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Original poster

Dear people who were parents of toddlers in lockdown

206 replies

jallopeno · 02/09/2023 19:40

How on earth did you manage?!!

I'm so sorry. I don't think I realised how much of a struggle it must have been. Hope you're doing OK.

OP posts:
fearfuloffluff · 03/09/2023 08:51

WhatNoRaisins · 03/09/2023 08:42

Even when we weren't officially locked down there were a lot of periods where there wasn't really anywhere you could take kids and the weather was bloody terrible. It's all just merged into one hideous period to me

Children and social distancing don't really mix. I know a teacher who was expected to teach pe with children staying on their well-spaced dots on the playground.

Loads of places scrapped child friendly measures and haven't returned them - cafes that used to have books and toys, museums with children's interactive touchable stuff. I think they took the opportunity to stop doing something that was a nuisance for them anyway.

WhatdidIdoyesterday · 03/09/2023 08:55

Yeah it was awful. I had a 5yo and an almost 2yo at the time. DC2 had her 2nd and 3rd birthdays in lockdown. DC1 only had 3 friends at her 6th birthday and it was just a basic picnic in the garden as we were only just out of the harshest lockdown level. DC1 had done first 6months of school but then basically forgot everything during lockdown so going back to school was like starting for the first time all.over again. We got zero online teaching and frankly between trying to WFH and watch the 2yo, teaching DC1 was not a priority. My mental health was shot to pieces and I developed major anxiety and had some bouts of depression. I was working 9pm to 2am to try to make up my hours at work because noone in my company was eligible for furlough, then getting a few hours sleep, then with DC all day everyday cooped up with nowhere to go except the same local playpark again and again and again. I'm still recovering from it all. Still bitter when people reminisce about being on furlough and all their lockdown skills they learnt like it was just a giant holiday.

Aozora13 · 03/09/2023 08:57

My youngest is now the age my middlest was during lockdown and it’s made me reflect on just how awful it was. I was really unwell with long Covid and for months couldn’t even get out of bed, never mind care for a toddler properly. She didn’t walk until 20 months and was behind with her speech also. She’s right back on track now and starting school next week - I hope there’s no lasting damage. It was tough on all ages though - a teen relative developed serious MH issues and don’t get me started on homeschooling my eldest…

RoseLarkin · 03/09/2023 08:59

Thank you OP. It was so hard, and I always felt like I shouldn't be finding it hard. I had a nearly 2 year old and a 3 month old baby when lockdown started, and DH was a key worker out of the house full time. My mental health was the worst it's ever been, I feel like I've only just emerged from the other side really. It's reassuring to know that I wasn't alone in feeling like this, as it felt very lonely at the time.

fearfuloffluff · 03/09/2023 09:00

The other thing that was unpleasant was actually having COVID with young children - I remember wondering what would happen if we were too sick to actually get out of bed and care for them, whether you'd maybe get social services who would somehow find fosterers who didn't mind the risk of COVID transmission. Or whether they could go to family members and risk giving them covid. Sounds daft now but I thought about it a lot.

Finchgold · 03/09/2023 09:57

Everyone’s covid experience was so different. I was a single parent with a 3 year old trying to keep my self employed work going in some way and we had no garden. I remember making the MacDonalds car park our playground and a ramp outside a church our skatepark. It was incredibly lonely but most of the stress was down to the unknowns. I hated not knowing what was happening with self employed furlough, worrying about being ill with covid, worrying about whether I’d ever get back to work properly, worrying about when nurseries would open. I’ll never forget the supermarket queues, trying to entertain a small child when everyone else had left theirs at home to keep them safe.

riotlady · 03/09/2023 11:41

Thanks OP. DD was 2 and decided to drop her nap at the start of the first lockdown, I cried like a baby! I was trying to do a masters and getting anything done was awful.

When nursery was open again we had to take her for a covid test and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever done- my DH had to climb in the boot to restrain her from behind. After that we never tested her again and just kept her home for the 10 days if she ever had symptoms. Anyway I didn’t think she would remember it but she’s 5 now and the other day described it really vividly to me! Really brought it all back.

