent. Her reasoning of including bills in her rent or mortgage was understandable, if a bit misguided. I don't see that changing the facts means you are a troll. .

[canyourearme]

I dont know if op is real or not. If she is, i feel for her.shes hugely pregnant, never mind anything else.

[DreamingAlice]

Changing the facts to avoid being outed is understandable in many cases. I don't think people are actually accusing the OP of being a troll. But in order to receive properly considered financial advice, consistent and accurate facts must be provided and it does absolutely no good whatsoever to glide over inconvenient details or hide things that might totally skew the calculations. ANY good financial adviser will definitely want to drill down into the detail because the detail matters.

Take the issue with the tax credits, for example. What the OP has said really makes no sense. Getting barred for life by HMRC for underclaiming?!? People have pointed out it makes no sense and all the OP will say is that we should take her at her word that she is not entitled. Really? Why come for advice then if we are not permitted to query the detail?

I would love to try to help the OP. But even a fairy godmother is not much use if you don't know the date or location of the ball.

[canyourearme]

I dont get the tc thing either? Prehaps op just has it in her head that this is the case when its not?

[Fluffycloudland77]

I think it's too scary for them at the moment, either they earn £500 a month more or make drastic changes.

I'd be moving as a priority.

[Bearbehind]

I agree with yeah.

I think the OP thought that if the totals were about right the principle was the same.

It's a measure of her naivety.

It was probably her that earned £11k and her husband £20k and she thought she could just flip the figures without realising it screwed up the fact he was studying for what then appeared to be a ridiculously low wage.

I've know idea what her motive for that would be on an anonymous forum but I think the reality is they didn't want a solution that involved anything other than the £500 a month being reinstated.

[waltermittymissus]

I agree. I think she wanted people to tell her what a bastard FIL was and how to go about getting him to continue forking over the £500!

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

I would love to try to help the OP. But even a fairy godmother is not much use if you don't know the date or location of the ball.

Alice - you are fabulous! That is exactly how I feel! I'm sure there is a solution but I can't find it because the numbers keep moving.

[PedantMarina]

I'm finally going to put my opinion out here, having read both threads.

It wasn't just the lying about the £11k + £9k + £9k, or the £1350 pcm flat suddenly being £1100 plus utilities. It was the judicious combination of information that might out her (SIL and BIL being a solicitor and a pilot, respectively, unless that was an elaborate double-bluff which, let's face it, OP didn't seem bright enough to accomplish) and refusing to provide information we needed to help her, lest they would out her.

Then there was the stunning ignorance of some really basic stuff, what the minimum wage is, for instance, as she was purportedly earning it. Or not so basic but surely she'd know if her DH was doing it: industry practice re banking courses via the workplace.

The 8-year-old not only turned into a [2?]-year-old, but didn't anybody else spot the bit in the middle where he's product of her previous marriage (she's a widow), DH has adopted him and she gets quite stroppy about that too. And if he's now a 2-year-old, how does a school's ofsted (or scottish equivalent) really matter? And how does that impact on the mere £350 a month (only for pre-school and after-school - a 2-year-old would surely only be in nursery/daycare?)

I don't get how people with that little income could pass tenant agency checks to have such a high rental. I don't get how they could get a £2,500pcm overdraft, esp if they've already had bad credit.

I don't get how she can have a "minimum wage" job that requires her to come back from maternity leave after 4 weeks, or that she can/has to do from home but the workplace doesn't at least at least contribute to the broadband bill.

Then there's the times she was posting, including when she was supposedly driving from one job to another.

When I mentioned even the first inconsistencies (about "minimum wage") to my DP (a secondary school teacher) his first reaction was "students. Who have clearly never paid attention in any of their business classes".

So I guess that makes me a troll-spotter. Since OP has left both freds, I don't much care.

[BeingAGrownupSucks]

I'm not sure at all what's going on but I think it's a testament to MN that even after OP left both threads there are so many MNetters who are so frustrated because they just wanted to help (and MNetters are great at helping).

To jump in on what Pedant is saying. There are a lot of inconsistencies, however I don't think the age of her DS changed. I can't quote her exactly as I'd have to find it first but I think she was reiterating her situation and said something like, I already have a DS (soon to be 2). I'm pretty sure she meant she was soon to have 2 children NOT that DS was soon to BE 2.

Massive overdrafts are very easy to have if you've been a student.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Fwiw,

I would get very narked about the digs regarding an adopted child.

You legally adopt a child that means they cease to be someone else's child and become yours, and any family member or randomer who argues with that is a cunt!

[LittleBearPad]

I read the soon to be 2 comment as having 2 children, not that her first DS is going to be 2 soon.

The students thing makes sense because she said at one point the £2,500 overdraft was free. I haven't had a free overdraft since being a recent graduate. Unless my banks just mean.

[Roussette]

I just think it's a bit sad that there is now possibly one (or two if you include OP's DH) that think MN is the pits and we are all a bunch of vipers. I did try to explain to the OP nicely on here or t'other thread, that most (not all...) MNers want to help and jump to it with advice but that they just feel they have wasted considerable brain power and empathy if their advice becomes meaningless when the facts change within minutes and questions on that are unanswered.

I do quite understand about wanting privacy online (we should all practice it at times because sometimes having it all 'out there' is not a good idea) but if you change the facts slightly, do make them meaningful so that MNers can help with the knowledge they do have.

Whatever the OP and her DH are going through (and to be honest, I now haven't got a clue because I imagine they can't get TC's because they have savings or a big house...) I just hope they can sit down and work it through, and they revise their opinion of how they asked for help on here.

[lucysnowe]

I read the soon to be 2 comment as having 2 children, not that her first DS is going to be 2 soon.

Yes I read that too. I saw a couple of examples where posters were accusing OP of changing her facts when actually they'd misread her posts (admittedly it was all getting very confusing and I think OP was getting confused too - the thread was going very fast).

I don't know, I think it's easy to sympathise with the OP and her situation. (Armchair philosophy ahoy!) She suddenly has to turn everything around, at eight months' pregnant - it's no wonder that she is panicking. And I think a large part of her is still focused on PIL's money. She's thinking to herself 'See, we really can't do it, we DID need the money, we weren't being selfish'. And of course all the posts telling her she IS selfish and grabby (and ignorant) just make it worse.

[fideline]

But fundamentally it just didn't make sense to post on AIBU, calling her FIL tight, asking if she WBU and then arguing when she was told she was.

Equally it made no sense to post in credit crunch with half an SOA, repeatedly fudge the figures and refuse to discuss tax credits.

Even odder for someone who said she had been on MN for a decade.

[YeahThatsWhatISaid]

Everyone must have found the OPs posts odd and very misguided but there is still no need for so many posters to be so vile towards her. She sounded distressed and she is 8 months pregnant. Her original AIBU was about the loss of the £500 and not a request for help to overhaul her finances.
I think some of the replies on her threads were made with the sole intention of upsetting her - i don't understand why anyone would want to do that.

[Jinty64]

It can't be Edinburgh. There are dozens of two bedroomed flats in Edinburgh for far less than £1000 pm. even in the centre.