HasAnyoneSeenGavin · 03/09/2023 12:25

it's heart breaking reading everyone's experiences.

There has never been a period of acknowledgement for what everyone went through, covid just dwindled away and everyone expected to just pick up where they left off.

I knew and still know how lucky we (as a family) were during lock down. although it wasn't pleasant for my teens and it definitely effected their development. Again they were in a better position then most.

It is a lovely thread to start OP. and it's nice for people to be heard and seen.
Flowers to all.

TheKeatingFive · 03/09/2023 12:42

My kids were almost 6 and almost 2 when it started. It was fucking awful. No one gave the slightest shit however, so it was keep it together or go under. We just about avoided going under.

But my view of the world has significantly changed.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 09/09/2023 13:16

I had a 1.5 yr old and a 3 yr old. Nursery shut but working full time. It was just horrible for them and me. Everything went to shit.

ZebraDanios · 10/09/2023 09:23

RosaKim · 02/09/2023 21:55

Same. I still feel resentful. Of those people and teachers!

Show quote history

Sorry, why are you so resentful of teachers? Because the schools were closed?

ZebraDanios · 10/09/2023 09:34

I remember a friend saying that the worst thing about schools and nurseries being shut was that people weren’t doing their jobs properly because they had to look after their kids - he complained about people having to leave meetings half-way through, not really focusing, lots of noise in the background etc.

I was absolutely gobsmacked by that. To me lockdown should have been a time when employers understood that work was going to take a backseat for many and expectations just had to be lowered. How many jobs really needed to be done at the same scale and intensity during a global pandemic?

Dracarys1 · 10/09/2023 09:56

bluegreenandcoral · 02/09/2023 20:06

I had a 3 year old and a newborn. I know it was really hard but I kind of don’t remember it anymore, it’s just a blur - I think my brain has blocked it out!

Same. 1 week old (literally) and 3 year old. Can't really remember much about it now but it was challenging

BobShark · 10/09/2023 10:45

I had a 7yo boy, and was trapped in an abusive relationship (bit sons dad) on the other side of the world to my family.

I cried a lot, drank a lot at night when he was finally in bed, my employer at the time was awful, I was a contractor and after around 8 weeks they let us all go so then I was also unemployed.

My 'partner' who lived with me wouldn't help financially and I wasn't entitled to any financial assistance due to being partnered so ended up living off the little savings I had.

Eventually being unemployed meant that I could do the homeschooling well, we became a good team of two and would aim to get all school studies done by lunchtime and go to the beach every afternoon, he looks back so fondly on that time.

Eventually I found a new job, they were amazing, we found a rhythm with homeschooling, though it wasn't brilliant and eventually I sent him back to school as I was classed as an essential worker. He loved it, there were only 7/8 kids at school and he made lifelong friends during that time.

It was tough, but we survived and I don't think he was too harmed, he's amazing.

Sexnotgender · 19/09/2023 15:59

DS turned 1 just as lockdown happened, we had 7 months of lockdown with him at home. I nearly had a breakdown.

Caspianberg · 19/09/2023 16:30

We live abroad. Lockdown was basically until summer 2021.

Ds was born in Lockdown spring 2020. I had to stay alone in hospital, then meet dh in the car park 2 days later after carrying all out bags and baby down 3 flights of stairs. Alone.
We weren’t allowed to mix with anyone the first year. So we spent all Ds baby days, his first Christmas and first birthday not allowed to mix.

It was a very lonely time. As dh was working from home but working 9-6pm. And I was just alone every day with baby, also trying to work part time. We just walked miles and miles.

Ds is now 3, at nursery and doesn’t seem at all affected

Original poster
jallopeno · 19/09/2023 17:58

Caspianberg · 19/09/2023 16:30

We live abroad. Lockdown was basically until summer 2021.

Ds was born in Lockdown spring 2020. I had to stay alone in hospital, then meet dh in the car park 2 days later after carrying all out bags and baby down 3 flights of stairs. Alone.
We weren’t allowed to mix with anyone the first year. So we spent all Ds baby days, his first Christmas and first birthday not allowed to mix.

It was a very lonely time. As dh was working from home but working 9-6pm. And I was just alone every day with baby, also trying to work part time. We just walked miles and miles.

Ds is now 3, at nursery and doesn’t seem at all affected

That's a similar boat to me. I now have a whirlwind of a toddler. That's what got me thinking!

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 19/09/2023 18:10

@jallopeno - yes. I mean for me it was lonely. But Ds had full on parenting for first year plus. He was with Dh and I 24/7.
We did get out and about a lot walking, gardening (we have large one), renovated house with him just gawping at me painting etc.. So he wasn’t just trapped in tiny flat a year.
But he’s somehow turned into a super happy, sociable 3 year old. He isn’t shy, skipped happily into nursery at 2.5, and makes friends easily.
If anything it does highlight that babies actually don’t need anyone else socially except parents

addictedtotheflats · 19/09/2023 22:33

I had a 1 year old. We broke rules and saw friends outdoors when we weren't meant to. Around June 2020 we went to each other's houses. No regrets

BelindaBears · 19/09/2023 22:40

I would have been ok if it was just the toddler. As it was, the combination of working from home in a job that was busier and more pressured than ever, a DH who couldn’t work from home, a job I couldn’t be furloughed from and no childcare for 4 months was the worst time of my life. The only saving grace was I didn’t have to try to teach her anything because she was only 2.

I ended up signed off for 6 weeks a couple of months after the nurseries reopened, I was just so burned out from getting up at 4:30am to work until she woke up, looking after her all day, squeezing in another couple of hours work at naptime (if she’d nap that day) then handing her over to DH at 6pm and working until I was too tired to do any more. It was a fucking ridiculous, unsustainable situation that loads of people were in and I can’t quite believe I accepted it.

I really resented the narrative about how we were all having a lovely relaxing time at home in the sun peddled by those who were lucky enough to be furloughed.

Colinswheels · 19/09/2023 22:53

We had a 1 year old during lockdown, it was literally hell on earth. We were both working from home and also homeschooling our older child.

I am still traumatised and angry honestly, nobody should be forced to work without child care. It wasn't helped by my neighbours calling the police on us when my Mum came into the house for 5 minutes to drop something off. They then watched us every time we left the house so that I was terrified to even go for a walk.

DyslexicPoster · 19/09/2023 23:13

My youngestcwas five, but reading these stories are so sad. Can't imagine what it must have been like having a baby and giving birth. We was so lucky as we have a garden and basically live as tennants on a massive private estate. We could go out and walk for miles every day with no eyes allowed except those of us who live here.

I remember going to the shops one day and being too scared to get out the car. Turning my phone off everytime I got in my car. My poor kids didn't fare well at all. I hate thinking about it. I'm not the same person now either

IHateLegDay · 19/09/2023 23:20

When the first lockdown started I had a 7mo and a 2yo.
Honestly, I loved it as DH was home for the longest he ever has been. It was nice spending time together as a family and we adapted pretty quickly to our routine.
There's a park a 10/15 minute walk away that's pretty secluded so we'd take the kids there for an hour a day and run around and it would be so peaceful!

They're now 4 and 5 and I think if a lockdown were to happen while they're this age, I'd lose my mind! 😂 They're fab but they can be hard work.

Yesterdayyesterday · 19/09/2023 23:25

I had a 2 and 5 year old. It seemed stressful at the time but I often feel nostalgic looking back at it as we had more downtime together than we do these days. My hours were cut by my employer to 3 days per week so I used to work 7-11ish mon-fri while DH had the kids and then we would swap. DC were fine and positively loved being at home with us, and walks around the village were more than exciting enough. They definitely watched too much TV though.

The second lockdown was worse though as the toddler was in nursery while DC1 had to stay home, employers were less flexible/forgiving and the weather was grey and miserable.

IHateLegDay · 19/09/2023 23:34

Ok I've just written my post about how much I loved it but just read through the comments and had a flashback to begging my husband to put the kids in nursery as soon as it opened because I was feeling really mentally unwell. 😕
I must have blocked that out!

I didn't put them back in nursery until April 2021 though as I was so anxious about covid.